Thanks to Madison Woods for the photo prompt and Friday Fictioneers to keep us on our writing toes.
Through vicious barbs and twisted wire the sun had the audacity to shine. Marushka licked the dregs of a discarded sardine tin. Her disappointed stomach howled its outrage. She sank down on the stony ground. Stretching her rawboned legs in the dust she longed for silk stockings to hug her once shapely calves.
From her torn pocket she pulled a mirror-shard and glowered at her reflection. Who was this bald hag? Murderer! No! She’d only covered his mouth so they wouldn’t hear.
“24682.” She slashed a trail, long and deep, through the tattooed number to her wrist.
“Mama’s coming, Dovid.”
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
This is both beautiful and chilling. And I love the story and the description.
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Rochelle: Powerful and heartbreaking. Perfect use of the prompt. Here's mine: http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
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I'm stunned. How beautifully sad. Thank You for this.
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"…the sun had the audacity to shine." I loved that phrase. Rochelle, your story was full of perfectly tendered emotion, a great use of the prompt.
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I really loved the detail of the sardine can. It drew me into the moment, creating a great visual.Here's mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/04/26/friday-fictioneer-6/
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Lovely, bittersweet tale. It reminded me of Crazy Cora in "Quigley Downunder"–she accidentally smothered her baby trying to keep him quiet during an Indian attack. Very nicely rendered–I loved it!Mine: http://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html
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This brings to mind stories some of the elderly I used to care for told me about some ofthe mother's in concentration camps in WWIIVery chilling.Mine is here http://createrealitylivelife.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/flash-fiction-story/
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Wow I just read your bio so I see now. Good job the emotion was very deep
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Yes, I grew up hearing the stories and seeing the graphic pictures. So my story is based on accounts I've heard.
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Marushka licked the dregs of a discarded sardine tin. Her disappointed stomach howled its outrage. Just brilliant, emotion, sense of place, feeling and heartbreaking. Superb.http://freejournowriter.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/friday-fictioneers-flowers/
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This was a very graphic piece – and really gives us the feeling that we could all be this woman. Fantastic – and I think quite brave of you!Linda Lindaura
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Wow, not only a really powerful piece, but also really well written. I hope you decide to build on it. Well done.
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This was truly dramatic and more than a bit horrifying. Poor woman. Nicely crafted, well done.Mine's at http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/trespass/
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You humble me.
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Wow, Rochelle. Hugely strong and poignant. It made my heart ache.–Janhttp://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/flashfriday-fictioneers-behind-barbed-wire/
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This reminds me of an old episode of NCIS, where a WW2 vet had killed his injured friend purely to stop his agonised screaming from giving their position away to the enemy.The almost unhinged emotion on display here is excellent.Mine's this-a-way:http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/fridayfictioneers-hunterhunted/
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Thanks, Gary. I'm a huge NCIS fan. Wasn't thinking of that episode but appreciate the connection.
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Oh, I felt that shard of glass gouge deep! Powerful picture you made!Mine is here, and very different from yours. http://oldentimes.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/hog-tight-it-endures/I am really enjoying how many different pictures this prompt is evoking.
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Heavily reminiscent of a darker time. You've done a fantastic job of taking us there.Thank you.Here is the link to mine. I hope you enjoy.http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/
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You weave this story beautifully and there are several great lines, like the audacity of the sun. I have a few questions, but that's OK in a short piece. Most of all I wanted to know if the person she killed was friend or foe – a guard trying to hold her back, or her own child. That would give me more clarity as to whether the wound she is inflicting is just to remove the tattoo so she can find a living child, or to kill herself to join a dead one.The piece is chilling either way, but I'd have liked to know.I'm over here:http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/friday-fiction-soul-memories/
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Here mind sounds a little gone. Murderer and prison in combo. Good grief. Nice story.Link to mine: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/sharp/
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'Through vicious barbs and twisted wire the sun had the audacity to shine.' Yes, the sun has no business shinning in such grim circumstances. I love this. Chillingly beautiful. Mine is similar: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/fridayfictioneers-sobibor/
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I really liked some phrases that you have used in this post."Audacity of the sun", "Disappointed stomach" "howl of an outrage". Good play of words!I didn't quite understand what quite happened in the story to be honest. Maybe I need to read it a few more times..Parulhttp://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/building-boundaries/
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Wonderful and stark depiction of a Sophie's Choice moment. Excellent pacing to the inevitable. Thank you for the reminder to never forget.
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Considering the quality of the writing in NCIS, I hope you took my comment as complimentary! 🙂
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Very moving piece with vivid imagery. Great work!Here's mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/04/27/scraped/
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Chilling and powerful. It's good to be reminded of history's horror stories now and again.Thank you so much for sharing.Here's mine: http://the-drabbler.com/trespass/
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I've always considered NCIS to be the best character driven show since M*A*S*H. So to have my little body of work compared in any way to it is high praise indeed! Thank you!
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I really enjoyed yours, too. I am amazed and entertained by the differences.
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It is a challenge to write a complete story in so few words, isn't it? The person she killed was Dovid, her baby son. Unintentionally she smothered him with her hand over his mouth and nose to keep the SS from hearing him and finding them. Unfortunately it's a fairly common story. And yes, she killed herself to join him.
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As I said on your site, my Marushka met your Herr Manning.
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Concentration camp. Starvation. Suicide to escape the horror.
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Wonderful Rochelle, So sad beautiful and heartbreaking. I so quickly related and understood. Great job!Sussan De Allura
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Just read this last one. I can see the scene and it works. Real good. Poignant words and phrases. If one can visualize the whole scene in the 100 words used, little else is needed.
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Holy Cow! That got me… nice work.
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A completely different light on the tale of today. There was a different feeling in this one. Still powerful,
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Dear Al,
I was going to rerun this one and saw where I’ve evolved as a writer. This was my third installment in Friday Fictioneers. As you can see, I was just one of the gang back then. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on it, too. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You’re welcome 🙂 It was Friday Fictioneers that started my fiction writing – and instalments with Raynard. And that started me with the idea of creating my own weekly prompt. You were writing good back then, and have increased 100 fold in that time.
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I remember this one, oh, it’s still just as emotionally wrecking. Congrats on four years! May we see you for many more! 🙂 ❤
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I like this version better. 🙂
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Dear Adam,
Thank you for taking the time to read both and comment. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The words chosen may not be the best, but it still invokes a lot of emotions. You are a really good writer Rochelle!
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Dear Symanntha,
It was only my third flash ever. 😉 Glad it still speaks. There were a couple of writers who actually preferred this version to the update.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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