This Week’s Friday Fictioneers photo is from Stacy Plowright. Thanks to Madison Woods for opening this forum to form a global community. Who knew?
Thanks for dropping by, Rochelle.
***
“To delight the angels she dances on clouds. Heaven is illuminated by her presence.”
“Clichés.” Luke spat in the sand. “Who really dances on clouds anyway?”
His poetic words touting faith and hope did little to convince himself. He flung his notebook to the ground. Thirteen years was not enough time to love.
Even though none had fallen, he tasted rain. Vaporous whorls and ridges imprinted the blackening sky.
He waded into the churning sea. There he waited for lightning to sear him until her voice whispered on the wind.
“Stay here, my love. Our boys still need you.”
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
Rochelle,
I read this twice. Loved it both times…felt very literature like to read (hope I made sense with my improper grammar). Your choice of words were perfect for the story’s imagery.
“vaporous whorls and ridges imprinted…”
Very well done!!!
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Dear Rochelle,
Perfect words throughout, but especially the ending. You captured the uncompromising nature of life. It is hard to love, to lose, to stay for the boys, to write (loved that part) and hard to wait for the lightning. It’s a wonder we last two weeks after we’re born.
We each wrote love stories this week. Interesting.
Aloha,
Doug
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Since we’ve spoken this week, you may recognize the influence. Been a very emotional week and continues to be. Again thank you for you kind comments.
Shalom.
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I love the imagery created her. You can see the storm building, in nature and in him.
Fabulous!
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I love the beggining, the poetry that he wrote. I love the ending, the message that she sent him. A wonderful story, poignant and full of truth.
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I love ‘even though none had fallen, he tasted rain’ – that’s exactly what it’s like. Nicely written.
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Beautifully written; the occasional hopelessness of trying to carry on, portrayed succinctly.
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Beautifully written! 13 years – I wonder how much time really is enough…
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When one loses a spouse I think no time is truly enough.
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I think so too
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Rockstar: 100 words with depth and many levels. He’s wise enough to recognize the cliches which disgust him. Feeling self doubt and self pity without his spouse. Love the message about the boys needing him. Maybe this will wake him up and he’ll get on with his life. I’m #29 this week.
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Thanks Lora. I’ve read yours and loved it. My comments should appear on your blogger in a few hours. 😉
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Very nice. Lots of hidden emotion.
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Beautifully written and full of loss.
http://adrarasdreams.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/fridayfictioneers-storm.html
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You usually write very good shorts, Rochelle, however, this one was better than very good, better by far. Not only was your underlying subject matter gripping and well crafted but your selection of words was just beautiful. I really enjoyed this delivery. Thanks.
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Thank you JK.
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You overwhelm me, JK. Thank you.
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Rochelle, I wish I could rave as eloquently as Doug and JK about how great your post this week is, but alas, the Good Lord gave me a different dictionary. Just trust me when I say the story was outstanding.
thanks for signing up on my site and for your wonderful comments.
http://russellgayer.wordpress.com/
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Your dictionary works just fine for me, Russell. Thank you.
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As often happens when I get to reading and comments after a number of erudite readers, all I can do is echo what’s been written and say a lame, “Excellent.”
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Yes, sometimes we need reminders of what should keep us here, and you stated it with such simple eloquence. This will stay with me a while.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/for-the-world-is-hollow/
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Beautifully done, with a poetic lilt. Mine is here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/08/31/friday-fictioneers-harmattan-rain/
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this “Even though none had fallen, he tasted rain.” is great. especially if I understood it correctly as a memory.
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It took me a couple of reads to get this, but now I do, I love it. A fantastic story of love and loss, and so many great lines. I like the mixture of hope and despair you sew into this piece.
I’m over here – http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/31/friday-fiction-white-pegasi/
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Interesting read.
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Tragic and lovely. Thank you.
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I really enjoyed this – the about-turn after the first line really got my attention. I love the symmetry created between his cynicism, and the lyrical style of the narrative voice. Really well structured, nicely written.
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You have a touch for detail and the intricacy of the story were a delight to pick apart. Here’s mine:
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Another great story. Thanks!
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Wow Rochelle! This was a very well written and surprisingly powerful story. Well done!
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I can tell this story came from someplace very deep. I’ve read this one four times already and I still can’t get enough of it. I think the word ‘beautiful’ has been used in the comments section more than a few times, but your story truly is that! Left me wanting to know a lot more about your writer’s story – his personal story that is. Well, well done!
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Thank you, John. Actually you hit the nail on the head. Last Sunday a good friend, the mother of 2 young sons, died unexpectedly after a bout with the “flu”. So the title Writer’s Catharsis is a double entendre.
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Very sad. But this story is a wonderful tribute.
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“Thirteen years was not enough time to love.” – such grief at the heart of the story!
The last scene of this piece makes me think of ancient Greece and Rome. I’m trying to remember – is there an ancient writer named Luke (Lukas, Lucius, whatever) who was said to have had an affair with a goddess?
Or of course, it could just be that his wife died – sad, sad story, anyhow. Well written.
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Any link to ancient mythology is purely coincidental, Sharon. Pulled a name out of a hat. Thanks for the comment. The grief is real.
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Heart-touching story of grief and loss, but also a story of encouragement to go on living for the sake of others. Great work!
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A well written and beautiful story. I could feel the emotion and longing throughout..very much enjoyed this.
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Thanks for reading my Last Day blog, I enjoyed yours as well. beebeesworld
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