Thanks to Piya Singh for this week’s photo prompt.
Here’s my offering for Friday Fictioneers. 100 words on the button this week. I can’t say that it came easy, but I think it conveys the story I was going after.
And while you’re in the neighborhood, why not read my previous blog entry? It’s a good reminder for all of us who write to make every word count.
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Despite his outspoken arguments against the Confederacy, to please Father, Amelia’s twin brother James enlisted. A year later he perished at Clark’s Mill.
Afterward she spent afternoons in the abandoned slave quarters reading Andrew’s letters in secret. The last one came seven months ago.
“When the war’s over we’ll live in New York…”
Had she lost him, too?
From the corner of the shack a Union soldier stumbled toward her, his face chocolate brown beneath his rumpled cap. Her knees buckled. He caught her and crushed her against his broad chest.
Breathless, she devoured his bronze lips. “Andrew. Dearest Andrew.”
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
Rocks! What a terrific story. I’m usually not into romance stories, but I found myself fantasizing about the future of Andrew and amelia. Thanks for the little sweet read.
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Awww…very sweet. So vivid and brings to mind the many men and women in battle away from loved ones desperately missing them. This is so nice!
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I like this very much! Loss, romance, and best of all, change.
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War always tears families apart! Happily amelia will have a chance of love 🙂
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The first paragraph is unnecessary.
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Bumba is entitled to his opinion.
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Your love stories are always beautiful and touching. This one is no exception. It could be the story of many a tale and woe of lives lost and love enduring the heartaches of war. And, I did read your earlier post of Doug’s article posted. It was good and made good sense for all us writers.
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A sad, haunting Civil War story which ended sweet. Amazed you saw the hut as abandoned slave quarters. Even more amazing … Andrew knew where to find her?
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Enjoyed this Rochelle, I guessed Andrew had lived in this building? There’s quite some potential in this concept. Well done.
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Brilliant, and I do hope that they did indeed go off to New York to live. Could make a really good longer story or even that basis of a novel too 🙂
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Who knows? I think you’re right, Linda. It could be stretched into a novel. Just the teeny bit of research I did for this flash fired my imagination. There were successful interracial marriages in the 1800’s, mainly in places like Brooklyn usually between black men and Scottish, Irish and British women. In my mind Andrew and Amelia were a success story but with a lot of intriguing potential for obstacles.
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Well, I’d definitely be interested in reading anything longer Rochelle 🙂
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Took me a few moments to fill in the pieces of the story – who Andrew might be was as opposed to her twin brother James – and then the black soldier appearing – and her (and the reader’s )suspense at “her knees buckling”, worrying for her welfare as she is “caught and crushed” – strong words – only to find that they are words of passion – and Andrew is a black secret lover… hot ,powerful last words: “devouring his bronze lips.”
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Thanks for sticking around to figure it out, Randy. I debated on whether to include her brother’s name but decided it would’ve been more confusing without it.
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You’ve worked so many wonderful themes in such a short, short story–war, love, social issues, racial issues. Nicely done.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/diaspora/
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What a deeply-layered story, and all in 100 words – you impress me again! Enjoyed this heart-warming tale, Rochelle.
Thanks for your comment on ours.
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Dear Rochelle,
The first paragraph sets the stage for the story and frames the time and the trials your protagonist is living through. I thought you really nailed it with this story; fear, longing, loss, passion, and love, both in the moment and the love that endures in the heart of someone separated from their beloved. I didn’t even think about the prompt until I had unravelled the threads of your tale and figured out what was happening. Perfect title, too. A very fine story in every sense of the word.
Aloha,
Doug
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Love, fear, war, longing, separation…… a lovely read, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Thank you too for your comments on my post
Dee
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Very well done. As mentioned before, you got so much out of your 100 words!!
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Hi Rochelle. Well done. You set the scene nicely for a powerful ending. Crushing and devouring… great word choices. I enjoyed it. – Amy
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There’s so much happening in this tiny story, and you tell it clearly enough so we can understand – very impressive! I like the way you move from several paragraphs without much detail – Amelia’s memories – to the richly detailed, very physical ending that puts us right in the moment.
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Hi Rochelle,
Thanks for the uplifting, happy ending. Thought the Civil War was an inspired setting in response to the photo. Thanks for reading and commenting on my story. Ron
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Oh BTW – I’d say the first paragraph is essential. When I first read the story, I wasn’t sure if Amelia was white or black – but I can’t imagine a black man during the Civil War supporting the Confederacy so strongly he pressured his son into joining the southern army, so Amelia has to be white.
Which makes the whole situation much more complicated and interesting – I can imagine Amelia talking to the new neighbors in New York. “So how did you meet your husband?” “Well, my father used to own him…” Chapters worth of Awkward Situation right there. And what a mess our ancestors kindly left on our hands.
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Thanks, Sharon. it’s hard to say some things in 100 words or less. So many scars left by that time.
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I absolutely agree. Without the provided context I think the story is not nearly as interesting. I’m not a big fan of romance, but I’d make an exception for this one!
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I agree with Newpillowbook, the first paragraph tells me her father is big on the Confederacy. Without it, Andrew being a Yankee has no significance. Dad is going to crap his pants (if he’s still alive) when his daughter runs off to New York to marry a Yankee. Good job, Rochelle.
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A black Yankee at that. 😉
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Strong emotions. Good for us readers they went from loss and grief to hope realised and love reunited.
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What a story! And what an uncertain future lies before Amelia and Andrew. I would guess all of your readers would like to see more–most provocative subject matter.
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I really felt you with this. So few words for such a big story.
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beautiful! your 100 words spoke like 1000 to me!
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Thank you, Garry. Glad you liked it.
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A great story, with a happy ending (albeit lots of troubles ahead, I’m sure).
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This is a wonderful story. I love stories from this time period. You really packed a lot into it and it was seamless, simple, romantic, and gripping all at once!
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In case you didn’t read the comments section on my blog, I LOVE this story! 🙂
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Though the content is not quite my cup of tea, I can admire the skill in which it is crafted. I felt that, within the confines of 100 words, you’ve built a complete world. Now all you have to do is fill in the details for a full blown novel. I must say, though, that the only time a woman devoured MY bronze lips I almost ended up with stitches. I am now married to her…
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I forgot to thank you for the belly laugh, Paul. I read your comment on my iPhone in a spot where it would not have been acceptable to have an outburst. I’m still chuckling though. 😀
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I’m glad you got a belly laugh from my pain. It’s all true, by the way. Aah, to have that passion once again….
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I am Happy she didn’t lose him to, great story, I am number 55.
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I don’t know. I think this is concisely and beautifully written, but I think I might agree that the first paragraph is unnecessary here. The fact that there are slave quarters mentioned in the second paragraph would indicate which side Amelia’s family was on. Maybe if Andrew had been in the first paragraph somehow, it might seem more unified to me.
I do love it overall, and I do think the first paragraph’s material definitely enhances the story; I just feel like it could be more specifically connected.
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Beautifully told tale. Richly layered. Thoroughly enjoyed it!
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This is a sweet love story although there ever-after will be fraught with problems I am sure. Great job!
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You used the prompt well! Set the mood and the setup just right..
Very good work!
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