Every Friday authors from around the world gather here to share their 100-words and offer constructive crit and encouragement to each other. This creates a wonderful opportunity for free reading of very fresh fiction! Readers are encouraged to comment as well.
As always a special thanks to Madison Woods’ help in making the transition less challenging.
Writers:
- Depending on your preference, leave your blog link in the comment section or use the linkz tool (or both ;)). My story follows for those who’d rather not read it before writing their own.
- If your blog requires multiple steps for visitors to leave comments, see if you can simplify it. If you can disable CAPTCHA, please for the sake of our writerly nerves, disable it. It’s frustrating to have to leave a DNA sample, your blood type and your shoe size just to leave a comment. (So I exaggerate. But hopefully you get the picture).
- Challenge yourself to keep stories to 100 words. (If you don’t you won’t be flogged or forced to walk the plank.
Copyright-Ted Strutz
*****
***CIRCLE IN A SPIRAL***
Nathan loved fairs and amusement parks. He’d coax Jeanette onto roller coasters and then laugh so loud at her terror others would turn and smile.
Eight months ago a roadside bomb exploded in Afghanistan.
“Presumed dead—no remains found.”
Nothing was the same. She went to the park with her sister but greasy odors and the pungent crowd suffocated her.
Then, from the shadows, a marine balanced on his one leg, reached for her with a prosthetic hand.
“I’m half a man, Jeanette. I can’t—”
She laughed so loud others turned and smiled.
“Nathan! Shut up and kiss me.”
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
Your story took an unexpected turn!
This could be the start of a beautiful love story.
But I am curious, he can’t do what now?
I mean, I hope not what it seems!
And I love this prompt! Don’t know what I am going to do with it.
Another great challenge this week! Thanks.
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Hi Parul,
Wow the prompt went live before I did this morning. And yes, he still can. 😉
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Dear Rochelle,
What he’s done will make him 100% more of a man than all the rest. Stood his ground when the SHTF and gave his all for honor, duty and the men and women he fought with. He deserves a woman like Jeanette, who sees past the superficial to the man within.
A wonderful story from the driver. Thanks.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
That’s exactly where this story comes from. Those men and women deserve our utmost respect and gratitude. I never miss the opportunity to thank a Vet.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Are there any early bird prizes? 🙂
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Brilliantly crafted and a lovely, warming story to boot!
I didn’t think I would be easily inspired by this picture – but then I found my hook 🙂 Thanks for the early prompt, Rochelle. The timing’s helped Ron and I quite a bit. 🙂
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Thanks, Joanna. I’m looking forward to your offerings. So many different time zones represented in this group, aren’t there? Glad the timing helped.
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Beautifully done…
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Rochelle, I am one of the ones who don’t like to see any stories before writing my own, for fear others’ creativity will throw a cloak over my own and bundle it away to destinations unknown. For that reason, might I appeal for you to not include your own story title? Now I’ve got “Circle in a Spiral” hanging off of the photo and whispering little things in my ear . . . 😉
Thank you, again, SO MUCH, for taking on this task!
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Sorry, Cindy. I’m not sure about not including my title. Madison usually did, I believe. I can put the link ahead of the story next time, though. I suppose I could put Friday Fictioneers in the title spot each week. 😉
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Have checked with Madison…she said she posted the date as her link. Since I don’t want to mess up the link for this week, I’ll follow suit. Hope my title doesn’t influence people too much. But hey, Windmills of Your Mind was a great song wasn’t it?
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Yes, that’s a great title from one of my favourite songs of all time. Nice one Rochelle, and a timely reminder about those who gave this and more. Well done
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And here I am thanking you 6 years after the fact, Sandra. I’m appalled at the comments I didn’t reply to then. And I’m so persnickety about it now. Oy.
Shalom from the past,
Rochelle
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Doug’s comment nailed my sentiment as well. You set the bar really high this week. This was outstanding. I’m proud just to ride on the same bus with you 🙂
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And I’m sure you’ll rise to the occasion, Russell. You always do. Thanks for your generous compliment.
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I love it – from beginning to end. Great job!
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So early.. But what a story you are giving.
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What a beautiful story!
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Weird! (Not your story). I’ve been trying all day to see if the prompt was up and now it appears it’s been up for some time. Lovely, lovely story and I agree with Doug that they deserve one another. Hopefully my brain will come up with something tomorrow other than whether the rain will ever stop so my house and yard can dry out. 🙂
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Hi Janet,
My page actually went live before I did yesterday. I’d scheduled ahead but neglected to set the time zone so I don’t know what time it happened. I had three comments waiting for me two hours before I thought I’d set it. Such is my relationship with technology.
I look forward to your story whenever you’re able. I totally understand why you might’ve been otherwise preoccupied this week. 😉
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HI Rockstar ~ A lovely tribute to another “wounded warrior” and hero. In addition to your unique stories, are your titles. They always surprise me. I just saw the photo, therefore no early bird posting for me.
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Hi Lora,
T’would seem you’ve had “other things” on your mind this week. Glad you liked my story. And so glad you’re safe!!!!
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I liked this a lot, Rochelle, and absolutely loved the emotional tone of the contrast between Jeanette’s perception of the fair with Nathan and the fair with her sister – how it almost sickens her without him. It struck me as a little odd, though, for Nathan – who is presumed dead – to show up for the first time at the fair, of all places. Did he and Jeanette’s sister plan this reunion? Nice echo of the fear and laughter of roller coasters in the story’s ending.
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One can only say so much in 100 words and make them count. No doubt there’s a lot more to be said in the way of explanation. This is the Readers Digest version. In my mind I think that Jeanette’s sister has something to do with their meeting.
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That is the downside of 100 words! 🙂 (Also probably why my Angelique comes across as pure evil to some people!) I like the idea of Jeanette’s sister helping out… Otherwise it seems like a chance encounter when he should have rushed right home to his grieving sweetheart. I really loved your story, just felt like I needed to know why he hadn’t called her as soon as possible. If he was planning a big surprise at their “place,” it makes perfect sense. I could see Jeanette dragging her feet while her sister urges her to get ready and drags her to the fair, whining, complaining, moping…
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If I were going to expand this I’d also have him write a “Dear Jeanette” letter. That by the time they went to the amusement part, she knew he was alive but wanted nothing to do with her. Alas, it was only 100 words.
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What an unexpected take on the prompt and I’m sure there will be many that recognise the emotional turmoil that such change can bring when it’s forced on you in this way. Beautiful turn of events and well written.
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Your story gave me chills, Rochelle. Laughter wasn’t what I expected for her reaction, but it brought the story around to a nice circle. I’m glad my love doesn’t have to leave the base out there but he’s been on medic transport duty for others who have. Even kids (Afghani) encounter IED’s and lose so much before they come on base for emergency care and transport. So sad. Our men and women put all on the table in the line of duty and we as a nation don’t often offer much support. Great story.
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I liked how this jumped in time to tell the whole story while sending us on an emotional roller coaster. Love the opening paragraph. It really brings the fair feeling in, then shows such a contrast with the greasy odors and pungent crowd suffocating her. I’m glad they found each other again.
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To say I was flabbergasted would be an understatement! I thought that photo looked familiar. I was thinking the Tug Boat. It is an interesting choice, Rochelle, and I think will produce some very interesting stories. Your story is certainly touching, with an important and loving message.
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p.s. I wrote a memoir, and not fiction this week. I hope everyone enjoys reading…
http://tedstrutz.com/2012/11/01/friday-fictioneers-road-trip/
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Hi Ted,
You did tell me to help myself ;). Surprise! I found this one interesting. Should I have let you know or asked first?
Glad you liked my story.
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Hi Rochelle,
A both sad and happy story, but you gave us hope at the end! ron
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I’m glad he made it back. I expected the story to turn out much darker but it didn’t. I especially like your description of the fair when she thought he was gone for good.
Nice story-and nice photo!
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a very romantic set up.
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I love a good romance, Rich. Thanks for commenting.
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Lovely, Rochelle. Your story is so touching. I’m trying my hand at this for the first time after a strong push from our friend Ted. Looking forward to getting to know everyone.
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A sweet little love story.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/a-ghosts-tale/
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What a love story. Sadly, we scarcely get involved with our war veteran in my part of the world. But, it’s an interesting take on life. Well done!
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Aw, gotta love a love story!
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I love a poignant story with a happy ending. Relevant and good use of the prompt! Here’s my link:
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Interesting way you used the laughter here to ease each other’s insecurities. Nice story.
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Excellent roller coaster of a story. Well done.
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Hi Rochelle, Thanks again for hosting this! I just posted my first effort in a while – ihttp://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/11/02/flash-friday-fiction-14/
I enjoyed yours and loved the title.
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Love the story! Mine’s not so nice.
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Sappy and gooey. Awesome reunion tale. A great way to make a tragedy positive. Thanks for commenting on my. It feels so good to be back.
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I wondered about that “no remains found line” – a cool take on the prompt, and an effective twist. Nice one!
Brian (I added mine to the inlinkz, but it couldn’t hurt to be redundant, right? 🙂 http://pinionpost.com/2012/11/02/toys-that-fly/)
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What a great story, Rochelle! You really take us through an emotional roller coaster – I guess that’s appropriate for the setting, isn’t it?
Here’s my tale – http://newpillowbook.wordpress.com/2012/11/02/friday-fictioneers-at-the-fair/.
BTW – I’m very grateful to hear that we won’t be forced to walk the plank if we go over 100 words, but will we be politely requested to dive off?? Oh well, I’m only three words over this time! 😉
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What else would you ride at amusement park, Sharon? Although my last one was at Coney Island in 1999. I’ve had not desire to ride another. Glad you liked my story. Heading over to read yours.
Three words? I’ll have to put you on probation. 😉
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My first Friday Fictioneers entry. Be gentle with me. I’m not sure of exact word count. I’m at a new job and got this done on the sly 😉
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Welcome… I’ll go read your sneaky story… and on a New job no less…
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Another great story Rochelle. Although losing a leg and hand was traumatic enough, he had not lost his sweetheart, obviously. A happy ending and a saved relationship. (I am taking a third week off from FF). Been too busy to work on the FF stories but working on other projects. Keep up the good work as a writer and FF director.
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Awwww, that was lovely. Thanks for the HEA.
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I love your last line, especially, Rochelle. There’s a sweetness for you. Nice job!
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My first Friday Fictioneers submission: http://wp.me/pT3BE-Ah Now I can go read what others have written 🙂
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reading that is like getting punched in the gut. Wow — I hope it works out.
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Hi Bill,
Compliments don’t get much better than that. 😉 thanks.
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Rochelle….I managed to get away from the TV news coverage for a bit to focus on a story based on Ted’s wonderful photo. I’m #46.
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A beautiful story Rochelle.
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Thick with dialogue. Like that. So much info in a small number of words. 🙂
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A love story with a twist, and an interesting take on the photo Rochelle.
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Got in a little late this week. The follow was messed up somehow.
Anyway, good story. I liked the back and forth so that you didn’t know until the very last line which way it was going to go.
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2012/11/02/friday-fictioneers-6/
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Rochelle ~ For some odd reason, I cannot access Ted Strutz’s story. Tried numerous times. Do me a favor? Thank him for his delightful photo and story. Thanks.
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Very touching story, but it isn’t polite to say “shut up!” I hope Nathan took her to task on that one. Thanks for being a “benevolent” dictator…
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Well, Perry, there’s a place for polite and there’s this instance. I just don’t think Nathan’s too concerned about her delivery. 😉
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Such emotion in this story. Great job.
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