8 February 2013

Published February 6, 2013 by rochellewisoff

HEY KIDS, WHAT TIME IS IT?  IT’S FRIDAY FICTIONEERS TIME! 

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

THE RULES:

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**Please exercise DISCRETION  when commenting on a story! Be RESPECTFUL.**

Should someone have severe or hostile differences of opinion with another person it’s my hope that the involved parties would settle their disputes in private. 

***************

🙂 My story will follow the prompt for those who might be distracted by reading a story before writing their own . I enjoy your comments. 🙂

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copyright-Rich Voza

copyright-Rich Voza


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**Genre: Speculative Fiction**

Word Count: 135

A friend who couldn’t find a use for his 35 extra words generously loaned them to me. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t allow myself to be coerced into breaking my own rules. No apologies.

FLIGHT STATUS

            “Flight delayed.” Amelia snarled and closed the US Airways website. “Damn business trips!”

            Memories of their argument right before Chase left gnawed at her. She regretted her spiteful words.

            “I hate your job!”

            “You like the money.”

            “You’re never home. Your daughters don’t even know their father.”

            “Next time, babe, you and the girls are coming with me.”

            “What if—?”

            “‘What if’ never happens.” He gathered her into his arms. “Flying’s safer than driving on the freeway.”

            Five hours ago he’d texted from Phoenix. “Just a little turbulence. Nothing to worry about.”

            “Mommy?” Four-year-old Katy tiptoed into the room. “Daddy sat on my bed.”

            “It was only a dream, Kitten.”

            “No it wasn’t. He talked to me!”

            “What’d he say?”

            “He’s sorry he can’t come home.” 

            Her phone chimed. Message from Chase.

            “Dearest Amelia…” 

.

.

.

 

Chase's last message

Jet Crash with houses.

 

BASH

TFOA

150 comments on “8 February 2013

    • I realize that was a bit cryptic but I’ll blame it on crawling out of bed (again) while trying to do it. I like how you and Doug worked your two stories together, showing us both sides of what everyone hopes will never happen when a loved one flies. Brought back bad memories of my s-i-l calling us and telling us to turn on the TV on 9/11. I guess I took it for granted that you’d know I thought it was well-written, as it always is.

      janet

      Like

  • This is just great! Friday Fictioneers 100 Word Flash Fiction is going to Hell in a Handbasket. First, one writer only writes 65 words. Then another writer thinks it’s an open invitation to use the 35 words, he didn’t use, on their story!

    Like

  • Aloha from volcano Hawaii.
    The writers in this blog never cease to amaze me.
    You opened my eyes to many new feelings which is what you’re writing is supposed to do. Thank you for the eye-opening and mindbending words that all of you exquisitely post every week.
    Aloha Ken

    Like

  • In the past four years, we have had zero–zero–fatalities in the U.S. in commercial aviation, a tribute to my former colleagues at the Federal Aviation Administration. You would have to travel 24-hours a day, every day, for a 1,000 years before you’d become an aviation fatality. Aviation is safer than driving on the freeway and always will be, given the standards to which personnel and aircraft are held by aviation safety professionals, within the government and in the airlines.

    Like

    • Dear Maggie,
      As a person who loves to fly I appreciated the statistics you felt compelled to share here. However the operative word here is “FICTION”. How many in this group write about vampires? I haven’t met up with a real one, have you? The purpose of this challenge is to share our imaginations and writing with one another.
      Thanks for sharing your expertise. I’ll not defend my story one word more.
      Shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • Ugh, Rochelle. That’s how I felt reading this, which means you did it well. The text message was almost too much (in a good way).

    On a side note, I have an imaginary friend who has given me extra words on various occasions. 😉

    Like

  • Holy CRAP! Ya just HAD to go and do it, didn’t ya? Kill off someone!!!

    But, OH, the QUALITY here! Congratulations! You made it happen!!! Really good story and good extras with it. Makes me happy!!!! 😀

    Like

  • Kudos on the duet. I’ve been studying Rich’s photo wondering where I’m going to find some humor. These sad stories make it even more of an uphill battle.

    Very touching stories. You guys set the bar extremely hight this week.

    Like

  • Hi Rochelle, I wish I would’ve read your story earlier before posting mine. I wrote on the same lines, meaning the crash.. Your story dealt with the emotions of the couple really well! So well written. A poignant read and that text message is so moving. Let me see if I can think of another story to post.. 🙂

    Like

  • I love how you and doug worked together. He made me write mine early (it’ll post on Friday as usual) just so I could read these, and I’m not sorry I did. Well, except that my husband flies on a business trip tomorrow, sooo…. Maybe I’d better not read the read of this week’s stories!
    Great work from you both, moving and painful. My favourite detail is the nickname for the little girl – it takes style to include things like that.

    Like

    • Dear Jen,
      Thank you for your glowing compliments. There aren’t enough words (certainly more than 100) for what a wonderful experience this was. I’m looking forward to reading yours. You’ve never disappointed me. 😉
      Shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • A very good story. You made it seem real. The pictures and phones added to its credibility, and the messages and your dialogue made it convincing. Two pieces fitting together in one fell swoop.

    Like

  • I think it’s collaboration week…The whole way you two put it all together is pretty darn slick. The photo work and the cell phones…very sweet. Like your new background as well…Seems that old phone of your has gone digital…it’s calls from the beyond. Great job .
    Tom

    Like

    • Hi Tom,
      I was getting too many wrong numbers on the old phone. Time to update. Besides I can’t et pictures of my adorable granddaughter on the old one.
      Glad you liked the story. It was indeed a labor of love.
      Shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • I loved the way you and Doug collaborated on this week’s fiction. You really pulled at the heart strings. As I mentioned on Doug’s post, it makes me a little uneasy in that my husband flies a lot – four to six times this week alone. Despite that, you created an emotional work of art. The text in that picture is the kind of text no one wants to ever get. And we heard about so many of them on 911. Wonderfully done, Rochelle. And the supernatural element… they say the young are more open to it, haven’t closed their minds to the possibilities yet.

    Like

    • Dear Debra,
      I do believe in the supernatural and this scenario is based on my husband’s experience when his own father was killed in a plane crash. (Not a jetliner). Glad to do my part in tugging your heartstrings. I found myself tearing up more than once in the midst of the process.
      shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

    • Personally, Perry, I enjoy flying which is odd from someone afraid of heights. All hoops they make you jump through in airports aside, I’d rather fly than drive. With offspring on both coasts and a point in between flying is the travel method of choice.
      As for linking with Doug, it was an indescribable experience.
      shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • Sometimes team work brings out the most memorable stories. Perhaps they teach us a lesson along, the way. Unity, always outshines, because it’s how God intended. We all have room to grow. So I look for new blossoms everyday. Friday Fictioneers- we are something special!

    I love the photos, it really gives us a visual. Great take.

    Blessings,
    Shenine

    Like

    • Dear Shenine,
      This team effort is very dear to me. And yes Friday Fictioneers is a special group, full of diversity in point of view and beliefs that one would do well to respect when leaving a comment.
      shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

        • You didn’t offend me personally. However there are those who read that won’t appreciate the “religious” overtones. As facilitator and my page being FF Central I have to exercise discretion and make sure others do as well. I hope this makes sense and doesn’t offend you.
          Shalom,
          Rochelle

          Like

          • I wasn’t aware I would offend others, or the ideal of not being able to mention my Creator on here. Your point taken. I do not understand, but I will respect your role as facilitator! As I do not wish to offend anyone. Just sharing my heart.

            Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

            Shenine

            Like

    • Thank you so much, Iris. This global community is one of my addictions. I joined in April and then inherited Friday Fictioneers in October when our founder, Madison Woods, went on to concentrate on bigger and better things.
      The story collaboration was something new for Doug and me. We’re pretty tickled with the outcome.

      Like

  • i’m following the flow of the dialogue, and there’s a “what if” in the middle that i think is in the wrong place. can you double check that? i don’t know if the alternation goes with the right person. or i’m reading it wrong.

    this is brilliant how the two of collaborated on both ends of this.

    Like

  • We get so comfortable with technology we don’t think about the dangers. I like the collaboration and both sides of the story. At first I didn’t get the connection, but now I enjoy the idea.

    Like

  • A really fantastic job between you and Doug here Rochelle. It really struck me that your MC is at home regretting cross words, but he has left them behind and at the end it just comes down to love. Masterful writing.

    Like

    • Dear Anne,
      I think they made up before he left. Hence the line “he gathered her into his arms.” Still there would be regrets I think, on her part, that they fought at all. Thanks you for your compliments.
      Shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • This piece is just an excellent job of writing, Rochelle. You caught everything perfectly — the physical events — the emotions — the shifting perspective from her to him, to her, to daughter, to her, to him — and then left us with her and what we HAD TO KNOW she was feeling. Just great. I’m going to read Doug’s (I always like his stuff), but I’m going to take time to savor this individual story first. I’ll visit him tomorrow.

    I also really like your new background.

    Like

    • Dear Sandra,
      Your comments are like trophies.To have my work “savored” is the epitome of praise. It also makes me want to aim higher.
      Glad you like my background. It happened quite by accident. But that’s another story.
      Shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • An extraordinarily clever collaboration between you and Doug. Love them both. I’m so glad I read Doug’s first and then I got those tingles down my spine all over again when I realised where yours was going. Standalone they’re both brilliant but together they’re extraordinary.

    Like

    • Dear El,
      You read the stories in the right order, then. When I read Doug’s first draft I shivered. I was thrilled when he agreed to collaborate. The goal was to write two standalone stories that were joined. It makes me happy to read that for you this worked.
      Still laughing at your story. I’ll never see a tea kettle quite the same way.
      Shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

    • Scroll up and read Maggie’s statistics. Personally I love to fly which is kinda weird since I’m afraid heights. Can’t get on a Ferris wheel or ride a hot air balloon, but love to travel by air.
      I understand about the husband. I’ve been married to mine for over 41 years. Thank you for your compliments, Sarah.

      Like

  • I read Doug’s part of this story as I was getting ready to fly home this week. Not a good preflight read’. I’m glad I read yours safely here on the ground. Two parts of the same story, deftly told, with chiling images. Kudos to you both!

    Like

  • I queried Doug on the possibility of his forming a new writing team with his son–with you in there, too, the three of you’ve got all the bases covered. Great stories y’all have posted this week.

    Like

    • Dear Sarah,
      Thank you for your kind words. I think Chase and Amelia kissed and made up before he left. But still her angry words will haunt her because she’ll look back on that as having wasted precious time.
      Shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • Dear Rochelle,
    I just read Doug’s story. This is brilliant, you two! What a wonderful collaborative effort. I applaud you. I thought Doug’s story was powerful. But together, you have the full dimension and experience of it. This is great!
    Amy

    Like

    • Yes. For two days we worked on getting the text to the right word count to just fill the screen. We took pictures and sent them to each other. One day we spent three hours getting everything the way we wanted and then he changed his story the next day which meant new pictures. He staged the crash in his garage. It was an experience that will stay with me for a long time.

      Like

      • I imagine it would. It’s a moving story. Especially the bit about daddy sitting on the end of the bed. That truly made me go cold because my sister had that from our granddad when she was close to death. She got better

        Like

        • It’s actually based on my husband’s experience. The night his father died in a plane crash he appeared to my husband, whether it was real or a dream, he’s not certain. But he came into Jan’s room, sat on the end of the bed and just shook his head.

          Like

          • I believe that a memory can manifest itself other just after someone dies or when someone is close to death. My cousin saw our nan when he had hypothermia and was in the middle of a lake after he had lost his oars. He said all he could remember was her saying “help coming” Wasn’t long after that when a rescue boat arrived for him

            Like

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