1 March 2013

Published February 27, 2013 by rochellewisoff

Will March come in like a lion or a lamb? No matter. It’s a new month to gather and write. So bring out the pencils, the pens, desktops, laptops and any other implements of construction. Let your imagination soar as you wrestle one hundred words into submission because it’s time for

FRIDAY FICTIONEERS!

**We set a new record last week with 105 postings!**

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

THE RULES:

  • Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments.
  • MAKE SURE YOUR LINK  IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH FICTION. (Should you find that you’ve made an error you can delete by clicking the little red ‘x’ that should appear under your icon. Then re-enter your URL. (If there’s no red x email me at Runtshell@aol.com. I can delete the wrong link for you).Thanks to Blogspot bloggers for disabling their  CAPTCHAs.  
  • Make note in your blog if you’d prefer not to have constructive criticism. 
  • REMINDER:
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**Please exercise DISCRETION  when commenting on a story! Be RESPECTFUL.**

Should someone have severe or hostile differences of opinion with another person it’s my hope that the involved parties would settle their disputes in private. 

***************

:)  My story will follow the prompt for those who might be distracted by reading a story before writing their own . I enjoy your comments. :)

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This week’s prompt comes from Beth Carter who took a first prize with it at the Ozarks Writers League photo contest in February.  Congratulations, Beth! 

Copyright - Beth Carter

Copyright – Beth Carter




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Genre: Literary Fiction

Word count: 100

PACK RAT

            Boxes overflowing with rusted ten-penny nails, camping equipment and car parts cluttered the garage. Judith hated the chaos, but other things got in the way of Greg’s promise to organize until the day he deserted her.  

            It took months to sort through the cardboard jungle.

            Then she came across a crate with “Judith” painted on the lid. In it she found her class ring, his first speeding ticket and a bottle of cognac—same vintage they’d shared on their honeymoon.

            A note in his uneven scrawl read,

            “Damned cancer. Wish I were there to toast forty of my happiest years.” 

115 comments on “1 March 2013

      • I thought at first he left her. It became obvious at the end that he had died, but I also could read that he left when the cancer got bad to spare her. Lots of ways the story could go… I always like that in a story. Interesting things the things he had saved. Her class ring she gave him when they started going steady. She had forgotten all about it.

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  • awww such a sad, touching story. the end really surprised me. for a while i thought he was a terrible husband. but in the end, he turned out to be a great guy…what a loss.

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    • Dear Kim,
      A friend of ours passed away almost two years ago. She was an eclectic kind of gal and had lots of knick-knacks to go through. Lots of memories. Bittersweet indeed. Thanks for your kind comments.
      Shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • at least he had loving thoughts to organize…and probably would have, given more time. love your story as it reminds us not to procrastinate in this short, unpredictable life of ours. 🙂 thank you, Rochelle. ♥

    Like

  • A very sad job to do; that of ‘cleaning up’… Your images were wonderful; very wistful and heartfelt…
    I’m ‘joining in’… This is my first 100 worder. Not such an easy thing to do, I’m finding.. 🙂

    Like

  • Reblogged this on Dad's American Beauty and commented:
    This is my first time to Reblog and I thought in honor of the new month and season approaching, I’d share this Friday Fictioneers Challenge. This week’s photo is particularly intricate and could take a writer in a limitless number of directions…Enjoy!

    Like

  • oh, the poor man. poor everyone involved. well done.

    this line, “Judith hated the chaos but other things…” you could use a comma after “chaos.” if you feel like it.

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  • This is SO good, Rochelle. Bittersweet. I, too, thought he was going to be a creep and you tripped me! Well done. Thanks again for using my photo. I can’t wait to read all of the stories. Hop over to mine. I wrote TWO!

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  • Touching, Rochelle. I understand it to mean the husband died and then she later came across the crate. How very sad. Sometimes I think when this happens the real grieving begins. Well done. Such a well put together story. Shalom – Amy

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    • Sorry, Perry. Greg’s not coming back. To tell the truth I’m not even sure if he left or not, but he did die. As much as I enjoy a happy ending this one wasn’t to be. Thanks for commenting.

      Shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • Dear Rochelle,

    I am in the process of cleaning out my garage and organizing everything. I’ve run across treasure and reminders and notes to self. No Brandy yet.

    Loved your story for its simplicity and the reminder to cherish those we love while we have them. Always a pleasure reading your work.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    • Dear Doug,

      As a writer it’s nice to hear when I’ve, either inadvertently or intentionally, struck a cord of truth. ;).
      “I’ll call her tomorrow.” “One of these days we’ll have coffee.” etc. And, as in Greg’s case,”I’ll organize my garage next month.”
      Thanks for commenting. I’m happy to know that you enjoy my work as I look forward to reading yours. Good to C. you back.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • HI Rochelle
    Clever to make us think that he had truly deserted her, and then find that it was the cancer that took him away. A powerful story full of sadness. Really enjoyed this.

    Like

  • There are so many of these letters written every year. I have been active with the Relay For Life event in our town for a decade, but the need is just so great. You evoked some emotions with this one Rochelle.

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    • Dear Joe,
      I evoked some of my own emotions. For me there should be truth woven into the threads of fiction. And this weaving hits close to home for the author. Thank you for your kind comments and validation.
      shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • Very perceptive story, Rochelle. It can,indeed, illogically, seem like ‘desertion’ and anger towards the sufferer does play a part.Even just the threat of the possibility of ‘desertion’. I know this too well. Powerful stuff. And it was good how you manipulated my emotions with the use of the one word: ‘deserted’. Ann

    Like

    • Dear Ann,
      Anger is a natural part of the grief process. I remember after my mother passed away being angry at her for leaving me to deal with my dad who called me every day in his loneliness. (Now I miss him as well and would love to have him call).
      Thank you for your kind comments.
      shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • That’s a shocker! And I can sort of sympathize with Greg now…except that I know someone who lost a close relative to cancer that was carefully kept a secret, and being blindsided like that seems to have just made the grief worse. So I’ll give Greg points for good intentions, but not so much for successfully carrying them out.

    Like

    • Dear Sharon,
      I suppose that depends on how you view the story. Did Greg actually leave her to spare her from the pain of watching him die or did she just feel deserted because of his death? Those are the questions that aren’t fully answered in the mind of the author ;).
      But there’s the rub of 100 words.
      Thanks for commenting. .
      shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • That’s heartbreaking, going through a loved one’s belongings and finding such an unexpected and beautiful surprise. I suspected he hadn’t run off, I think most women would have just dumped his stuff if so, but the use of ‘deserted’ put that little bit of doubt in my mind. Lovely story.

    Like

  • And here I was ready to hate Greg when all of a sudden I was whipped around and swerved into really liking him and wanting to shed a tear for Judith.

    Like

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