8 November 2013

Published November 6, 2013 by rochellewisoff
    • WELCOME TO FRIDAY FICTIONEERS. 
    • As always, writers are encouraged to be as innovative as possible with the prompt and 100 word constraints. 

      Henry David Thoreau said it best.

      “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”

      THE CHALLENGE:

      Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)

      THE KEY:

      Make every word count.

      THE RULES:

      • Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments. MAKE SURE YOUR LINK IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH. 
      • InLinkz has seen fit to change the format of the link box and automatically pastes the story title into the second box. IT WOULD BE HELPFUL IF YOU WOULD DELETE IT AND TYPE IN YOUR NAME SO THE REST OF US KNOW WHO THE AUTHOR IS.  Thank you. 
      • While our name implies “fiction only” it’s perfectly Kosher to write a non-fiction piece as long as it meets the challenge of being a complete story in 100 words. 
        • ***PLEASE MAKE NOTE IN YOUR BLOG IF  YOU PREFER NOT TO RECEIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.*** 
        • REMINDER: This page is “FRIDAY FICTIONEERS CENTRAL” and is NOT the place to promote political or religious views. Also, you are responsible for the content of your story and policing comments on your blog. You have the right to delete any you consider offensive.

        **Please exercise DISCRETION when commenting on a story! Be RESPECTFUL.**

        Should someone have severe or hostile differences of opinion with another person it’s my hope that the involved parties would settle their disputes in private.

      • Like us on Facebook
        • ;) My story follows the photo and link tool. I enjoy honest comments and welcome constructive criticism. :D
        • Shalom,

                     Rochelle

      • Copyright-Al Forbes

        Copyright-Al Forbes

get the InLinkz code

Genre: Literary Fiction

Word Count: 97

MERCURY RISES

            Of all the gods, Hermes, the messenger sent from Heaven to visit Earth, fascinated me the most. My adoration took wing the moment we met. How had I, a mere mortal, been so fortunate?

            We played hide-and-seek in the sunlight and danced when there wasn’t any music. Once he spirited away my favorite necklace and hid it. I seethed until he returned it, twined around the stems of a fragrant bouquet.

            Nyx casts her shadow across our efflorescent valley.  

            From his IV jungle of tubes and catheters, my Hermes whispers with a breathless rasp, “Mom, it’s time.”

129 comments on “8 November 2013

  • Rochelle,
    it’s funny but I was about to call my story Mercury Rising. I’m glad now that I went in a different direction. I love the intertwining of real life and mythology in this, plus all the subtle little details, like “my adoration took wing” and the mention of Nyx. Beautiful, beautiful work.
    -David

    Like

  • I am not sure I can handle the sadness when your tales are so tender! Am I the only one!!? Really a story that touches the gut carefully, slowly, turning everything over a few times…dear me..dear me.

    Like

    • Dear Managua,

      I hate to smile at your sadness but I can’t help myself. This was a bit of a departure for me and I’m happy that it seems to have worked. Thank you for your kind comments and compliments.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

    • Dear Patricia,

      It’s a high compliment to have my story called a work of art. Life is about joy and sorrow, isn’t it? You can’t seem to have one without the other. Thank you for your kind words.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Evil…this pic just reeks evil– Orwellian evil….hmmm, gonna have to stew a little over this one. Good time to go in and stir the apple butter on the stove. Right now, it looks like a witch’s pot of goo. I’ll get back with a story today!

    Like

  • I love the mix of myth and reality, Rochelle. The subtle mention of Nyx (a lesser known goddess) was nice too. Your stories often to seem to have a bittersweet ending…they tug at my heartstrings.

    Like

    • Dear Lindaura,

      And life is often like that, isn’t it? So we look for the beauty in the sadness and learn to accept. Yes? Thank you for dropping by. Perhaps I’ll write something more cheerful next week. 😉

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Dear Rochelle,

    I can see her daydreaming about running with her young son, delighting in his youth and innocence. Only to be thrust back to reality with the incessant bleeping of a heart monitor and an array of other medical equipment. We feel for this woman because we are mothers. How devastating to lose a child. Not only to death, but the ravages of illness and injury beforehand.

    Love, Renee

    Like

  • What a heartbreaker, Rochelle. You have captured the curious love affair between mother and child beautifully, and left us gasping at the end.
    (Mine’s up but the linky thing isn’t working right now, so I’ll try again with linkng it later)

    Like

    • Dear Jen,

      Sorry the link has been such a pain this week. They must still be working out the bugs. (And I pay for this?)

      The joy of holding that little one for the first time doesn’t diminish over time. You summed up my intent eloquently and made me smile. Thank you.

      shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Interesting story, Rochelle. I had to read it a few times. Lovely, in a sense, but so sad, the voice of the Mother.

    I had to Google ‘Nyx’, although I was sure of her purpose. I got a video game character called Nyx the Assassin. Then the stock exchange. Finally, I got the Greek Protogenos of night. And yes, once again I learned something from one of your stories. Seems a weekly occurrence… Thanks! I’ll see what I can do with this one.

    Like

  • sorry Linky is not liking me. My title loaded up on the link (ughh)
    Rochelle, a beautiful intermingling of fantasy and reality. I think the imagination aids to lessen pain. I never got “used” to losing a patient as a peds nurse – each child is like family!

    Like

    • Dear Leslie,

      As a mime artist, I was once hired to perform for a children’s oncology unit. It’s one of the most wonderfully heartbreaking things I’ve ever done. Kudos to you. It takes a special person to be a peds nurse. You have won my undying gratitude and admiration.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

    • Dear Mike,

      I’m happy you caught the title’s significance. A good friend of mine told me that the right title can add another 100 words to a story. I’m a firm believer in this. Thank you for your kind comments.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • What a beautiful tapestry of life’s ups and downs!I admire the way you transport the reader into different time periods and the transition back to the present is so smooth,that there is hardly a bump!Excellent portrayal of a young,mischievous and restless spirit of Hermes in a young child and the sudden heart-breaking end!Amazing piece Rochelle-you really are an inspiration:-)

    Like

  • There is no doubt about it, Rochelle: You are the expert when it comes to embarking your reader on what he thinks is one kind of journey and then landing him at a destination he could never have expected. Even though I know you are so good at this and just might do it to us again, I’m still never adequately prepared for the punch. This is so powerful I’m still rocking from the impact of it as I write this.

    And the language and imagery are beautiful.

    Like

    • Dear Sandra,

      I’m reeling from the impact of your comment. I’m working on shrinking my head as I type. 😉

      I’m guessing as an English teacher of a certain age that you’re familiar with O. Henry. He remains on the A list of my favorite authors. His endings always take one by surprise with savoir faire.

      Thank you for sailing by and leaving my smiles in your wake.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

      • Yes, I’ve been a fan of O. Henry for many years. And I certainly see a resemblance to his style in some of your work. Also you’ve done a piece or two that made me thing of Edgar Allen Poe. ( I think I mentioned it to you at one time.) It’s quite apparent that your muse hangs out in elevated company!

        Like

    • Dear Cherry,

      Thank you for your kind comments. What mother hasn’t been upset with a child for a possession and playing with it? A natural rite of passage I think. Then, later we realize it was only a thing. Glad you liked.

      shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Oh Rochelle, such a beautiful layering of myth and meaning… and then the disbelief at the end as the truth dawned. Your last line was brilliant and poignant… actually too poignant to discuss in terms of art, only in terms of the wrench of pain at the realisation of where you had taken us….

    Like

    • Dear Valerie,

      That you took the time to read my story is no small thing. That you liked it and paid such high compliments delights me.

      This was a bit of a departure for me as I’m finding my way as a writer. I’m pleased that it worked.

      Your comments are music to my eyes and trophies for my heart.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Dear Rochelle

    Well,thank goodness the Kleenex were handy!

    A beautiful,hauntingly poignant tale that will, I’m sure, stay with me for a long time.

    I have come to expect a journey into history with your stories, but this time you were right when you said it was something a bit different for you.

    As always a joy to read.

    Take care

    Dee

    Like

  • Rochelle, just flitting in to say I really enjoyed the departure from your usual historical fiction. The photo begs for a mythical story but you tied it deftly into the present as well while still including your trademark edge of sadness.

    janet

    Like

    • Dear Janet,

      Thanks for taking some time from your FF hiatus to comment on my story. 😉

      I did have to do some research in the mythological realm, but I couldn’t quite let my feet leave the ground. Trademark edge of sadness? I rather like that.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • When I wrote my story, the linky took away my photo I have always used, put any new one in sideways and said others taken with the same camera were took big-i had to pick something random, Why is it when sites make “improvements” it is always worse than before?

    Like

    • Dear Brenda,

      And I pay to keep this link tool going. Oy. I agree. They made the changes without consulting me. 😉 I’m sorry you had problems, I’ve had a few challenges of my own with it. Hopefully the bugs will get worked out.

      shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Oh this is a marvelous sad story.. How this take a sad turn from the dreamt joy to start with is excellent.. This was one of the hardest pictures I ever done I think… took me three days to think out, and my wife gave me the idea to turn to Medusa as my muse

    Like

    • Dear Björn,

      Thank you for your compliments. I’m happy you liked my story.

      It wasn’t the easiest prompt we’ve had, was it? But challenges keep our skills honed. Taking your time isn’t a bad thing. I’m more impressed with an author who takes the time to write quality than with one who races to be first to post. 😉 Your wife was right. Thank her for me.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Immortal gods (and goddesses) — conceived and conceiving at the birth of human imagination — illuminate the heart of this mother, and awaken the courage of her too-mortal child.
    Your words evoke a world of wonder and yearning. Thank you !

    Like

  • Speak to me so I know someone's reading me. (Your comments brighten my day.)

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

    Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

    Linda's Bible Study

    Come study God's Word with me!

    Just Writing!

    A place to improve my writing skills, and that's all.

    lindacapple

    Writing from the Soul, Speaking from the Heart

    Real World Magic

    Bringing Visions to Life

    Riverbrat

    Navigating the mountains and valleys of everyday life on the riverbank.

    Our Literary Journey

    Driveling twaddle by an old flapdoodle.

    Saania's diary - reflections, learnings, sparkles

    Life is all about being curious, asking questions, and discovering your passion. And it can be fun!

    Invincible Woman on Wheels

    Conquering the World

    This, that and the other thing

    Looking at life through photography and words

    Kelvin M. Knight

    Reading. Listening. Writing.

    Na'ama Yehuda

    Speech Language Pathologist, Writer, Blogger -- musings, anecdotes, stories, quotes, life lessons and growth

    Diane's Ponderings

    Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

    Penz-o-Paula

    Paula Shablo

    Lost Imperfect Found

    Self-discovery through self-reflection.

    Sarah Potter Writes

    Pursued by the muses of prose, poetry, and art

    Sammi Cox

    Author Aspiring

    Neil MacDonald Author

    A writer's journey

    Autumn Leaves

    For those who enjoy fiction

    Native Heritage Project

    Documenting the Ancestors

    Living In Eternity

    If Eternity Is Forever, Am I There Now?

    Rereading Jane Eyre

    Author Luccia Gray