The following photo is the PROMPT. A few of you may recognize it from three years ago, although for most I think it will be new. Due to a current emergency, I’ll be recuperating from oral surgery by the time this post goes live. Next week will also be a repeat to allow more time to visit with out of town guests. So if I don’t answer your comments right away or comment on your story, you’ll know the reason why. Thanks to all of you for your understanding.
Shalom, Rochelle
PHOTO PROMPT -© Madison Woods
I posted the original version of this story May 11, 2012. I’ve taken the liberty of reworking it. The beauty of writing is that there’s always room to grow. If you’d like to read the original click here.
Genre: Historical Fiction
Word Count: 100
SLEEPWALK
Like a pearl brooch pinned to mottled velvet, the moon shone through a web of tree branches. A desperate voice yelled her name.
It was always the same dream. Kanzie would wake with a scream to everyday shadows and feel relieved by her comfortable darkness.
Then one night she woke up outside. Mississippi air stuck to her skin like a damp cloak. For the first time in twenty years she saw the trees rustling in the wind. Memories seared her.
Why did white-robed ghosts put that rope around her gentle Daddy’s neck? His terror-filled eyes drilled her.
“Kanzie, don’t look.”
.
.
.
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
Phew…
Incredibly powerful tale.
You pack so much into so little once again.
This is a work of art.
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Dear CE,
Your words turn my head and make me smile.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Haunting.. get well soon Rochelle !
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Dear Indrajit,
Thank you on both counts.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Much too hauntingly sad to say beautiful. My heart breaks.
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Dear Joy,
To say it was senseless is to repeat the cliche.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Go live your life!
We will muddle through.
Hurry back.
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Dear Dawn,
It’s a little better today. I appreciate the fact that I can put FF on autopilot. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Sad story..
you take care! Come back soon.
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Dear Lata,
I haven’t left, although I’ll be slow getting around this week.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Even slowed down you run rings around me!
Take a floral bouquet to cheer you up, a pot of chicken soup to heal you, and a Virtual Bouquet of Chickens to cover all bases! (I am stealing this idea from a greeting card- I will have to find out who gets the credit for it.)
B’Shalom,
BobiJo
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Very, very powerful, your story. I find the new version even more powerful, more elegant, than the first one. Get well and have fun with your guests.
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Dear GAH,
Thank you for reading both versions and commenting. The one from three years ago was one of my first ever.
I’m working on the getting well and trying to be patient. My guests are my son and his girlfriend. I’m really looking forward to having them here.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hope you’re feeling better 🙂
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Dear Ruth,
A little better each day.
Thank you and Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wish you a speedy recovery dear. Loved this post.
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Dear Indira,
I’m recovering a little more each day and trying not to be impatient.
Thank you and shalom,
Rochelle
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It was powerful back then, and you’re right. It just grew. Get well soon.
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Dear Sandra,
It’s fun to look back and be encouraged in how far I’ve come which helps me not to be discouraged with how far I have to go. 😉
Working on the get well part.
Thank you and shalom,
Rochelle
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That kicks off with a great metaphor.
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Dear Craig,
Thank you for saying so. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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How powerful your writing is. That one human being could do such a terrible thing to another is beyond the pale. I can sense the pain and terror of your characters.
I lost my father in a motorcycle accident when I was 15 years old. It isn’t the same kind of trauma, but I can relate to this young girl losing her father.
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Dear Illsa,
This is one of the most appalling pieces of American history. We who pride ourselves on being tolerant and accepting.
Thank you for your generous comments and for sharing your own story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Awesome as always, Rochelle. Thoughts and prayers for your recovery!
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Dear Jan,
I’m glad you thought so. It means a lot. Thank you for the comments and the thoughts and prayers.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful story, Rochelle. Well told. I’m so sorry to hear of your emergency. I hope everything is ok. I wish you well with a speedy recovery. I’ll be thinking about you.
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Dear Amy,
I’m pleased you liked my story and I so appreciate the positive comments.
I hesitate to use the word “emergency” in light of how long it took to get the insurance company’s approval. But I also attribute some of that to the surgeon’s office manager’s ineptitude. Another story. At any rate there was bone growing through my gum which also caused an infection. The recovery has been every bit as painful as the surgeon predicted.
😦 Ah well, this will soon be a memory and I’ve been blessed with some good, encouraging friends in FF.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh, my goodness! An infection in the mouth is serious no matter what and this one sounds positively painful. Bone growing through gum…yikes. I hope you’re doing okay and you have some pain meds, if that helps you. You’re such a trooper to come by and read our stories.
With gratitude, your loyal FF Friend, Amy
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Dear Amy,
Interaction with Friday Fictioneers is one of the few things I was able to do last week and on a very limited basis. As the new week begins I’m feeling better. The pain meds were great and so were the four days in bed. Thank you for being a loyal friend. I’m blessed.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful, as usual. Take care of yourself. ☺ Van
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Thank you on both counts, Van.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This is haunting, Rochelle. I never read the original, but this is superb! I love the moon and this photo is so dramatic…
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Dear Lorna,
You can click the link before my story if you want to read the original. No matter, I think the update is better.
Thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Take good care of yourself.
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I’m doing my best, Nelkumi. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Awesome writing, Rochelle. This is among your best pieces. I especially liked this line, “Mississippi air stuck to her skin like a damp cloak.” I’ve been to Mississippi. The air really does that. Great job of keeping us aware and remembering, so we never make the same mistakes again.
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Dear Eric,
I’ve also been to Mississippi. 😉
Thank you for such a wonderful comment, the kind a writer longs to hear.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Get well soon.
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Thank you, Hillary. I’m working on it. 😉
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Rochelle,
this is a masterpiece of descriptive language. I can almost feel the damp night air on my skin. Powerful ending too. Very well done. Enjoy your week.
-David
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Dear David,
Every author loves to receive such a glowing comment.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This is a chilling story! I especially love the phrasing of the first sentence.
I hope you feel better soon, Rochelle!
All the best,
Sohini
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Dear Sohini,
I’m glad you liked my story. it was fun t revisit and rework it.
I’m working on the feeling better part.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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If it’s oral surgery, you may not be able to talk… but you sure as hell are able to write (or rework the original!) Terribly powerful story…
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Dear Dale,
The first couple of days rendered me speechless but I’m able to talk once more. Thank you for such a wonderful comment on my writing and my story. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful again, Rochelle, and interesting to see how a few years changes the writing style. This time I’ll admit that I missed her blindness and the questions that throws up. In both cases, I have to wonder why she finds herself outside … and to hope it is simply sleepwalking as the title suggests. Overall, the writing is smoother this time around though.
Hope you get some R&R and the visitors are easy as well as fun to host
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Dear Jennifer,
Yes, it’s a simple as sleepwalking. 😉 Hm. I tried to be clearer about her blindness this time, ah well, perhaps I’ll write this into a larger story one day.
I’m working on the R&R this week and the visitors are my youngest son and his girlfriend so I don’t have to be too much of an entertainer.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Your story is superb! Poor Kanzie must have looked anyway. Poor child and horrible time in history! Viscous and cowardly bigots and the lowest of low Americans (sorry to call them that – but they are and they are shameful.
Take care of yourself and Get well soon! Nan
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Dear Nan,
You needn’t apologize for calling these bigots what they were and are. No argument from me.
I’m doing the best I can to take care of myself. I didn’t expect oral surgery to take so much out of me…everywhere. You could say my mouth is kicking my butt.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful stuff, Rochelle.
Get well soon so you can have fun with the kids when they come.
Love and hugs,
Marie Gail
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Dear Marie Gail,
This is one of those subjects I’ve always felt strongly about.
As the new week begins, I’m finally feeling human and glad to have had the surgery done. I think the most problematic thing now is that the infection persists. Taking my meds like a good girl and happy to no longer need the heavy duty pain pills.
Shalom with love and hugs back atcha,
Rochelle
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Hope you are feeling much better soon!
Your story really resonates – will the horrors ever end?
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Dear Yolanda,
I’m afraid that as long as there are people there will be horrors.
I’m feeling steadily better.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wow – so powerful. I wonder why she hasn’t been outside for so many years – the trauma? Odd that we both went with sleepwalking this week.
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Dear Claire,
Actually she’s been outside, she just hasn’t been able to see it. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very powerful story, and I loved the “Mississippi air (sticking) to her skin like a damp cloak” – I can almost fell it myself.
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Dear Ali,
I’ve been to Mississippi in the summer. The air clings to you like another layer of skin. Come to think of it, it describes my own state of Missouri at the moment. 😉
Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Haunting story. Written with much insight and compassion to the persecuted, as always!
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Dear Ansumani,
Thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Living here in the deep south I have found myself immersed in the history of this place. I always knew, but was far removed from feeling until we moved here from California. I have learned much. There is no place in Alabama that does not reek of it’s past. However, I must say they have made light-years in their progress to overcome their transgressions.
Your story is so well written. You made me cry.
Shalom,
Lynda
PS: Do feel well soon! Messing with your oral cavity is no laughing matter. :O
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Dear Lynda,
A few years ago I traveled with a dance ministry throughout the South. We stayed for a while in Selma. While a lot has changed, I could still feel the disturbing history.
Your tears are a high compliment. Thank you.
The pain in my mouth is lessening but I’m a pretty impatient patient. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That was a stunningly beautiful set of descriptions, and a terribly painful story, Rochelle! It was a swift punch in the gut at the end.
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Love the line ” Like a pearl brooch pinned to mottled velvet …tree branches.”
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Dear Vijaya,
Thank you for such a stunning comment. It’s the kind an author loves to read.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so much, Rochelle, and feel better very soon. 🙂 Blessings.
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Dear Shandra,
I’m not sure what you’re thanking me for, but you’re welcome I’m sure. 😉 I’m working on that feeling better part.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful writing. Get well my friend.
Tracey
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Dear Tracey,
Thank you on both counts. Working on the latter.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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…and the innocence of children is destroyed completely. Tragic reminder of a senseless past. You do an amazing job with these prompts. So emotional in so few words. An important message.
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Dear Solo,
I’ve never understood this kind of terrorism.
Thank you for such a lovely compliment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Syrah Zinfandel,
It’s fun to go back and tighten stories up a bit, isn’t it? Still as powerful and chilling as three years ago. Perhaps a bottle from the Zaccanti Vinery would speed your healing. The Purple Bunion Lambrusco should fit nicely with your addiction.
Cheers,
– Moe
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Dear Moe,
I was still the new kind on the block when I wrote this. Now I can’t imagine my life without Friday Fictioneers. And it was fun to tighten the story. Jan suggested when I started that I should print my stories off and put them in a notebook. That notebook’s pretty full.
Thanks for dropping by.
L’chaim,
Syrah Zinfandel
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Powerfully packed in few words.
Get well soon
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Dear Boomie Bol,
It’s a pleasure to have you drop by to read and comment. Thank you for all of your kind words. I’m getting better all the time.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Splendid depiction of a dreadful time. I wish that hatred was dead but it still persists.
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Dear Liz,
I don’t get this hatred.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very powerful, nicely done.
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Thank you, Loré. 😀
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Wow! That’s powerful and frightening. And, sadly enough, very timely with the current state of race relations.
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Dear Luna,
The times they are a-changing…wish it was always for the better.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Scary!!
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Terrifying. Thank you for commenting, Colline.
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⭐
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😀
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Once a week a star for Best and a Bear for Favorite. You gotta find some use for these rare smilies!
😉 Good recovery Boss, Tay.
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Seems like we both got inspiration from this dark time in America’s history. Excellent work, I wish I had such a command over saying so much with so little.
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Dear Michael,
I think I left a similar comment on your story. Keep writing. It only gets better.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I can only echo what the others have said. Powerful story Rochelle. Though I missed the blindness in the story. Wishing you a speedy return to wellness.
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Dear Joyfulness,
I was a little obscure, perhaps, on the blindness. Sorry that didn’t come through.
Thank you for your kind words on both counts. I’m getting better every day.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Quesrida Rochelle,
A power packed write with so many visuals to wake the reader. Whew …!!!
All has been said by others and I concur. Muy bueno ..!!!!
Adios,
Isadora 😎
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¡Muchas gracias, Isadora! 😀
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This made the hair stand up up on my arms then, and still did today. Sad, but powerful story.
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Thank you, Jan. Your support and kudos are always appreciated by this author.
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WOW–this is a knock-you-over story, Well Done!
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Dear Valida,
Thank you for stopping by to read and leave such a wonderful comment. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You’re most welcome.
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What a tragic story. Devastating. You tell it with powerful images. Get well quickly.
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Dear Margaret
Thank you for the wonderful comments and the well wishes. I’m getting a little better every day.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful story with great description, Rochelle. I’m from Ohio and the KKK was strong there also. Frightening group. Well written as always. ——– Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne,
When I think of KKK I think of the deep South…who knew? Any group with that kind of rhetoric is terrifying.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hi Rochelle – this version is far more polished than the original, although I did like your original use of ‘glistered’ 🙂
Great simile work here – the moon/pearl on velvet, the air like a damp cloak – top stuff.
I struggled a bit to establish when things were happening – was the dream a haunting reminder of the lynching, or were the dreams a prediction for something that was to come? I might re-read and see if I missed something.
Cheers
KT
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Dear KT,
Ah that word “glistered.” There was some controversy over that so I decided to just change it.
And now to answer your question. Yes, the dream was a recurring reminder and a flashback.
Let me know if you have any more questions.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hope no child has to go through this…
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Dear Anita,
No child should ever have to go through this. Alas many do thanks to stupid adults.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Your historical fiction writing doesn’t just remind us of events outside ourselves, it invites us to feel all the pain (and sometimes joy) of past events, and literally rips the heart out of anyone with any compassion or sensitivity.
I am a big fan!
BobiJo
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Dear Bobi Jo,
It’s nice to have a fan, and such a sweet one. Thank you for your generous comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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What an indictment is the KKK.
Good piece Rochelle.
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Dear Mick,
They should all have bedbugs in their white sheets.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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They probably do. Why else would they be so angry? Isn’t it amazing that a country that claims to be Christian can spawn such filth?
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The human brain always has the capacity to surprise us I think, and you captured our ability to ‘forget’ traumatic incidents beautifully. It was also a fascinating insight into the way our inner writer develops and the way we see things slightly differently with experience too. Really nicely done Rochelle.
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Dear Linda,
It’s amazing what a mind can block out. I’ve experienced some of this in my own life and it’s startling and traumatic when I realized what I’d “forgotten.”
It was fun to go back and rework this piece and realize how I’d grown as a writer.
Thank you so much for your comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Frankly, my dear, I wish I hadn’t read it, and I wish you didn’t have the need to, but I’m pleased you did and I’m pleased I did.
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Dear Patrick,
Would that there’d never been anything like this to write about.
I’m pleased that you read and pleased that you liked it.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This was intense and powerful bit of writing. A fictional mirror of a disturbing reality that happened not that long ago and unfortunately still happens in different forms around the world.
I trust your husband is enjoying the moments of silence these days 😉
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Dear Subroto,
It was a very disturbing reality that still rages all over the world. 😦
My husband was out of town through my silent period. I’m definitely on the other side of recovery for which I’m grateful.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It was as if I was watching it … SO well written.
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Dear Ira,
Thank you for coming by to read and comment. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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