The following photo is the prompt. Please remember to give credit where credit is due.
FRIDAY FICTION CONCRIT SUBGROUP
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*I’ve received both positive and negative feedback. Remember that there’s no obligation to give or receive constructive criticism nor is there an obligation to agree with crit given. I’d also like to add that no one should feel the need to dig up something to criticize simply because someone has a ‘C’ before their name. Let’s keep it polite and friendly.
Genre: Historical Fiction
Word Count: 100
SET ME AS A SEAL UPON YOUR HEART
Steam rose from the dish pan. Sweat beaded Leah’s forehead and soaked her kerchief. Gavrel’s chest ached with yearning and remorse. She deserved better than an old cobbler and the apartment above his shop, which was too small for two people, let alone a family of six.
“Next year in America. 1906 will be better.” He circled his arms around her waist. “Now this is a perfect fit.”
Turning in his embrace, she planted a wet kiss on his cheek. “Spoken like a shoemaker.”
“We may be poor, my young bride, but our children will never go barefoot in winter.”
****
Although not an excerpt, the story above is a scene in my novel From Silt and Ashes the sequel to Please Say Kaddish for Me.
Gavrel Wolinsky- Orignial Artwork © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Leah Wolinsky – Original Artwork © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
Atmospheric scene describing wonderfully well the intertwined feelings of pain, love and hope.
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Dear C.E.
Thank you for such kind and affirming words. It means a lot.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It makes our lives better to have something to hope for and look forward to, and it is so wondrous if we achieve, and our dreams come true. 😀
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Dear Archon,
I’ve read that without a dream the people perish.
Thank you for reading and commenting. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This is a heartwarming scene, Rochelle. He’s speaking the truth. A trade was a valuable thing to have. This little conversation helped bring your characters to life. Well written as always. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne,
Gavrel is a particular favorite of mine. He’s such a loving man. I picture him as being one of those burly men with a tender heart.
Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Been missing hearing from you. My site is back up at http://susanspersonalblog.com. Went to self-hosted. Hope everything is okay.:)
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You can really feel the love here. Great snippet.
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Dear Louise,
I’m so pleased that the love came across so well. It was my intent.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
It is a beautiful declaration of Love
Helene
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Thank you, Helene. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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aww this is such a heartwarming piece~ thank you for sharing ❤
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Dear Blackcherries
Thank you for stopping by to read and for leaving such a nice comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle!
You successfully transported me to their little apartment, with all the smells and the heat. Well done!
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Dear Loré,
This is the kind of comment that goes straight to my writerly heart and makes me smile.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rohelle
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There is no shame in being poor. That’s all you can say for it though.
Good piece.
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Dear Mick,
One of my favorite lines from Fiddler on the Roof. “It’s no shame to be poor, but it’s no great honor either.” 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I really hope for their sake their optimism worked out & none of the girls got a job at the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory in N.Y. in 1911. I’ve been reading a book about the big fire there, killed mostly very young Italian/Jewish immigrant girls. Your story realistically portrays the optimism that provoke people into that kind of immigration
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Dear Larry,
My grandparents were Jewish immigrants. I find that Italian and Jewish immigrants had much in common.
I can assure you that the girls don’t end up in the factory (horrible tragedy) but more than that I won’t divulge since it would give away part of my novel’s plot. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Beautifully written. One hopes it turns out well for them.
When is publication?
(Love your brazen self-promotion.)
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Dear Patrick,
I can’t divulge the plot. 😉 Self-promotion? It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it. December 1 is the projected date.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ahh, so much love in this little scene, and from such a frightening picture.
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Dear Claire,
It’s always about seeing vs what I’m looking at. 😉 Thank you for lovely compliment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great story Rochelle. I can see it vividly. I would think a cobbler would be a wonderful person to be married to in such lean times. 🙂
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Dear Courtney,
Like Gavrel said, at least they’d never go barefoot. ;).
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Perfect story, my dear, as usual. Cheers! Alicia
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Dear Alicia,
You’re very kind. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Lovely story!
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Thank you, Chioma!
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Dear Rochelle,
You say so much in so few words. Very well done. I do hope your book is doing well.
Blessing,
Phyllis
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Dear Phyllis,
As far as I can tell the book’s doing well. I’ve a long way to go and a lot to learn about marketing though. The sequel will be out in a matter of weeks now.
Thank you for your kind words re my writing.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yes, lots to learn. I agree. I too am finished with the second book. It’s being edited, then proofed. Hope to be ready by the beginning of next year.
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I love the title and the story. You really do show us how to do a lot with relatively little words. I have a lot to learn from you. Thanks for organising the challenge each week!
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Hmm … perhaps few would be better than little (just saying!)
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Dear Graham,
Few words will do. 😉 Thank you for your kind compliments. You’re quite welcome concerning the challenge. it’s one of my crazy passions.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nice scene! Being an immigrant myself, I can relate to that very well.
Lily
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Dear Lily,
Glad you liked my story and could relate to it. My grandparents were immigrants. I used to enjoy my grandfather’s accent. But the truth is, I wish i had asked him questions.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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What a beautiful story of hope and enduring love. I love the title quote from the Song…It’s one of my favorite bits of poetry.
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Dear Joe,
As Fr. Mulcahey said, “Solomon was having a particularly good day when he wrote that.” 😉 I love Song of Songs, too.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Great story. I enjoyed the tender moment here.
On use of the word “which”: “Which” is used when you would need to put a comma in front of it, in other words, when the description could only be describing one thing (my small apartment, which . . . ). The word “that” is used when you don’t need a comma, and that happens to be the case in your story this week: “an apartment above his shop that was too small . . . ” The article “an” indicates that this may not be the only apartment. If you had chosen the article “the,” “which” would have been the grammatically correct choice.
Of course, this is but a minor nit in an otherwise fine story–and something that should be caught in the proofroom if it ever did wind up in a book. 😉
All my best,
Marie Gail
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Thank you Marie Gail for that wonderful explanation of when you use which and when to use that. I know that which must have the comma in front of it but otherwise I have been alternating my use willy nilly. I will now check the articles I am using. Cheers Irene
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Dear Marie Gail,
Thank you for the grammatical tips. As you know, it’s not my strong point and the help is always appreciated. I have changed “an apartment” to “the apartment” and put the necessary comma before “which.” I hope I can remember this for future reference. 😉
AS for what’s in the book, I also posted a character study blog that has the actual excerpt. I did quite a bit of tweaking to make the snippet stand alone. (And I thought I was taking the easy way out.)
https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2015/11/18/character-study-gavrel-and-leah-wolinsky/
Glad you enjoyed.
Thank you and much shalom my friend.
Rochelle
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What I like the most is Gavrel’s humor. Leah might spend her life in poverty. But laughter and hope is all that they need at the moment. I have looked for anything to improve, but I lack the ability to spot anything. Great story as usual… (and I missed it so much last week)
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Dear Bjorn,
Gavrel does have a most positive outlook. I’m glad you enjoyed my snippet and am happy to see you back.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A lovely scene. For a split second I hoped the little elves would turn up and help the Wolinskys on their way. OK, life’s not a fairy tale, but I’m still hoping for a happy ending.
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Dear John,
Since Gavrel and Leah story unfolds in my second book, From Silt and Ashes, I can’t divulge the rest of the story. Definitely not a fairy tale.although elves would’ve been nice. Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Lovely Rochelle and despite their circumstances there is always hope. Well done.
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Dear Michael,
As long as one is breathing, there’s always hope, right? Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I thought parts of it seemed familiar. I read the other post earlier. Makes a nice little piece.
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Dear Tessa,
I’ve been posting character studies for my books “Please Say Kaddish for Me” and the sequel “From Silt and Ashes” for a few months. This week I thought it would be fun to take a scene from one of the books and work it into a flash. It’s a little different than the book excerpt to make it stand alone. Thank you for taking the time to visit both.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Your welcome.
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And that’s what made America strong. It’s ambitious, hard-working, resourceful people like that who came here. A wonderful scene, Rochelle. I love it.
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Dear Eric,
My grandparents were immigrants at the turn of the century, I’m very proud of my heritage.
Thank you for your lovely comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I love the characters already!
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Dear Dawn,
You made me smile.
Shalom,
Rochelle
PS From Silt and Ashes will be out in a matter of weeks. 😉
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Well I look forward to it but I still have “Say Kaddish For Me” in my queue, lol I’m afraid I am stuck on some crime dramas (my favorite genre). Only three more in the series I think.
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Interesting characters. Curious to read how their hopes turns out. Engaging read.
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Dear Ansumani,
From Silt and Ashes will be out in a few weeks. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Next year in America? In addition to having shoes in winter, If they have to walk all the way to America, at least they’ll have shoes for that, too.
Randy
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Dear Randy,
I think it would’ve been difficult to walk to America from Ukraine. 😉
Thanks for the read and the comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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For sure, it would be no walk in the woods.
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A lovely story about love and hope. 🙂
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Thank you, Deborah. 😀
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What a beautiful story — so tender, so loving, and full of hope!
Oh, and that line “set me as a seal” is from the Song of Solomon, isn’t it? I love the poetry in it. Once, long ago, I sang it when I was part of an all-women’s a cappella group called Goddess Gospel. The leader of the group had taken The Song of Solomon, adapted it, and set it to music.
“How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse …O my love that are in the cleft of the rock, let me see they countenance … set me as a seal upon thy heart … for love is as strong as death …”
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Dear Vijaya,
Sheer Ha Shireem, Song of Songs in Hebrew. One of the most beautiful books of the Bible.
Thank you for sharing your experience and for your compliments on my story.
Shalom,
Rochelle, YFBM
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Lovely vignette Rochelle, and a great appetiser for what is to come. Well done.
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Thank you, Sandra my award winning author friend. I hope you’ll enjoy my second novel as much as my first.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I am so glad you have let us know that the sequel will soon be available. I’m looking forward to it immensely having enjoyed Please Say Kaddish for me. I also enjoyed your hundred words.
C- The first paragraph put us in the scene, whilst the dialogue gave us a sense of the characters. I don’t have anything to say re improvement but I do think for these reasons it was a good flash.
Cheers Irene
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Dear Irene,
Thank you for your comments on my story. If you go here https://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2015/11/18/character-study-gavrel-and-leah-wolinsky/ you can read the actual excerpt from From Silt and Ashes. I had to tweak it to make it a stand alone. A bit of shameless self promotion. 😉
Question: Would you be willing to post a review for PSKFM on Amazon? If you do it on the UK page you can also paste it up on the dot com paged. Sandra and Sarah Potter both did. Thank you in any event.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
There is nothing wrong with self promotion – let’s face it, if we didn’t do it we wouldn’t sell too many books.
I have already put a review on Amazon.com when I read your book, but not on the UK site. I’ll look and see if I can put my review there as well.
Cheers Irene
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Dear Irene,
Duh moment here. In transferring my reviews onto my website, it occurred to me that you were “Roger Waters.” Sorry about that. It’s there and it’s on my website under “Irene Waters.” Thank you again.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You’re welcome. It is confusing as I have never bothered setting up my own amazon account as we share books between us so we just buy from his.
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I find Amazon to be confusing. It seems that there’ve been reviews that never made it up. I don’t get that.
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I know they say it will take 24 hours for them to approve them so who knows what their criteria is. Annoying for you though.
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Lovely little slice of their life together, and I loved the pictures you drew of them, they really bring them to life! They seem a happy pair 🙂
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Dear Ali,
Thank you for such lovely comments and compliments. I’m glad you liked it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This is very beautiful and full of love and hope. I read with interest the grammar discussion above and will try to remember that, too. This story is good for the heart, and exactly what many of us who are shocked by the Paris attacks need this week.
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Dear GAH,
Your words are nice to read. It’s always nice to have someone in the group who knows their grammar. Not my best subject when it comes to punctuation.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Such a heart-warming story, Rochelle. And very well-sketched, lovable characters.
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Thank you, Jolly. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m so blown away by world events. My deepest prayers for our dear brothers and sisters in France are being raised. This photo reminds me of that. Still thinking on how to put words to it.
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A wonderful slice of life depicted here. I am also really impressed how you have written character studies for your book.
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Dear Subroto,
Apparently my publisher is impressed with my character studies also. It looks like I’ll have a coffee table book out sometime next year. 😀
Thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Excellent story! Have you toured the Tenement Museum in New York City’s East Side? Your story could be a precursor to this couple’s future life in NY City. No negatives here. Enjoyed this very much!
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Dear Lillian,
I haven’t toured the museum.
However, this couple is bound for Kansas City, Missouri where the rest of their family has gone. My maternal grandfather came into Ellis Island but ultimately ended up in the Midwest because he didn’t know anyone in NY. My father’s family, on the other hand did end up in NY. My father was raised in Brooklyn. (I guess that makes me half NY Jew 😉 )
I’m glad you enjoyed my story. Thank you for taking the time to say so. .
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A wonderful story 🙂
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Thank you, Arl. 😀
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Nice story. I like the twist at the end about this cobbler’s children having shoes.
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Dear VC,
Glad you stopped by. Thank you for taking the time to read and leave a nice comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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you’re very talented. 🙂
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Thank you, Plaridel. 😀
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A good pair of shoes is very important! a great snippet
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Dear Solo,
What woman doesn’t appreciate a great pair of shoes, in every color. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, love your story! It is so poignant – the picture made me laugh though – I thought someone took one of “Alice in Wonderlands” potions by mistake and shrank through the grate. Very well done!
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Dear Nan,
It is an interesting picture, isn’t it? We’ve had no lack of Cinderella stories this week.
Re my story. Glad you loved it.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Beautiful story, Rochelle. I’m really loving your book! Almost done. It’s really magical. They have love and it shows in your story. Well done.
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Dear Amy,
Your comments about my book make me smile. The next one will be out soon and you’ll see Gavrel and Leah again. That was one arranged marriage that ended up right.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I can’t wait to read it!
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You have such talent! Congratulations, on the flash/excerpt the drawings, and the new book! Such an interesting photograph, loved where it took you.
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Dear Yolanda Renee,
I’m glad you enjoyed the story and the drawings. Thank you on all counts.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Love how she is supportive to him & love his positvity towards life.
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Dear Dee,
Gavrel and Leah are two of my favorites. Glad you enjoyed.
Thank you for stopping by to say so.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Is the year supposed to mean something? Thought I enjoy history, I don’t particularly keep track of dates.
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One of the worst pogroms happened in Odessa in 1905, Audrey. Also setting the stage as being set at the Turn of the Century as opposed to, say, 1805 or 2005.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rowdy Ronda,
Every time we finished the last step of a job (i.e. put the final bale of hay in the barn), my Dad would always say, “That’s the one the shoemaker killed his wife over.” I have no idea what that was supposed to mean and I don’t think he did either.
It does make me feel sorry for the wives in China as that’s where all our shoes come from now.
BTW – feel free to do a character study on Joan and her boyfriend. I’d love to see their portraits too. 🙂
Wishbone
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Dear Wishbone,
I think Joan would make quite a portrait…of course with the floral moo moo it would have to be in color.
Thanks for stopping by. BTW..perhaps I should loan you my Chevy Cruz. It was quite effective in hitting a deer last year. 😉
Shalom,
Rowdy Rhonda
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I’ve been caring for my elderly grandmother (she just turned 97!) and she’s been telling me stories about her father who emigrated to America in the early 1900’s. I’ve often wondered what drove people to come here and what they experienced once arriving. Your story has that flavor of both desperation and hope. It also reminds me that the most important things in life are not tangible. You said so much with so few words. Very well done, Rochelle.
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Dear TV,
I hope you’re taking notes and recording your grandmother’s stories. I so wish I’d asked my grandfather the questions that are burning in my mind now.
Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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My father was an emigre to Australia, where he met my mother and fathered me before bringning us home after the war. I hope your cobbler and his family liked their chosen country enough to stay put.
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Dear Liz,
I can’t divulge Gavrel and Leah’s path. 😉
It sounds like you have an interesting family history.
Thank you for coming by. I hope you’re settling in your new place.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I loved your little story with the history and the hopes for America. 🙂
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Thank you, Susan. I’m pleased you liked my story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hi Rochelle! Loved it right from the title to the end. Now I have to read the history behind it. Your sketches are excellent.
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Dear Indira,
This is a snippet from my upcoming novel, From Silt and Ashes due out in a week and a half. It’s the sequel to Please Say Kaddish for Me.
Glad you enjoyed this.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A beautifully written story Rochelle.
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Thank you, Colline. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hard times are easier to endure when there is love and hope. I look forward to reading this novel, Rochelle. I am already attached to your characters. You breathe life into them so beautifully! Shalom, Cheryl-Lynn
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Dear Cheryl-Lynn,
It makes me happy to know that you’re as attache to my characters as I am. I’m excited for the new book to come out.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I don’t connect like that too often with characters in a novel. I can say that Chaim Potok’s characters, families are with me…yes, my dear, you write that beautifully!
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it is hope that always cheats you. ‘hope causes misery’ words of swami vivekananda
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Dear Arora,
Interesting and rather depressing concept.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle,
I recognized at least the tone of this from your novels so I wasn’t surprised to read your note at the end. I finished Say Kaddish for Me on my business trip to Mexico a couple weeks ago and look forward to reading the other one too.
-David
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Dear David,
I’m thrilled that you read PSKFM and that you enjoyed it. Now onto the third. It also looks official that there will be a hard back book of these character studies in offing sometime next year. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That’s great, Rochelle. I’m so happy for you. 🙂
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What a poignant picture of love and the zest to have a better life!
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Thank you, Roger. Glad you liked it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A wonderful scene of tenderness and hope. Touching dialogue which shows so much of their story.
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Dear Margaret,
Such nice comments make me smile. I’m glad you liked my story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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