FRIDAY FICTION CONCRIT SUBGROUP
If you want to be part of this group click the link above and follow the rules set forth by Jennifer Pendergast, the leader of this subgroup. No one is under obligation to participate nor is it necessary to dig something up to criticize for the sake of critique. Please keep it polite and friendly.
The next photo is the prompt and is from Yours Truly.
PHOTO PROMPT- © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Genre: Teaser
Word Count: 97
LUCID NIGHTMARE
“Police! Open the door!”
Her body shook, more from horror than cold. She drew up her knees, cowered in a corner of the room and stared at the bloodstains on the floral wallpaper. The back of her head ached where he had yanked her hair and dragged her to the floor. A bitter wind blew through the broken window. She shivered. Her knuckles smarted from a large gash across them. She wrapped her nightgown hem around her hand.
Tears burned her eyes and she shut them tight, leaning her head against the wall. “Will it ever end?”
****
A bit of self-promotion today as my second novel From Silt and Ashes debuted this week. The “story” above is the opening of book. I hope it drew you in and made you want to know more. 😉
Now available on Amazon.com
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
Ah… what a scene. I could really feel her pain.. Especially the last sentence burned. This is a repeated thing. Love the thought of a teaser, and it really worked for me.
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Dear Björn,
I’m glad the scene works. Of course this is only the opening of the first chapter. It just seemed to go with the window photo. 😉 So I took advantage this week. I hope you’ll read the rest of the book at some point.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great scene-setting in this and you really make the reader want to know ‘why?’ and ‘what happened?’.
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Dear Claire,
Your comments are always appreciated. I’m glad my scene setting worked for you and you took the time to say so. (Thank you also for reading and giving a review of the whole book). Your review is one of the pages that made the Amazon teaser.)
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very effective opening for your book, Rochelle. It seems sure to draw the reader in. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne,
To draw the reader in is exactly what I want to do. 😉 My husband read it in two days. He said he couldn’t put it down and isn’t sure he did the proofreading he intended.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks for the interesting picture this week. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne,
Isn’t it funny how we all start snapping photos with Friday Fictioneers in mind? This was taken in my son’s kitchen in upstate New York. It was one of those lovely mornings when I was first up, which is usually the case.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m sure it will capture the reader’s attention and imagination. I liked the way you conveyed, as Bjorn said, the fact that this was not a one-off occurrence. Well done. A worthy trailer for what I’m sure will be a worthy sequel.
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Dear Sandra,
That’s the intention…to capture the reader’s attention. 😉 Jan said he enjoyed the sequel as much as the first.
Thank you for taking time to read and comment. I’ll be interested to hear what you think of From Silt and Ashes.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Shameless self promotion.
Well done.
I love it.
On the edge of my parrot already!
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Dear CE,
I have no shame. 😉 Thank you for reading and commenting.
Naturally I hope you’ll read the other 80,000 or so words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Sounds like a scene from Fargo! Nicely done. Bloody wallpaper always makes me think of The Shining.
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Dear J Hardy,
This opening scene is designed to make the reader think of all of those kinds of things. I hope you’ll pick up a copy of the book and read the rest. 😉
Thank you and shalom,
Rochelle
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You are such a tease… only makes me more impatient for my book delivery…
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Dear Dale,
Mission accomplished! You’ll note that my genre this week is ‘teaser.’
It was also the easy way “out” this week. No tweaking was necessary to make the 97 words fit the prompt.
I can’t wait to get your reaction to From Silt and Ashes.
Thank you ❤ and Shalom,
Rochelle
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It absolutely drew me in. And then kept me until the end. Not sure how I am going to wait until the third novel now. Excellent.
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Starting with the police at the door — wonderfully intense way to draw the reader in! And the blood on the floral wallpaper was such a graphic image, very nicely done.
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Dear Joy,
Happy to have drawn you in. Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yes, it did! What a teaser! Pretty powerful opening scene, Rochelle, with the blood, the wallpaper, the bitter wind, the police … this sounds like a book that will find a wide audience!
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Dear Vijaya,
A wide audience is what I’m hoping for, despite my target. I’ve gotten such good feedback on the first book from people I’d never have thought would be interested in it. You just never know, do you? I hope you’ll be part of my audience. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yes, of course!
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It is a great opener.
C- But I don’t see how the lovely image taken from inside your son’s kitchen prompts you to post this particular piece.
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Dear Patrick,
I actually didn’t put a C by my name on this one, since it’s out in print and unchangeable. 😉
My glancing reference to the prompt is the window.
Of course, I have just a smidge of ulterior motive here. 😉
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It’s tough out there for authors so I don’t think anyone can blame you for a bit of self-promotion! It’s a very dramatic opening scene.
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Dear Miss KZebra,
Thank you for understanding my ulterior motive. It is a very competitive world, isn’t it? And it seems I’ve chosen a genre that’s tougher than some. 😉
Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Sorry, can’t hit like. Too gruesome. I prefer make believe, which shouldn’t surprise you.
But it is well written and is a great beginning to pull the right reader in.
Congratulations on another book published. Hope it goes well for you.
Phyllis
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Dear Phyllis.
As I said, it’s a teaser. Although some parts of the book are admittedly graphic. Sorry you couldn’t like it, but thank you for the kind comments and the congrats.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, I have a brother and cousin who will never read my books. They’d rather go surfing or fishing. But as long as they love me, I don’t care.
There are all kinds of readers for every author. As long as you and I stay blog buddies that’s what’s important.
Of course lots of books sells are really nice. ;0) May we both do well.
Phyllis
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and this is a Jewish mystery?
Randy
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Not a mystery, Randy. It’s historical fiction and the sequel to my first novel. I took the ‘easy’ way out this week and copied and pasted the first 97 words of the first chapter. Hence, the genre ‘teaser’.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Congrats on your new book! Thanks for this week’s Friday fiction prompt!
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Thank you and you’re welcome, Silverliner. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The frustration of the bottomless pit of anxiety, and reliving the incident, really come through in the story
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Dear Larry,
Your comment makes me smile. You went exactly where I wanted you to go. Thank for taking the time to say so.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’ve been reading work from you prompts and hope to start joining in. I blog poetry with Bjorn and have published two novel but my fiction lately is taking a backseat to poetry. It may be a couple of weeks, but I hope to be back with something to share.
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Dear Victoria,
Jump in any time. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Well, now we all have to read your book, Rochelle, just to find out what happens. 🙂 This is a gripping scene, although it leaves a lot of questions open, like where the man is now. I keep coming up with scenarios. I guess that makes it a very effective teaser. I plan to get this book soon so I’ll find out the truth.
-David
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Dear David,
Of course I had an ulterior motive posting this as my story for the week. 😉 I’m looking forward to your feedback afterward, too. Jan read it in two days when he was proofing it. He said it was hard to keep his mind on typos because he got so pulled into the story. He returned the proof copy with tears in his eyes and said, “You were meant to write.”
Compliments don’t get much higher, do they? Particularly when they come from a spouse.
Thank you and shalom,
Rochelle
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Great opening to a book (and works as a 100 word story as well!). You painted this grim scene beautifully.
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Thank you Ali. It is a grim beginning. Of course I hope you’ll want to read the rest of the book to find out why. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nice opening. I do indeed want to read more. How might a humble fan go about getting an autographed copy of the book? 🙂
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Dear Voice,
Glad it drew you in. An autographed copy can be arranged. You can email me at runtshell@gmail.com.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. I’ll be in touch!
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Domestic violence and how to deal with it has been in the UK news this week. You portray it vividly.
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Dear Liz,
I feel for women (and men) who are victims of domestic violence. There’s no excuse for it.
Thank you for your compliment. I’ll confess, that in the context of the book, this might be a mislead. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very riveting! A great opener to draw the reader in.
Lily
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Dear Lily,
Mission accomplished! 😀 Thank you for the positive feedback.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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there’s a lot to learn analyzing how this piece was written. everything seems to fit in its place. well done.
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Dear Plaridel,
I’m glad it seems to fit. Of course this is only the first 97 words of a full chapter. 😉 I could tell you how to read the rest of it but that would just be shameless advertisement.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great start and wow, second novel already, many congratulations.
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Thank you, Subroto.
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Dear Hester Van Cleef,
Loved your teaser. It made my stomach churn with the desire to do bodily harm to a person who would treat a woman in such away. I think C.E.’s character had the right solution for men like him.
Happy Winter Solstice,
Wm. Snakeboots
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Dear Wm. Snakeboots,
Just remember, things aren’t always what they seem. 😉 This is the beginning of a larger story. Although I’ll not argue about men who treat women like that. CE’s character had the right idea.
Shalom,
Hester Van Cleef
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Indeed it certainly did draw me in… great opening
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Thank you, Solo. 😀
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Yep, it’s a great start. I really want to know how she ended up like that and what will happen next.
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Dear Alice,
There’s a way to learn what happens. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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As usual, your stories are always engaging from the get go. Sorry I missed the boat on this one, although I did write a post. It’s been awhile. Forgot that entries are accepted Tuesday through Thursday. Will be back for the next one. It’s been a while. Have missed all the entertaining stories. Congrats on your second publication! hugs…
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Dear Millie (right?),
Thank you for your kind words re my story/teaser.
You actually haven’t missed the boat. In fact you must have FF confused with another challenge. The prompt goes up Wednesday and stays open until Tuesday 6:55 PM CST.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Congratulations on your novel’s publication and on your brilliant attention-grabbing opening. I love the cover art, too.
I see the book is only available as a paperback at the moment. Will it be published as an eBook in the near future?
Finally, my novel went live last weekend. It’s taken me all week to recover my strength. Hopefully, I’ll be able to return to a blogging routine, as I’m mindful of having neglected everyone while grappling with editing and formatting, plus numerous attempt to perfect my blurb and author bio.
It was with some relief that I had the opportunity to do some creative writing today for Friday Fictioneers after months of graft and no time for producing anything new.
Wishing you the best of luck with From Silt and Ashes.
Sarah
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Dear Sarah,
I understand about being busy. I’m sort of in the same space which is why I took the easy route this week. No tweaking necessary to make it fit the prompt size. Just added a title.
Did you self publish? Although even with a publisher there’s still editing, proofing…blurb and bio were a challenge this time.
I’m told FSAA will be available on Kindle soon. It was supposed to be this week but he has one more day. 😉 I’ll try to keep you posted.
Now that I’m working on the third novel in the series and a companion book of artwork I’m as busy as ever.
Where can I find your book?
Thank you for your kind words re my opening and cover art. I am very blessed to be able to do my own cover art.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Life sounds hectic for you. Yes, I did self-publish in the end as I got fed up with literary agents keeping on praising me for my writing, but turning it down on marketing grounds. I’ve written five novels, but “Desiccation” is the one that just about fits into the category of urban fantasy for the 15+ audience. It’s best described as St Trinian’s meets Invasion of the Body Snatchers! It’s certainly not as serious as my flash fiction. You can find it here http://www.amazon.co.uk/Desiccation-Sarah-Potter-ebook/dp/B0198UBZQU/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1450525319&sr=1-1&keywords=Desiccation+by+Sarah+Potter
I look forward to the kindle version of your novel, as I loved the first one.
All best wishes
Sarah
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I’ll have to look for it on the American Amazon. 😉
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Sorry, I remembered just after sending you that link.
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Gripping little scene there, Rochelle! Loved it! Had Hubs back and forth to docs for the last two weeks. Not much time to check in or to read. Thinking of everyone and wishing all a very Merry Christmas!
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Dear Jelli,
I understand about time. It’s why I posted my first 97 words of my book rather than wrack my brain with a flash fiction. Noblesse oblige, right?
Thank you for dropping by and a very Merry Christmas to you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It was supposed to be a teaser, and tease it did! Thrilling! Can’t wait to find out more about what happened to her. Very well done, Rochelle!
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Dear Ankita,
There’s much more in store for her in From Silt and Ashes. Glad it teased.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Eagerly looking forward to it!
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That’s a great ‘opening’. Certainly draws me in!
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Thank you, Graham. 😉
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Wonderful teaser. It makes me wonder just how many other people are experiencing something similar today in their war torn countries.
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Dear Emilie,
happy to have teased. As this is actually a picture of nightmare and flashback I’m sure there are countless others experiencing the same thing as my Havah.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nothing shameful about your talent. Promote away. Best wishes on the book launch.
Tracey
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Dear Tracey,
Thank you for your affirmation. I kind of worried about doing this but I’ve got so many things going on I just couldn’t come up with a new story. Not even for my own photo.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You give back much more than you ever ask of us at FF. Besides if you can’t promote to your friends then they aren’t friends.
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Intriguing teaser – Adding this book to the list of “want to read..”. Congratulations and good luck on the launch of this new book Rochelle.
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Dear Ansumani,
Thank you for your compliment and for adding my book to your list.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The fear and pain come through clearly. Great hook.
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Thank you, Erin. You made me smile. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Terrific opening scene. Powerful images and feelings here. Congratulations on your second book, Rochelle.
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Dear Margaret,
I’m pleased that you found my teaser powerful and engaging. Thank you for your comments and congrats.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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great subtle touch to make us think this is a one of a kind nightmare and then reveal this happens all the time. Great job, as always!
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Dear Perry,
I’m assuming you’ve gone and perhaps read the rest of the chapter on Amazon? At any rate, thank you for such a great comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ooh, a teaser! I can’t wait to read your next book, Rochelle. I really loved the first one. Don’t worry, I will be writing a review soon. It was wonderful. I was immediately entranced and really didn’t want to put it down. Congratulations on your second book! You’re such an inspiration!
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Dear Amy,
I hope you’ll find From Silt and Ashes as engaging as Please Say Kaddish for Me. My husband did. 😉
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I look forward to your review(s).
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Excellent, but devastating story.
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Thank you, Hilary. 😀
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Oh my..I just finished Please Say Kaddish for Me…so yes! I want to know more!
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Dear Dawn,
You’ve made me grin from ear to ear. Thank you again for you lovely Amazon review.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nicely done – great opener for the book; you get a sense of violence and ongoing betrayal in 100 words.
Consider me ‘teased’ 🙂
Cheers
KT
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Dear KT
Mission accomplished. Happy to have teased. I hope you’ll go on to read the rest. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I assure you, your book is on my TBR list 🙂
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Powerful imagery here, Rochelle, that does indeed pull me in and make me want more! Congratulations on another publication; you’re on fire!
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Dear Dawn,
On fire indeed…working on two more books simultaneously. One being the third in this series entitled As One Must One Can and a companion book of illustrations entitled A Stone for the Journey.
Thank you for your lovely comments. I so look forward to your input every week.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Another book for my list!
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Dear Joe,
Smiling and happy to have my book on your list. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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