This is a very wonderful piece that certainly evokes a certain aspect of the interesting photo image. As usual Rochelle, you have captured the essence of shop particularly well, and having read through the comments, it is no wonder.

I feel a bit odd suggesting this but … offered with the best of intentions, of course, but I have to say there are some confusing elements within this piece. I know you’ve taken this scene from one of your books and reworked it slightly, but there are 2 things, one which, at least, to my mind, makes me stop and “trip.”

I initially was confused about the names “Beryl & Barry” until I realized that it was one in the same person, as you mentioned in the comments. And this could be perhaps glossed over, after all, it’s only 100 words … but what has me feeling “off” is the time line. I can’t place a fixed sense of time.

I’m under the impression that Beryl/Barry is still a young man, and so when he replies that his sweetheart has died years ago, my mind automatically starts asking all kinds of questions. Like, how did he manage to escape, how long ago was this, he left before the terrible carnage began? Had no idea or inkling of what was to come? etc. And so, then, when his lost love, presumed dead, enters the store and is introduced as the wife of another? This is an entirely valid premise – and definitely, I suspect is quite something in your novel – but in this 100 “worder” as I’m understanding it, it just adds to the absolute confusion of “timing” in my mind.

This technicality aside, and perhaps it’s just how I’m reading this, although I’ve read it over and over and over again, the story is wonderful. You’ve captured the essence of loss and longing, then the shock of discovery really well.

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