Summer is the time for vacations, picnics on the beach and reruns on the telly. For me it’s a time to meet a deadline in July for my third novel in my series entitled AS ONE MUST ONE CAN. Many thanks to those of you who responded to my plea for your favorite reruns.
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The following photo is the PROMPT. This week’s retread request is from my Cuzzin Kent If you’re one of those who wrote a story for this prompt feel free to re-post it and enjoy the respite. Remember that all photos are private property and subject to copyright. Use other than Friday Fictioneers by permission only.
Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Genre: Realistic Fiction
Word Count: 99
The original post is Here
THE ICE QUEEN
In Rowena’s thirty-eighth year the flashbacks started. One by one, memories from her childhood surfaced like debris in a whirlpool. Among them were the uncle who molested her and the neighbor who raped her then threatened her with worse if she told. Both happened before her twelfth birthday.
To punish her body for its betrayal, she starved it. Reduced to bone and thinning skin, her defense against pain became her prison.
“What are you feeling?” asked her therapist.
“Nothing.”
“Does it help?” He pointed to her scarred arm.
“No.”
“Do you really want to die, Rowena?”
“I’m already there.”
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
No matter how hard you try to bury things, they tend to resurface. Sad, sad story.
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Dear Loré,
As my therapist once told me, if they don’t resurface the behaviors can kill and she’ll never know why. Fortunately this sad story ultimately had a happy ending.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 4 people
Fffffwwwuuuuhhhh.
Man, you were a real cheery wee soul back then, weren’t you.
Powerful, brutal, excellent.
But do I have to click ‘Like’?
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Dear CE,
You don’t have to click ‘like.’ 😉 But I’m still glad you did.
I seriously debated putting two of my ‘back in the day’ stories so close together, but I just went with the flow of the prompts chosen by others. And Cuzzin Kent’s story for this prompt is one of my favorites of his.
Thank you for a great comment. I’m cheery wee soul now…sometimes. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I trust that you understand my point about ‘Like’.
I love the writing, but the content leaves me writhing in anguish.
Hugs
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No explanation necessary. I knew what you meant and took it as a high compliment.
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I clicked “Like” only because I agree this type of abuse has to be brought out to air so the public is aware. Unfortunately, the censors here have seen it necessary to block the film clip. They even blocked the film clip on YouTube. I’ll say no more about that. Good post, Rochelle. I hope things are improving. We certainly don’t protect our children by hiding the fact this goes on as in years past. Sweeping it under “the carpet” only makes it worse. Well written as always. —- Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne,
Actually the clip is a song so I don’t know why it’s been blocked. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLHriifVPTc Perhaps the link will work.
As for the story, it’s based on my own true story which I’m happy to report is no longer my reality. There’s a lot to be said for the finding the right professionals and a good support system. I had both.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle. I tried the link and they’ve got that blocked also. It might possibly have something to do with copyright law. Who knows. Conservatives here also become uncomfortable about some subjects. I read in the newspapers that more women and girls are reporting abuse these days so there’s room for hope. I thought I remembered you mentioning your past problems. I’m so glad you got professional help and that’s in the past for you. I warned my children as my mother had warned me. She didn’t believe in hiding matters like that. —- Suzanne
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“Conservatives here also become uncomfortable with some subjects.”
Sadly some conservative religious institutions have been covering and defending these predators(this is a reference to Evangelical institutions; a number of my Twitter followers have been beating their drums, standing up for abuse victims).
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Dear Kevin and Suzanne,
I’m still not sure why the song would be blocked. It would have to be copyright laws between countries. There’s nothing in the song that should rattle a conservative. I have gone back on previous blogs to find that a song or video is no longer available for whatever reason.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A powerful story. But haven’t I seen it before? It’s very similar to the story you posted a few weeks back, but more than that – I’m sure I’ve already read the final dialogue. I looked back on your site and couldn’t find it. Must be déjà vu. Spooky. In any case, it’s a great story. And it differs from the previous one in that this one starts with the exploration of coping mechanisms rather than with denial.
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Dear Neil,
This one is similar to one I posted the week before last. I didn’t plan it that way and they weren’t originally posted this close together as I explained to CE. it was the way they fell with asking others to choose their favorite prompt. This story and the one from 2 weeks back are chapters from the same story. Neither starvation nor cutting worked in the long run as coping mechanisms. I’m happy to say that “Rowena” has moved on and finally laid the horrid past to rest. At any rate, I’m glad you liked the story and left a great comment.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ahh. Now that makes sense
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WordPress forces us to ‘like’ what is unlikeable as if we are somehow consenting. You tell very strong tales as usual but I was pleased to read in the comments that this tale had a happy ending. So in conclusion, great story, but the like goes to the happy ending if you don’t mind.
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Dear Graham,
I understand not ‘liking’ this story for itself. It’s dark and depressing, as was the time about which it’s written. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful and emotive, particularly the reality behind it. So very well done, as always. I felt the bleakness of ‘Rowena’s’ outlook.
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Dear Sandra,
Rowena’s outlook was pretty bleak then. Fortunately the only trace of her is the silvery, hardly noticeable wrist scars. Thank you for such a wonderful comment/compliment. Coming from you it means a lot. (One more chapter to go.)
Shalom,
Rochelle
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“Do you know your name?”
“Yeah. Stupid.”
Those days are FAR behind. You came a loooooooong way since. As Teddy would say, “Bully!”
And BULLY for the story! Five out of five mustache waxes. 😉
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Dear Cuz,
This makes me grin. I just wrote a Bully chapter about my favorite president. 😉 I hardly recognize Rowena anymore. Thank you for the mustache waxes and the comments.
Shalom,
Cuzzin Shelley
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Lump in throat. Didn’t realise at all that you were a victim of such terrible abuse as well.
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Dear Petruj,
I didn’t realize it either until I was in my thirties. It’s amazing how the human mind can bury and recreate memories. At any rate I’m grateful every day for the life I live now and the international friends I have. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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… didn’t realise until you were in your thirties … Lump in throat remains. I recognise this so well.
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What strange ways our minds have of storing trauma and then forcing us to confront it, but confront it we must as ‘Rowena’ discovered.
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Dear Siobhán,
Those were strange times for Rowena. Hard to believe what the mind can shield us from. She’s happy to be on the other side.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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such things keep happening, at one level we are where we were, stuck to the same vicious circle that moves without motion
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Dear Arora,
The mind is a complex thing, isn’t it? At least Rowena broke free.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful words about those things that can make us powerless. Glad this story has a happy ending. So often, they don’t. You are so right in saying the proper support network and professional help is crucial to recovery.
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Dear Phylor,
This has been a difficult story to share, even the second time around. It’s a part of my life that’s in the past but…there’s always that feeling of transparency in sharing a story like this. Thank you for reading and commenting. Glad you liked it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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When a reader knows the writer has experienced the story, the realism and the “not just me” really kick in.
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The depths to which we can sink and survive are incredible, Rochelle. To climb back up into the sun, though, that is another kind of strength.
On a writerly note, I wasn’t clear whether the anorexia was in the past or part of what she and the therapist were dealing with in the present of the story.
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What does it matter?
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Fair point, Dale. It matters only in that it briefly distracted me from the emotion and power of the rest of the story. And I mentioned it only as an aside. Definitely thought the story and the writing were excellent. And I should have said so expressly; I hope Rochelle knows that I think she’s an excellent writer even when I mention a slight stumble for me as a reader.
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Dear Jen,
This is the kind of story that’s good to look back on. Thank you for your comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This is one of the stories I remember the most. The signals are often visible after some time… but maybe letting it out is the first step towards survival, maybe to melt a little…
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Dear Björn,
As a therapist told ‘Rowena’ if you don’t acknowledge the past you can’t heal which really mucks up the future. There were times she really didn’t believe she had a future. Glad she changed her mind. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This is like a blow to the head! Memories ‘like debris in a whirlpool’ – astonishingly precise and accurate simile showing the state of her mind and her view of her own memories. Really punchy, tragic. Terrible and glorious. A really good story.
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P.S Beautiful image too 🙂
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Dear Lynn,
Thank you for such a wonderful comment/compliment. I couldn’t ask for better.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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My pleasure. Such a great story 🙂
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I always liked this prompt… and of course, your story, Rochelle, although I’m not sure it has an ending. Hope you and Jan are having a great start to Summer.
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Dear Ted,
I’m racing a deadline this summer for novel # 3 the third in Havah’s story. This story did have a happy ending as Rowena faced the past and went on to a brighter future.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very bad things happen to children, sadly the world needs all the therapists it can find.
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Dear Mike,
Fortunately Rowena had good therapists. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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So very happy Rowena is in such a fabulously positive place now.
Not an easy read, subject wise…
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Dear Dale,
Yes, Rowena’s in a much better place. Even though this is the second go around for this story and it took place over twenty years ago it still makes me feel quite vulnerable.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful and sad description of abuse and depression. I too am glad ‘Rowena’ is healing. I give my likes for the post and the writing, not for the content or theme of the story.
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Dear Gabriele,
This is the kind of story no one should have to tell. Rowena still wonders if those things really happened. At any rate, she has moved on. 😉
Thank you,
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This so took me there. I can see her eyes, that expression on her face. Awesome piece.
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Thank you, Shaktiki for such a high compliment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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My pleasure
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Very touching story of childhood sexual abuse and how it affects the survivor. Very sad. I know from experience. 😦
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Dear Susan,
There are too many of us, aren’t there?Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Such a stark and moving tale. It’s so heartbreaking to realize how many people punish their own bodies for things other people are to blame for.
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Dear Joy,
Mind boggling, isn’t it? Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Painful to read.
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Painful to write, too. Thank you, Tracey. 🙂
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A beautifully sad story, my dear, well done.
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Many thanks, Alicia.
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Wow. This is a beautifully sad story and well told as you do. I understand why people did not want to hit the like button. As I was reading it my stomach began to twist as I got the suspicion this one was based on experience. Sure enough the comments let me know that it is so. I am so glad that Rowena has pushed through the eddy and emerged as a vibrant, talented woman sharing her gifts with the world. Thank you for all you do and all you share Rochelle.
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Dear MTO,
This one has me feeling a little transparent. 😉 On the other hand, if this story can give someone else hope and validation…Thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Madge,
Tough subject matter, but the writing puts us right there and we feel the pain. Sadly, this kind of thing still happens. No matter how good the support system or therapy, I don’t think those who’ve suffered this kind of abuse ever really become whole again. I hope God has a special place reserved for the perpetrators.
Oscar Needlemier
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Dear Oscar,
As a doctor will tell you, scar tissue is often stronger than what was there before. Perhaps Rowena might not be whole, but on the other hand she might be stronger than ever. I hope that made sense. Long night of fireworks, frolic and fun.
Shalom,
Madge.
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I like frolic.
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Dearest Rochelle,
Again, hugs and love. “Rowena” is the past. So very happy to know that she has healed/is healing, and has found the right life, the good life. May she be always surrounded by love.
Beautifully told, terrible story.
Peace,
Vijaya
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Dear Vijaya,
Thank you for the comments re my story. And thanks from Rowena for being part of her circle of friends.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That’s a tough one to read, Rochelle, although your writing is as beautiful in pain as it is in any other subject. Hopefully, although there is weeping for the night, joy comes in the morning, though the healing must be slow in a situation like this.
I hope your summer’s going well.
-David
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Dear David,
There were times it seemed like the pain would never end…that it was the end. Rowena’s story does have a happy ending. Thus far, the summer’s going well. Novel completed and awaiting edits.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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What a harsh childhood. No wonder she’s messed up.
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Yep. Thank you, Alice.
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Very chilling, especially the last line. I hope she can find a way back.
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Dear Ali,
I’m happy to report that Rowena did find her way back. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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To damage a little child is the lowest act. Unthinkably cruel. You tell Rowena’s story so well – gets right to the heart of things. I join the previous commenters in applauding her for fighting back and earning her happy ending.
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Something else that’s low is blaming the child for the abuse. Someone I encountered in Twitter(she interacts with some of my followers) was molested by a seminary student and her pastor blamed her and her family, and during the trial at on the predator’s side of the courtroom. Sadly in some of these churches people don’t get the help they need, because psychology is seen as ungodly and the church counselors just preach at people, lecture them on forgiveness, etc.
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Dear Margaret and Kevin,
I don’t know where molesters get off blaming their victims. Part of the sickness that usually goes back to his of her own abuse issues.
Alas, Kevin, some churches are incubators for such things. I say some. Like anywhere, there are those that aren’t. Corruption and depravity are found everywhere. 😦
Thank you and shalom,
Rochelle
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Burying the past doesn’t kill it. Eventually you have to dig it up and shake it by the throat.
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Truer words were never spoken, Liz.
Thank you and shalom,
Rochelle
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So terribly tragic. Well told. The toneless responses really show the impact of those memories.
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Thank you, Laurie.
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Rochelle that is truly awful, but well conveyed.
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Dear Clare,
Awful and, fortunately, in the past…for the most part.
Thank you and shalom,
Rochelle
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Very harrowing indeed and I admire you for being able to write about it.
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Dear Michael,
There was a time I couldn’t have written this story. I hope that in writing stories like these that another Rowena will see her light at the end of the tunnel Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yuck, such awful memories for her to keep hidden, slowly poisoning her mind body and soul. I hope the therapist can help her overcome the trauma she faced at such a young age. Very well done. I just wish stories like this didn’t have that ring of truth…
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Dear Trent,
I’m pleased to report that Rowena did have the right help and support system. The battle was long and horrible but she rose victorious. There are so many horror stories, I wish they didn’t have to be told.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The stories do need to be told so hopefully new ones aren’t created – knowledge can be power. And I would think having them told instead of moldering inside must help the healing process.
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Love the music. I am joining the Friday Fictioneers for the first time. It was fun “Thank you.”
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Dear Lady Bug
Happy to have you aboard. Glad you liked the music.Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I agree with the commentors below on liking: harming children is despicable but this is a message that needs to get out.
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Dear Kevin,
If the stories aren’t told they stay in back alleys and bedrooms destroying lives. If telling a personal story such as mine helps one other tortured soul it’s worth it. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Welcome
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Too sad, Rochelle. Too real, no doubt.
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Too real indeed, Patrick…but happily in the past.
Thank you and shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
How one can live with a secret so life-changing for so many years is unbelievable. The shame and guilt and the belief that you are the only one it has happened to. But Rowena is alright now, isn’t she?
Best wishes
Helene
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Dear Helene,
Rowena is all right now…and telling her story when the need arises. What is amazing to me is how her mind kept the secret from even her for so long.
Thank you and Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
It is amazing how our mind works, trying to protect us.
Best wishes,
Helene
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What a powerful story, Rochelle, with so much emotion behind it reflected in all the words you chose to convey it. Who can blame her for shutting the world and people out of her life. Anorexia was her coping mechanism. I’m glad Rowena got help.
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Dear Amy,
It’s weird how those coping mechanisms, anorexia and cutting, in themselves can be fatal. And yet that abused mind thinks they’re working. Then one day you wake up and realize that your method of control is controlling you. Hard to get off that carousel, but so wonderful when you can. 😉 Rowena is a lucky woman.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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PS Rowena found the best thing for a control freak. Writing. Sometimes creating an ugly character and then giving him is just desserts is the greatest therapy.
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It seems so many of us have coping mechanisms that sabotage the very happiness we seek. Powerful story, Rochelle.
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Dear Dawn,
For whatever reason, we believe ourselves unworthy of happiness. Rowena blamed her body for its betrayal. 😦 Glad those days are behind her.
Thank you and Shalom.
Rochelle
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Many memories make one feel that way, I think 😦
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Dear Vinay,
It’s time to put those memories to rest.
Thank you and Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very sad but powerful story Rochelle. When I read it the first time, I was very disturbed as always when I read this type of crime towards women. makes me sad. I could not comment then. One always reads and feels sad but when it has happened to a friend or a near and dear one impact is very hard. There are many cases in India where the monsters did not leave 2 to 6 years old and killed them brutally and get away. Sad indeed.
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Dear Indira,
There are too many heart wrenching stories. Why do the monsters often get away. And getting away with murder is even worse. So many women are speaking out, which is good. We were usually admonished with “don’t tell or it will be worse.” Even when the memories started surfacing well meaning friends asked if i was just trying to get attention. Maddening.
I’m glad you were able to comment this time. Thank you very much.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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In my country it’s always women they blame. Even police also say if you come out this will happen. But things are changing, but very slowly. How barbaric thing to say that one is coming out to get attention.
Shalom.
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So much for ‘civilization’ in the west.Even today in the States, the woman is often vilified in a court of law, being blamed for the way she dressed etc.
Shalom,
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