1 December 2017

Published November 29, 2017 by rochellewisoff

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Ladies and Gentlemen, the story you’re about to read is true…

Genre: Anecdote

Word Count: 100

GOING CONCERN

            Proverbs 22:6 admonishes parents to “train up a child…”

            No one bears the weight of it more than mothers of sons graduating from diapers to Underoos. I was convinced when one of mine said, “I do” at the altar, he would.

            Toilet training was often touch-and-no-go. Number One-of-Three loved to show me his creations, real or imagined. Once he brought me the empty chair insert and chortled.  “Potty, Mommy.”

            “In a pig’s eye,” I muttered.

            From then on, whenever he made a deposit he’d bring it to me and say, “Pig’s eyes.”

            Oh be careful little lips what you say.

115 comments on “1 December 2017”

  • Cute and funny anecdote, Rochelle. I could picture it. My son was a late bloomer. He finally understood the process when he was three then no problem. He was visiting with my dad’s next-door-neighbor and told her, “I have to go to the bathroom. I better go home now.” She thought it was so cute. 😀 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Dear Suzanne,

      Surely all of us who are mothers have lived this scene. Actually my first son was the easiest. My third was another story entirely. When he was two and a half I told him that big boys go in the potty and babies go in their diapers. His reply? “I’m not a big boy. I’m a baby.” It was useless to fight that logic Magically, at three, he was ready and that was that. 😉 Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

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  • Funny, and too true.
    My darling daughter took a while to forgive when my grandson reported that I said ‘Women are all crazy’.
    This was after a lady went through a red light and almost whacked us on a crossing.
    But, in truth, it could have been anytime!

    Liked by 1 person

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  • Hahhhahhah.
    I loved your story so much, Rochelle and could really relate to it. I especially loved’I was convinced when one of mine said, “I do” at the altar, he would.’
    Thanks for the smiles, your story will rewind more than once tonight, I know.
    Love and regards,
    Moon

    Liked by 1 person

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  • A lovely story. One that I can certainly identify with, although I am still within those days and not looking back on them yet. So poignant and real – the joyful every day stuff that remains and makes us chuckle always x Thanks I really enjoyed it! All my first thoughts are very dark and tense stories – I liked the lightness of this one. Beautifully written.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Dear Anna,

      Potty training is frustrating at times. I did learn with having three, that they aren’t all ready at the same time and forcing the issue only makes matters worse. 😉

      As for dark stories, mine tend to be on the dark side so I’ve lightened up for a while. But you gotta go where the muse leads.

      Thank you for your lovely comments.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

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  • Oh this is a timely story Rochelle. We’re just about to start potty training Hannah. I’ll never mention pig’s eyes during the process. I just my little lips don’t say something far worse when potty training takes that inevitable wrong turn. Great story!

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  • Dear Alice Ludden W(T)F,

    I can’t recall naming any of mine, but I guess it’s not too late to start. After all I’m pretty good at coming up with names, right? I am familiar with the expression “sinking submarines.” I suppose Jan invented that one when he was in the Navy.

    Would you prefer corn cobs or a catalog?
    What’s His Name

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Dear What’s His Name,

      I’ll never forget you. And I can’t speak for Jan. I’ve known who tossed Cheerios in the bowl and made a game out of their little boys sinking them. And we didn’t exactly name it…But you know how those things slip out.

      Shalom,

      Alice Ludden W(T)F

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    • Dear Plaridel,

      I think when parents start training too early, they’re training themselves. At any rate, sooner or later they learn, regardless of the method. Nice to see you back. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

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  • Good story. We all have memories of those potty training days. 🙂 When our grandchildren’s (Steph’s twins, boy & girl) time came to potty train them I made up a little song to the tun of, “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” that went like this, “Tinkle, Tinkle, that is me. Mama said to sit and pee. If I don’t then I won’t be, potty trained when I am three.” 🙂 It worked most of the time, but we had to sweeten the deal with an M&M candy for every pee and poo they did, and a penny too for their piggy bank. They each had their own potties in case they had to go at the same time. They did not want to be outdone by the other. The potty seats had little melodies that played when they peed into them. When they got a bit older they wanted quarters for every time and extra M&Ms. lol

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Dear Joyce,

      So you finally had the experience of training a boy, too. My mom always said boys were easier because my brother was easier than I. I had nothing to compare it to. Three boys, no girls. Shannon was the easiest…Christian the hardest. 🙂

      Thanks for coming by. 😀

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 2 people

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  • I wasn’t seeing your blog site coming up in my feed all the time, so reset it to ‘follow’ again. Sorry. Don’t know how it happened. I like to read all your stories. Got the rest of your books now, too, and in those.

    Liked by 1 person

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      • There was a glitch somewhere down the road with my old followed sites. Yes, I knew about Della right off as I’m on the list of contacts she had that now is kept and monitored by Bob H. I sent off a card to Roy. Wish so much we could have been there for her funeral. Even had an email from her just two days before her surgery this last time. So sad and know how much she will be missed. Did you get to go to the funeral service today?

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          • I imagined that would be the case and not surprised at the turnout for her service. What an inspiration she was and mentor to so many, including Wayne and I. I was just 14 yrs. old when we moved to KC when my mom & dad took the sr. pastorate position there at the church. I babysat for Mike and Mark at that age, and she was like a surrogate mother to many of us teenagers.

            Liked by 1 person

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    • Dear Lish,

      I can’t say this was my favorite part of child rearing. 😉 But I always laughed at this one. The moment he said ‘pig’s eyes’ I knew I’d made a near fatal mistake in teaching language. Happy to share the ‘joy’ with you. Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

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    • Dear Susie,

      You put me in mind of the time, as a cake decorator in a grocery bakery, someone asked for a cookie decorated to look like a toilet to celebrate their child’s toilet training. I still have a picture of it somewhere. I never had such celebrations for mine other than buying them very special underwear. 😉 Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

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  • Dear Jan,

    In my five years in Friday Fictioneers I’ve met so many different writers. Some I didn’t mind seeing them leave others I keenly felt the loss. You’re among the latter. Happy to see you back this week. I find the 100 word helps get the juices flowing in the morning…along with the necessary caffeine. 😉 Thank you for your kind words re my story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  • Oh, man, that was hilarious! I nannied a little boy who dropped the seat on his … well, you know, and then was terrified of the toilet. Had no problem with the bush out back, though. Took months to teach him how to hold the seat with one hand. Oh, the memories…. heheh!

    Liked by 1 person

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  • I woke up from my cough syrup haze and wrote a little poem for this photo, much later, waking up ‘sober’ I read it and decided it was far to disgusting to post. That said, I love your story. Hope to be feeling better and up to writing this week. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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