5 June 2020

Published June 3, 2020 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

Click the frog for adventures in literature!

Genre: Histrionic Fiction

Word Count: 100

ASK FOR MAYO AT YOUR OWN PERIL

“You want your sweet potato chips?”

“Ugh, take ‘em.” Ralph scowled “Give me the regular ones any day. I can’t believe I let you order for me. At least the pastrami sandwich was good.”  

Alice savored the flavor. “For your information sweets pack a more nutritional punch than whites.”

“I’ll give you a punch.” Ralph waved his fist under her nose. “One-a these days, Alice. Pow! Right in the kisser.”

“Seriously. Sweet potatoes have more vitamin A and twice the C.”

She reached for his plate again. He clapped his hand over hers. “Keep your grubby mitts off my pickle.”

*

*

Note: Alice and Ralph Kramden weren’t Jewish but they were New Yorkers which is similar. 😉 So I leave you with these words of wisdom:

110 comments on “5 June 2020

  • I understood the motto at the end of the piece, which made me smile. I recogised that the story depended on nostalgia for a bygone era of television. But I think you probably have to be American to get it

    Liked by 3 people

    • Dear CE,

      Glad you caught the dietary advice. Nothing like a good sweet potato fry (chip) with horseradish sauce. 😉 The truth about Ralph and Alice that made the threats funny was that he was a teddy bear who would never lay a hand on her. She wore the pants in the family. Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

    • Dear Tanille,

      It’s actually a tiny bit before my time. 😉 The endearing part about this match was that Ralph would die before actually laying a hand on Alice. Alice was truly the one who wore the proverbial pants. Enjoy a sweet potato today. 😉 Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Amusing stuff. Certainly nostalgic – I wonder what would happen if I went to my producer today and suggested a comedy series where the husband keeps threatening to give his wife a pow in the kisser – but he loves her really! Changed times indeed.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Iain,

      I doubt your producer would pick it up. And they called them “gentler times.” On the other hand sitcoms are loaded with biting sarcasm, aren’t they? Alice was very good at that, by the way. 😉 That part hasn’t changed. Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Not familiar with Ralph and Alice but I got the drift just fine. And loved the subtext too. Pastrami just doesn’t float my boat, but maybe I should have it with rye and see if that makes a difference. Well done as always.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Larry,

      My dad was a rather rotund Brooklyn-born Jew transplanted by the Army. Jackie Gleason reminded me of him in a lot of ways. As a true New Yorker I’m not surprised you came along for the ride to da moon. 😉

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

      • I have no connection to Brookly..originally from Queens, then Long Island..but I most certainly know that kind of humor so well too. There was a line on the show that stands out, where Ralphie Boy Pal O Mine says, ‘ No Mrs Schwartz this is a house phone. You can’t get Jersey on it. ‘ but other than that, it was mostly for us Irishmen…Shalom

        Liked by 1 person

          • They have a distinctive mindset of their own. You might remember from ‘Welcome Back,Kotter’ that it’s the fourth Largest City in the U.S.. Someone who moved into Brooklyn fifteen minutes ago tells people he’s from there, including a Lyft driver I met from Jamaica(the island, not Queens). They have a large Italian population, unlike other boroughs, which are known more for minorities(blacks, hispanics etc), besides Italians. They seem to be the borough with the most distinctive personality and folklore

            Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Cuzzin Kent,

      As if Ralph would’ve ever laid a finger on Alice. That was the humor of it. She just stood there calmly and waited for him to end his rant and then boldly spoke her mind. Loved them. Glad you laughed. My work here is done.

      Shalom,

      Cuzzin Queen Shelley

      Like

  • I liked the story, however, I do mayo as you are aware, and you haven’t died yet. lol. I do love my pastrami on rye, and you can’t have my pickle. But you always try.

    Liked by 2 people

  • I’ve never had the pleasure of a New York deli. Maybe, someday. Loved the story, as it brought back great memories of laughter and fun. May Ralph and Alice live in perpetuity in television reruns, so the next few generations can enjoy them like we did.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Linda,

      If you’re ever in New York, check out Katz’s Delicatessen on Houston ST (that’s pronounce How-ston…important to remember), you won’t be sorry. Be sure to enjoy the pickled tomatoes. Afraid if I were to have the chance to go again I’d have to set my gluten free diet aside and have a pastrami on rye. 😉

      Happy to take you to the moon with me. 😀

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Dear Rochelle,

    I won’t go into the pastrami vs Montreal smoked meat nor the NY vs Montreal bagel… we shall remain friendly on this here platform 😉 Love the link to the Honeymooners, which, while before my time, who hasn’t (obviously speaking of North America) seen at least a snippet or even used a ‘Pow! Right to the kisser’ or ‘to the moon’ at least once?
    Fun stuff and perfect to lighten today’s mood.

    Shalom and lotsa to the moon love,

    Dale

    Liked by 2 people

  • That’s back when the threat of domestic violence was funny. Those were the days. (That’s a different show.) It was only funny because no one believes Ralph has ever or would ever hit Alice. The buffoonish venting of his frustration is the actual joke. Punctuated by the unflinching, almost mocking look from Alice.

    Fun story. It makes me want to go watch The Honeymooners. I’ve only seen a few episodes.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Nobbin,

      Exactly the running gag. Ralph was all blow and Alice didn’t buy into it for a second, did she? I can only watch snippets of those shows now. They were hilarious and engaging when I was a child, but now they’re kind of tedious. 😉 Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Hi Rochelle,

    Well, I got it.
    I gave up white bread one Lent and never went back. I wonder how many lives I have thus saved. 🙂
    I should (need to?) be doing this. “And Away We Go…”

    Shalom,

    Bill

    Liked by 2 people

      • Of course, Rochelle.
        Growing up, I was so well acquainted with Jewish Rye Bread, it was much later before I discovered there were other varieties. I thought it was a law; pastrami on rye with mustard…all one word. 🙂 But with PB&J, white bread seems right.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Anita,

      It’s a joke that probably doesn’t translate. The joke is that a Jew would be offended by someone eating pastrami on white bread…not literal death. Stay safe yourself.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Yeah, Ralph was never going to hit her. It was only funny because he didn’t really mean it. The quote in the notes was brilliant. Pastrami on white bread is blasphemy! It’s gotta be on rye at the very least.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Eric,

      A good Jewish rye with caraway seeds is the best. 😉 White bread? Blasphemy indeed. Glad you see it that way. As for Ralph and Alice–exactly. I loved the way she let him blow off steam with that deadpan expression she had. Obviously, she didn’t feel threatened, did she? Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Björn,

      The Swedish roe spread sounds divine. I’m a huge fan of gravlax and make it often, too. It’s interesting how many have taken to baking during lock down. Thank you for coming by.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

    • Dear James,

      Some people don’t appreciate sharing their food and recoil at the though of someone else’s hand on their plate. Then there are those of us who see the other guy’s plate as fair game.
      Sweet potato chips are really good. Bon apetit.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Ted,

      When my (very gentile) husband and I were first married my parents gifted us with real corned beef and rye bread from a local Jewish deli. My husband slapped the delicacy on two slices of white bread, slathered it with mayo and added the ultimate nasty, American “cheese.” Thanks for adding your 2 cents worth (or 2 cents plain 😉 ) and the generous loan of the photo.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Dear Rochelle,

    Yes, they were hilarious. And you’re right, Ralph would never have hit Alice. And most times the show ending with them kissing and making up. You’re welcome. Thanks for the memories 🙂

    Shalom,
    Adele

    Liked by 2 people

  • I think my favorite parts of this story may have been the quote at the beginning and the motto at the end. LOL. She is totally right of course that sweet potatoes are probably healthier, but mm, I do love me some starchy and oily fried potatoes. I can see both sides here. I want to say that I have never ordered pastrami on white bread – nor would I – because that is indeed unnatural and wrong. Now give me turkey on rye, and I will be a happy little human.
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  • Dear Anne,

    Oh I never said I didn’t love french fries. Good ole white ones, extra crispy. 😉 The title is a quote from Katz Deli’s menu. I’ve been there. I think they mean it. Thank you for your comments that made me grin from ear to ear.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

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