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Genre: Hysterical Faction
Word Count: 100
CUSTOMER DISSERVICE
As a small business owner, Missouri sales taxes I’ve collected the prior year are due 31 January. For five years I’ve sent in a paper form and a handwritten check. No problem.
This year the Department of Revenue introduced the “more efficient” electronic submission.
Determined to master the system, I kept banging my head and phoned for help five times. Call waits took 45 minutes–minimum. Emails were answered with breakneck-turtle-speed.
Storm clouds of frustration mounted
“Look. I’ve got thirty others waiting,” said one DOR representative.
Two days ago, I sent the paper form and a handwritten check. No problem.
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Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
Love your retirement 🙂
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So do I, Reena. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yeah. There are no owner-serviceable parts on cars either these days. Onwards and upwards!
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Dear Neil,
Technology is wonderful until it isn’t. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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But part replacement is possible with YouTube instructions. I’ve taken to doing my own recently due the inefficiency of dealer service. They wanted three days to do what took me less than one hour. Saved thousands with minimum effort. 🙂
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Ye Gods…tell me about it! But we must modernise, no matter what!…..is disheartening though…
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Got that right, Ain. Whatever happened to “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” It took me long enough to figure out the old system. And I think the problem I kept having had more to do with their server than my ineptitude. Thank you for understanding my pain.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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the problem with new technology is that people who create it sometimes have no idea of what’s user friendly and what’s not
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Dear Arora,
I got the feeling that no one really knew what they were doing in this situation. Hopefully next year will be better. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Sometimes the old fashion way is the best way. How many hours do we waste on hold? I hate to think.
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Dear Tammille,
I’ve worked whole internet jigsaw puzzles while on hold. And why to they have to play the same “music” to keep the waiter entertained?
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Funny how “old school” often works way better and with a lot less hair-pulling… Makes me think of that tomato seller story that went ’round the Internets..
Shalom and lotsa problem-solving love,
Dale
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Dear Dale,
Why can’t they leave well enough alone? She asked of the air. 😉 Tomato seller? I don’t remember that one. Thank you.
Shalom and lotsa stress-free hugs,
Rochelle
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I hear ya, Sistah! Always trying to make it better.
I’ll share the story, if I can find the damn thing 😉
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Yep, easier and more efficient… I am a computer geek who spends his day working with high technology and yet I still use a paper calendar… Perhaps there is no such thing as an old fashioned retirement any more – have fun with your business!
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Dear Trent,
It’s not that I’m adverse to electronic submission. If it worked the way it’s supposed to it would be much simpler. My beef is with the system not working and the level of customer “service.” The old fashion system has worked for me without a hitch for five years. I really think the issue is with the DOR’s server. Ah well, what’s done is done. As for the business…I’m amazed by it. 😀 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m obviously not against technology, but sometimes people/businesses/governments do make it so much more difficult than it needs to be!
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I love “breakneck-turtle-speed.” LOL. Congrats on the achievement of the business and of taxes, which I agree is the worst part of it all. Thanks for sharing this fun, I think mostly-true story!
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Technology these days is the bane of my life, yet without the advances in medical technology I would not be here. A challenging thought for me
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Dear Michael,
Generally I like technology. It makes this interaction possible, doesn’t it? However this tax experience was more than a little, shall we say? taxing.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Anne,
I was pretty pleased with that line, too. 😉 As for the business, I’m pretty amazed at how a hobby and a dream have grown. Mostly true? No fiction here. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yep, sounds like me an Fed taxes last year… still waiting on that, too. Watching the news, I saw them speaking of new taxes on paypal, etc. I smiled, looked over at hubby, and said: Cash wins again!
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Dear Bear,
As three reps said, “When all else fails, do it the old fashion way.” 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great story, Rochelle. I recently had to switch to a different pharmacy, and they encouraged me to use their app for more efficient service. So I downloaded it, but I can’t make it work. I finally picked up the phone, called in my script refill, and had it the next day. The app is still on my phone. Maybe someday I’ll figure it out 🙂
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Dear Linda,
I know what you mean about the apps. It’s not that I’m against the electronic submission. In fact, I’d prefer it if it worked. I really believe the problem is with DOR’s server. A couple of reps even admitted that. It was the two who were rude and dismissive I take issue with. All in all it was a very frustrating couple of weeks. Technology is great, until it isn’t. Maybe Zing and Zang could help me next year. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I think perhaps Z &Z would find our apps obsolete 🙂
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Better stick to the system that works. Modernization is mostly a fail.
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Dear Sadje,
I’m all for progress when it works. I still believe the issue is on their side. I gave it my all. Ah well. Thank you for reading and commenting. It’s always nice to know someone’s listening. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Me too because it makes things easy but when the system or those running it creates problems, then old trusty system is a good backup plan.
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Teehee! If at first you don’t succeed, go back to the old ways! Hilarious, Rochelle!
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Dear Penny,
If at first (and second and third) you don’t succeed, milk it for a laugh. Glad you enjoyed. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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So frustrated when their “new & more efficient “ system is only for the real computer geeks. More frustrating when their “help” team doesn’t understand the word HELP. Good factual report.
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Dear Jan,
I would love for the system to have worked for me. And you know, above all others, how hard I tried. Perhaps they can work out the bugs by next year. Sigh.
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The frustrations of technology! Loving the metaphor for the storm clouds. Well done, Rochelle.
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Dear Mason,
I’m glad you caught my metaphor. 😀 Thank you for commiserating with my frustration.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You’re welcome, Rochelle.
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Congrats on your business. Looks great!
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Thank you, Randy. I’m pretty amazed at how it’s grown.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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But think of all the time you’ll save when it works… or something. I’m glad they still take cheques.
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Dear Jen,
I hope it won’t be as frustrating next year. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Marva the Martian W(T)F,
Tax evasion is serious business. Not only that but selling pictures of wine servings mean you owe a liquor tax as well. It’s a good thing you counted all 732 dependents and got the child tax credit for every orphan in Missouri. Otherwise you might wind up in a Federal Prison where they only serve Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill.
Your local auditor
Adam Up
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Dear Adam Up.
Serving Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill is cruel and unusual punishment unless a lid is included. 😉 But, hey. Bidness is bidness.
Shalom,
Marva the Martian W(T)F
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We are comfortable in our comfort zone 🙂
Congrats for your business venture. Best wishes, Rochelle!
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Thank you, Anita.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Love it!
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Thanks Trish. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I feel your frustration with customer service. Two weeks ago, FedEx was supposed to deliver a package I ordered. They held it for a week. The automated online chat gave me the same information the tracking gave me. “Package not delivered/not attempted.” I tried to call. The automated system spun me in circles. I asked for an agent, and it told me the agents don’t have any further information and sent me back to the main menu. I had to contact the company from which I ordered it to have them contact FedEx to get them to finally deliver my package over a week late with a footprint in the middle of the box. That’s only the latest in the long string of what you aptly called customer disservice.
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Dear Nobbin,
The more automation makes our lives “easier” the worse things get. Sorry about your FedEX situation.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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More efficient, my azz! I feel your frustration, Rochelle.
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Thank for the commiseration, Lisa. 😉 You know my motto: If at first you don’t succeed, write a story about it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, I really like your motto. You are very welcome.
Shalom,
Lisa
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Good to hear ya pays yer taxes, Rochelle.
I write so few checks these days. I’m still using the same book I started in April of 2021, and I’m only half way through. DMV, Tax Offices, and the cable companies are all evil. It’s not technology’s fault.
And Customer Service. What a job. No thanks. Anyway,
Peace without headbanging,
Bill
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Dear Bill,
Customer Service, the ultimate oxymoron, no? I don’t write nearly as many checks as I used to but I do still have the technology and the know-how. Not to mention, I still write in cursive. 😉
As I said to Lisa, “If at first you don’t succeed, write a story about it.” Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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High Rochelle,
I have had the best and the worst of customer service.
It just occurred to me: Your customers pay tax when they buy from you. You pass that on to the government. They owe your for your time playing tax collector. Send them a bill. 🙂
Peace with excitement,
Bill
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That resonates with me particularly right now, trying to tidy up my Mum’s business after the death of my Dad a couple of months back. Mum is old school, cheques and letters, and whilst I know she hates to have an online presence she realises that being so far away from her its the only way I can help a lady get back on her feet whilst still looking after my family and holding my job down. Good take Rochelle
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Dear Shrawley,
You are a gentleman and a scholar. Condolences on the loss of your father and cheers on your support of your mother. ❤ Thank you for your kind words re my story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ah, the innovation of going slower and getting less done in the name of efficient and (not so) ‘intuitive’ upgrades to things that worked quite well till now … 😉
Well written, my friend. I think I know those storm clouds well, pun and all.
🙂
Hugs
Na’ama
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Na’ama Y’karah,
I really wish they could leave well enough alone. No doubt if the electronic submission worked as well in reality as it does in theory it would be great. However, after two weeks of headbanging and angry tears it just was not to be.
Now working the bugs out of my “custom fit” Magic5 goggles. It’s always SOMEthing.
Thank you for the loan of the photo. 😉 Storm clouds definitely fit my mood at the time.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh oh about the storm clouds. Sending some rainbows (with a good bit of purple in them …) and good juju to chase away the goggle goblins and other annoying things. Hugs! N.
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I feel your pain. On line banking has to be just about the most frustrating thing ever. And just when you think you’ve mastered it… hey, it’s been ‘improved’. You must feel so satisfied with the business you’re developing, well done.
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Dear Sandra,
It’s also like Word Press and all of its upgrades. Now they tell me I really need to choose an updated design. WTF. I really like my purple page. Ah one of these days I’ll make the change.
As for my business, I’m pretty amazed at what it’s become. Last year was my best sales year ever. 😀 Thank you for sticking with FF.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The more “efficient” electronic versions usually means more complicated and irritating. At least, for me it does. I resonated with the “storm clouds of frustration!” 🙂 So happy for your small business and retirement!
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Dear Brenda,
I actually retired in October of 2015. And as you can see it’s been anything but sitting back and watching soaps. 😉
I’ve had enough of “efficiency.” Sometimes if it ain’t broke don’t fix it works. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I have to admit I do everything I can online from banking to shopping. I’m not even sure I’ve got a cheque book! As for call centres though, don’t get me started.
It seems your small business is not so small now, well done!
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Dear Keith,
I’m a fan of online banking and shopping. So it’s not technology I’m railing against. It’s this particular government office trying to keep up with the times when they should just leave it be. Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The last time I used my cheque book was to send a birthday gift to a grandson! What bugs me as much as the waiting is the repeated message, ‘Thank you for your patience, your call is important to us, please hold the line’. Important? I wish!
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Dear Liz,
I hate that “thank you for your patience, your call is important…” particularly when it repeats for an hour while you wait. With the same moldy background music. I do still write cheques to my kids as gifts. They haven’t had any trouble cashing them. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’ll join the queue of everybody else empathising with you, Rochelle. Well put. I love ‘breakneck-turtle speed’ – perfect image. Congratulations on your ‘small business’ growing so successfully.
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Dear Margaret,
When I look back at how many pictures I’ve painted over the past five years I’m amazed. I’m even more amazed that prints sell and he commissions come in. I’m a grateful soul. 😀
Thank you for your kind words and empathy. We’ve all been there and done that, haven’t we?
Shalom,
Rochelle
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don’t leven et me start on this. i find it really frustrating like wordpress editor switching from code editor to visual editor. i still can’t get the hang of it.
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Dear Plaridel,
I’m with you on Word Press’s editor. I struggle with it every time.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I understand your frustration. I do worry a lot about the failure of electronic system that can not revert back to the tried and tested ways.
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Dear James,
At least I was able to revert this year to my tried and true hardcopy. We’ll see how it goes next year. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Digital forms and applications can work wonderfully when everything is well organized. But it should never totally replace the ‘old ways’ – not everyone has the right equipment, not everyone feels comfortable with it. And how great is this that your business goes so well? (I didn’t even know that you had one).
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Dear Gabi,
My “business” started out with just my books. I set up a table at some fairs and hoped for a few sales. Then my publisher suggested the coffee table book, A Stone for the Journey and that got the ball rolling with my painting. Soon I had prints and note cards made of my paintings. The note cards are a best seller for me. As I continue to paint, my hobby has grown into a business.
I maintain that the DOR is at fault in this whole technology issue. Hopefully next year will be better.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Breakneck turtle speed – love that phrase! Listening to your voice I felt your pain. I got the clear message that at the start you were embracing the new system, happy to use it. So frustrating that the server’s not working correctly – just glad they still accept the paper stuff.
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Dear Jilly,
I could have saved myself a lot of grief when the first rep suggested just sending the paper form. But I was determined to learn the new system. We see how well that worked, don’t we. 😉 Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Sometimes the old ways are the best ways 🙂 Love your stall 🙂
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Thank you, Ali. That stall just keeps growing. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It’s not the technology that is the problem at times but the men that man them. Good reteirement!
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Dear Neel,
The problem with the people running the show is that Mr. Left and Mr. Right don’t know how to communicate and the customer gets caught in the chasm between them. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Not a business owner but understand the pain of filing taxes. Congratulations on your growing business.
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Thank you, Bernadette. It’s all a learning process.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Love this! And, why are the instructions that seem to be in English actually in some ancient dead language that just looks like English? 🙂 Congrats on your flourishing business!
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Dear Sascha,
Well put. It sounds like English but the words all come out wrong. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ah,the ease of technology, right?
Sounds like a nightmare
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Dear Laurie,
It was a nightmare. Glad I finally went back to tried and true.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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