In Memory of 24682

Published April 25, 2012 by rochellewisoff

Thanks to Madison Woods for the photo prompt and Friday Fictioneers to keep us on our writing toes.

Through vicious barbs and twisted wire the sun had the audacity to shine. Marushka licked the dregs of a discarded sardine tin. Her disappointed stomach howled its outrage. She sank down on the stony ground. Stretching her rawboned legs in the dust she longed for silk stockings to hug her once shapely calves.

From her torn pocket she pulled a mirror-shard and glowered at her reflection. Who was this bald hag? Murderer! No! She’d only covered his mouth so they wouldn’t hear.

“24682.” She slashed a trail, long and deep, through the tattooed number to her wrist.

“Mama’s coming, Dovid.”

44 comments on “In Memory of 24682

  • You weave this story beautifully and there are several great lines, like the audacity of the sun. I have a few questions, but that's OK in a short piece. Most of all I wanted to know if the person she killed was friend or foe – a guard trying to hold her back, or her own child. That would give me more clarity as to whether the wound she is inflicting is just to remove the tattoo so she can find a living child, or to kill herself to join a dead one.The piece is chilling either way, but I'd have liked to know.I'm over here:


  • I really liked some phrases that you have used in this post."Audacity of the sun", "Disappointed stomach" "howl of an outrage". Good play of words!I didn't quite understand what quite happened in the story to be honest. Maybe I need to read it a few more times..Parul


  • It is a challenge to write a complete story in so few words, isn't it? The person she killed was Dovid, her baby son. Unintentionally she smothered him with her hand over his mouth and nose to keep the SS from hearing him and finding them. Unfortunately it's a fairly common story. And yes, she killed herself to join him.


  • Just read this last one. I can see the scene and it works. Real good. Poignant words and phrases. If one can visualize the whole scene in the 100 words used, little else is needed.


    • Dear Al,

      I was going to rerun this one and saw where I’ve evolved as a writer. This was my third installment in Friday Fictioneers. As you can see, I was just one of the gang back then. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on it, too. πŸ˜€



      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re welcome πŸ™‚ It was Friday Fictioneers that started my fiction writing – and instalments with Raynard. And that started me with the idea of creating my own weekly prompt. You were writing good back then, and have increased 100 fold in that time.


  • I remember this one, oh, it’s still just as emotionally wrecking. Congrats on four years! May we see you for many more! πŸ™‚ ❀


  • Where do you think you're going without leaving a comment?

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

    You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

    Google photo

    You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

    Connecting to %s

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


    Paula Shablo

    Lost Imperfect Found

    Self-discovery through self-reflection.


    Welcome to the author page of Eugenia Parrish.

    Sarah Potter Writes

    Pursued by the Muses of prose and poetry

    Sammi Cox

    Author Aspiring

    Neil MacDonald Author

    A writer's journey

    Autumn Leaves

    For those who enjoy fiction


    Keeping it real, one drink at a time

    Native Heritage Project

    Documenting the Ancestors

    Living In Eternity

    If Eternity Is Forever, Am I There Now?

    Rereading Jane Eyre

    Author Luccia Gray


    Catskills Memories, Genealogy, travel and commentary

    e.l. dalke: survivor

    a journey of fractures, in my own words

    Creativity for You

    Posts about creativity from Thomas Ward, Professor Emeritus of Psychology, University of Alabama.

    David Writes

    Life, fiction & other unrealities


    a weekly flash fiction prompt inspired by google maps

    Lori Ericson, Author

    An author's perspective of mystery and more.

    Alyssa Davies

    You Can Never Be Overdressed or Overeducated

    Flights of Fancy

    The Totally Unambitious Blog

    The Off Key Of Life

    Or….Identifying The Harmless Unhinged Among Us.

    What's So Funny?

    Russell Gayer, author speaker

    The Write Melony

    Renowned Writer Extraordinaire - in my mind!

    unbuttoned or undone

    Hang on, Hang on

    A Dalectable Life

    The little and large things making my life delicious!

    Hoxton Spanish Tutor Info

    This site is the cat’s pajamas

    Sound Bite Fiction

    where nothing is quite what it seems


    Vague Meanderings of the Broke and Obscure

    %d bloggers like this: