In Memory of 24682

Published April 25, 2012 by rochellewisoff

Thanks to Madison Woods for the photo prompt and Friday Fictioneers to keep us on our writing toes.

Through vicious barbs and twisted wire the sun had the audacity to shine. Marushka licked the dregs of a discarded sardine tin. Her disappointed stomach howled its outrage. She sank down on the stony ground. Stretching her rawboned legs in the dust she longed for silk stockings to hug her once shapely calves.

From her torn pocket she pulled a mirror-shard and glowered at her reflection. Who was this bald hag? Murderer! No! She’d only covered his mouth so they wouldn’t hear.

“24682.” She slashed a trail, long and deep, through the tattooed number to her wrist.

“Mama’s coming, Dovid.”

44 comments on “In Memory of 24682

  • You weave this story beautifully and there are several great lines, like the audacity of the sun. I have a few questions, but that's OK in a short piece. Most of all I wanted to know if the person she killed was friend or foe – a guard trying to hold her back, or her own child. That would give me more clarity as to whether the wound she is inflicting is just to remove the tattoo so she can find a living child, or to kill herself to join a dead one.The piece is chilling either way, but I'd have liked to know.I'm over here:


  • I really liked some phrases that you have used in this post."Audacity of the sun", "Disappointed stomach" "howl of an outrage". Good play of words!I didn't quite understand what quite happened in the story to be honest. Maybe I need to read it a few more times..Parul


  • It is a challenge to write a complete story in so few words, isn't it? The person she killed was Dovid, her baby son. Unintentionally she smothered him with her hand over his mouth and nose to keep the SS from hearing him and finding them. Unfortunately it's a fairly common story. And yes, she killed herself to join him.


  • Just read this last one. I can see the scene and it works. Real good. Poignant words and phrases. If one can visualize the whole scene in the 100 words used, little else is needed.


    • Dear Al,

      I was going to rerun this one and saw where I’ve evolved as a writer. This was my third installment in Friday Fictioneers. As you can see, I was just one of the gang back then. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on it, too. πŸ˜€



      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re welcome πŸ™‚ It was Friday Fictioneers that started my fiction writing – and instalments with Raynard. And that started me with the idea of creating my own weekly prompt. You were writing good back then, and have increased 100 fold in that time.


  • I remember this one, oh, it’s still just as emotionally wrecking. Congrats on four years! May we see you for many more! πŸ™‚ ❀


  • Speak to me so I know someone's reading me. (Your comments brighten my day.)

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

    You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

    Connecting to %s

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


    Writing from the Soul, Speaking from the Heart

    Carrot Ranch Literary Community

    Making literary art accessible 99 words at a time!

    Magical Stories by Ronda Del Boccio

    Bringing Visions to Life


    Navigating the mountains and valleys of everyday life on the riverbank.

    Our Literary Journey

    Driveling twaddle by an old flapdoodle.

    Addicted To Living

    learning from one crazy experience to the next.

    Philosophy is all about being curious, asking basic questions. And it can be fun!

    Invincible Woman on Wheels

    Conquering the World

    This, that and the other thing

    Looking at life through photography and words

    Kelvin M. Knight

    Reading. Listening. Writing.

    Na'ama Yehuda

    Speech Language Pathologist, Writer, Blogger -- musings, anecdotes, stories, quotes, life lessons and growth

    Diane's Ponderings

    Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.


    Paula Shablo

    Lost Imperfect Found

    Self-discovery through self-reflection.

    Sarah Potter Writes

    Pursued by the muses of prose, poetry, and art

    Sammi Cox

    Author Aspiring

    Neil MacDonald Author

    A writer's journey

    Autumn Leaves

    For those who enjoy fiction

    Native Heritage Project

    Documenting the Ancestors

    Living In Eternity

    If Eternity Is Forever, Am I There Now?

    Rereading Jane Eyre

    Author Luccia Gray


    Catskills Memories, Genealogy, travel and commentary

    %d bloggers like this: