Humor

All posts in the Humor category

26 April 2024

Published April 24, 2024 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Fleur Lind

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The following is admittedly a seven-year-old rerun. I’ve been extremely distracted of late and didn’t feel I could get away with another “my muse didn’t show up story.”…which she didn’t. 😉

Genre: Historical Fiction
Word Count: 100

FAMILY TREE

            “‘And they lived happily ever after.’” Leah shut the storybook.

            Shifra’s raisin-brown eyes, round as bottle caps, sparkled. “Bubbie? Did you love Grandpa at first sight?”

            “He was only eight when we met. Mama took him in…hid him from the khappers, bad men who snatched little Jewish boys from their homes and made them serve twenty-five years in the Czar’s army.”

            “Did she hide him in the closet?”

            “No she was smart, my Mama.”

            “He was like your brother, right?”

            Leah pointed to a tintype on the table of two little bonneted girls and grinned. “More like my sister.

*****

Below is my first attempt at creating a reel on Canva and posting it to Instagram. It works on my end if I click the picture. Let me know how it works for you.

The ebook can be preordered HERE, HERE and HERE! Release Date is June 4! If you’re not an ebook fan, paperback and hard back copies will be available on and after June 4! 😀

19 April 2024

Published April 17, 2024 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

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Genre: Non-Function
Word Count: 100

AROUND THE BLOCK

Who chose this prompt anyway? Oh, yeah. I have only myself to blame. Not only did I post this photo, I snapped it as well. It’s one of those cute little shops in the Cotton Exchange in Wilmington, North Carolina.

One would think, given the place’s rich history, I could find something to write about.

Lemme see. I could write about the Chinese Laundry that resided there in the early 1900s. Or what about the barber shop that was destroyed in a fire? Nope. Google’s leading me nowhere and my mind’s stuck in neutral.

Sorry, y’all.  Nothing to read here.

*******

WE HAVE A BOOK!

LAST DANCE WITH ANNIE is still set for release June 4th. But this past weekend I received two hardback author copies of the book at our Ozarks Writers League conference. My publisher had a few advance copies for sale as well. 😀 The first autographed copy goes to my husband. 😉

12 April 2024

Published April 10, 2024 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Susan Rouchard

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Genre: Anecdote
Word Count: 100

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO PROCRASTINATE

“It’s time to clean this cluttered basement.” Stacks of boxes from our last move wait on shelves to be gone through—later.

Opening a cardboard box, I sneeze at the musty odor. I pick up a tattered paperback and thumb through its yellowed pages.

Bunnicula.

How my now-grown son and I laughed at the antics of the family pets. I lose myself in the adventures of the dog, cat and, of course, the titular vegetable-sucking vampire rabbit.

“Look at the time.” I return the novel to the box. “I’ll get back to cleaning—later.”

Note: Bunnicula was a fun read. And my story is true. I really could use some organizational help here. 😉

And on the subject of books:

My book LAST DANCE WITH ANNIE is available for ebook preorder on the following sights: HERE, HERE and HERE! Release Date is June 4! If you’re not an ebook fan, paperback and hard back copies will be available on and after that date. 😀

29 September 2023

Published September 27, 2023 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Jennifer Pendergast

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Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100

SCHOOL DAYS

Alice chewed her pencil until it looked like it had been attacked by woodpeckers. She groaned. “I detest homework. Why do I have to do it.”

“To learn,” said Jacob. “To develop your brain.”

“My brain’s already worn out from school.” She jutted out her lower lip. “Whose bright idea was this anyway. Homework. Blecch.”

“You could blame the German philosopher, Johann Gottleib Fichte. Or more recently, American politician Horace Mann. After a visit to Prussia, so impressed with their educational system, he brought homework to America.”

“Whoa. How’d you learn all that?”

“Easy.” Jacob shrugged. “I did my homework.”

1 September 2023

Published August 30, 2023 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

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Genre: Partly Fiction
Word Count: 100

In 1953 Gasoline (Petrol to our folks in the UK) was 20 cents a gallon. You could mail a letter for 3 cents and go to the movies for 70 cents. And the list goes on. A few influential people were born that year, including Tony Blair, John Malkovich, Mary Steenburgen and Yours Truly. 😉 September 4 is the actual day which I do share with Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs. of Welcome Back Kotter fame.

AGING IS ANOTHER WORD FOR LIVING

“Seventy,” I say, trying to wrap my head around it. “Seventy? Really?”

            “Careful,” says Dale with a twinkle in her eye. “A lady never tells her age.”

            “Why?”

            “Dunno. It’s just a saying, like ‘lightning never strikes twice.’”

            I once wrote a flash about swimmer Maurine Kornfeld or “Mighty Mo” who’s still breaking records at one-hundred-and-one.

            Last week my ninety-year-old friend Ernie shared his lap lane with me.

            “Big plans for your day?” asks Dale.

            “Yep. I’m going to start my day by swimming my usual two miles while I ponder what I want to be when I grow up.

*Three years ago I wrote about Mighty Mo. CLICK here to read about this amazing lady.

18 August 2023

Published August 16, 2023 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Brenda Cox

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Genre: True Confession
Word Count: 100

SQUARE EYES

Binge watching has become one of my guiltiest pleasures. I confess, I’m a streaming junkie. Through the magic of Netflix and other platforms I’ve been around the world without leaving my room.

My favorites are films from Israel, South Korea, and Japan.

I have become adept at reading subtitles for I eschew dubbing, preferring the actual voices and intonations. Not to mention I’ve picked up a few words here and there.

Chalk it up as a learning experience.

You may ask. What else have I learned?

Across the globe, in our hearts, we are more alike than we are different.

11 August 2023

Published August 9, 2023 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Alicia Jamtaas

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Genre: Anecdote
Word Count: 100

HOKEY SMOKE!

One summer I went with a group to Alaska. It took time to get used to the sunlight streaming through our hotel window until 11:00 PM. The weather was incredible. Nothing like the summer heat and humidity in the Midwest.

My friend and I decided to take a stroll through a nearby neighborhood that looked like any other US suburb. Until we came face to face with Bullwinkle.

“Back up slowly,” said Clint. “Don’t let him know you’re afraid.”

“Too late.” I trembled, fascinated by the moose’s stature and enormous antlers. “Something tells me we’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto.”

This is a true story. Although the quotes might not be totally accurate. 😉 If you’re familiar with Rocky and Bullwinkle you might recognize Rocky’s favorite esclamation “Hokey Smoke.”

Rocky and many of the other characters were voiced by voiceover legend June Foray:

7 July 2023

Published July 5, 2023 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © AJ Wilson

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Genre: Historical Faction
Word Count: 100

WOODSMOKE AT TWILIGHT

           Had it not been for scouting, I might never have seen the great outdoors beyond my backyard. My parents adhered to the eleventh commandment—“Jews don’t camp.”

            Overnights were the best. Following an afternoon hike, we’d gather round the campfire. Our mouths and fingers gooey from roasted marshmallows, we topped off the day scaring each other with ghost stories.

            “My uncle found a man’s head in the grass,” said Lucy in a loud whisper.

            Margo added, “His golden eyes glowed.”

            Back home in my own bed, I wouldn’t sleep for a month without a nightlight.  

            I miss those good times.

23 June 2023

Published June 21, 2023 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot

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There are days and weeks when inspiration is a snap. The ideas flow and stories leap onto the page. Without boring you with the details, I’ll just say this hasn’t been one of those weeks. :/

Genre: All too realistic and hysterical fiction
Count: 100 Uninspired Words

UNINSPIRED

Shelly typed a line from a familiar childhood story, “Run, run as fast as you can. You can’t catch me. I’m the gingerbread man.”

Outside her window, birds chirped, heralding the dawn.

“Nope, not the least bit inspiring.” She backspaced over the sentence and tapped out. “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”

“There. I’ve used every letter of the alphabet. Now what?”

Downing the last of her coffee, Shelly pressed the backspace key again and stared at the photo prompt.

She leaned back and pouted. “I hate it when my muse gives me the silent treatment.”

9 June 2023

Published June 7, 2023 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Lisa Fox

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Genre: Hysterical Faction
Word Count: 100

CHILD’S PLAY

The TV shows I loved as a kid are now retro footage on YouTube.

When did Paul McCartney, the cute Beatle, become an eighty-year-old, albeit nice-looking, grandfather? Man from U.N.C.L.E.’s heart throb David McCallum is pushing ninety.

My favorite toys such as Chatty Cathy and the little red spinning wheel are considered vintage and are available on eBay for three times the original price.  

Somewhere along the line I stepped through Alice’s looking glass. Help me! I’m a child trapped inside an old woman’s body.

“Age is only a number.” I shrug. “Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.”

I had the blonde version. My mom once sat down with her and wrote down all eleven of her sayings. 😀
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