Humor

All posts in the Humor category

22 October 2021

Published October 20, 2021 by rochellewisoff

Apologies for the tardiness of this post. As most know, I schedule ahead. It turns out I scheduled for the wrong day. Again my humble apologies for the error.

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
The ever so clever Keith Hillman designed this one and I had to snag it! CLICK TO JOIN

Genre: Realistic Fiction
Word Count: 100

I’LL HAVE WHAT SHE’S HAVING

“You can’t beat us Jews for food.” Rochelle bit into a thick pastrami on rye and savored the salty meat, slathered with mustard. She wiped the dribbled juices from her chin. “It’s almost a religious experience.”

            “Where’s the mayo?”

            She slapped Jan’s hand. “Don’t you dare, Goy Wonder.”

“May I, at least, have ketchup on the fries?”

“Katz’s Delicatessen was established in 1888 by Eastern European immigrants Morris and Hyman Iceland. Their cousin Sam Katz joined them in 1903. Eventually, they shortened the name from Iceland and Katz to the present one.

            “Do you charge extra for the history lesson?”  

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You’ll find Katz’s Deli on Houston Street (that’s pronounced HOWston). Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal shared lunch there in the movie “When Harry Met Sally.” CLICK to watch.

I’m here to tell you, the pastrami is amazing! If you’re ever in New York City, you owe it to yourself. Don’t forget the pickled tomatoes and seltzer. 😉 Remember to leave a tip.

And if you have an extra 8 minutes or so go to the following link and experience a little of what we’re talking about. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLt5cKJelis

Weekend Writing Prompt – Legion

Published October 17, 2021 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s comment section.

To quote Chief Dan, “Sometimes the magic works and sometimes it doesn’t.” 😉

WORD COUNT THIRTY-TWO

A legion of words

Stomps through my mind

Some march straight ahead

Others veer off

Right

Careening left.

I try to catch them

Make them fit together.

Twenty-eight down

Four to go.

No reason for the picture. 😉 Enjoy the goats. 😀

8 October 2021

Published October 6, 2021 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot

Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100
PHOTOGRAPHS AND MEMORIES

“Antique photographs fascinate me.” Rochelle rinsed her paintbrush. “Wouldn’t you love to know what the people in them are thinking?’

            Russell scratched his chin as if deep in thought. “The kid is probably wishing the photographer would hurry up and get it over with. His father’s thirsty for a tall cold one.”

            “The woman wants to loosen her corset.” Dale leaned back in her chair. “Can you imagine being imprisoned in one of those contraptions?”

            “Dear me, no,” said the grandmother of nine. “I wonder what Zing and Zang would say?”

            “There you go.” Rochelle grinned. “Our next photo prompt!”  

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Weekend Writing Prompt – Portmanteau

Published September 26, 2021 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s Comment Section.

I’ll admit to being on the grammar police squad. My mother instilled it in me early in life.

“Ain’t isn’t proper English.”

            It’s “they were” NOT “they was.” And “was you?” No way. No how.  

“I seen it” makes me cringe.

I beg you on bended knees, for the sake of my bleeding ears, refrain from committing such grammatacide.

***

  • Dictionary.com defines a portmanteau word as one that combines the form and meaning of two other words. Hence “grammatacide” is mine. 😉

WEEKEND WRITING PROMPT – RAMSHACKLE

Published September 19, 2021 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s Comment Section.

It was the early 70’s. I guess you could’ve called it our…

HONEYMOON SUITE

“The rent is $85.00 a month,” said the landlady, cuddling her Schnauzer. “No pets allowed.”

            What can I say about that ramshackle, third-floor walkup comprised of four rooms and one closet? It was our first home together and within walking distance of my school, the Art Institute.

A former tenant had painted the kitchen cabinets red and black. Try waking up to that every morning.

            The walls must have been constructed of foam core board, held together with masking tape. We heard every clever word our next-door neighbors uttered such as, “Oh wow, man! What a rush!”

This is the only picture I have of our first apartment. The rest I leave to your imagination. 😉

3 September 2021

Published September 1, 2021 by rochellewisoff
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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Penny Gadd

Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100

TRUE GRIT

“‘Wanting to be a writer and not wanting to be rejected is like wanting to be a boxer and not wanting to get punched.’” Elise types, continuing with, “Ray Bradbury said, ‘You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.’

            “Harper Lee suggested the writer ‘develop a thick hide.’

Elise’s muse taunts her. “Hackneyed quotes from successful authors.”

            Elise backspaces and taps out, “The author gropes fragile branches keeping her head above muddy waters of despair. That’s depth. Golden verbiage. Pulitzer material.”  

            “You sure about that?” The muse snorts.

            Elise rereads her words. “Ugh.” Control-A-Delete. “I’m going swimming.”    

27 August 2021

Published August 25, 2021 by rochellewisoff
Another Hightway
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The following photo is the PHOTO PROMPT, a cool picture for hot days, depending on your side of the globe. Where does it take you? Tell us in a hundred words or less. 

PHOTO PROMPT -Brenda Cox

I’m doing it again. Taking a story out of mothballs and republishing it for Friday Fictioneers with a new photo prompt. It’s proving to be a crazy-busy summer and my muse is giving me the silent treatment. A few of you might remember this one from 2013.

Genre: Literary Fiction

Word Count: 100

ORDINARY GIRL

            The surgeon told her she’d never walk again.

            Not long after that, Grandpa Farthing came for a visit. “How’s my favorite cyclist?”

            “Crippled.”

            “Pity-party? Here, celebrate with this.” He tossed a book into her lap.  “I enjoyed it as a boy.”

            “‘Around the World on a Bicycle’?”

            “By Thomas Stevens. Rode it on a big-wheeled contraption called a Penny Farthing.”

            “You’re joking.”

            “Nope.”

            Two years later, inspired by Stevens’ determination, she labored to prove the doctors wrong and registered for her first Penny Farthing race.

            The official stared at her signature. “You’re joking.”  

            “Nope, Miss Penelope Farthing at your service.” 

You can find more about Thomas Stevens who rode what was then known as an Ordinary Bicycle  by clicking here . For more in depth reading the book is available on Amazon.com.

Around the World on a bicycle

The  ordinary bicycle was nicknamed “Penny Farthing” for its shape:

Penny_Farthing_Coins
Penny Farthing Bicycle Diagram
thomas Stevens
Thomas Stevens

13 August 2021

Published August 11, 2021 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT© Ted Strutz

Genre: Histrionic Fiction
Word Count: 100

PEACE BY PIECE

“Whatcha doin’ sis?”

“If you must know, I’m working a five-hundred-piece jigsaw puzzle. There.” Mindy snapped a corner in place. “That completes the border. Wanna help?”

Mike donned his baseball mitt. “Nah. Looks like work to me. Why would anyone waste their time like that?”

“Glad you asked. British cartographer James Spilsbury invented the dissected map in 1762 as an educational tool for the Royals’ children.”

“Uh, sis…?”

“Fast forward to 1933. Die-cast puzzles became all the rage. Cheap entertainment to—”

“Yoo-hoo?”

Mindy huffed. “What?”  

“I’m not a history expert like you, but I’m pretty sure that’s John Spilsbury.”

A bit more history of the jigsaw puzzle.

6 August 2021

Published August 4, 2021 by rochellewisoff
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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT© Jennifer Pendergast

Genre: Hysterical Fiction
Word Count: 100

DATE NIGHT

          “Let’s do something besides a movie.”  

           “I’m game,” said Kevin. “Whatcha thinking?”

         “Ice skating” I replied. “The bowling alley just opened a new rink.”

***     

           Donning my rental skates, I visualized gracefully gliding across the ice like Peggy Fleming. As I stood, reality set in. My feet took off in two different directions.

           I managed a faulty stride or two before Kevin seized my hand. We fell and slid on our butts. After a few more stabs at staying upright, he said, “If we hurry we can catch ‘Yellow Submarine.’”

            I rubbed my sore bum. “Milk Duds and popcorn. Extra butter.”

23 July 2021

Published July 21, 2021 by rochellewisoff
Another Hightway
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The following photo is the PHOTO PROMPT, a cool picture for hot days, depending on your side of the globe. Where does it take you? Tell us in a hundred words or less. 

PHOTO PROMPT© Na’ama Yehuda תודה חברה שלי 😉

Some of you may remember this story. I posted it exactly six years ago this week. Different photo prompt.

Genre: Science Friction

Word Count: 100

YOUNGER DRYAS

“The weatherman says we can expect another six inches of global warming tonight.” Kent knelt and shaped a mound of wet snow into a ball. Then he stood and let it fly. “Look out, Taffy. Here comes some of your greenhouse effect!”

The snowball splattered against the back of Taffy’s head and ice rolled down her neck. She spun around. “How can you ignore what’s happening right under your nose?”

“Climate change? Hooey and hogwash!”

Taffy bent and dug a conch shell from a knee-high drift. “Doesn’t this weather strike you as being a bit odd for Florida in mid-July?” 

***

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