Humor

All posts in the Humor category

9 November 2018

Published November 7, 2018 by rochellewisoff

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Please be considerate of 70 or more participants and keep your story to 100 words. Thank you. 

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © J.S. Brand

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Genre: Hysterical Faction

Word Count: 100

ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM*

At the beginning of my writing career, one of my mentors warned me. “The greatest thing an author can develop, besides a good story, is a thick skin.”

            The reviews of my novels on Amazon have been mostly favorable—until yesterday.  

            “Amateurish,” the reviewer spewed. “Clunky. No story arc. The characters are caricatures.”

            Paralyzed by the scathing words, I doubted everything I ever wrote.

            “Pffft,” said my friend. “Every author’s received bad reviews and haters are gonna hate. You can’t take it personally.”

            This morning I found two 5-Star reviews. Did my writing change? Guess I won’t quit just yet.

 

*Don’t let the bastards grind you down. 

Here’s a page from my latest book A STONE FOR THE JOURNEY- the companion to Havah’s Trilogy

Click here to hear my new interview with Paul Reeves

19 October 2018

Published October 17, 2018 by rochellewisoff

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As always, please be considerate of your fellow Fictioneers and keep your stories to 100 words. (Title is not included in the word count.)  Many thanks. 

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Jilly Funell

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Genre: Wish List

Word Count: 100

VANTAGE POINT

She pries my sweaty fingers off the railing, her face lit with a sinister glow. “Come on. Step to it.”

            My life, like a Roadrunner cartoon, flashes before me. Wile E. Coyote, eyes wide with terror, suspends in midair before plummeting 170 meters and landing in a distant poof.

            On the verge of unconsciousness, I croak. “I’m begging, Sarah. Don’t make me do this.”

            “We agreed to go sightseeing whilst you and Dale were here in Portsmouth and the view from Spinnaker Tower is magnificent.”

            Dale shakes her head. “When Rochelle says she’s afraid of heights, she isn’t kidding, eh?”

I hope one day to meet these two in person, but 170 meters in the air won’t be one of my choices of places to see. Sigh. For now I’m happy to meet with Sarah and Dale on Skype. It makes the world seem a bit smaller somehow.  (Yes. I really am afraid of heights.)

 

R IS FOR ROCKET

Published October 14, 2018 by rochellewisoff

This week Pegman goes to Roswell, New Mexico, USA.

Your mission is to write up to 150 words inspired by this week’s location. You can use the image supplied or you can visit Roswell yourself via Google Maps and find your own inspiration.

Once your piece is polished, share it with others using the linkup below. Reading and commenting on others’ work is part of the fun.

In April my husband and I visited Roswell so I took the liberty of using my own photo. No matter what your take on aliens,Roswell is a major tourist trap. Kind of fun but next time I want to go to the Grand Canyon. 😉

Thanks to Karen and Josh for facilitating the fun. 

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Genre: Questionable

Word Count: 150

R IS FOR ROCKET

My son tugs at my coat. “Mommy, can I get the green man souvenir?”

            His sister jumps up and down and squeals. “I want the stuffed alien so I could sleep with him. Say ‘yes’ pleeeeeeease, Mommeeee.”

            I shake my head and glare at my husband. “I can’t believe you talked me into coming to this tourist trap? You can’t walk five feet without running into another gift shop. And they all have the same pathetic junk.”

            Taking his wallet from his pocket, he hands the cashier just the right amount for the toys. “Aw, lighten up and have a little fun.” His eyes glow and spin.

            My daughter’s antennae poke out from under her wig. She cuddles her stuffed friend. “I’m sleepy. Can we go back to the hotel?”

            The teenage clerk gasps. “Y-you aren’t from around here, are you?”

            “Next year, Phlox,” I mutter, “we vacation on Gorgon.”

😎

😎

😎

Shmoozing with Aliens in Roswell

21 September 2018

Published September 19, 2018 by rochellewisoff

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and remember: 

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

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Genre: Whimsy

Word Count: 100

BUMBERSHOOT

Dark clouds gathered, threatening to spoil Eric and Alistair’s sightseeing.

After months of emails and planning, the two blog buddies decided to meet in London since Eric had never been away from the States.

“Did you think to bring a brolly?”  

Eric’s brow furrowed. “Why would I bring a trolley?”

Rain pelted Alistair’s forehead and dribbled into his eyes. “Are you deaf? I said ‘brolly.’ Not trolley. You know. A gamp.” He sputtered. “Can’t you Yanks understand plain English?”

Eric shrugged. “It certainly rains a lot over here. As you Brits say, it’s a good job I brought an umbrella.”

 

 

14 September 2018

Published September 12, 2018 by rochellewisoff

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Please be considerate of 70 or more participants and keep your story to 100 words. Thank you. 

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

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Genre: Some might find it humorous

Word Count: 100

This is based on fact. I recently was called for jury duty. A day spent waiting…and reading. I think I can blame Russell for the inspiration. When I wasn’t sketching or snoozing, I was reading my signed copy of “The Perils of Heavy Thinking.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 

MEMBER OF THE BORED

My day in court arrives. I spend hours in a sterile waiting room with 74 other potential jurors before moving to the courtroom. To pass the time I sketch the man in front of me. 

            Who among us will be chosen to spend the next five days deliberating? Not I.

            So…  

            Will it be the blonde with a rock on her finger the size of Texas? Or maybe the brunette whose attributes are barely contained will catch the judge’s eye. Or what about the dainty young thing in striped hoodie and floral pajama pants?

            The possibilities fire this writer’s imagination.           

***

Not Boring 

A STONE FOR THE JOURNEY

The coffee table companion to Havah’s Trilogy

Click

or HERE

3 August 2018

Published August 1, 2018 by rochellewisoff

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As always, please be considerate of your fellow Fictioneers and keep your stories to 100 words. (Title is not included in the word count.)  Many thanks. 

Note- I am out of town this week so my replies and comments will be delayed. Thank you for understanding. Shalom, Rochelle

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Sandra Crook

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Genre: Realistic Fiction

Word Count: 100

ANNIVERSARY WALTZ

            “Oh how we danced on the night we were wed.”

            Charlene remembers the song the band played for their first dance as man and wife. With his wavy blond hair, Larry was her Prince Charming.

            His hot breath in her ear gave her shivers when he sang, “Two hearts gently beating were murmuring low.”

            An unrestrained belch brings her back to the present. His golden curls are long gone, but his eyes remain as blue as ever. She leans her head on his shoulder.

            His hot breath still gives her shivers when he sings “My darling, I love you so.”

****

NOTE ON MY PROCESS

(not required reading. 😉 )

Without a doubt, there are some of you scratching your heads, wondering how I came up with this story from that photo. I understand. As briefly as possible I will try to explain. At first glance the photo said “Dust in the Wind.” (dry leaves, etc) From there my mind took me to crumbling relationships like marriages that end up being anything but “Happily Ever After.” From there I looked up the lyrics to the Anniversary Waltz. Somehow, my muse decided that my story should have a happy ending. So there you have it. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 😉 

Shalom,

Rochelle

MULTIPLICATION

Published June 10, 2018 by rochellewisoff

This week Pegman takes us caving in Texas in the United States. If you take the tour above, you can go caving.  However, you’re free to visit nearby Amarillo or the Cadillac Ranch if you prefer.

Your mission is to write up to to 150 words inspired by the location. You can contribute a story, poem, or essay. Once your piece is polished, feel free to share it with others using the linkup below. Reading and commenting on others’ work is part of the fun.

Thanks to Karen and Josh for hosting the challenge.

The following story is admittedly a summer rerun. Some will remember the version entitled “Generations” I posted for Friday Fictioneers. I dusted it off, changed the title, added 50 words and, voila, a Pegman story is born. 😉 Some of you might remember it. The photo I chose is the same one I used in July 2015…has it really been three years?

Cadillac Ranch- © Jean L. Hays

Genre: Hysterical Fiction

Word Count: 150

MULTIPLICATION

            “The summer of 1953. What a heatwave.” Great-Gran adjusted the thermostat. “We didn’t have air conditioning.”

            “No A/C?” Fourteen year-old Megan put her DVD on pause. “You really did live in the Stone Age. What did you do for fun? Play with rocks?”

            “Very funny, Missy.” Great-Gran giggled like a schoolgirl. “My boyfriend and I went to the drive-in theater on Saturday nights. If we were lucky there’d be a decent breeze and a good flick like Roman Holiday or From Here to Eternity.

            “Oh I adore those. I caught them on Netflix. Burt Lancaster was really hot in that sex scene on the beach.”

            Great-Gran’s withered cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkled. “I missed that part of the movie, but I think the scene in Bobby’s Bel-Air topped it.”

            “April, 1954.” Megan saw her great grandmother in a whole new light. “Does Gramps know he’s a passion pit baby?”  

 

I think the film clips bear repeating, too. 😉

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