Humor

All posts in the Humor category

27 May 2022

Published May 25, 2022 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Brenda Cox

Genre: Friction
Word Count: 100

ENDURING FREEDOM

Relentless sun beat down on the roof of the cramped enclosure. How long could this heat last? Mopping sweat from her brow, she reminded herself she no longer had to endure incessant demands of an unreasonable ruler.

“‘I am the master of my fate:
  I am the captain of my soul.’”

“How much for this one?” A man pointed to a framed tricycle print.

“$30.00 plus tax.”

“Sold. My wife will love it.”

“Thank you for your business.”

As he walked away smiling, Rochelle grinned at Jan. “Another profitable day under the purple tent. This certainly beats punching a timeclock.” 

Click to check out my ART PAGE

20 May 2022

Published May 18, 2022 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. (Although I can’t imagine what one would want to use this photo 😉 ) It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

The following story is the first thing that popped into my head and begged to be shared. As you can see, I’m literally seeing double. 😉

Genre: Memoir
Word Count: 100

HOLIDAY TRADITION

            During the holiday season we exchanged wish lists ahead of time, so no one received a Chia head or underwear they didn’t want. For grins and giggles, we’d add impossible things to our lists.

            During our leanest years my husband would ask for a shoebox full of twenties. That is, until the Christmas the kids and I filled a shoebox with twenty safety pins, twenty pennies, twenty paper clips, and so on.

            The year I finished my first novel, I added to my list, “A literary agent with a contract and huge check.”

            And my wish was granted. Sort of.

A picture, they say, is worth a thousand words. Please forgive the fact my story requires this photo to be understood. My very clever son, Travis made this little figurine and is one of my favorite gifts of all time.

15 April 2022

Published April 13, 2022 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

Genre: Plain Ole Fiction
Word Count: 100

SUBJECT TO CHANGE

Ted set up a row of chairs in the reception hall. Jessica plopped down on one and pouted. “This is all-kinds-of wrong.”

“Hey sis, ever hear of John Cram?”

“No.”   

“Lemme educate you. John Cram patented the folding chair in 1855. Then in 1947 Fred Arnold created the first aluminum one and by 1957 his company was manufacturing—”

“Ooh, cram your history, Mr. Wikipedia.” Jessica gritted her teeth. Tears stung her eyes. “It’s just not fair.”

Ted hugged her.  “You’re going to be a gorgeous bride tomorrow.”

“What about my garden wedding? It’s not supposed to snow in May.”

8 April 2022

Published April 6, 2022 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © David Stewart

Genre: Historical Friction
Word Count: 100

TRASH 80

            “Isn’t it beautiful?” Jan showed off his latest acquisition from Radio Shack.

            I fumed. “Our electric typewriter works just fine. A computer will end up being another dust collector like your precious Polaroid SX-70.”

            “How was I supposed to know the film would cost a fortune?”         

***

            Several years have passed since that day.  I’ve acquired my own desktop, scanner-printer combo, a laptop for travel and Jan takes sharp pictures with his iPad.  

            He reads the screen over my shoulder and says with a sly smile, “Lemme get you a rag.”

            “Why?”

            “You’ve been at it for hours. You’re collecting dust.”

*Note: Radio Shack’s computer was actually named TRS 80 but became widely known as Trash 80. From there we went to the Commodore 64 and Jan had a Kaypro, a portable computer that I refer to as the Commodore in a Can. All cutting edge technology in the latter part of the 20th Century.

Remember computers in the early 60’s?

4 February 2022

Published February 2, 2022 by rochellewisoff
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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Na’ama Yehuda

Genre: Hysterical Faction
Word Count: 100

CUSTOMER DISSERVICE

As a small business owner, Missouri sales taxes I’ve collected the prior year are due 31 January. For five years I’ve sent in a paper form and a handwritten check. No problem.  

This year the Department of Revenue introduced the “more efficient” electronic submission.

Determined to master the system, I kept banging my head and phoned for help five times. Call waits took 45 minutes–minimum. Emails were answered with breakneck-turtle-speed.

Storm clouds of frustration mounted

“Look. I’ve got thirty others waiting,” said one DOR representative.

Two days ago, I sent the paper form and a handwritten check. No problem.

*
*
*

I’m pretty amazed at our growing small business. Loving “retirement.”

28 January 2022

Published January 26, 2022 by rochellewisoff
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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Genre: Anecdote
Word Count: 100

THE BRIGHT SIDE

Our junior high art teacher, Mrs. Spears introduced Taffy and me saying, “You two need to know each other.”

            We became fast friends. Comparing our latest projects, the highest praise we gave each other was, “I hate you.”

            After graduation we went our separate ways.

            Forty years later I gave her a call. Since that night ten years ago, we’ve spoken or texted nearly every day as if no time has passed.

            A gifted stained-glass designer, she amazes me. My favorites are her handmade butterflies.

            When asked the key to her craft she says, “Band-aids. Lots and lots of Band-aids.”

You’re welcome, Taffy. He he. 😉

21 January 2022

Published January 19, 2022 by rochellewisoff
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Friday Fictioneers and Poppy

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

Genre: Memoir
Word Count: 100
WORLD OF HER OWN

Her fourth-grade teacher dubbed her “Messy Bessy.” Each time the frustrated child attempted to organize her desk chaos quickly returned.

Mrs. Smith moved the girl’s desk to the front of the room. Perhaps sitting beside the teacher would encourage her to mend her slovenly ways.

The kid didn’t mean to misbehave. Reading or illustrating stories she wrote in her head took priority over neatness. She’d simply lose herself in her latest adventure.  

One morning, Mrs. Smith jolted Rochelle from the Ingalls’ cabin on the prairie with, “Miss Wisoff, would you care to join the class for our daily spelling test?”

My granddaughter Olive and her faithful companion Poppy

7 January 2022

Published January 5, 2022 by rochellewisoff
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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Brenda Cox

Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100
FLOWER AND WILLOW WORLD

A thousand butterflies swirl in my stomach as I peer out the window, watching for the car that will bring my Hoshi-chan, my shining star, for a brief visit.

After we left her at the Okiya in Kyoto, six months ago, I cried for a week.

At her Misedashi my heart swelled with pride. In exquisite silk kimono, painted face and elegant jeweled hair, Hoshi, renamed Kikuyu, was welcomed into the secret society of Geisha.

She glided to me on lacquered getas and uttered those words I will forever cherish. “Okaasan, when I come home, please cook me a hamburger.”

Original Artwork © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

31 December 2021

Published December 29, 2021 by rochellewisoff

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

Genre: Questionable
Word Count: 100

HAPPY NEW YEAR…LITERALLY

“All the falderal’s done for another year.” Meg gathered wadded giftwrap and fumed. “Just look at the pine needles littering floor.”

 “Don’t be a Scrooge,” whispered Beth.

Amy frowned. “Where’s your holiday spirit, Meg?”

Meg handed her a broom. “Make yourself useful.”

 Jo opened her brand new, leatherbound thesaurus. “‘Falderal’…’absurdity, baloney, humbug.’”

Ebenezer popped the cork on a bottle of champagne. “Let’s make merry!”

“Grandfather sent goat cheese for the party,” cried Heidi.  

“Then a toast,” said Bob Cratchit.

Asher Lev set aside his paintbrush and raised a glass. “L’chaim!”

Tiny Tim beamed. “God bless our Friday Fictioneers’ muses everyone.”

*Apologies to Louisa May Alcott, Charles Dickens, Johanna Spyri and Chaim Potok.

3 December 2021

Published December 1, 2021 by rochellewisoff
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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © LIsa Fox

Genre: Hysterical Fiction
Word Count: 100

THINK TANK

“The things we take for granted,” said Shelley. “Who amongst us doesn’t ascend the porcelain throne upon arising? Wipe. Flush. Ready to face the day.”

“Run for cover.” Russell rolled his eyes. “The history faucet’s a-fixin’ to spout.”

“Do you know who invented toilet paper?”

“No, but I bet you’re gonna to tell me.”    

Shelley took a deep breath. “Joseph Gayetty in 1857. He introduced it as ‘Medicated Paper.’

“Great Scott!”

“Precisely! The Scott brothers marketed their ScotTissue in 1879. Although Seth Wheeler patented his version in 1891.

“Well, everybody poops.” Russell snorted. “One could say they saved our butts.”

*
*
*

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