SAFE

Published August 9, 2012 by rochellewisoff

Without a lot of explanation or intro I give you this week’s offering for Friday Fictioneers.

“Your services are no longer needed.”

Twenty-three years of loyalty to the company. Terminated. Snap! Just like that.

Along with other victims, Elise sued for age discrimination and won.

No longer defined by job description, motherhood, widowhood or any other hood, she left the Midwest behind.

Thousands of miles away, the ocean’s slup-slosh sated her thirsty ears. The salt-laden breeze sent shivers of delight through her bare arthritic shoulders.

Then she dove headlong into the wake. The sea welcomed and caressed her like a long-lost lover. Her eyes feasted on purple coral, mollusks and striped clownfish.

Elise was home!

44 comments on “SAFE

  • Hi Rochelle,I enjoyed this story, with its uppity older woman with arthritis finally coming home to the surf. I, too, thought the "hoods" sentence worked very well. I'm with Doug about the "Your" fix. I loved the slup-slosh and the bare arthritic shoulders, great imagery!cheers,Lorelei

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  • Hi Rochelle,
    I absolutely loved this story as it closely parallels my life. You nailed the joy and freedom and sense of home that those under the spell of the sea feel. Her soft susurration soothes the senses. I'm jumping in, too.Aloha,Doug

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  • Thanks for reading my Friday Fictioneers "shell" prompt-and for helping me find your story. Nice take in the prompt, I like the "finally going back where I belong" stories-often write such stories myself. So many of us feel this longing, whether we act on it or not! beebeesworld

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  • I love and miss the ocean, so this touched me. Very nice, Rochelle! Look forward to your readings next weekend!–Janhttp://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/fridayfictioneers-flashfiction-shell-phone/

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  • Hmmm! And my only negative comment was the choice of'slup-slosh' (see comment above). Love this! Especially since I think I'll be retiring by the end of this year and we're planning our future road trips!

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  • I wonder what it is that makes us feel at home in a place we move to? I found it here in my husband's home county of Dorset – also by the sea. Loved the story – it made me glad I didn't have to wait till the 'arthritic' days before I came home.

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  • This was great! I wondered where it was going when you started with her termination, but it was really nice the way you went through the firing, to the lawsuit, to the coast and made it all seem like a natural progression. The relief of the water really comes across that way. Great story!

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  • Nice! — Glad she won!Loved "the ocean’s slup-slosh sated her thirsty ears."You can probably eliminate the exclamation point at the end (it feels like it's trying too hard).Thanks for visiting mine. 🙂

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