25 January 2013

Published January 23, 2013 by rochellewisoff

You’re calling from WHERE???image Sorry…wrong number!

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LOOKING FOR FRIDAY FICTIONEERS? YOU’RE IN THE WRITE PLACE!

We are a growing community of blogging writers who come together each week from all parts of the globe to share individual flash fictions from a single photo prompt. The prompt goes up early Wednesday morning  CST to give each writer time to compose a story by Friday. Some use the photo as a mere inspiration while others use it as an illustration. Use your imagination and think outside the box.

WARNING! This is an addiction for which there is no 12 step recovery program.

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THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

THE RULES:

  • Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments.
  • MAKE SURE YOUR LINK  IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH FICTION. (Should you find that you’ve made an error you can delete by clicking the little red ‘x’ that should appear under your icon. Then re-enter your URL. (If there’s no red x email me at Runtshell@aol.com. I can delete the wrong link for you).Thanks to Blogspot bloggers for disabling their  CAPTCHAs.  
  • Make note in your blog if you’d prefer not to have constructive criticism.
  • ***************
  • THIS PAGE  IS “FRIDAY FICTIONEERS CENTRAL” AND IS NOT  THE PLACE TO PROMOTE POLITICAL OR RELIGIOUS VIEWS.  

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOUR STORY AND POLICING  COMMENTS. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DELETE  THE ONES YOU CONSIDER OFFENSIVE.  

  PLEASE EXERCISE DISCRETION  WHEN COMMENTING ON A STORY! BE RESPECTFUL.

SHOULD SOMEONE HAVE SEVERE OR HOSTILE DIFFERENCES OF OPINION WITH ANOTHER PERSON IT’S MY HOPE THAT THE INVOLVED PARTIES WOULD TAKE IT TO EMAIL OR ANOTHER METHOD OF PRIVATE MESSAGING.

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This week’s PHOTO PROMPT is from Renee Heath. A pleasant picture for those of us in cold winter climates.

Copyright-Renee Homan Heath

Copyright-Renee Homan Heath


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*Genre: Historical Fiction*

PENANCE

                                                3 December in the year of our Lord 1765

Dearest Catherine,

            It is with deep regret I write that I shan’t return to England. I cannot for I would not have you plight your troth to a murderer.

            Now I must remain to make amends.  

            At the first the savage misliked me and I feared him. But over time we became friends. Together we laughed and fished the Seminole way.

            Surely these people threaten us with war. Yet it was neither my musket nor my dagger that felled my warrior brother, but my white man’s curse—smallpox. 

            Penitently yours,

                        Jonathan 

116 comments on “25 January 2013

  • “Hello. This is the Belton Crematorium. I need to ask a few questions concerning your wishes for the disposal of ashes you recently requested.we….hello? Hello!? Is this Mrs…..?”

    Ha Ha. Couldn’t resist this, Rochelle. 🙂

    Like

  • Your words fit the writing of the period perfectly. I really liked that he saw bringing the smallpox as murder, even though he didn’t mean it that way. I doubt his outlook was that of many at the time, unfortunately. He sounds like a very nice man. Too bad he didn’t give her the chance to grant him forgiveness, even though he couldn’t forgive himself.

    janet

    Like

  • that was a very unexpected ending in Jonathan’s letter..and it also shows people’s moral standing in 1765..words like ‘plight your troth’ reminds one of novels written in earlier days..well written

    Like

  • That was a great historical fiction story. Your words and style for that time period is so convincing, and I can imagine the man writing the letter conveying his heartache over loosing a friend, and his regrets to not be joining his beloved Catherine.

    Like

  • oh.. this made my knees weak! i’m such a sucker for historical romance! he really seems like a noble man.. a hero! and i can picture the heroine too, she’s gotta be one strong woman…totally captured my heart.

    Like

  • you began with “at the first…” was it common then to include “the”? today, we’re more likely to say “at first.” however, this wasn’t written “today” but centuries ago. well done.

    Like

  • I can think of far more than a mere 100 words for this photo… have tucked it into my inspiration file for a scene in Fragments, but I’m no where near where I need that scene to be at this moment. It speaks to me of really needing to be right near the crux, the pivotal moment where the whole story hangs on the balance between the sane and insane…the healthy and sick… the bridge to heaven or hell. I just love bridges and what they can lead to or from, they are soo very inspirational. Thank you for posting this…

    Like

  • Rochelle,
    First of all I have to say it was a very clever to use the letter to tell the story. And the insight that smallpox could be murder also gives a lot of depth to the story.

    Part of my vacation in Florida I spent in San Augustine and the images from the history come back to me.

    Tack 🙂 Björn

    Like

  • A great take on the time period. You examine race and ethnic relations which, during that time period, were as shaky as they were undefined. How does one react properly to the unknown? That’s a hard question to answer. And, through your work, I think you explore the, albeit accurate, sad dynamic between Old World and New World inhabitants.

    Like

  • You outdid yourself again, Rowena. Every week I read your story and say to myself, “That’s as good as it gets.” Then, the next week, you come back with something even better.

    Sad, but true story. White man’s diseases killed far more natives than guns or swords.

    Like

    • Dear Roberto,
      Thank you for such magnificent praise. This story had me doing quite a bit of research. If I’d done this much studying in high school I’d have been a straight A student. Better late than never,eh?
      Shalom,
      Rowena

      Like

  • Also, just want to say — feel free to say anything about my stories at any time. I’ve learned two important things over a lifetime of writing: 1. No one writes a story that EVERYONE likes, no matter how well-written it is. Sometimes people just won’t like what I write, and that’s really okay. 2. Every writer, no matter how experienced and creative, can learn from other people and their experience. Even when people make constructive criticism that I don’t agree with, I do appreciate the fact that their criticism gives me the opportunity to double-check what I wrote and be sure it says what I really intended it to say. If I double-check and find I’m still happy with it, their criticism (even if I threw it out) has done me a great service.

    Thanks for this challenge. I know I won’t be able to participate every week, but when I can, it’s great fun and great discipline.

    Like

      • After I made this comment, I got to thinking about a particular experience I had several years ago. I thought you might get a kick out of it: I knew a man (professional businessman) who was extremely intelligent — but extremely dull. Now, I say that in the kindest way possible, for I like this man very much, but he was seriously pedantic and laboriously detailed in everything he undertook. Talked only when necessary, and then only to say the most necessary words. And definitely showed NO inclination toward any kind of creativity. But he was an exceptionally good copy editor and could find typos and misplaced incidental details better than anyone who ever read my work. So I often passed my work on to him before it went into a publisher’s hands.

        When he read my novel “Quenton’s Honor” (which later became the most popular novel I ever wrote), he did all the basic editing (great job), but then he started talking to me about a rescue scene that comes a little past midway. He said he just didn’t see that scene as being effective because it lacked enough detailed action. I asked a few questions for clarification, and, without any warning, he got up from his desk, walked to the other end of the room, and suddenly became a different person!

        This, slow, methodical, totally introverted man began to physically act out the scene right in front of me (playing all the parts), and, in about 10 minutes, one whole chapter of my book took a dramatic turn.

        I could not believe he had it in him! But that man’s suggestion turned that entire chapter around and, without doubt, made the book much, much better. It just goes to prove that the most unlikely people can be extremely helpful to a writer if that writer is open and honest.

        To this day, I can trust this man to be my most brutally honest critic for every piece I write. And even though I don’t agree with every single suggestion he makes, I always spend time trying them out, because more than half the time, he’s right.

        Like

  • love the letter idea to tell another sad historical event…you made the characters seem very real & i could see Jonathan grieving as he wrote his letter.
    the clip you added was great too! lyrics & singer….excellent! ❤

    Like

  • Histroy carries so many stories that we may never know. Thanks for giving us a peek at one that we can use to feed our imaginations. You make it feel as if we looked over his shoulder as he wrote while staring out at the crashing waters.

    Like

  • You packed a lot of history into those few words. Congratulations on that and also the ill-fated love story angle. I enjoyed the You Tube video too. I understand ‘Pocahontas’, coming to England after her marriage to John Wolfe, died in England, of Smallpox.

    Like

    • Dear Keli,
      I don’t think a friendship between an Englishman and a Seminole was out of the question. In any case the operative word is “fiction”. Why not?
      Glad you liked it. Thanks for commenting.
      Shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • Dear Rochelle,

    Penance rings true, from the language to the self actualized individual dismayed at the mayhem his presence has helped unleash on an innocent people. Once again you have mastered the prompt and delivered a great 100 word story for your fans and fellow bus riders.

    Good job.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

    • Dear Doug,
      Thank you for taking time after your tournament to drop by and comment. Your realization of my intent and praise go beyond encouraging. (I’ll have to butter my ears to get my head through the door.)
      Shalom,
      Rochelle

      Like

  • I love the language. I’ve heard that when writing historical fiction it helps to read letters from that time period, especially for dialogue. I’m guessing you’ve either done that or you lived in the 1700s. 🙂

    Like

    • Dear Sheila,
      Hush, my dearest. I shouldn’t want my secret life as a time traveler to get out. ;). I’ll admit to major influence from one of my favorite authors, Geraldine Brooks and her novels “Year of Wonders” and “Caleb’s Crossing”.
      Happy you liked my story.

      Like

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