You’re calling from WHERE??? Sorry…wrong number!
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LOOKING FOR FRIDAY FICTIONEERS? YOU’RE IN THE WRITE PLACE!
We are a growing community of blogging writers who come together each week from all parts of the globe to share individual flash fictions from a single photo prompt. The prompt goes up early Wednesday morning CST to give each writer time to compose a story by Friday. Some use the photo as a mere inspiration while others use it as an illustration. Use your imagination and think outside the box.
WARNING! This is an addiction for which there is no 12 step recovery program.
THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
THE RULES:
- Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments.
- MAKE SURE YOUR LINK IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH FICTION. (Should you find that you’ve made an error you can delete by clicking the little red ‘x’ that should appear under your icon. Then re-enter your URL. (If there’s no red x email me at Runtshell@aol.com. I can delete the wrong link for you).Thanks to Blogspot bloggers for disabling their CAPTCHAs.
- Make note in your blog if you’d prefer not to have constructive criticism.
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THIS PAGE IS “FRIDAY FICTIONEERS CENTRAL” AND IS NOT THE PLACE TO PROMOTE POLITICAL OR RELIGIOUS VIEWS.
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOUR STORY AND POLICING COMMENTS. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DELETE THE ONES YOU CONSIDER OFFENSIVE.
PLEASE EXERCISE DISCRETION WHEN COMMENTING ON A STORY! BE RESPECTFUL.
SHOULD SOMEONE HAVE SEVERE OR HOSTILE DIFFERENCES OF OPINION WITH ANOTHER PERSON IT’S MY HOPE THAT THE INVOLVED PARTIES WOULD TAKE IT TO EMAIL OR ANOTHER METHOD OF PRIVATE MESSAGING.
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This week’s PHOTO PROMPT is from Renee Heath. A pleasant picture for those of us in cold winter climates.
*Genre: Historical Fiction*
PENANCE
3 December in the year of our Lord 1765
Dearest Catherine,
It is with deep regret I write that I shan’t return to England. I cannot for I would not have you plight your troth to a murderer.
Now I must remain to make amends.
At the first the savage misliked me and I feared him. But over time we became friends. Together we laughed and fished the Seminole way.
Surely these people threaten us with war. Yet it was neither my musket nor my dagger that felled my warrior brother, but my white man’s curse—smallpox.
Penitently yours,
Jonathan
That’s a phenomenal picture of you on the telephone. I thought it was the photo prompt for this week and I was already trying to think of a story. 🙂
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That would be amusing I’m sure, David.
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Me too. The beach scene is more flexible (to write about). 😛
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WHEW! You don’t know what a relief it was to discover the second photo. For a minute, you had me afraid that I’d have to write you into Angelique’s story! 🙂
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That would have been too merciful…
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Ooh, Ted’s getting snippy…
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I’m feeling the love.
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🙂
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I have a poetic story being formed inside my head… 🙂
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Oooooo, it’s that phone. Why did you answer it???
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Oh Rochelle, I’m honored you chose my photo. I’ve got a great story already forming in my head. Thank you hon.
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That is a very inviting photo, Rene… I can almost feel the sand between my toes. Beautiful elements all captured together…
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Let me tell you it was a beautiful day. I stood on the beach, felt the salt spray on my lips and wished I never had to leave. Water is my element. My life.
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I know the feeling, Renee. I’m a landlocked water-baby myself. It is a beautiful picture. Thank you for sharing it with us.
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It served as my daughter’s wedding aisle. It was a perfect day. Perfect.
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Rochelle…thanks for the laugh!
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On the house, Tom. There were so many phone calls from the great beyond last week I couldn’t resist.
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Why would you? It’s your Book cover.
Tom
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And on the other end of the line is…
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“Hello. This is the Belton Crematorium. I need to ask a few questions concerning your wishes for the disposal of ashes you recently requested.we….hello? Hello!? Is this Mrs…..?”
Ha Ha. Couldn’t resist this, Rochelle. 🙂
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Great one, Joyce. You nailed perfectly 🙂
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Pardon me. I type with a stutter and a lisp. Joyce nailed IT perfectly. Now, I feel better.
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Thank you. I had to reply to that one. 🙂
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Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Glad you didn’t resist, Joyce.
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Sometimes, I am as much off the wall as you are Rochelle, with posting that pic. That was a good way to start off a FF Wednesday. Now, I hope you don’t have to deal with any real calls you don’t want. 🙂 By chance does that phone really work? I have one exactly like it, only mine is a real antique I’v had since I was a kid. My dad confiscated it when I first found it in an old house we lived in, then later he restored it to give back to me. I display it proudly, but don’t get any calls on it. 🙂
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My phone’s a facsimile with a dial…no connections. We used it for a prop in the play Kent and I wrote.
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Oh, That must have been a fun prop to use. I would like to read that play if you want to forward to me sometime.
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Man, I wouldn’t want to interrupt a call here…
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Your words fit the writing of the period perfectly. I really liked that he saw bringing the smallpox as murder, even though he didn’t mean it that way. I doubt his outlook was that of many at the time, unfortunately. He sounds like a very nice man. Too bad he didn’t give her the chance to grant him forgiveness, even though he couldn’t forgive himself.
janet
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Dear Janet,
Thanks for the lovely comment. Even as I wrote this I wondered myself how many Europeans thought themselves responsible for the plagues they unwittingly carried.
Shalom
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I was a little fearful when I saw this first photo myself. The second one was inspirational though and I am a tad bit proud of this week’s contribution, if I do say so myself.:)
So tell me..is Jonathan gay?
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Nope.
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Lol..okay. See what I know about 18th century England!
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that was a very unexpected ending in Jonathan’s letter..and it also shows people’s moral standing in 1765..words like ‘plight your troth’ reminds one of novels written in earlier days..well written
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That was a great historical fiction story. Your words and style for that time period is so convincing, and I can imagine the man writing the letter conveying his heartache over loosing a friend, and his regrets to not be joining his beloved Catherine.
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Dear Joyce,
Thank you for your perceptive comment. Mission accomplished. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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oh.. this made my knees weak! i’m such a sucker for historical romance! he really seems like a noble man.. a hero! and i can picture the heroine too, she’s gotta be one strong woman…totally captured my heart.
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Thank you, kz, Interesting that you saw it that way.
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you began with “at the first…” was it common then to include “the”? today, we’re more likely to say “at first.” however, this wasn’t written “today” but centuries ago. well done.
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I almost changed that. I think it was one of those “I didn’t backspace far enough” issues. But when I read it again it just felt right for the time.
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Dear Lady Rochelle,
There are so many conflicting emotions layered into your charming missive. You made great use of the old style of language and historical context too.
Humbly yours,
David Stewart
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Dear David,
I’m humbled by your compliments. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I loved the picture and especially your story!
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Twist on that one! I didn’t see it coming! I love that.
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/01/23/friday-fictioneers-walkway-to-wonder-genre-sci-fi/
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Dear Scott,
Glad you liked my little story this week. it was a bit of an experiment for me. 😉
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Rochelle,
Loved the voice…well done.
Tom
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Much thanks, Tom. Nice of you to voice a positive comment.
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Don’t I always?
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Of course. Looks like my pun failed.
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Hit me over the head with it next time…I’m a little thick.
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Wow.. Loved the letter and the language.. The emotions of Jonathan depicted with so much clarity. And that ending,, surely wasn’t expecting that..
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Thank you, Muzer. I’m happy that my intent was clear to you. A sad piece of history for sure.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The language was spot-on. Very well done, enjoyed this, and the you-tube clip.
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For you to say so, Sandra, means a lot. Thank you.
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I can think of far more than a mere 100 words for this photo… have tucked it into my inspiration file for a scene in Fragments, but I’m no where near where I need that scene to be at this moment. It speaks to me of really needing to be right near the crux, the pivotal moment where the whole story hangs on the balance between the sane and insane…the healthy and sick… the bridge to heaven or hell. I just love bridges and what they can lead to or from, they are soo very inspirational. Thank you for posting this…
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The blue froggy link doesn’t work for me. Sorry. But I will enjoy the prompts! 🙂
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Rochelle,
First of all I have to say it was a very clever to use the letter to tell the story. And the insight that smallpox could be murder also gives a lot of depth to the story.
Part of my vacation in Florida I spent in San Augustine and the images from the history come back to me.
Tack 🙂 Björn
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Dear Bjorn,
It makes me happy that you recognize the setting as well as like the story.
Shalom, Rochelle
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Great story! The language really captures the time period and I really felt his guilt. So sad 😦
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A great take on the time period. You examine race and ethnic relations which, during that time period, were as shaky as they were undefined. How does one react properly to the unknown? That’s a hard question to answer. And, through your work, I think you explore the, albeit accurate, sad dynamic between Old World and New World inhabitants.
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Dear FOL,
What can I say to such a stunning comment? Thank you. Happy you understood my intent.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Written with a quill pen… Well done, Rochelle!
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This rang so true and your use of language painted the picture of a sensitive soul.. Well done.
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Thank you, Anne. Languages are a passion of mine be they foreign or archaic.
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The language of this piece is fantastic. Did you find yourself waxing lyrical in eighteenth century vernacular for the rest of the day?!
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Dear El,
Indeed. I find that since I’ve been writing in earnest I have trouble with common conversation. Any one else find this to be true?
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You’re a poser! haha!
Very nice story. Love the old school Brit English.
But I miss the context. What is this about?
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Hi Parul,
Did you happen to click the link at the end of the story? That might give a little insight as to what this story’s about.
It’s a rather sad bit of American history.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You outdid yourself again, Rowena. Every week I read your story and say to myself, “That’s as good as it gets.” Then, the next week, you come back with something even better.
Sad, but true story. White man’s diseases killed far more natives than guns or swords.
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Dear Roberto,
Thank you for such magnificent praise. This story had me doing quite a bit of research. If I’d done this much studying in high school I’d have been a straight A student. Better late than never,eh?
Shalom,
Rowena
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Very nice job, Rochelle. The letter was the perfect format.
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Thank you, Sandra,
It was a bit of an experiment for me and, happily, it worked. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Also, just want to say — feel free to say anything about my stories at any time. I’ve learned two important things over a lifetime of writing: 1. No one writes a story that EVERYONE likes, no matter how well-written it is. Sometimes people just won’t like what I write, and that’s really okay. 2. Every writer, no matter how experienced and creative, can learn from other people and their experience. Even when people make constructive criticism that I don’t agree with, I do appreciate the fact that their criticism gives me the opportunity to double-check what I wrote and be sure it says what I really intended it to say. If I double-check and find I’m still happy with it, their criticism (even if I threw it out) has done me a great service.
Thanks for this challenge. I know I won’t be able to participate every week, but when I can, it’s great fun and great discipline.
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I agree with you, Sandra. While there have been times I don’t agree with someone’s crit or opinion, there have been more times I’ve learned from it.
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After I made this comment, I got to thinking about a particular experience I had several years ago. I thought you might get a kick out of it: I knew a man (professional businessman) who was extremely intelligent — but extremely dull. Now, I say that in the kindest way possible, for I like this man very much, but he was seriously pedantic and laboriously detailed in everything he undertook. Talked only when necessary, and then only to say the most necessary words. And definitely showed NO inclination toward any kind of creativity. But he was an exceptionally good copy editor and could find typos and misplaced incidental details better than anyone who ever read my work. So I often passed my work on to him before it went into a publisher’s hands.
When he read my novel “Quenton’s Honor” (which later became the most popular novel I ever wrote), he did all the basic editing (great job), but then he started talking to me about a rescue scene that comes a little past midway. He said he just didn’t see that scene as being effective because it lacked enough detailed action. I asked a few questions for clarification, and, without any warning, he got up from his desk, walked to the other end of the room, and suddenly became a different person!
This, slow, methodical, totally introverted man began to physically act out the scene right in front of me (playing all the parts), and, in about 10 minutes, one whole chapter of my book took a dramatic turn.
I could not believe he had it in him! But that man’s suggestion turned that entire chapter around and, without doubt, made the book much, much better. It just goes to prove that the most unlikely people can be extremely helpful to a writer if that writer is open and honest.
To this day, I can trust this man to be my most brutally honest critic for every piece I write. And even though I don’t agree with every single suggestion he makes, I always spend time trying them out, because more than half the time, he’s right.
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I should have said he acted out the scene AS HE SAW IT — rather than the way I had written it. His version was much better.
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I applaud how much work you put into your flash fiction. You really create a work of art. Beautiful, Rochelle. Truly.
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Thank you, Debra. Sometimes I question myself. Am I over the top? Nah. 😉 Truthfully I love the research as much as the writing.
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Very insightful and, unfortunately, all too accurate. I agree you capture the letter-writing mien of the era. Nicely done.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/and-when-we-go-back-to-the-sea/
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Thanks, Maggie. Glad you liked it.
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Very nice twist at the end, Rochelle, when we find out he is penitent not for some passionate or alcohol-crazed act, but for merely being who he was. Well done!
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love the letter idea to tell another sad historical event…you made the characters seem very real & i could see Jonathan grieving as he wrote his letter.
the clip you added was great too! lyrics & singer….excellent! ❤
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Thanks, Sunshine. I’m happy that you watched the video. It just seemed to be the perfect epilogue for this piece.
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Oh my goodness – poignancy and tone are both fabulous, Rochelle. And using a letter to hold the story is a brilliant idea. I’m well impressed. 😉
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Thank you Joanna. I’m happy you liked it.
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This was great Rochelle. A complete tale told in that wonderful vehicle of communication – the letter.
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Thanks LIndy,
It was a bit of an experiment for me that worked. Loved yours this week,, too.
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Histroy carries so many stories that we may never know. Thanks for giving us a peek at one that we can use to feed our imaginations. You make it feel as if we looked over his shoulder as he wrote while staring out at the crashing waters.
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Thank you, Joe. I’m pleased to oblige and feed. Glad it rang true for you.
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You packed a lot of history into those few words. Congratulations on that and also the ill-fated love story angle. I enjoyed the You Tube video too. I understand ‘Pocahontas’, coming to England after her marriage to John Wolfe, died in England, of Smallpox.
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Thanks Ann,
Pocahontas’ story is a sad one.
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As the guy in my last FF said, every criminal has his motivations. This guy came in friendship, but the effect was the same. We can feel his grief, Rochelle. Well told!
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Thanks Jen. To know that you felt Jonathan’s grief…well…compliments don’t come much higher for a writer.
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Hi everyone I’m sharing this week.
http://wp.me/p28tjX-Eh
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Hi Rochelle,
Great historical piece and you capture the formality of the language of the era perfectly. If only all the white people had felt this guilty over the deaths of Native Americans! Ron
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Interesting approach to this prompt. Tragic and tender. I wonder if people really did that kind of thing.
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Dear Keli,
I don’t think a friendship between an Englishman and a Seminole was out of the question. In any case the operative word is “fiction”. Why not?
Glad you liked it. Thanks for commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I was thinking of the penitence thing. I’m sure friendship happened. I enjoyed the story and it gave me something to think about.
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It’s my hope that there were some that were sensitive enough to see cause and effect…even back then. I’m happy you enjoyed it, Keli.
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Unfortunately, poor Jonathan probably had small pox as well–a terrible disease. Sad story of friendship unintentionally ending in disaster.
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I had the same thought, VB. But Jonathan managed to survive. The Native Americans had no immunity against such diseases. Indeed a sad reality.
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Rochelle, you captured that moment in history very well. 🙂
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I love reading your pieces every week. Informative and captivating. Also, that top picture is amazing.
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your voice from that time reads so smoothly. kudos!
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Just dropped to say I have joined. It was fun. Thanks.
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Terrific writing! Really captivating.
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Nicely written. Great job.
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I’m sorry. I would love to link up, but it won’t work on my machine. If anyone is interested, I did do a write (a poem) for this one called “Bridge to Hell”… here’s the link to my blog: http://wordgardenpoetica.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/friday-fictioners-bridge/
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Dear Rochelle,
Penance rings true, from the language to the self actualized individual dismayed at the mayhem his presence has helped unleash on an innocent people. Once again you have mastered the prompt and delivered a great 100 word story for your fans and fellow bus riders.
Good job.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
Thank you for taking time after your tournament to drop by and comment. Your realization of my intent and praise go beyond encouraging. (I’ll have to butter my ears to get my head through the door.)
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I love the language. I’ve heard that when writing historical fiction it helps to read letters from that time period, especially for dialogue. I’m guessing you’ve either done that or you lived in the 1700s. 🙂
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Dear Sheila,
Hush, my dearest. I shouldn’t want my secret life as a time traveler to get out. ;). I’ll admit to major influence from one of my favorite authors, Geraldine Brooks and her novels “Year of Wonders” and “Caleb’s Crossing”.
Happy you liked my story.
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Thank you for those recommendations. I haven’t read those so I’ll have to add them to my ever-growing to-read list.
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very touching, a friendship formed and then broken by the very fact that they met at all…I was born in Ireland where history is very much alive lol, so I set my story there..
http://gailkav.wordpress.com/2013/01/30/across-the-water/
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whoops sorry, added the link! Just ignore as I already added it to the link page.
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I have just discovered your challenge, but I guess it is too late to add my link for this one…
http://memyselfandela.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/paradise/
Anyway I will write for the next challenge as well.
You have a great blog Rochelle!!! 🙂
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Querida Rochelle,
Great dialogue 👍😊 I thank you for directing me to the story. It’s astonishing how history doesn’t change much of its bad behavior. When will we learn!!??
Gracias Abrazos y Shalom
Isadora 😎
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Querida Isadora,
Gracias for making the side trip. 😉 I’m so pleased you liked my story. Thank you para sus palabras amables.
Shalom y cariño,
Rochelle
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