WELCOME TO FRIDAY FICTIONEERS.
As always, writers are encouraged to be as innovative as possible with the prompt and 100 word constraints.
Henry David Thoreau said it best.
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
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THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
THE RULES:
- Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments.
- MAKE SURE YOUR LINK IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH FICTION. (Should you find that you’ve made an error you can delete by clicking the little red ‘x’ that should appear under your icon. Then re-enter your URL. (If there’s no red x email me at Runtshell@aol.com. I can delete the wrong link for you).
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- Make note in your blog if you’d prefer not to have constructive criticism.
- REMINDER: This page is “FRIDAY FICTIONEERS CENTRAL” and is NOT the place to promote political or religious views. Also, you are responsible for the content of your story and policing comments on your blog. You have the right to delete any you consider offensive.
**Please exercise DISCRETION when commenting on a story! Be RESPECTFUL.**
Should someone have severe or hostile differences of opinion with another person it’s my hope that the involved parties would settle their disputes in private.
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My story will follow the prompt for those who might be distracted by reading a story before writing their own . I enjoy your comments.
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Copyright – Danny Bowman
To post the prompt to your page simply right click on the picture and then left click “Save image as…” This will download it to your computer. Then paste it into your blog page. Please respect the copyright and use it only for Friday Fictioneers purposes. Any other usage requires permission from the photographer. Thank you.
Genre: Literary Fiction
Word Count: 99
DIODE
“Sarah, we need to talk.” Brent leaned against the doorjamb, arms folded, watching her peel vegetables over the sink.
“Can’t it wait?” She didn’t look up. “I’ve got the headache from hell.”
His breath caught in his throat. “I might have a contract on my novel. And lately you and I—”
“You get my bulbs planted?”
“I quit my job.”
“The tub drain’s clogged again.”
Silently he turned and walked outside to his pickup which was loaded with everything he owned. Through the open window he could still hear her.
“And the yard…really, Brent, you just don’t listen.”
Rochelle, you seem to have published this week and next week’s prompts together…was this a mistake?
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oops…Apparently I accidentally published two at a time. Not sure how I did that. Please disregard the second. Hopefully not many saw it. Although it will give a few a jump on next week.
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I did wonder where that went. I thought you were on holiday next week and did them both at once 😆
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LOL, I thought you were on holiday too!!
I will be on holiday and unable to play next week…or maybe I can now 😉
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Love this story. How people just won’t listen sometimes and then then blame it on the other person
http://wp.me/3ljZC
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Too true, Alastair. We’re all great at pointing the proverbial finger at the other person.
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We are
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What tragic irony, her complete obliviousness and then accusing him of not listening. Wonderfully written. The dialogue was spot-on.
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Thank you, David. It’s hard to “like” a story such as this, isn’t it? Poor Sarah will be alone and never understand why.
shalom,
Rochelle
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I “like” the writing, at least.
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I’ll happily accept that. 😉
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True all too often. Lovely story with a lesson . Thank-you
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Dear Patricia,
The death knell of a relationship. Lack of communication. Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Brilliant. I loved this story. And I did get next week’s prompt as well and absolutely brilliant to that too. Hope I have internet here by the time I’m ready to post.
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Next week’s prompt was posted in error. Sorry. But thank you for the lovely comment. I’ve taken down next week’s.
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I feel pretty silly about that scheduling error.
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Darn it, I missed the second post. And since I’d submitted four photos, one of which has been used already, this means I have to write three stories if I’m to get ahead of the game next week. 😉
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Every Wednesday when I remember to visit Rochelle’s website I think ‘ooh, ooh, will it be one of my photos this week?’ And then as soon as I see her lovely stained glass appear, I start to think, ‘Please let it not be mine because then my story will have to be really good.’
Claire
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Ya never know, Claire. I post the pic that strikes my fancy for that week. No particular order or logic involved. 😉
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Don’t feel you have to, Sandra. I write ahead for self preservation and more head space to read and comment on the other stories.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great story Rochelle – true dialogue is often about people saying what they want to say, rather than listening to the other person.
Now we know your strategy – I wonder if you’re actually writing and preparing posts weeks ahead.. or months… or even years…
Claire
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Actually a week ahead. I did that when i went on vacation a few weeks back and found it to be a great stress reducer for me. I assure you that I don’t spend any more time on my stories than I did before I took on the bus driver role.
Thank you for your comments. Communication is such a tricky business. Often we’re so involved in our reply we fail to hear what the other person is really saying. (Guilty as charged).
shalom,
Rochelle
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there is a Maroon 5 song that is popular right now called PAYPHONE and I was reminded of it as soon as I saw this picture.
I liked this story even though my heart hurt for both of them, those that care and those that don’t care enough (or at all). Communication is such a lost art isn’t it?
have a great holiday Rochelle.
XO
Kir
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Dear Kir,
I’ll have to look up the song.
Glad you like the story. I hurt for them both, too. No win situation for both.
shalom,
Rochelle
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This is one of the saddest stories I’ve read in a very long time. Written so well, but sad for the state of the relationship, and the lack of ‘dripsy sentimentalism’ in it..it’s just sincere heartbreaking stuff…I have a feeling some of us have been there, and it certainly feels like something I have….I remember very similar words…
You certainly have the knack of hitting the reader’s spot, in many ways!
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Dear Managua,
Your kind comments mean a lot. All too true that we’ve probably all been there at one time or another…more than any of us would care to admit.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Like it. Always good when a writer doesn’t just focus on the obvious i.e. a phone. Instead you used the image of a broken phone to describe one way communication between a couple. Excellent work!
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Thank you, Paul for your most excellent compliment. And thank you for being gracious in regard to my error this morning.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It took me a second, but the light bulb went on. Love the broken phone as a metaphor for no communication. Very creative
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Dear Steve,
Happy to know your light bulb went on. 😉 Thank you for your comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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And later that evening she will cry on the phone to her mom “He never said a word, he just left”.
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Exactly so, Dawn. 😦
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Yes, but why is Sarah so indifferent? What’s gone on in their relationship to have killed her interest in Brent? What’s his responsibility? He’s quit his job on the off-chance he’s got a contract? I’m on Sarah’s side till I learn more.
I hope you take it as praise of your writing that I react like this, Rochelle!
I read something about the photos up above here. I would love to share some of mine. Or are you well enough supplied for the present? If you’d like to see some, how would you prefer to get them? As jpegs? Compressed for the web? Should they be pre-published or do you prefer unpublished?
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Dear John,
Anytime my stories evoke emotions in a reader it’s all good and taken as high praise. So I thank you. I’m sure there are two sides to this story. 😉
As for pictures. I’m always open for more. I have several but I like to use photos from different people every week. Jpegs are best and you can send them to me via email at runtshell@aol.com. The more the merrier.
Again, I love the illustrations. I, too am an illustrator. My book, THIS, THAT AND SOMETIMES THE OTHER, is a collection of short stories and original illustrations. (Not sorry for the shameless advertisement.) I have copies or it’s available through Amazon on Kindle. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m sad for both of them. 😦
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Yep. It’s a no-win situation.
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Really true to life, Rochelle. Sounds like he’s best off out of it!
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Dear Jen,
Thank you for stopping by. I tend to agree. Brent will better off in the long run. I just hope Sarah wakes up and realizes what she’s thrown away.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Good story, the dialogue rang true.
Most of us have been in that conversation (on both sides) at one time or another!
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Well said, Elephant. If we’re honest with ourselves we have to admit being both Sarah and Brent by turns.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Tough relationship. I don’t blame him for leaving her
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So it would seem. Thanks for commenting, Kwadwo.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This story is so perfectly written. The two parallel conversations really put the reader right in the center of all their turmoil.
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Dear Kristin,
Compliments don’t get much better than that! Thank you.
shalom,
Rochelle
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this speaks to relationships everywhere. Marriages will crumble if the communication breaks down
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Dear Carrie,
Yep, without communication there really is no union. That’s when they become mere roommates if they stay together at all. Thanks for commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hahahahaha! Brent is my HERO! Good job!
Well, I thought it was funny …
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Dear Kent,
Perhaps funny in a dark, tragic kind of way. I’ll take the “good job”, though.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I kept thinking about taxis …
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Ah…transportation
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Rochelle, I’m afraid this rings true in too many relationships–not really listening to what the other person has to say before responding. Really listening is so much more difficult than talking. How often have we thought about what we wanted to say just as soon as the other person finished and didn’t even hear, I mean really hear, what they were saying. That way lies unhappiness. Your story was sad in its realness and hopefully a lesson for each of us.
janet
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Dear Janet,
My story is, indeed, a very sad one. How many really listen to what the other person is saying? I know I’ve been guilty of pretending and never really hearing what the other person said. So in this story my own finger points back at me.
Thank you for commenting on and liking my story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Well he did try, at least one more time. This is so true with more than just couples – Parents and children often lack good communication skills. And then wonder why in later years contact is strained or non-existant.
Thanks for you visit…I did reply…in my comments.
Cheers, Jules
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Dear Jules,
And now we have the extra added attraction of more distractions to obstruct communication, such as iPhones, games…etc etc.
Thanks for dropping by.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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While there are a few things that I can do…keeping up with new electronics is not my forte. I don’t tweet, or facebook yet. I can barely figure out how to use my television…which thanks to yours and other writing prompts I’ve been tuning into the ‘idiot box’ less and less. Though I have been thinking of getting both an I-pad or an e-book. I do have a lap top…that might just do for a while longer 🙂
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Sums it up quite nicely I think. Very well written Rochelle, of course! 🙂
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And I’ll sum that up with a hearty thank you, Penny.
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Oops. I guess she’ll be telling him what to do long after he’s gone, and until she realizes he ain’t there anymore. I can almost hear her walking around the empty house complaining for days about what he still hasn’t done and where the hell is that lazy no-good-so-and-so.
i assumed you posted two Fridays Fictioneers because you were going away for memorial day weekend.
Enjoy. Randy
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Dear Randy,
Actually I’m taking my memorial day holiday today. I’ll be working both Sunday and Monday…that’s the bakery biz. Hopefully you’ve noted that I deleted the next week’s page and relegated it back to the ranks of the unpublished. If you happened to snatch the picture before I did, consider it a gift and wait until next week to post it. Todah rabbah.
Yes, I think Sarah’s pretty self-absorbed and it may take her a while to figure out that Brent’s had enough. But might be the kind who will never realize her own responsibility.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Broken communication metaphor — excellent take on a difficult prompt.
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Thank you, Helena. Glad you liked the story.
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Well I’m kind of glad Brent’s leaving. I get the feeling she hasn’t heard a word he’s said for years and just wants him around to be her handyman. I can really picture these two people. I only hope his book deal is a really good one! And now I’ve worried about their futures! Which means it was a great little story indeed! 😀
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Dear Linda,
There’s no better compliment than a reader caring about my characters. I, too, have great hopes for Brent’s future as a writer. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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a really sad story… but good for him though, that he’s finally leaving. wonderful job capturing reality. the dialogue was truly brilliant 🙂
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Thank you, KZ. It is a sad story because it’s a true one for too many.
Shalom
Rochelle
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A sad story, often true. I felt it was a brilliant take on the prompt Rochelle.
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Thank you, Shreyank.
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Dear Rochelle,
In the navy one of the worst string of perjoratives you could call someone (at least in the nuclear navy) was “You one-way, check valve, diode, mother—-. You really nailed the title.
As for the story, suffice to say that it rings true. Good job with the prompt.
Diode is also the Greek goddess of the telephonic underworld….
Great to read your stories, my friend.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
My muse was on the ball this week, wasn’t he? When presented with the meaning, it made perfect sense and there could be no other title.
As always I thank you for your supportive and insightful comments.
Glad to have you as a reader and friend.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A little too close to home, so I know that this one was perfect, Rochelle!
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Nice to know when a story hits close to home. I’m afraid most of us can relate to this one. Perfect? Nice of you to say so, Troy.
shalom,
Rochelle
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This is a perfect illustration of a relationship that is one sided. Great job Rochelle. Too bad the lady doesn’t listen its her loss.
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Dear Moondust,
we can only hope that Sarah and others like her will wake up and listen. Thanks for your kind words.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Yes that’s truly one way communication, great how it’s written… and sadly true sometimes.
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Dear Björn,
Many thanks for you kind words. Sadly it’s a story we can all relate to at one time or another.
shalom,
Rochelle
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I am totally on Brent’s side here, although it feels somehow traitorous to say so. Although it never got to the final showdown, your story reminds me so much of a relationship I was privy to in the past. I never could understand why he never stood up for himself, declaring his needs and wants and dreams just as important as hers. I wanted to shake her for being so cold and petty and disconnected. Through your story, I feel like my real-life Brent finally found his freedom, and my heart sings.
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Dear Michelle,
I’m glad that your Brent found his freedom. I have high hopes for mine. 😉
Thanks for swinging by with your kind words.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Well, I can relate to this story. Been there with another person who just never listened. Or I should say never ‘heard’. Sad, but so well written.
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Dear Jackie,
It makes me sad to know this happened to you. Thank you for your kind words.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Very powerful evocation of how some people just won’t listen!
Thank you for this great challenge!
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Dear Hanna,
I can’t claim originality for Friday Fictioneers. I inherited the “baby” from Madison Woods in October when she felt the need to lay it down. I was hooked from the beginning and just couldn’t let it die. Amazing how one learns to conserve words and come to the point. The 100 word challenge has made a huge difference in my writing overall.
Glad you liked my story. Happy to have you on board.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Can’t blame the guy for leaving. And he had such exciting news to share. How ironic of her for thinking he’s the one who doesn’t listen. Great job.
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Dear Beth,
I think Brent’s going to be much happier. Hopefully he’ll find someone who will share his joys and listen to him. Thank you for commenting.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Great illustration of a poor relationship. Sometimes those claiming people don’t listen are the one’s failing to listen. Good for Brent in making his escape from a heartless woman. Great writing, Rochelle! Love it.
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Dear E.A.
Glad you liked it. Communication is an art form. Many of us are good at spouting but not so much at receiving.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
You’ve no idea how this story speaks to me. It almost breaks my heart.
Always,
Renee
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Dear Renee,
Always good to hear when a story speaks to another. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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In honor of all my fellow Vets and their families, I dedicate this entry to “The Call”. Remember to thank a Vet and their families for their service to our country this weekend.
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Dear Buffy,
My husband retired after 28 years in the Navy. I’m grateful to him and others like him. Thanks for your reminder.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Tell him, “Thank you, and Welkomin Home” for me will ya. Thank you for allowing him to serve, too.
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Dear Baba Wawa,
I think you should interview both of them for one of your specials. This is stupendous!
Yours truly,
Bowwie Wowwie Ding Dong Man
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Dear BWDDM,
I think I’ll leave their interview to Jerry Springer or Dr. Phil. Glad you stopped by with kind words.
Shawom,
Baba Wawa
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And so often, it goes just that way.
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/friday-fictioneers-52413-wrong-number-genre-humorous-pg13/
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Sad but true. Thanks for swinging by, Scott.
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Love the fact that you use the theme and not the phone – I was going for that and then changed my mind.
Great story. Sad though.
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Thank you, Neen. I like to look at the prompt as a suggestion not an illustration. But whatever clicks with a writer is good. It amazes me how many different stories come from one prompt. Fun stuff.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That amazes me too. Always read as many as I can.
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There are days when i feel just like him, that no one listens or cares. You have cut a slice from every day life here.
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Thank you, Joe.
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She is on a state of denial or pretending that he is not saying these things. would probably hit her much later. really well done
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Dear Night,
I suppose she could be in denial or just plain not listening. Either way, she’s losing out. Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh dear, I think Sarah needs to take some of her own advice and maybe start listening to herself. Poor Brent – I feel really sorry for him after the futility of his conversation.
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Dear Sarah Ann,
Yes. She definitely needs to develop listening skills. Nice to know my story evoked some emotion. Thank you for commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I just can’t get this picture out of my mind. Good inspiration to carry with me this weekend. The phone booth… the phone… all that it could and does represent to those of us who remember such things.
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Love it! I think we’ve all had this conversation at some point, but you gave it pathos and humor all at once.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/priorities/
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Dear Maggie,
No doubt anyone who’s lived any length of time has had similar conversations. Thank you for your kind compliments.
shalom,
Rochelle
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This is quite tragic, and I wonder if they’ve grown apart, or if they were always this out of tune and just didn’t know it. Maybe they can both find someone more suited…
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Dear Trudy,
I think someone suited to Sarah would be someone to gag her and make her listen. Hard to say, but most likely they’ve drifted apart and no longer have anything more in common than living quarters. Thanks for dropping by and commenting.
shalom,
Rochelle
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This is a really good interpretation of the prompt. I think we have all been in his/her shoes at one point. The gentle humor in this is spot on.
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Dear Emma,
Many thanks for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hey Rochelle! Like most who have read this, I was impressed with the writing. I was also saddened by the content. It especially hits home being a writer, because to me the story is not only a tragic tale about two people who have lost their connection to each other, it’s also a metaphor for how the world can often treat us when it comes to our writing pursuits. I’m fortunate to have a lot of support from the people closest to me, but there are many more who have felt and probably still feel that I’m wasting time on a hobby and couldn’t be bothered to invest two seconds of their time caring about it. I guess we scribes are extra-sensitive to rejection, and whether is comes from a prospective agent or a disengaged spouse, it always hurts.
So happy to be reading your brilliance again!! 🙂
My contribution: http://wp.me/pReXn-m9
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Dear John,
Glad you caught that. I’ve also received that pat on the head from some who perceive my passion as a nice hobby. Fortunately the ones who count in my eyes understand.
Thank you for your overwhelming compliments and perception. Glad you have you back on the bus.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Loved your piece, Rochelle! I added mine to the linky just now as well 🙂 Happy weekending!
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Weekend? I work them. 😉 Retail…cake decorator. Glad you liked my story.
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This is exactly what I needed to get my creative juices going again. Thanks, Rochelle!
Love reading all of the Friday Fictioneers! http://myredwinediary.wordpress.com/2013/05/24/you-think-we-could-get-it-to-talk/
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Happy to oblige, Shelly.
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Great take on “broken telephone.” I really enjoyed the story, despite the not so uplifting nature of it!
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Thank you, Denmother.
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Nice job. Isn’t it usually the MEN who don’t listen, though?
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Dear Shirley,
We women would like to think it’s always the men, wouldn’t we? Thank you for the kind comments.
shalom,
Rochelle
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http://www.agincourtdb.com/2013/05/fantasy-drabble-313.html
My first time here, I think. 🙂
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Welcome to Friday Fictioneers, David.
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Like your contribution, David! Very eerie!
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Ah, Rochelle, a cautionary tale indeed. I also loved the metaphor. Great job.
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Dear Anne,
I’ve heard it said there’s a reason the Creator gave us two ears, two eyes and only one mouth. 😉 Glad you liked my story.
shalom,
Rochelle
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