WELCOME TO FRIDAY FICTIONEERS.
As always, writers are encouraged to be as innovative as possible with the prompt and 100 word constraints.
Henry David Thoreau said it best.
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
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THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
THE RULES:
- Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments.
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- Make note in your blog if you’d prefer not to have constructive criticism.
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copyright -Managua Gunn
- To post the prompt to your page simply right click on the picture and then left click “Save image as…” This will download it to your computer. Then paste it into your blog page. Please respect the copyright and use it only for Friday Fictioneers purposes. Any other usage requires permission from the photographer. Thank you.
Genre: Literary Fiction
Word Count: 100
ROYAL CONCESSION
“Daddy, tell me a story.”
Ellen grabbed the remote, turned off the television and climbed onto Jeff’s lap.
“Not now, Doodle-bug.” He gave her a gentle nudge.
After countless life-or-death decisions and run-ins with EMT coworkers, he sought escape through mindless entertainment.
With four-year-old persistence, she settled against his chest. “Once upon a time, in a castle far away, lived a king and his bee-yoo-tee-ful little princess.”
“Then what happened?”
“They…” her voice faded into a yawn and her eyelids drooped.
Jeff’s taut muscles eased. He set down his beer, kissed her silken curls and whispered, “…lived happily ever after.”
I see that both our stories involve lap and children! Isn’t it because our parents told us stories that now we like them so much?
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Dear Hannah,
Indeed. They say great minds think alike. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Smiles, and grins. Love is good.
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Thank you, whoever you are.
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Soft words…of course the tragedy is in the last line…the little girl one day will learn life is not so lovely as she thought it was…very subtly done.
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Dear Managua,
You get the prize for seeing beyond the words to the story. Thank you for the lovely picture. I can’t wait to see how many different takes there will be this week.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I think the writing was dosed so well that one only realises the depth of those words and how her father feels a second after reading. I certainly felt it. Better start mine then – thank you so much for posting, wonderful surprise. I had a few of guards, but this is a woman guard, which impressed me.
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I was also surprised to see a female guard. I did a lot of research on Stockholm, the Royal Guard and, even, on Gustav. As you can see, I used none of it. 😉
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Oh I’m sure it’ll surface where least expected!….in a later tale far yonder…but am impressed about the research..the only thing I know is the palace is bigger than that one in London, which you can’t get near of course, but also that one or two Swedish royals have had unsavoury connections I read in a paper – to say the least, but then they all have.
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Didn’t notice the guard was female. 0/10 points for observation go to me. In my defense, I only saw the picture in my reader. which is smaller, before beginning to write.
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Rochelle, I like the stark contrast you paint between the little girl’s innocent fairy tale mentality and the father’s job, which involves some pretty horrific stuff. It’s a sweet story though; I hope she can live happily ever after.
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Dear David,
I think if her daddy has anything to say about it, she’ll live as happily ever as possible. Thank you for your sweet comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This was in the Ligo Haibun challenge last week. I’ll use a different story to the one I used there 🙂
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My apologies .. that was a male soldier there
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Hey, I’m so glad you said this Alastair. I was just SURE that was a female shape, but the hair really threw me. Glad to know it wasn’t just my imagination.
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What a cute and lovely story… I like how he never had to confront reality with fairy tales…as she fell asleep.
This one is both hard and easy for me, and I have actually been on guard in front of the castle once (with less fancy uniform). …
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Dear Björn,
Thank you for your lovely comments.
When I received this prompt I thought of you. I’ll be interested to read what you come up with.
shalom,
Rochelle
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I wrote one on the ligo haibun challenge about my own guard duty. So I have to come up with a brand new idea 😉
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In a world where every ‘happily ever after’ is doubted upon, your little girl brings so much hope. 🙂
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Dear Rishal,
Children learn to dance before they learn there’s anything that isn’t music. Thanks for your comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Well said!
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That was bee-yoo-tee-ful!
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Thank you, Lyn.:D
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i was so looking curiously at the guard’s butt ’til i realized she’s a woman. lol bee-yoo-tee-ful story, filled with warmth and hope…
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Dear KZ,
I think we all kind of did that double-take when we realized it was a woman in the picture. 😉 Glad you liked my story. Thanks for your warm comments.
shalom
Rochelle
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Sometimes it’s hard to perpetuate the fairy tale, but thankfully children often do it for themselves. Lovely, Rochelle.
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Dear Sandra,
Thank you for your kind words. Indeed, children have that lovely innocence that seems to be waning earlier and earlier these days.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Hopefully all Jeffs have Ellens in their lives to bring them back to what might be and to what’s important and grounding. Your story reminded me of how many people deal with horrific situations daily and the toll it takes on them. Thanks!
janet
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Dear Janet,
Always nice when someone sees past the words to the true premise. 😉 Glad you did.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Lovely story where father and daughter tenderly bring peace and comfort to each other’s lives..
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Dear VB,
Our children can be harbingers of comfort if we let them. Glad you liked my story.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Ah! A gentle and sweet slice of life. Your stories are always so tightly written!
(I had some weird trouble linking up — maybe you could figure out how to delete the first one with the odd picture (don’t ask). I hate for the writers to waste time with a dead link. Many thanks Rochelle — 😀 Linda)
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Thank you for the high praise, Linda. As for the non-working link, it’s history.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Sweet! Nailed it, General!
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At ease, Captain Spaulding. And thank you. 😉
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Yes, I thought of you with that.
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Ohhh, Kimonooo.
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Hi Rockstar – Read yours…very sweet.
Luv, xoxoxo Lora
________________________________
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Many thanks, Lora.
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This is such a cute little story of one little girl’s love for (and from) her Daddy. I love the characterization you put into both, even in so few words.
Sorry last week’s comment didn’t feel like a nice one – I shall endeavour to choose my words more carefully.
Best
Jen
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Dear Jen,
There was nothing wrong with your comment last week. Glad you liked this one. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A precious story with threads of reality intertwined
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Thank you, Moondust. Glad you liked it and saw beyond the story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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For now, the daughter is unaware of her father’s dangerous past. Blissful childhood. a lovely story:)
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Dear Night,
It’s a shame that we have to lose childhood innocence where happy-ever-after is attainable, isn’t it? Thanks for your lovely comments.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Delightfully written, Rochelle. Most loving parents will indeed present the best interpretation of things that they can for their children, to protect them as long as they can from the harshest things in life, or at least try!
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Dear Penny,
Thank you for your sweet comments. Glad you liked my story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I liked it on first reading; then read it again and felt tears. Very acute, deceptively simple. Love of one’s child and the quiet, tragic, irony of the last words, set against the dulling life of work, work…..
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Dear A. H.
That you read it twice is a high compliment. It pleases me that you read beyond the words to the true premise.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nothing like a child’s lap dance to ease all the daily stresses and worries – and bring out all that’s right and good in the world.
My first reaction to the story was:
“Awww.”
Randy
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oh… and i meant to say that I liked your title “Royal Concession” – as the “king” concedes to the princesses’ wishes…
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Dear Randy,
Awww is an acceptable response. Glad you caught the meaning in the title as well.
Shalom and Todah,
Rochelle
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Sometimes, it’s better to believe in happily ever afters, if only to dream and to cushion ourselves against the inevitable ‘sads’ that come our way. Great story Rochell. It’s been a while. I hope to join you guys tomorrow. 🙂
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Dear Celestine,
It’s good to see you back. Thanks for your comments. I think when we lose the ability to keep a bit of the child inside it becomes a sad life indeed.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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YAY! Happily Ever After! Lovely writing as usual, darling!
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Dear Helena,
See? I can write a happy ending. 😉 Thanks for the lovely compliment.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Awww… This is “bee-yoo-tee-ful ”
Missing my daddy now… 😦
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Dear Loco,
I miss mine, too. Glad you liked the story.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Aw. That’s so cute. I could picture the pair of them easily. Great story.
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Thank you, E. A. Nice of you to say so.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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How sweet. Children can relax you or wind you up tight. I guess it’s whatever you decide it’s going to be. Nice.
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So true, Linda. I’ve been on both sides of that fence. 😉 Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Story time was a favorite when our dad made up his fractured fairy tales…
Lovely.
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Dear Jules,
My dad did the same thing. 😀 Always the comic. Thank you for commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Bittersweet I’d say, lovely tale 🙂
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Thank you, Trudy.
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I can remember falling asleep trying to tell my children stories at bedtime back when I worked some long hours. This is such a sweet story.
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Dear Joe,
I fell asleep reading my kids, too. 😉 Glad you liked the story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh dear, the bum should have given it away, it’s the first and obviously only thing I noticed.
Girls are all princesses to their daddies. Till they go. I haven’t been one for almost four years now.
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Dear Mary,
I always relish comments, however I’m completely baffled by this one. What bum? Should’ve given what away?
I, too, was my daddy’s princess. Gone since 1984. I still miss him.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great story. One not so nice world and one perfect world.
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Dear H.L.
I’m pleased you like my story. It’s a shame that children can’t retain that innocence, isn’t it? They grow up to be us.
shalom,
Rochelle
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A great flash. As an adult I often wish we still had the ‘happily ever after’ concept in our belief system!
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Dear Neens,
Thank you for your kind words. I believe in happily-ever-after…it just takes a lot of work and diligence in the real world.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I think this sweet and beautiful story is one of your best ever. Layers within layers reveal all the joy and love a father has for his daughter and the daughter for her father. Oh, so subtle and oh, so perfectly poignant.
ALoha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
I can answer little more to your sweet words than “mahalo”.
Shalom-Aloha,
Rochelle, SD
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Ah, a beautiful Made in Missouri fairy tale. Please don’t tell the child about Phillip/Phyllis until she gets a little older.
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Dear Phillip,
You’re secret’s somewhat safe with me.
Shalom,
Elizabeth
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Last week, my laptop took a gainer off the table and the case cracked. Been afraid to use it, and now it’s out to the repair place for whatever it needs. I’m stuck on the slower than a seven year itch desktop that’s giving me inet fits…hopefully, I’ll be able to get out to the library to post this week.
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Rochelle,
Excellent image. I read this story with both envy and jealousy. It wasn’t until I was married and Hubs read the Christmas story on Christmas eve that I ever remembered being read to. Every now and then, when I hear or see scenes like this, my heart aches with having missed that kind of thing.
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Dear Buffy,
Thanks for commenting. It’s always gratifying as a writer to know that something of mine resonated with someone else.
shalom,
Rochelle
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So sweet. I read yours after I’d seen a news story about a little boy hearing his father’s voice for the first time after a cochlear implant, and the tears came. ;’)
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/the-unknown-soldier/
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Dear Maggie,
Thank you for such a high compliment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Profound, though-provoking, well-written. No wonder you are the Queen!
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Dear Perry
It’s good to be the Queen, if for nothing else, kind comments such as yours.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I like that many of your stories have a great father figure in them. Your own experiences have informed your writing, I’m sure.
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Dear Erin,
I did have a good father figure in many ways. Although he was far from perfect, he encouraged creativity and instill humor in his offspring.
I noticed your story also had to do with a father. I’d say we both had some good influence in the daddy department.
Thank you and Shalom,
Rochelle
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Now that was really nice. Sad a bit, but there was hope there too. I love reading your stories.
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Many thanks for your sweet words, Jackie.
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having just a moment to feel loved, even if it never comes around again, must help sometime later in life. ♥ i love your story.
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Thank you, Sunshine.
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you’re welcome! thank you for Friday Fictioneer. you really make everyone feel so welcomed…and loved. ♥
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A lovely little cameo. And a good juxtaposition of the happy, safe domestic moment and the life and death workplace.
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Thank you, Scott. Happy you caught the contrast.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Patrick,
Happy you caught the contrast. And I’m glad you liked the story. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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yes, how often we try to turn off our minds…. nice — it took me a while to figure out the guard was a she. It was the posture, then the hair bob.
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Very good! I had no ideas at all and did read yours, then allowed myself to think awhile, so thank you,
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/06/20/friday-fictioneers-62113-romantic-fiction-pg13/
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Thank you, Scott. Happy to influence a good story such as yours.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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🙂
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Rochelle, that was bee-yoo-tee-ful! I suppose the father having seen so many tragic life and death situations as an EMT might not want to tell a fairy tale and was saved by sleep. Nicely done!
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Dear Amy,
Thank you for your kind words. Glad you liked it. Although it’s the child telling the fairy-tale and falling asleep. 😉
shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh, I know! Got that, thanks.
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Dear Rochelle
This brought back memories of childhood bedtimes and stories told that created a certain kind of magic. All stories that begin ‘once upon a time’ usually end with …’they all lived happily ever after’. I don’t remember when I found out that in real life, those words are a rarity, but they certainly sent me happily off to sleep many times.
Take care
Dee
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Dear Dee,
It’s always nice to hear that something I wrote triggered a good feeling or emotion. I loved those fairy-tales as a child and dreamed of being the beautiful princess.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I removed the link from Undead in the Netherworld because it was well over 100 words. If anyone wants to see it, it’s here.
http://undeadinthenetherworld.blogspot.com/2013/06/stopover-in-hlanith.html
I trained as an EMT but never actually worked in that capacity other than during clinicals, because an entry level EMT only made $8 an hour, and I was making more than that at my current job. I saw a bunch of emergency vehicles going by tonight when I was heading to work. I thought what an interesting time they must be having, then I felt sorry for whomever was causing them to have such an interesting time!
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Your stories ALWAYS move me Rochelle. Thank you for sharing your words with us.
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And I always look forward to your participation and comments, Renee.
shalom
Rochelle
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Sweet story, Rochelle… reminds me of when I read to my grandchildren… I imagine you are doing that a bit these days.
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Thanks you, Ted. Wish I had more time with Olive, but she’s cross country from us.
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Good job of melding disparate elements for an ending with a punch! Ron
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