WELCOME TO FRIDAY FICTIONEERS
As always, writers are encouraged to be as innovative as possible with the prompt and 100 word constraints.
Henry David Thoreau said it best.
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
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**NOTE: Wednesday after next is Christmas (already?) In deference to those who will be busy with festivities and family I won’t post the photo prompt until Thursday the 26th. I will also extend the link one more day. Thank you for your patience and understanding.**
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THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
THE RULES:
- Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments.
- MAKE SURE YOUR LINK IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH.
- While our name implies “fiction only” it’s perfectly Kosher to write a non-fiction piece as long as it meets the challenge of being a complete story in 100 words.
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- ***PLEASE MAKE NOTE IN YOUR BLOG IF YOU PREFER NOT TO RECEIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.***
- REMINDER: This page is “FRIDAY FICTIONEERS CENTRAL” and is NOT the place to promote political or religious views. Also, you are responsible for the content of your story and policing comments on your blog. You have the right to delete any you consider offensive.
**Please exercise DISCRETION when commenting on a story! Be RESPECTFUL.**
Should someone have severe or hostile differences of opinion with another person it’s my hope that the involved parties would settle their disputes in private.
- Like us on Facebook
My story follows the photo and link tool. I enjoy honest comments and welcome constructive criticism.
- Shalom,
Rochelle
Genre: Literary Fiction
Word Count: 100
UNEXPECTED GIFT-UNEXPECTED TIME
Charli’s hiking boots are caked with dried mud that defies my cleaning efforts.
From her first cry, I dreamed of dressing my firstborn in pink pinafores with ruffled lace. But, before she turned two, Charli made it clear she detested pink.
Since then, I’ve given birth to another tomboy and a son who happens to love pink. Go figure.
After the accident on her thirteenth birthday, the boots were the only part of Charli I didn’t sell, toss or donate.
I listen for the doorbell. In a moment I’ll meet the girl to whom I gave my daughter’s untamed heart.
Superb.
That is all.
Just superb.
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And I will simply say, “thank you, Elephant.”
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I must adree with our pachyderm friend..superb
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Many thanks, Patricia. Compliments don’t get much better. 😀
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Awesome Rochelle!Heart breaking piece.
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Dear Atreyee,
Having just watched a true story video dealing with a mother’s decision, my own heart broke. This was my attempt to pay homage to this courageous woman. Thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh,that is then a doubly beautiful piece-a great tribute to such a mom Rochelle!
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An emotional riptide with an amazingly hopeful ending. Wow.
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Dear Jan,
This was a very emotional piece for me. I can’t imagine having to experience any of this personally but I so admire parents who can unselfishly give their child’s organs to another. Glad you liked and I appreciate your comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hard to disagree with the others, so I won’t even try. A very moving piece, Rochelle. Well done.
PS… That’s a great photo! Who took it? 😉
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Dear Adam,
Thank you for your kind words. Great photo, isn’t it? Thanks.
shalom,
Rochelle
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One of your best Rochelle! Loved it.
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Nice of you to say so, Sandra. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hi Rochelle ! Very emotional superb story. Made me very sad , end is very touching and nice.
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Many thanks, Indira.
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A beautifully sad story with an ending I didn’t expect. It brought tears to my eyes. I lost a brother many years ago, and through his organ donation, a dying boy was able to live for more than 20 years with his heart and lungs. The recipient named his first born child after my brother. Thanks for sharing such a touching story, Rochelle.
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Wow, two touching story’s in one.
Thank you both.
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Dear Lisa,
For me this was fiction. Thank you for sharing your heart-wrenching true story. It validates mine.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I felt my heart skip a beat.
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😀
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No “heart” comments from me, but I agree that this might be one of your best. Imagining a child dying (as I have several times in my FF stories) is an unfathomable thing but I think that donating organs is a wonderful way to share the blessings of life even in death.
janet
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Dear Janet,
I admire (and appreciate) your self-restraint on this one. 😉 It was inspired by an incredible video I saw not too long ago. The parents had donated their teen-age daughter’s organs after she was killed in a skiing accident. The recipient of her heart was a nurse with small children of her own. When the parents met her she came with a stethoscope so the parents could hear their daughter’s heart.
I sobbed as I watched, in fact I can’t think about it without tears.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
A lyrical and touching story. As always, I’m in awe of your writing. The photo reminds me of my daughter at the age of 3, stomping around in pink boots lined with lambs wool. Such a spirited child she was. And now she’s a spirited young woman.
Love,
Renee
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Dear Renee,
Thank you for your head-turning compliments.
I loved your poem about your spirited daughter.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Excellently crafted, Rochelle. It hit me in the heart. The only suggestion I’d make (after reading it about four times) is maybe to change “defies” to “defied.” I’m not sure this mother would want to clean Charli’s boots anymore (thus they would have defied her efforts in the past, but no longer). Might she prefer to hold onto not only the boots, but the last pieces of earth through which Charli trod? It’s just a thought, based on what I would do/not do as a mother.
Overall, thought, an absolutely beautiful story!
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Dear Lisa,
Good point on defies vs, defied.Although my point in that sentence is to establish then and now. However I’m not adverse to changing it.
Thank you for your comments and compliment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, I always love your work. Confession: So many have remarked on your use of the loss of a child. I don’t have that point of reference. (never had children) What I did have was a young brother who died way before his time, and who also donated so others might live. I consider him very brave in that act. It is one which I am unable to commit to. It is not the act of giving, you see. It’s just that I have this irrational fear of not being quite dead, but just mostly dead… Silly for my part. Too much Sci-Fi in my youth I guess.
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Dear Lynda,
Thank you for sharing your touching story and your kind words.
shalom,
Rochelle
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The last line really does add another beautiful element to an already good story, and it’s about such an important issue. I can see why some people find organ donation an icky concept, but struggle to understand why someone would decide against it unless it’s based on religious reasons.
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Dear MissKZebra,
There are some fantastic true stories of donated organs saving lives. Probably the most unselfish thing a person could do. I’m glad the message came across in my story.
Thank you and
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Your stories are always top notch and the first one I read, Rochelle. I think this is one of your best and an excellent example of 100 word flash fiction. Your story gave me chills and that doesn’t happen often. I hope she gave the girl the boots too.
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Dear Ted,
Thank you for your sweet, head-turning words. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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As long as I’m here… I thought I’d make a Holiday Gift Suggestion. 100+ writers are Friday Fictioneers… I wonder how many have read a book called This That And Sometimes the Other? It can be found on Amazon… that’s where I bought mine. The Author is a friend of ours.
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Thanks for the plug, Ted. Not sure the paperback is available on Amazon right now. It is available on Kindle and the paperback is available at http://www.highhillpress.com or I have some copies to autograph and sell. Runtshell@aol.com.
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brilliant. one of the best stories i’ve read from you (and that’s saying something) very powerful and emotional.
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Dear KZ,
Brilliant’s a powerful word. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Beautiful and emotional piece. Brilliant as ever.
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Many thanks, Draliman.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh .. I had to read it before doing my own.. and yes this was hearbreakingly good.. oh yes.. a pair of empty shoes.. very very good.
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Dear Björn,
Your words make me smile. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Therein Charli lives on.
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Indeed she does. Thanks for commenting, JK.
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A bitter-sweet ending to this beautifully crafted tale.
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Dear Steve,
Thankfully there are unselfish people like Charli’s mom in this world. Thank you for your comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That was such a beautifully sad story, amazingly rich with emotion.
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Dear Glynis,
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh so beautiful and yet so sad. You really gave those shoes a different meaning from what I had imagined. I just hope that when she meets the recipient, the girl hates pink and loves to climb trees. Great story, Rochelle. I loved it.
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Dear E. A.
Good thoughts. I hope so, too. Glad you came by with your sweet comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh, well, I discovered it is a great story though I had to read through the comments to make a meaning out of the last paragraph. This is simply brilliant!
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Dear Charles,
I hope your confusion is merely language barrier. Glad you liked it in the end.
shalom,
Rochelle
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I feel like you’ve been going with sad a lot recently, Rochelle. Another one here – you set us up to love Charli almost as much as the narrator does, then Boom.
Also, what? Christmas in two weeks? Oh help!
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Dear Jen,
I thought my story last week was a happy one. Sorry about Charli. Right after I chose the photo I was inspired by a true story of a couple who donated their daughter’s organs. When they met the nurse recipient she brought a stethoscope so the parents could, once more, hear their daughter’s heart. I sort of apologize for my propensity toward the darker side of things.(If I didn’t make you love Charli, you wouldn’t care that she died, right?)
In all honesty, Christmas is a little bit of a bummer this year for familial reasons I won’t go into. I’m not at all ready for it. Nonetheless it’s creeping up on us. I hope Sebastian’s going to have a great one.
As always, your comments mean a lot to me.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It was more of an impression, Rochelle, I didn’t go back and check. In any event, nothing wrong with the dark side from my POV, especially when you pull it off so powerfully.
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What a moving story. It brought tears to my eyes. That is good writing when you strike an emotional chord! Beautiful and sad.
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Dear Rob,
Nothing compliments an author more than to know her writing evoked true emotion. Confession: I cried while I wrote it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wonderful, wonderful piece Rochelle!
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Many, many thanks, Emmy. Glad you liked.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I am a true fan of your writing, Rochelle. Each story takes me somewhere special and surprising. I love that combination! This is truly poignant and wonderful! Great job.
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Dear Dawn,
I’m truly overwhelmed at your words. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It’s my pleasure, sincerely. Shalom. A bonus: My daughter called me from Jerusalem this morning, as she stomped through the fresh snow. She sent this to me; I’m sure it will make you smile. http://www.buzzfeed.com/tasneemnashrulla/32-incredible-pictures-of-a-rare-snowstorm-in-jeruslem
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The loss of a child I would imagine certainly suggest feelings of emptiness. Nice analogy.
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Dear Dawn,
All too many parents know that empty feeling of losing a child, don’t they? Thank you for commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A very lovely on…
Speechless!
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Many thanks, Loco.
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So sad! What a terrible thing to have to live through. Very well penned!
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Dear Georgia,
I can’t imagine, really, although I have friends who have. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Heartbreaking for the mother but applauded for her generosity. Nice one, Rochelle.
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Dear Lora,
So nice to see you here. 😀 Thank you for your comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That one was……straight between the eyes…..what an incredibly powerful short tale. Stunning.
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Dear Managua,
I can only say thank you to such a comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful and painful Rochelle.
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Many thanks for your comments, Joe.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You are amazing. I don’t know how you do it, but week after week you come up with a totally original heartbreaking tale – full of pathos and astonishing detail as well. This has to be one of your best, though…
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Dear Lindaura,
Such a comment! All I can answer to that is a simple thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hi Rochelle,
Poignant and heart wrenching, and that last line is multi-layered and a great conclusion. When my brother died about 10 years ago, we kept this tiny pair of cowboy boots that he had worn when he was little and they are on display on top of the entertainment center and I think of him every time I see them. Ron
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Dear Ron,
Your comment is also poignant and heart wrenching. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful, Rochelle. And moving! 🙂
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Thank you, Celestine. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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great story straight from the heart.
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thank you, plaridel. glad you liked it. 😉
shalom,
rochelle
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Dear Queen Lurline,
What an outstanding tribute to Mothers (and Fathers) who unselfishly donated their children’s organs so that others may live. I got choked up at the end. – Bullwinkle
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Dear Bullwinkle,
I hope all is well with you and Mrs. Bullwinkle at this time.
I’m glad you saw my story for what it’s meant to be. A tribute.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle,
What an emotional roller coaster. My mother-in-law is a coordinator for organ transplants. She has many stories of sadness, but then there’s hope as well for the living. Beautiful piece!
Amy
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Dear Amy,
Thank you for your validating comments. My story was inspired by a video I saw where a couple donated their daughter’s organs. The recipient of her heart was a nurse with young children. When they all met the nurse brought a stethoscope so the parents could hear their daughter’s heartbeat. I sobbed.
Your mother-in-law is a special person.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That must have been powerful and heartbreaking to watch. My mother-in-law has a very tough job. It takes a special person to do the work she does. That’s for sure. Thanks.
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Beautifully done Rochelle – I loved your last words. ” my daughter’s untamed heart”.
You’ve made the word ‘punch-line’ your own.. it feels like a punch in the stomach when we get to those last words…
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Dear Valerie,
I’m very pleased you caught the nuances of the story. Your words make my heart sing.
Shalom and Kia ora,
Rochelle
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Wow! Powerful story with a terrific ending! Loved this! Thanks again for the challenge!
^..^ B
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Dear Barbara,
Thank you for commenting. Glad you liked. And you’re ever so welcome for the challenge. It’s my passion and has also become something of a family.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wow. Rochelle, I … um … just wow. 😀
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“Wow” is good. 😉 Thank you, Joanna.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Sad and beautiful. Well done.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/big-shoes-to-fill/
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Thank you, Maggie.
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This is so very good, Rochelle. You pull every emotion out of us with seemingly no effort, but I know it took a great deal of effort to choose exactly the right words and the perfect timing as you’ve done. And — as I’ve said before, but it bears repeating — your ending just explodes in our hearts and keeps reverberating for some time.
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Dear Sandra,
Your words are music to my eyes. This 100 word challenge is one of the most exciting writing endeavors. I was addicted from my first one. I’m pleased that it works well for my readers. Maybe someday I’ll write a novel with “flash chapters” 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Best pitch for donating organs I’ve ever heard. You’ve a way with words, dear Rochelle. hugs…
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Thanks for the comments and the hugs, Millie.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh! I got a little teary-eyed reading that. Wonderful job, as always, Rochelle!
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Dear Tiffany,
I got a little teary-eyed writing it. Thank you for your affirming comments. Nice to read.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You’re welcome! It is a great piece.
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Powerful!
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Thank you, Jackie.
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This is beautiful
You tend to write about death and dying a lot, but you also make it save and secure.
Nice job.
Blessings to you.
Phyllis
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Dear Phyllis,
I suppose I do write about death a lot. I hope not to come across as a dark and morbid person. Your words are affirming and sweet.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Simply touching, +1, Tay.
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Dear Tay,
+1? Glad you liked.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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LOL The eye of the proof reading group master strikes again! Plus ONE, of course! 😀
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Such a lovely story.
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Thank you, Subroto.
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Rochelle,
I’m a bit late in reading stories this week, but I’m glad I read this one. What a great story. I misread the last line and thought it was the daughter who had given her heart to a girl. Then I reread it and the real meaning became clear. Wow, what an ending.
-David
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Dear David,
As you can see, I’m a little behind in getting to and commenting on all the stories. I’ve had some tell me I’m not obligated to comment on every one but I guess I’m a little OCD in that department. 😉
I’m pleased that you made it by with your comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very sad, brave. Written like it’s a personal experience. Bravo.
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Dear Patrick,
Fortunately it’s totally fiction on my part. I have a great admiration for parents for whom this is a reality.
Thank you and Shalom,
Rochelle
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