WELCOME TO FRIDAY FICTIONEERS
As always, writers are encouraged to be as innovative as possible with the prompt and 100 word constraints.
Henry David Thoreau said it best.
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
*Note: Due the fact that Christmas fell on Wednesday this year, this prompt is being posted Thursday, the 26th. I’m also leaving the link open an extra day to make up for it.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
THE RULES:
- Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments.
- MAKE SURE YOUR LINK IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH.
- While our name implies “fiction only” it’s perfectly Kosher to write a non-fiction piece as long as it meets the challenge of being a complete story in 100 words.
-
- ***PLEASE MAKE NOTE IN YOUR BLOG IF YOU PREFER NOT TO RECEIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.***
- REMINDER: This page is “FRIDAY FICTIONEERS CENTRAL” and is NOT the place to promote political or religious views. Also, you are responsible for the content of your story and policing comments on your blog. You have the right to delete any you consider offensive.
**Please exercise DISCRETION when commenting on a story! Be RESPECTFUL.**
Should someone have severe or hostile differences of opinion with another person it’s my hope that the involved parties would settle their disputes in private.
- Like us on Facebook
My story follows the photo and link tool. I enjoy honest comments and welcome constructive criticism.
- Shalom,
- Rochelle
The Following story is dedicated to my husband Jan.
Genre: Literary Fiction/Tribute
Word Count: 100
LIVING LEGACY
“A-one and a-two…” said the man on television.
“I hate Lawrence Welk.” I stamped my foot.
Mom’s brown eyes flashed as she jumped from her chair to turn up the volume. I grabbed her around the waist and we fell to the floor where she tickled me into submission.
A tower of strength, she always won.
Somewhere along the line, between responsibilities and business-as-usual, without my notice, the tower crumbled.
In semi-darkness, she stares at a blank screen. I search her listless eyes but the spark is gone.
“Mom? I miss Lawrence Welk.”
Her brow crinkles. “Do I know you?”
.
.
Dear Rochelle,
May you and Jan find the strength to weather the coming storm in your love and the love of those who care for you.
Deep beneath the outward story, Living Legacy is a beautiful testament. Love endures, life endures. Make sure that you do, too.
Aloha,
Doug
LikeLike
Dear Doug,
Your words of comfort and encouragement are perfectly timed. This story is all too true and difficult to watch. Thank you for your friendship in the midst of the storm.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
A beautiful yet sad story Rochelle. My best wishes.
LikeLike
Dear Michael,
Thank you for your kind comment and your best wishes. I wish there could be a happy ending to this story.
shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Sadly they don’t end happily Rochelle. Hang in there.
LikeLike
To manage such a powerful shift in so few words is quite astonishing. Such a moving piece
LikeLike
Dear Etienne,
Life is like that, isn’t it? When we’re not looking things change and we wonder how. Glad that came across in my story. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
It was a beautifully written piece but I only realised it came from experience when I read the comments. I feel a bit crass praising you for your technique now. All my sympathy to you and Jan.
LikeLike
On the contrary, Etienne. I appreciate the praise for technique. It means my point came across through my favorite art form. Thank you for the wishes. It’s one of those unavoidable life experiences. Writing about it, in this case, is cathartic for me and supportive for Jan.
LikeLike
This was lovely Rochelle, on a subject that is almost too painful to write about and certainly too painful to bear. The line ‘tickling into submission’ set such a happy, playful tone to what turned out to be a cracker of a sad story. I’m sorry if this touches on your own reality, and wish you well for the times ahead.
LikeLike
Dear Sandra,
Thank you for your lovely comments and support. It’s painful to write about, but cathartic as well. Jan’s smile through tears as he read it were confirmation.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
That reads like the truth – my own beloved Pa lost himself at the end, and to see the confusion on his face was heart-rending.
LikeLike
Dear Liz,
I call this literary fiction only because the scene hasn’t really happened. However the ongoing loss of my mother-in-law is a painful reality. Thank you for commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Also, my condolences for your loss. It’s tough enough to lose a parent, but to lose them before they actually die is excruciating.
LikeLike
Rochelle, you have such a talent for tugging at the heart and tearducts. That last line nearly made me break down. Anyone who has gone through that with an elderly relative, especially a parent, knows that intense pain.
LikeLike
Dear David,
The so-called experts say to write what you know, right? We’re living this reality as my mother-in-law slips away. Watching my husband go through it is doubly painful. Thank you for the affirming comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Dear Rochelle, I just don’t know how to comment. It touched my heart, you expressed it so well. I’ve tears in my eyes. I have gone through this, I can relate.
LikeLike
Dear Indira,
Your tears are comment enough. It’s hard to watch the reality behind this story to someone I never dreamt would succumb. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Dear Rochelle, I’m sitting in a business center in a hotel and I have tears in my eyes after reading this. You write from experience but oh the way you write is magnificent. All the Best, Zainab
LikeLike
Dear Zainab,
Tears are the highest of compliments. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Rochelle, this was beautifully written. We lost Dad this way, so painful for my family. HUGS to you & Jan. Vic
LikeLike
Dear Vicki,
Strange I don’t remember Mom ever saying anything about your dad. At least I don’t recall. It’s hard to watch. I never dreamed that a vibrant, intelligent woman like Mom would go this way. It’s like watching Grandma Jessie all over again. Thanks for the comment and the hugs.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
As science and medicine find ways to prolong life, this scene becomes more and more common. You have captured it beautifully and tenderly. I hope you both find the strength to give Mom all the love and support you can; somewhere deep inside, I am certain she can feel it even if she doesn’t understand it.
LikeLike
Dear Jennifer,
It does make one wonder if medicine is doing us a favor, doesn’t it? My mother in law saw her own mother go the same way. She outlived her mind by ten years.
Jan’s sister brought Mom home for Christmas day. She seemed to enjoy being with family although, at times, she looked very confused.
Your comments mean a lot to me. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Dear Rochelle (If that IS your real name)
My father suffered from dementia the last two/three years of his life. It was tough, especially for Mom, his primary care-giver. He did keep his sense of humor though. One night when I was helping put him to bed, he looked over at Connie and asked me, “Are you getting any of that?” For one brief moment he was back, then gone again. I will forever carry that memory with me and count it a blessing.
Best wishes for you and Jan as you walk this difficult road.
May God Bless – Russell
LikeLike
Dear Russell,
This is a tough one. I liken it to giving birth. There’s a point in labor where the new mother is filled with the realization that no one can do it for her and there’s no turning back. Thank you for sharing your own experience. Unfortunately I know too many on the same path.
Christmas day, my sister in law brought Mom home for the day. As with your dad, I saw a tiny spark every so often.
Your understanding words of kindness mean a lot.
Shalom,
Rochelle (Yes, it’s my real name according to my birth certificate).
LikeLike
Oh my. It’s so difficult to watch the mind of a family member drift away like that. So sad, especially when long memories reveal the true nature of the person. This is a well-crafted tear-jerker Rochelle. Well done as always.
LikeLike
Dear Eric,
It is a very difficult thing to watch. Even more difficult is watching my husband go through it. His mother has always been an important presence in his life.
Thank you for your supportive comments. I’ve added a few tears of my own to this story.
shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Such a sad take on the prompt this week. I’ve not had to go through this, and I hope I never do. I know a few people going through it though and I can’t even imagine how hard it must be. Well written as always, Rochelle.
LikeLike
Dear Adam,
I hope you never have to go through this either. It’s tough and makes you feel helpless. You grieve the death with undetermined closure. Thank you for commenting.
shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Beautiful, poignant and sad.
I notice from the comments that this is true life – my best wishes go to you and your family.
LikeLike
Dear Alistair,
While the final scene in the story is fiction, the situation is all too true for us. Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
This is so sad.. that stage of dementia I have not yet seen.. so sad how memories can come back and hunt us at these moments… Great connection to the picture.
LikeLike
Dear Björn,
My husband’s grandmother outlived her mind by ten years. Glad you caught my connection to the picture. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
This is my favorite of all of your submissions to Friday Fictioneers. Good job!
LikeLike
Thank you, Terry Toon.
LikeLike
Echoes of shock and sadness at the end of the last line. I just can’t imagine….
So well-paced and described.
LikeLike
Dear Managua,
Your comments mean a lot. It’s an unfathomable reality for us. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
this story is not the tower of babel. you have made your point very clear.
LikeLike
thank you, plaridel.
LikeLike
I went through this experience with my husband for two years before he passed, and it’s truly impossible for anyone who has never experienced it to fully understand the degree of emotional trauma involved for the caregivers. But you have done an incredible job of relating many facets of the experience in just these few words. Only a truly gifted writer can take the indescribable personal pain and translate it into a realistic, yet palatable picture for the reader. A wonderful piece, Rochelle.
LikeLike
Dear Sandra,
Your comments are so dearly affirming. It was never my intent to garner sympathy, but to convey the agony in watching a person die while they yet live. An excruciating time for my husband who has always been close to him mother. It must’ve been indescribable for you.
Thank you and Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Oh, she does indeed have beautiful eyes. So sorry that they have faded. You and the rest of the family obviously remember the joy and the love that was in them once, and are returning that love to her. She may not recognize who you are or what you are doing for her, but she would miss the level of comfort that it brings, were the family not so caring.
Keep on keeping on….
LikeLike
Dear Jan,
Thank you for your comforting words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
this is so heartbreaking, i honestly don’t now what to say. i wish you strength and patience. this is a sad but beautiful tribute.
LikeLike
Dear KZ,
It was never my intent to make anyone uncomfortable with this story or to garner sympathy. It’s very difficult to watch an intelligent, vibrant human being lose herself in the fog of dementia. Thank you for your comments and wishes.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Rochelle, such a powerful piece. Your transition here is seemless, “Somewhere along the line, between responsibilities and business-as-usual, without my notice, the tower crumbled.” I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. I believe that I’ve begun this journey myself with my dad. Hugs.
LikeLike
Dear Amy,
Thank you for both your compliments on my story writing and your affirming words of comfort. My heart goes out to you and your dad. Will always be happy to listen and share as we travel this difficult road together.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Ah, Rochelle, my heart goes out to you and your family! Well written. The line, “the tower crumbled” is very powerful! Tears are rolling down my face….Major hugs to you and yours R! ^..^
LikeLike
dear Barbara,
Thank you for the hugs. Compliments to my writing and words of comfort…both appreciated.
shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Powerful and emotional, Rochelle, made even more so from personal experience. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you and yours.
LikeLike
Dear Miss Tiffany,
Thank you for your compliments and kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Towers of strength to you and your husband, Rochelle. A heartfelt piece.
LikeLike
Thank you on all counts, Mike.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
I’ve read the comments and understand. It’s a tough journey ahead and I can only wish you both all the strength and love you need.
LikeLike
Words are so inadequate. Know that if I could, I’d be sending you a million hugs xx
LikeLike
It’s heartbreaking when they can not remember those simple and joyous moments from the past. I love how you worked the prompt into a very personal story. Reminds me a bit of the Elvis Costello song “Veronica”.
LikeLike
Dear William,
I tried to write historical fiction…some kind of bio piece about Gustave Eiffel. While I learned a lot about the history of the tower, nothing really jumped out at me. I kept zeroing in on the lights and how in my MIL’s life the lights are quickly going out. I’ve never heard the song. I’ll have to check it out.
Thank you for coming by and commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
A beautiful story and even more heart-wrenching knowing it’s true. You have good memories to hold onto, and all the best.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/le-secret-dun-pere/
LikeLike
Dear Maggie,
Indeed, I do have over 40 years of good memories. Lots of “mom” stories being told and retold between us “kids”. Thank you for your compliments and supportive wishes.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Dear Rochelle,
When I replied to your comment on my blog I hadn’t read this post. I hope my reply did not seem too insensitive.
I read this with admiration and then shock – to realise where you had led us. Then I read the comments and I see what you are going through now. You have my deepest sympathy. I understand what you are going through so well, as I am one of the only props for a close friend with no family, whose husband is going through the same twilight.
It’s so hard for you to watch and so hard to be so deeply involved. I hope all the love which is flowing towards you helps a little, Valerie
LikeLike
Dear Valerie,
In no way did your reply seem insensitive. It’s difficult to know how to respond at times…how much do I say?
I’m happy that you read with admiration…a high compliment. I didn’t write this piece to garner sympathy, but to face up to the situation in the best way I know how…by writing about it. It’s proven to be cathartic for both myself and my husband as I think it’s brought us a little closer together.
My heart goes out to you in your situation, my dear friend. And thank you again for the camellias.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Hey Rochelle and everyone… nice to meet you… came here by Björn and thought i’d give it a try… what a cool pic and challenge… my link is up and will try to read as many of the others that have linked up as well now… happy saturday everyone…smiles
LikeLike
Welcome Claudia! Caution! Once you start this challenge, it’s very hard to stop.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
smiles… you might be right… just read through some wonderful stories…highly enjoyable… thanks for the warm welcome rochelle…
LikeLike
oh… and re your own take… it’s so sad to lose someone before they’re gone… dementia is a cruel sickness and it’s so painful for the family when the memories are gone and your own mom doesn’t remember you any more…brought me to tears…
LikeLike
Dear Claudia,
I’ve said the same thing. It’s like the person has died but you can’t bury the body because it’s still breathing. Although I think Mom still remembers my husband, his sister and brother. I’m not sure she actually remembers anyone else. It’s the cruelest of diseases.
Thank you for commenting. I’ll be reading yours in a few.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
I think this captures the sad contrast between how things used to be, and the present reality. Sometimes it is the positive power of memories that can get you through. A life well-lived is never truly lost.
LikeLike
Dear Steve,
Your words are uplifting and encouraging. Thank you coming by and reading.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
My grandmother spent the last 13 years of her life in a nursing home because of her dementia. Not sure how long before she went into the home that she already had it. Certainly a struggle to lose someone while they’re still with you. Take care!
LikeLike
Dear Bryan,
My husband’s grandmother outlived her body by at least 10 years. Yes, it’s a struggle. The corpse walks among us and there’s no closure, only the empty shelled reminder. Thank you for your comments. Blessings.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Having read the comments that follow this sad story I don’t know what to say that hasn’t already been said, except to tell you that I also wish you the both the very best with this difficult situation. My paternal grandmother didn’t suffer dementia, but she was lobotomised when my father, her eldest child turned 18, and he was presented with the release papers to sign giving consent to the procedure that they said would cure her. She was left with the mental capacity of a five year old, in the body of a grown woman. As a small boy I was terrified when we visited the asylum where she spent most of her adult life, it was little more than a prison with bars on the windows to the cells they called the residents rooms. As we wandered down those long corridors to the day room, I kept to the middle of the passageway, avoiding the outstretched hands that would grasp through the bars to feel some human contact. At Christmas she would come and stay with us, this giant child, and I would have to give up my bed, which she would frequently soil at night. I would refuse to kiss her and tell my father I hated her because she was so strange and frightened me. I saw the pain in his face but I never understood, I was too young. He lost her far too young and bore a terrible weight of responsibility for what happened to her. She lived to be 86 years old, but she died a little girl. I don’t mean to sadden you with this, I just felt moved to share an experience your story woke within me. Your stories always make me think and feel. Shalom!
LikeLike
So many powerful comments… But this one, breaks my heart.
LikeLike
Dear JWD,
I can’t imagine who would call a lobotomy a cure and don’t know why anyone would d that to another human being. I’m stunned and greatly saddened by your story. Thank you for sharing it. That took great courage.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Rochelle, having lost my mother to Huntington’s Disease, two years ago this week, I am touched by your story. My mom was in and out, often in… but trapped in her horribly failing body. We watched Lawrence Welk EVERY week when I was young; I loved it. I still imitate him for my own kids, who have no idea what I’m referring to! 😉 A touching, beautiful story drawn of a “tower of a” woman. As usual, fabulous use of the prompt.
LikeLike
Dear Dawn,
I still have fond memories of the early days of our relationship when Jan would take me to his mom’s house. He used to change the channel on her or at least make rude comments when either Lawrence Welk or Grand Ole Opry came on. They were her two favorites and he detested them both. He was in his early twenties at the time and she in her forties. I got a kick out of watching the “wrestling matches” between them.
She was a tower of strength as she single-handedly raised four ornery, headstrong children. And did a great job, I might add.
I’m so sorry about your mother. My mom’s been gone 33 years and I still miss her terribly.
I’d love to see you LW imitations. I personally never cared much for him or his show. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Dementia ia s cruel, cruel master. Watching my mother disappear piece by piece… like your m-i-l, it is hard to see them lose those key bricks in the tower. HD, is genetic, and my grandmother who was a very public figure in our area, became a shadow of the incredibly strong and impressive woman she’d been… trying to hold onto who they were, when they are so different, it isa very sad thing. I’m so sorry for Jan and your loss. Your story is a tender, sad tribute, that clearly, so many (too many!) of us relate to. It is your gift, Rochelle. Dawn
LikeLike
My heart goes out to you and your husband Rochelle. My heart also goes out to his mother, who didn’t choose what happened to her and doesn’t understand it any more than the rest of us. May light and love be yours always. Wonderfully sad and moving story.
LikeLike
Dear Jackie,
I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose yourself as Mom has. She turned to me on one occasion recently and simply said, “I’m confused.” I wanted to stop and sob right then and there.
Thank you for your compliments and well wishes.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
So sad, the memories there, but…
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/12/26/ff-friday-fictioneers-carolyn-leaves-reality-rated-r-12272013/
LikeLike
Dear Scott,
At least we have good memories…lots of them. Thanks for dropping by.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
This brought back mixed memories for me of my Mum, happy and sad. SD
LikeLike