The next photo is the prompt. There’s much to look at. What do you see? Tell me in a hundred words or less. Then click the blue froggy guy after the prompt and link your story URL.
Genre: Realistic Fiction
Word Count: 99
HIBAKUSHA
When I was five my father opened our home to his widowed aunt.
“Why can’t Obasan live with her own children?” I whined and stamped my foot.
“Pikadon took them,” said Chichi. “We are her children now.”
“But she scares me.”
I soon saw past Obasan’s scarred face. Her stories delighted me. She taught me how to construct flapping birds and intricate shapes from colored paper.
One night she lay down to sleep and returned to the source.
Every year at O-Bon I honor her with mukae-bi, dance and sake.
Her elegant spirit surrounds me like a thousand winds.
.
.
.
An elegant and powerful tribute to those who survived one of man’s great atrocities.
Beautifully conveyed.
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Dear Elephant,
The true stories that have come out of that atrocity never cease to amaze me.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, Beautiful story of life and family solidarity in Japan after the war. Your research added a great deal to the story. Well written as always. 🙂 — Susan
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Dear Susan,
It seems that the Japanese have more sense of duty to family than we in the West. It goes without saying that I love the research part as much as the writing. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Charming little story. Cheers!
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Thank you, Paul. Nice of you to say so.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Your story reminds me of Karl Bruckner’s Sadako Wants To Live…very powerful and touching, you perfectly portrayed child’s honesty.
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Dear Loré,
I’m not familiar with the book but am familiar with Sadako’s story.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A beautifully informative story. I liked the idea of an ‘elegant spirit’. Good work, as always Rochelle.
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Dear Sandra,
I never get tired of elegant comments from a writer of your calibre. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
I know exactly how you got from there to here. I love the origami picture that you included with your excellent story. And I love how you take us all for a ride when your imagination gets on a roll.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
The journey is sweeter with friends and fellow authors.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A beautiful story of seeing beyond the flesh. Excellent.
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Dear Al,
It’s easy to look on the surface and reject, isn’t it? I’m as guilty of this as anyone.
Thank you.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Unfortunately, everybody is guilty. When asked whether we prefer looks or personality, the majority of people will say personality, but unless we speak to them in a way that we do not see what they look like for a while, then looks will always have a say in it as well
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This told so much.. when you mentioned the flapping birds I thought of the story of Sedako Sasaki .. and I almost expected the folding of the 1000 cranes.. but for most the end was different. I got the story even without the links but the added so much..
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Dear Björn,
I’m familiar with the Sadako’s story. Such a beautiful life snuffed out. I wasn’t consciously thinking of her when I wrote this. I’m glad you understood it without the links. I tried to find the shortest and most concise links so as not to bog down the reader.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Loved the use of the Japanese words here, adds to the power of the piece. I’d heard Pikadon before, but the links were appreciated for O-BON and HIBAKUSHU.
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Dear KT,
I’m glad the links were helpful. I hesitate when using foreign words in a piece but they do add to the flavor and feel. They most definitely felt necessary in this one.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very nice, love the thousand winds reference
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A thousand thank you’s, Mauvaispoemes.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’ve always loved origami – finding it peaceful, like your story. Alicia
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Dear Alicia,
I’m amazed at the things that can be made by folding paper. I, for one, could never get my fingers to obey so that’s one art form that passed me by. For me it’s anything but peaceful. Writing, on the other hand… 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Once again, or should I say “as usual”, your story is very touching. I would say, as your imagination kicks in, stories come out of seemingly nowhere, however, your imagination doesn’t kick in. It is always present. I am, as always, in awe. I bow down to your abilities.
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Dear Jan,
Thank you for the support and encouragement. The adoration is nice, too. 😉
Love you,
Rochelle
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Gorgeous story, Rochelle. You capture Japanese spirit so well–like a bird photographed mid-flight. I also love the photo of colorful origami you included. Great work.
Peace,
Marie Gail
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Dear Marie Gail,
This may well be one of the nicest compliments ever. It means a lot.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Up to your usual A1 standard, Rochelle. And an education as so often. Thank you
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Dear Jennifer,
Thank you for taking time from your well deserved hiatus to comment on my story. You’ve given me good reason to smile this morning.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This is a lovely story, Rochelle. A wonderful tribute to your narrator’s loved one.
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Thank you, Lisa. Glad you liked it.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle, I have run out of adjectives commenting on your amazing written words. This story is Elegant. I said that to myself half-way through the piece and it just continued. You are master to my novice – WOW! Nan 🙂
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Dear Nan,
Such a high compliment, I’m not sure how to respond. So I’ll simply say, “thank you.”
shalom,
Rochelle
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I think I must be quite dense. Please help me understand how the proimpt inspired your story.
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Dear Dawn,
Turnabout is fair play. While I loved your story I couldn’t figure out how you got there. Thank you for the explanation.
My journey began with the cuboctahedron, the half finished wooden structure the board with the shells is resting on. For whatever reason, my mind went straightaway to origami. I Googled ‘cuboctahedron origami’ and came up with some of the most amazing photos and videos. When I think of origami I think of Japan. There I let my mind wander some more. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m in awe of your intelligence. Thanks for sharing.
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😀
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Beautiful tribute to the courage and the spirit of survivors
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Dear, Siobhán.
It amazes me what people can survive and even rise above.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nice cultural crossover there. You pieced it together quite nicely.
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Thank you, Stephanie. 😀
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Seeing past the scars – The story captures what much of life is about. And finding the beauty where it’s given.
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Dear JD,
It’s easy to just look on the surface, isn’t it?
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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As usual, there is a little research needed after a Wisoff-Fields’ story. ‘Picadon’… I had an inkling. ‘Thousand Winds’… I like that.
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Dear Ted,
It really wasn’t meant to be cryptic, but you know how it is trying to get everything into a hundred words. 😉 But on the other hand, I don’t mind making the reader dig a little.
Thank you.
shalom,
Rochelle
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100??? I only see 99!!! Wasn’t going to say anything.
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I’m nothing if not conservative. Perhaps I should consider adding that one back in. Nah.
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Great story, as always Rochelle. You are wonderful at instilling real humanity in all your characters. I had an inkling what was meant by Pikadon, but I went to the blog post you linked to check.
-David
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Dear David,
Your comment tells me I did what I set out to do. It’s so easy to accept unfeeling text book history and go on without thinking of the people involved, isn’t it?
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Excellent, as always!
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Dear Scott,
Always nice to hear.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hi Rochelle, I’m always learning with your stories. Thanks!
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Dear Elizabeth,
That makes two of us. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Even without looking up the references, I felt moved, deeply moved, by the story. It was delicately and deftly written, just like brush-strokes on the canvas of a Japanese painting.
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Dear Vijaya,
To know a reader is moved is the greatest compliment an author can receive.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A very powerful story (thanks for the references). I loved that the child learned to look past what was on the outside to see the beauty within.
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Dear Ali,
I think children are better at acceptance. It probably didn’t take long to discover her beloved aunt behind the scars.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A lovely story Rochelle, and a great choice of picture, even though it had me stumped for quite a while.
Claire
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Dear Claire,
Glad you liked the story and the photo. I’d say you rose to occasion as usual.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Another great story with a moral 🙂
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😀 Thank you, Jackie.
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Beautiful Make passing not so scary.
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Dear Phyllis,
We can but hope
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great story, Rochelle. I love where you took us with this picture.
Marg
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Dear Marg,
Happy to have you along for the ride.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Sweet and sad at the same time.
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Dear Alice,
Life is like that, isn’t it?
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful story Rochelle … coming as it does, through the eyes of a child, it becomes so much more poignant. Thanks for sharing it. Georgia
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Dear Georgia,
For an innocent child to have to know of such atrocities, even if it’s through the scars of someone else, is sad.
Thank you.
shalom,
Rochelle
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So true Rochelle … and that is what brings the story so close to home. Love, Georgia.
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Told like one exceedingly familiar with Asian ways. You are indeed amazing, Rochelle. As I’ve said so often before…
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Dear Millie,
I am fascinated with Asian culture but am a mere student of life.
Thank you for such lovely comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Beautifully told and a great reminder of what we do to each other.
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Dear Patrick,
It is frightening what human beings do to one another, isn’t it?
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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As Patrick says, beautifully told. Thank you for the links and the education. So sensitively and powerfully done.
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Dear Sarah Ann,
Happy to include you in my own education process.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I enjoyed the story and the links. I admire the Japanese culture for their resilience. I didn’t write to the prompt this week because I won’t be able to read other’s stories and respond to comments, but I did post an interview with Ben Franklin from the archives.
You make a great story from a very difficult prompt.
I’ll be pondering what to name you next week 🙂 See you then.
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Dear Russell,
I’m honored and pleased that you stopped by to comment. Of course I’m sad that you didn’t write for the prompt this week and I shall remain “nameless.” Whatevah shall ah do?
I’ll have to read your Ben Franklin interview after work.
See you next week. Y’all come back now, y’hear.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A beautifully crafted story that feels like a long haiku, if that’s possible?
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Dear Liz,
A long haiku? Thank you for such a high compliment. .
Shalom,
Rochelle
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So simply told and moving. Thank you.
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Thank you, Hilary. 😀
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Beautiful, I love that last line. This is just a little jewel, Rochelle. A special, well-crafted story. I like the idea of traditions being carried on and cherished.
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Dear Amy,
Your comment surrounds me like a thousand winds. 😉
Thank you very much. .
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Charming story, Rochelle. Loved the last line! 🙂
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Thank you, Vinitha. 😀
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You have so captured the soul and essence of the Japanese people in that little story: their amazing resilience, their ability to rise up out of disasters, and continue with their lives with such dignity and apparent calmness.
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Dear Sarah,
It’s hard to even imagine the devastation, not to mention the residual effects on people and their families. I share your amazement at their resilience and indomitable spirits.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I read your story and then read the links. Those words were in the recesses of my memory, long forgotten, thank you for reviving them. That is a legacy we should never forget so that it never happens again. It turned it into such a sad and moving story.
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Dear Subroto,
Thank you for such profound comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Beautiful story, and such educational links. Of course, I knew about the bombs, and I was sure there was still anger in the population, but I hadn’t known about the beauty and thoughtfulness the culture had developed in the aftermath. It makes me want to read up a bit more about the post-WWII culture in Japan.
As an aside, have you read The Girls of Atomic City, by Denise Kiernan? It’s about the town in which the bomb was built, and how the workers were all kept in the dark about what they were doing. It’s a very interesting read, and is a unique peek into how government secrecy met up with the new working women of the day.
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Dear Emilie,
Japanese culture is something I find incredibly fascinating. The Asian mindset is so different than the Western.
I haven’t read the book you mentioned. It sounds interesting. Another book I’d recommend is The Red Kimono by Jan Marler Morrill. It’s based on Jan’s mother’s time in a Japanese internment camp during WWII. And…Jan used to be a Friday Fictioneer. 😉 Well worth the read. I couldn’t put it down. .
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hi Rochelle ~ I like the feeling of being surrounded by a thousand winds. So beautiful. What a change of spirit the little one grew into…
Ellespeth
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Dear Ellespeth,
This little one received a rare education, didn’t she?
Thank you for your sweet comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Told through the voice of a child makes this even more moving and real, I love that you added Japanese in the story and the links were a great addition. Truly was touched by this, blessings.
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Dear Oliana,
it wouldn’t seem true to life without the Japanese words, would it? I only wish I knew more.
Domo Arigato. Thank you very much.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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i wish i could write like this, congrats
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Thank you, I B Arora.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It always amazes me how much you manage to convey in so few words.
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Dear Etienne,
I savor such compliments. Thank you.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Such a beautiful story Rochelle.
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I particularly like the detail of Obasan’s scarred face, and how it passes without further explanation; and the line “One night she lay down to sleep and returned to the source.” The phrasing conjures just the right atmosphere, I think 😉
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Dear Sue,
Sorry to be so late getting back to thank you for you affirming comments.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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