The following photo is the PHOTO PROMPT. What does it say to you? I dare you to look beyond the subject. I double dare you!
PHOTO PROMPT © Douglas M. MacIlroy
Genre: Realistic Fiction
Word Count: 100
HAFIZ WAS RIGHT
“Mommy,” cried Elise, “there’s a monster under my bed and a dragon in my closet.”
“You’re letting your imagination run away with you,” she heard her mother’s voice say. “Relax and close your eyes.”
“I’m afraid.” Like a child Elise pulled the covers over her head, but demons fomented rumors in her head. Her mind was awash in confusion and pain until finally she drifted off into a fitful, sweat-soaked, nightmare-riddled sleep.
When morning came, she rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. She stared at her tired reflection and muttered, “I’ve got to find a better job.”
***
FIND A BETTER JOB
Now
That
All your worry
Has proved such an
Unlucrative
Business,
Why
Not
Find a better
Job.
~~HAFIZ
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
Hi Rochelle. Nicely written story. Can’t quite figure out if Elise is imagining her mum’s voice in some kind of brief reversion to childhood. Mainly as the last paragraph could mean it’s Elise who needs a new job.
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Dear Weltchy,
I’ve thought about going back and clarifying. Still toying with the idea. Elise is an adult under stress.
Thank you for reading.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I thought that was what you were aiming for but wasn’t fully sure.
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Rochelle,
You portrayed a nightmare so beautifully that you certainly had me believing she was a child and her mother was a wee bit hard in making her suffer it alone. Nice twist at the end to find she was the adult. I think if her job does that to her. Cheers Irene
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Dear Irene,
Her job definitely does it to her. 😉 I’m glad you caught what I was saying.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great story! Poor Elise, maybe she should look into zen master or bed tester as potential new careers 😉
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Dear Cheryl,
Elise is looking at a new career soon and very soon. 😉
Glad you understood and liked my story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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If Elises’s job gives her nightmares about childhood monsters and fears, she definitely needs to rething her career. The nightmare is very vivid, and I could empathise with tired Elise.
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Dear GAH,
I think Elise’s nightmares will soon end as she realizes that Hafiz gave the best advice.
To know that you empathized is a high compliment and I thank you for such a lovely comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I think getting your wisdom from philosophers and poets is a great idea… changing a job to get rid of your nightmares is a great idea.
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Dear Björn,
I agree on both counts. Elise hopes the nightmares are nearly over. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Elise,
You’re already gone….
Great title.
Ciao, Bella.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
This morning I have seventy-two days to remember this.
Shalomaloha,
Elise
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I had a job like this once – then I retired. Well done.
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Dear Alicia,
My job does sometimes have this effect on me. I, too, am looking forward to retirement four months from now. 😉 My career awaits.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Loved the twist at the end! It was hilarious! Great story Rochelle, and as always, you told it well.
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Dear Joy,
Glad you caught that.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I heard of a church that had a placard saying WHY PRAY WHEN YOU CAN WORRY? Nice stuff.
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Dear J Hardy,
I’m familiar with that placard. However in the wee hours of the night when my head’s spinning it’s easy to forget to pray.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ok, I’ll be honest – I missed your intent here (until I read some of your responses) 🙂 I couldn’t figure out why the child suddenly became an adult… Then again, I’m super tired from work, so that’s probably got a lot to do with it.
Missing this bit meant I don’t feel I got all of what you intended here.
Ah well, next time I’ll endeavor to be more switched on when I read!
Cheers
KT
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Dear KT,
I understand tired from work. My job makes me nuts sometimes.
After more than three comments admitting to confusion I thought it necessary to go back and make it a bit clearer as to who Elise is and that she’s actually an adult the entire time. I hope my changes help.
Thank you for taking the time and for being honest.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Simple change- adding ‘Like a child’ if I’m correct- but it makes all the difference here. I’ve also had 8 hours sleep too 🙂
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Yes, KT,
“Like a child” is the major change. Thank you for letting me know it worked. Good on the 8 hours. I’m about to go down for my usual five. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hafiz is right. Again. I too had monsters as bosses.
(Double dares nowadays??)
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Dear Patrick,
Bosses, corporations, recalcitrant customers…none of which I’ll miss.
Sometimes it takes a double dare to get people outside the box. 😉
Thank you,
Shalom,
Rochelle
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There are no jobs that are worth breaking your health. If she doesn’t make a change soon, she’ll be too ill. Well written with great dialogue, Rochelle. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne,
Elise is doing everything she can to keep her head afloat.;) The change is coming soon.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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technically, sweat soaked and nightmare riddled should be hyphenated because “sleep” follows them. that would save you two words. however, as you well know, you don’t need to be technically correct to be emotionally effective.
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Dear Rich,
Nice to see you here. I’ve added the hyphens and used the two extra words wisely, I hope. It seems that I needed to make some minor changes.
I hope your comment implies that my story is emotionally effective.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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no need for hope here. 😉
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Gawd. If the job is doing that to her, it’s definitely time to look elsewhere. Nightmarish regressions to childhood are not a good sign. Hafiz was indeed, right. Great story Rochelle!
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Dear Eric,
I’m glad you understood where my story was going. she definitely needs a change. She will have it soon. 😉
Thank you for such a great comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The transition of Elise from child to grownup in one night was first a bit confusing…but reading the comments it seems she went from grown-up to child that night. Good advice from Hafiz!
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Dear Ansumani,
The first time a friend shared that poem with my I cried.
I’m glad you figured out my story. However there was enough confusion that I went back and changed a few details. I hope it’s clearer now.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very evocative, although I must admit I wasn’t sure I got it without reading the comments. I think I needed a little extra clue to her age in the morning scene, although I’m not sure I can offer any suggestions as to how you’d do that without spoiling the flow. I’m with BrainSnorts above on the hyphens – those phrases tripped me up a little – so maybe you could use those saved words on the clue.
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Dear Jen,
As you know, I’m willing to change things when necessary. I did exactly as you and Rich suggested. I hyphenated the four words, making them two. Then I did a bit of tweaking which I hope makes it clear enough without having to make people wade through the comment. Thank you for your honest input.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Haven’t I met this Elise character somewhere before? 🙂
As a couple others have mentioned, I was confused by the transition from childhood to working and finding another job.
I do like the Hafiz reference.
Peace,
Marie Gail
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Dear Marie Gail,
Oh I’m sure you’ve met Elise before. She’s a very close friend (and sometimes enemy) of mine. 😉
As you know, when more than one person makes such a comment as to being confused, I feel the need to take another look. This I’ve done. I hope it’s clearer now.
I love Hafiz…thanks to Doug.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Well done as always. I agree she should get another job. One where she brings pleasant dreams.
Would please do me a favor. I moved too fast and the prompt photo came up instead of my dragon eye. I now have two of the same ff stories. Would you please delete the story with the photo prompt so only the story with the dragon eye stays.
Thank you.
Blessings
Phyllis
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Dear Phyllis,
Elise has a career waiting for her when the stressful job is over. 😉
I’ve taken care of your request, no worries. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Good for her.
Thank you from me.
Blessings,
Phyllis
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Hafiz is right, I think it is time she got a new job, especially if her present one is doing that.
Great story Rochelle!
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Dear Francesca,
Hafiz is most definitely right. A new job awaits her. 😀
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I read this early, early this morning – before bed. It was a little confusing but I thought I was tired. Came back just now and read it again and it made sense. Then I read the comments – about your edit. So the edit worked!
Yes, a better job – retirement. Yay!
Ellespeth
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Dear Ellespeth,
I’m of the mindset that if more than one person says it’s confusing it should be changed. I’m pleased that the edit worked for you.
Not much longer now.
Thank you for giving my story a second chance.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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small favor, rochelle…would you please remove my link for this week’s entry? thanks in advance and see you next week,
Ellespeth
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Will do Ellespeth. I notice there was nothing there. I hope all is well.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle.
Ellespeth
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another life needing a reboot. 🙂
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And soon it will happen, Plaridel. 😀
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I admit I didn’t get this one until I read the comments – now it makes perfect sense.
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Dear Louise,
As you can see from the comments I went back and edited, hoping to make it less confusing. I’m glad it makes sense now.
Thank you for taking time to read and comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Lovely, imaginative piece. I can relate to the feeling of monsters waiting to pounce – working in a stressful job has that effect. I love your description of her self-examination in the mirror. Cheers, Margaret
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Dear Margaret,
Elise is looking forward to being away from that job. Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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So working at Jurrasic Park wasn’t the job she hoped it would be!
Rosey Pinkerton’s blog
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Sometimes it does feel like Jurassic Park to Elise, Rosey. Suffice it to say she’s ready for a change.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nice story! When I read the words “Like a child…” I realised that she was actually all grown up. I think there are very few of us who haven’t woken up in such a state after a nightmare and then realised with resignation that the work day is about to start.
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Dear Ali,
In my original post I didn’t have “Like a child…” which caused a lot of confusion. I’m grateful to those who were honest enough to say so. A bit of tweaking seems to have helped I think.
As for the nightmares…retirement’s looking sweeter all the time.
Thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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AnElephantCant do an entry this week
He is in Scotland and just does not have time
Please don’t think it a crime
He does this wee rhyme
To tell Rochelle he finds her story sublime
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Dear Elephant,
I’ll miss your pink face among the line-up this week. Love the wee rhyme. It made me smile.
Enjoy your respite.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ah I feel this was written just for me and the story works so well with the poetry of Hafiz. Fortunately Friday Fictioneers keep me sane. But you needed to put in the lines that came next after the first stanza.
“And while you at it, scouting about town
and fine tuning your resume, maybe light a
candle in some church.”
Brilliant! This man would have been a great consultant, just missed it by 700 years 😉
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Dear Subroto,
In the book I have of Hafiz poetry there weren’t any lines after “find a better job.”
I relate so well to what you say. When I first started with Friday Fictioneers I was going through a very tough time on the job. I quickly made some lifelong friends and the exercise of writing flash fiction every week gave me something to look forward to beside the daily nightmare. So when Madison announced she was stepping down as FF facilitator I begged to take it on. Even my husband would tell you that Friday Fictioneers is one of the things that kept me sane during a very stressful time.
Happily, the worst of the nightmare has ended and the rest will be over in October.
As for Hafiz, when I was introduced to his magnificent words, I literally wept.
I’m glad you’re a part of us, Subroto. You’re one I look forward to seeing every week.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Your story was clear to me. I always want my Mom when I’m stressed out and why is it that our worst fears always come out at night and the morning brings back the clarity and sanity? It must come from our cavewoman days when the tigers always fed at night!
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Dear Tracey,
After a few saying they were confused by my abstract offering (even after a bit of editing) your comment is affirming. How many times in the milieu of work and being an adult have just wanted to curl up next to my mom and hear her say everything will be okay?
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’ve had to steer clear of FF for a couple of weeks… too much on my plate, and too little time! So the too much work resonates! Admittedly, I was confused this week, which is rare with your stories. While there are clues, “like a child,” for instance; I still wasn’t sure if she was a child or an adult. The line: “heard her mother’s voice say,” threw me off too. I was guessing that it was a voice from the past (thus, not “heard her mother say”) but admittedly, it was reading the comments that clarified these details. Again, this is rare– 😉
Your stories always take me places, and I don’t know how your balance FF with all the other stories and work going on in your life right now! You’re inspiring in your generosity and verve.
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Dear Dawn,
This one was one of those that some saw clearly and others didn’t. I hope my story took you places regardless of the confusion. To some degree it’s about what goes on in Elise’s mind as she tries to balance career and job demands.
Your kind words and support make me smile. One of the reasons I continue with Friday Fictioneers. Admittedly there are times it’s a bit daunting. In other words, there will be reruns from time to time. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Love it, Nightmares, especially about work are horrible. Dreams can take you places your waking mind just doesn’t get – yet… Well done.
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Dear Solo,
There’s nothing I hate worse than my job plaguing my sleep. At any rate, I’m pleased that you liked my story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I always feel like when I dream about work I should get paid double time!
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Dear Dawn,
That’s a great thought. 😀
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m sure there’s many who would rest far easier with a different job. The description of her sleep is great. Oh, that sounds like a horrible sleep all right! Well done, Rochelle.
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Dear Amy,
Elise will soon be sleeping much better. 😉 Glad you liked my story.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle,
worry really is a terrible business, although it’s one that’s very hard to quit. Wonderful description and great poem at the end. That really ties it together. I’ve never heard of him before.
-David
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Dear David,
Hafiz’s poems seem so current when in reality he lived nearly seven hundred years ago.
I hate it when worry and stress from work spill over into my off-the-clock life.
Thank you for taking time to read and leave nice comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I once had a job that literally gave me nightmares. Two weeks after I quit the police came looking for “officers” of the business – including my managerial position – because of fraud committed by the boss. I was so lucky to get out of there when I did.
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Dear Audrey,
Wow, that really was a nightmare job. I’m glad you got out when you did.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great story, and great title–Hafiz WAS right!!!
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Thank you, Jan. Glad you liked it. ;D
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great story Rochelle! I love the whole story and Hafiz was correct – I agree. Awesome and easy to picture! Nan
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Dear Nan,
I’m really glad you liked my story. It seemed to confuse a few.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear I. B. Reddy,
Sounds like U.B. Reddy for retirement. 🙂 One of my favorite scriptures is where Jesus say, “Who, by worrying, can add a single day to their life?” However, I know people who wouldn’t be happy if they didn’t have something to worry about. They seem comforted by their troubles. Proving once again, that misery truly does love company.
– Mac
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Dear Mac,
I.B. more Reddy for retirement than I can say. It won’t be long now. Working at not worrying but those monsters in the closet are a real problem some days.
Thanks for coming by.
Shalom,
IB Reddy
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I think this might be one of my favourites from you, Rochelle. Nicely done.
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Dear Peter,
You did it. You made me smile.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Your story makes me glad that I gave up on the notion of being employed many years ago in favour of creative venture, although my finances are less stable!
Also, my husband chucked in being a lawyer about 20 years ago, and became a self-employed musician and furniture restorer instead (the two things he’d wanted to do in the first place, before his parents told him he needed a “proper” career).
So there we are, the pair of us not so wealthy but also not having so many sleepless nights. It took me many years not to have nightmares anymore about being late to work, or forgetting to take my nurse’s uniform with me. Although occasionally, I dream these days of being late to a singing performance, or opening my mouth in front of a huge audience and nothing coming out.
I guess that no job is perfect, but some are definitely more satisfying.
All best wishes
Sarah
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Dear Sarah
I’m looking forward to no longer having to punch the time clock. It won’t be long now. I imagine the dreams will continue for a while.
So you’re a singer? Fascinating.
I always enjoy your comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
It’s great not having to punch the time clock, although I often have it punched for me by Mister, who is the human equivalent of a speaking clock. Also, my Labrador has a built in clock in her stomach.
Yes, I am a singer but haven’t done any solo recitals for the last few years, as I had a series of viruses that did unpleasant things to my voice for a while. It has recovered now, but at the moment I’m just singing in a choir, often jumping parts where my voice is needed — anything from mezzo soprano down to tenor! I also train junior choristers.
Ditto, I enjoy your comments, too.
All best wishes
Sarah
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Ah, yes…you’ve just described almost every out of home job I’ve ever had. I don’t do well with the whole 9-5 routine, and I still have nightmares from time to time about them. Wonderful piece.
I’ve moved blogs, so if/when you get the chance to check out my link, be prepared for a change. 🙂
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Dear Emilie,
I’m glad this story described it for you but sorry that you still have those nightmares.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A reversion to childhood in your dreams is your subconscious trying to escape the responsibilities and stresses of adult life. With the nightmare as well I’d say she definitely needs to find a new job!
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Dear Fairymind,
Not to worry. Elise will soon have that better job. 😉 Glad you liked my story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I love it but I thought it was the Mom looking in the mirror saying she needed to find a new job other than motherhood. I then realized it was the “child” looking in the mirror and was slightly confused. When I reread it, it all made perfect sense. Well done.
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Dear Stacey,
Sorry about the confusion, but I can’t say I’m sorry you read it twice. 😉
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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No reason to be sorry at all! Thought provoking. I am intrigued by your Friday Fictionaries; what a great idea!
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Sounds like my life! But I got a new job – retirement. 🙂 Still sees goblins and gooks sometimes but they give inspiration for story telling. Thanks for yours.
Lily
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Dear Lily,
Elise will soon have the same new job. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The stress of being in the wrong job can do weird things to the mind. Thanks for keepingFF going despite the stress of marketing your own book!
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Dear Liz,
Soon the stress of my day job will be no more and I’ll be able to devote more time to writing and promotion. Although I think the first week of retirement might be spent swimming, eating and sleeping. 😉 Oh yes, there will still be Friday Fictioneers.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very nice story. I liked the surprise ending. It was a nice graceful twist in the plot!
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Dear OnChi,
Thank you for stopping by for the read and leaving kind words. I’m glad you liked it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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An unexpected ending!
Here’s mine for this week: http://collinesblog.com/2015/06/02/scap-metal/
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Dear Colline,
Not everything is what it seems and a woman’s inner child needs her mom.
Thanks for reading.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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