29 April 2016

Published April 27, 2016 by rochellewisoff

Snorkeling in St. Thomas

Undersea St. Thomas 4 Meme

KUDOS TO OUR RESIDENT AWARD WINNER SANDRA CROOK 

Sandra Crook

Click Here to read more!

Best wishes go out to our friend CEAYR and hopes that he’ll be pain free soon. 

The following photo is the PROMPT. Keep in mind that all photos are the property of the contributor, therefore copyrighted and require express permission to use for purposes other than Friday Fictioneers. Giving credit to whom credit is due is proper etiquette.

 

PHOTO PROMPT © Mary Shipman

PHOTO PROMPT © Mary Shipman

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Genre: Historical Fiction

Word Count: 100

IKH HOB DIKH TSUFIL LIB*

          Beryl’s wealthy uncle paid his way to America to study medicine in exchange for help in his store. The long narrow shop smelled of leather, licorice, and chocolate, but mostly, it reeked of Uncle Sol’s cigars.

          “Did you leave a sweetheart in Moldavia, Beryl?”

          “Yes sir.”

          “Say the word and I’ll bring her over.”

***

                      “Beryl, don’t go. I’ll die of a broken heart.” 

                      “I’ll come back for you, Havah.” 

***

          “She perished in a pogrom four years ago.”

          Sol stopped to wait on a young mother with her child. 

          “Beryl, meet Mrs. Gitterman from Moldavia.”

            Beryl’s heart thundered her name. “Havah!”

*I Love You Too Much

Just for fun an updated traditional Yiddish melody if you’re in the mood. 😉

115 comments on “29 April 2016

  • I’m sensing trouble ahead for Arel and Havah; there’s unfinished business to be resolved here. This is a precis that fits the photo prompt beautifully – I can almost smell the shop from here. Enjoying From Silt and Ashes right now, Rochelle. Well done, and thank you for the promo. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Sandra,

      Yes, Beryl does present a bit of a challenge for Arel and Havah. I’m happy you’re enjoying FSAA. I’m enjoying the continuation of their lives in Kansas City in the next book.

      You’re more than welcome for the promo. 😉 I’m looking forward to reading your stories in a bit.

      Thank you for coming by. L’chaim and
      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • What a nice person the uncle was to give his nephew a chance to come to the U.S. to study. Family members should help each other. If this is from your book, I haven’t read it yet. I don’t know if the woman with the child is his lost love or just reminds him of her. I enjoyed the music. Well written as always, Rochelle. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Suzanne,

      Sol has the bucks to bring his nephew over and also has a generous heart. This isn’t exactly an excerpt from From Silt and Ashes but it is a turnabout of a scene in it. I took the moment and put it in Beryl’s point of view. As for the woman, she is indeed his lost love.
      I hope you’ll have a chance to read the books soon. 😉 Glad you liked the music. It’s not necessary to the story. I just thought it was fun.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Havah is just the perfect name for a long lost love, I feel. This was awesome with real emotions within the details. Thank you for sharing the song as well.
    Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

  • Super job. The sentence on the shop is so descriptive that I can see and smell it. Leather, chocolate and licorice, with a lingering smell of cigar smoke over all. Nobody doesn’t love those smells. Lol. Even if you don’t like the taste. Also, I think the link to the music does lend itself to the story. After watching it, I knew what your story title meant. “I love You To Much.” The music, Yiddish, Jazz & Bebop, was fun. You amaze me.

    Like

  • This is a very wonderful piece that certainly evokes a certain aspect of the interesting photo image. As usual Rochelle, you have captured the essence of shop particularly well, and having read through the comments, it is no wonder.

    I feel a bit odd suggesting this but … offered with the best of intentions, of course, but I have to say there are some confusing elements within this piece. I know you’ve taken this scene from one of your books and reworked it slightly, but there are 2 things, one which, at least, to my mind, makes me stop and “trip.”

    I initially was confused about the names “Beryl & Barry” until I realized that it was one in the same person, as you mentioned in the comments. And this could be perhaps glossed over, after all, it’s only 100 words … but what has me feeling “off” is the time line. I can’t place a fixed sense of time.

    I’m under the impression that Beryl/Barry is still a young man, and so when he replies that his sweetheart has died years ago, my mind automatically starts asking all kinds of questions. Like, how did he manage to escape, how long ago was this, he left before the terrible carnage began? Had no idea or inkling of what was to come? etc. And so, then, when his lost love, presumed dead, enters the store and is introduced as the wife of another? This is an entirely valid premise – and definitely, I suspect is quite something in your novel – but in this 100 “worder” as I’m understanding it, it just adds to the absolute confusion of “timing” in my mind.

    This technicality aside, and perhaps it’s just how I’m reading this, although I’ve read it over and over and over again, the story is wonderful. You’ve captured the essence of loss and longing, then the shock of discovery really well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear WC,

      I’m thinking I might go back and tweak the name thing. Another issue of course is the word count. In the book, Beryl and his family left the village not too long before Havah’s family perished in the pogrom. Yes, in the book, Beryl or Barry as his very Americanized aunt and uncle call him, presents Havah with a whole new set of problems. She was the sole survivor of her family when she narrowly escaped the pogrom. Due to extenuating circumstances and her falling in love with Arel Gitterman, she forgets Beryl who left when she was fourteen or fifteen. Beryl never knew that she survived. He’d heard from one other survivor that the entire family perished. I hope that helps. Now I’m going back to see how I might tweak. 😉
      Never be shy about critiquing or asking questions. It’s how we all learn and grow as authors.
      Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

      • There. Simple tweaking…I took out Barry and replaced it with Beryl. If it confused two people, that’s two too many. I took out one of the ‘uncle’s and made it “four years ago.” Which is when he believes she perished.

        Hope that helps.

        Shalom,

        Rochelle

        Like

      • thanks for adding the additional backstory here 🙂 I really appreciate.

        I’m sure in the “extended version” it all makes perfect sense – and you’re right, it’s the challenge of 100 words. To consider “reworking” a story, sometimes, and this never ceases to amaze me, how a few words, even if carefully chosen, can either change the direction, or in a sudden swoop, “undo” what makes sense in our minds. But that’s the beauty (and frustration at times) of creating – writing, art etc. Nonetheless, you’ve still created a very interesting and strong piece.

        Shalom 🙂
        and how in even changing a point of view, or even as we write a “new story”

        Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Karen,

      Not to worry…the child isn’t Beryl’s. But poor Beryl never got over the guilt of having “left her to die” which of course he didn’t. Although there is awkwardness among them there cigars. 😉

      Thank you for dropping by.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Dear Rochelle,

    These characters seem familiar somehow. 🙂 Good teaser! Super well-written.

    I also enjoyed Mostly Kosher. Thanks for providing the entertainment for my Wednesday afternoon.

    Peace (and kosher chicken grease),
    Marie Gail

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Marie Gail,

      Thank you for your good words. I found Mostly Kosher delightful. The song itself is an old song but they’ve certainly given it a new spin. Happy to entertain.

      The chicken grease is always Kosher…we call it schmaltz. 😉

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Loved having Beryl’s (it was obvious to me Berry was the same, btw) point of view of this particular scene…And your descriptions brought me directly into the store.

    Nice video – he has a honey-smooth voice, the male singer does! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Dale,

      You might’ve had the advantage with the names. 😉 It was kind of fun writing the scene from his point of view.

      I thought the video was fun. A nice spin on an old Yiddish favorite, although I could’ve done without the Jewish mother with the breakfast. Distracting bit of shtick.

      Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Poor Beryl in for a heartache now. Is it true the pain spurred him on to write “Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up”. A song made into a hit by another Beryl aka Barry White. I think I need to read your books now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Bikurgurl,

      I did my best to make this snippet stand alone which is a challenge with any 100 word story. It seems to have worked for some and not for others. Thank you for taking the time to read and for your honesty.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Liz,

      it’s actually a scene in the book that I reworked from Beryl’s point of view. I see the confusion in the name, however, it’s also an old Yiddish name that can be used for boy or girl. His aunt and uncle Americanize it and call him Barry.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • I think I’d like the smell of that shop. Shops today don’t really smell of anything much, do they? I hope Beryl (I got confused at first as I only know that as a girl’s name!) can sort out this little tangle. I’m guessing that from the date he thought she’d died, it’s not his child…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Sue,

      What can I say, my husband’s name is Jan and my eldest son’s name is Shannon, which are primarily female names here in the States. I found Beryl in a listing of Yiddish male names. Yes, Havah has a child in the second book, From Silt and Ashes. A rather precocious one at that. 😉

      Shalom,

      Sam

      Like

  • Dear Rochelle: Such a world (inner and outer, so to speak) you’ve got going on in your novels, Rochelle. The drawings are really an enhancement, as I’m not the most visual person. I tend to be more aural/hortatory than visual.
    Oh, but darnit, once again, I’m having problems with InLinkz (with a plea in to them for their help), so do you mind if I put the link here for now? it won’t let me load any type of photo: not Mary Shipman’s, not my own. Nada. Weird, and only started happening a month or two ago. I hope I get some answer soon, as these are so fun to do and I want to follow the FF rules. [if the link is okay to give–here it is: https://leighswordsmithery.wordpress.com/2016/04/28/friday-fictioneers-deannas-laundry-fan-fiction/%5D Thanks!
    Peace and happy (almost) Friday,
    Leigh

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Leigh,

      Thank you for such a lovely compliment. Have you had a chance to read either novel yet?

      As for the link. I’m afraid it won’t do you much good. If it actually led to a page or story I could link it for you, however it just leads to an “oops” page. I’m not sure if that’s why you’re having the difficulty with inLinkz.

      Sorry.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

      • I must confess, I have not read Kaddish or From Silt & Ashes yet, although both sound fascinating from what I’ve read on your blog. [I have read your short story collection, tho, and it was really good.] I’ve been working a PT/temp job, tho . . . trying to beef up the reading funds (and save college money: scary thought)!

        Like

          • A box set with fold-out posters/artwork would be an awesome concept. . . . One reason to lament the ‘passing on’ (but now, resurgence) of LPs is all the album art that was lost. Then there’s the movie; are you writing a screenplay, Rochelle? I think it would be perfect material. Have you submitted reviews/request for book reviews to Lilith magazine, by the way?

            Like

            • Actually, Leigh, a fourth book due out soon is the coffee table to book to go with the novels. It will be a book of illustrations…ie the character studies I’ve been posting. I’ve had more than one person suggest the first book and the second, too, should be movies. I haven’t tackled a screenplay…yet. I’m learning never to say, ‘never.’
              I haven’t submitted to Lilith magazine. I’m not familiar but will look it up. Thank you.

              Liked by 1 person

          • Great idea! Long story short, no library here, other than the little book box. Have to go a town (or two or more) over and pay {??} I can’t remember what. I think a couple hundred a year; I support libraries, but financially, not able to do that amount right now. But when I’m rich, I’ll do those bookstore/library grants like Patterson does . . . ! 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Mike,

      What can I say? I almost feel I should apologize to the Brits. 😉 However, Beryl was on a list of Yiddish boy names and fits well in the book when his aunt and uncle have Anglicized it by calling him Barry. No turning back now since the book’s been out since December. What’s in a name?

      Thank you for your complimentary words re the story itself.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • I finished Please Say Kaddish for me on a train journey the other day. My poor husband had no one to talk to I was so absorbed in the story. I have just ordered From Silt and Ashes. The story above whetted my curiosity. I was confused by the Beryl, too!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Hillary,

      I love hearing feedback such as yours. Perhaps your husband would like to read the books, too. 😉 I hope you’ll leave a review on Amazon and if you could patch it into the dot.com page. I don’t know why Amazon can’t get their act together and post all reviews in all countries.

      As for Beryl…a this point I’m laughing and shaking my head. I had no idea there would be so much confusion over the name since the list I got it from was a list of Jewish boy’s names. It will be clearer in the book I think. 😉

      Thank you and shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • How DO you manage to put SO much into such few words – Beryl’s heartbreak, the unfortunate Havah and child, the uncle, the shop that smells of leather, licorice, chocolate, Uncle Sol’s cigars?
    Brilliant, just brilliant.
    Also, full of possibilities for the future. Wow!

    Like

  • Wonderful! but sad too… love lost… maybe one day they will have the chance to be together. (My grandfather’s brother and my grandmother’s sister used to be childhood sweethearts. They married other people. Their partners have both passed now, and they are “seeing” each other, (both are in their late 80s) I love this story!)

    Like

  • Oh the poor guy. Happy to see her and heartbroken to see he lost her at the same time. I didn’t have problems with Beryl/Barry (read it yesterday right after you posted it, but didn’t get around to comment until now). But maybe that’s because I know who Havah is, not yet read your books, but have been following your little snippets and character profiles for over a year now, so she is like someone I know. I love the shop, the shopkeeper, the whole setting. Again, you draw us in expertly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Gabriele,

      The name Beryl was bound to cause confusion no matter what I did. It seems that to the English this is strictly a girl’s name. So now I just shake my head and laugh. I’m glad that you weren’t confused by Beryl/Barry. It’s in the book that way and ever more shall be. However this little scene is a rewrite that’s not in the book. In the book the scene is from Havah’s point of view. At any rate I don’t want to say too much. 😉

      Your comments have me smiling and I’m glad you already feel an affinity for these characters who are very real to me. Thank you so much. I look forward to your feedback when you have a chance to read the books.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

    • Dear Dawn,

      It is a bittersweet reunion in From Silt and Ashes as well. It never occurred to either Beryl or Havah that they’d ever see each other again and certainly not in Kansas City of all places. Admittedly it’s one of my favorite parts of the book as well. 😉 I’m happy to do know that you’re married to a Beryl. I’m married to a Jan. 😉

      Thank you so much for your kind words.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • This is a delightful story, and the shop is perfectly written. I wonder this accidental triangle goes from here?
    One tiny point of perhaps transatlantic mistranslation, I took Beryl to be a girl’s name as it usually is here, and that threw me for a moment! That was my error though, rereading it made everything clear.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear RG,

      The accidental triangle is all played out in my novel, From Silt and Ashes, the sequel to Please Say Kaddish for Me. 😉

      One of the things I didn’t realize is that, while Beryl is a Yiddish boys (or girl’s) name, it seems to be only a girl’s name on your side of the pond. I’m glad that you were able to clear up your confusion and really pleased you liked the story and took the time to say so.
      Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • This shop really came alive with your description and then the underlying sorrow and then happy reunion! So much happening here. Well written as always, Rochelle. I love this…Beryl’s heart thundered her name. “Havah!” Music was great, too!

    Liked by 1 person

  • Rochelle,
    what a great piece, although I can’t imagine the mixture of emotions Beryl must feel at seeing her again. Not an easy situation for anyone. It reminds me of stories of soldiers who come from the war to find their wives remarried since they thought they were dead.

    I’m finally back after a few weeks off. Hopefully I’ll be around a bit more from now on. I’ve missed the group here.
    -David

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear David,

      This is, admittedly, a snippet from From Silt And Ashes, but written from Beryl’s point of view instead of Havah’s. I’m glad it worked for you.

      I’m happy to see you back. Yes, I did miss you. You always leave a David shaped hole in the link list when you’re gone. Hope everyone’s in good health and mindset now.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Rochelle, Recreating the scene of the store with sights and smell and a sense of the space available in just a few words was an example of good writng and to adding to that almost two backstories was brilliant. Can’t wait to read the whole story!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Dawn,

      Not sure what confused you. I just wrote the flip side of the scene in Sol’s store when Beryl Mayoravich, Havah’s childhood sweetheart suddenly appears in From Silt and Ashes. It’s from his point of view. Of course, I’m a tease. I want to whet the reader’s appetite. 😉

      Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

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