15 June 2018

Published June 13, 2018 by rochellewisoff

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Genre: Literary Fiction

Word Count: 100

THE NIGHT BEFORE

            At rehearsal dinner Daddy beamed. “Welcome to the family, Nathan.”

            Nathan’s ice-blue eyes scorched me. “Til death do us part.”   

           The thick summer breeze did little to cool the screened-in sleeping porch. Nonetheless, Jimmy’s hot breath on my neck gave me chills.

          “Nathan will kill you, Jimmy.”

          “Don’t matter without you, Lucie.”

           Whirring cicadas drowned out my whispered protests. Mutual desire finally had its way and I melted into Jimmy’s ebony arms.

___

            No doubt Mama will swoon and Daddy will swear at the shame I’ve brought.

            Miles from them, my beloved’s dark eyes consume me. “Til death do us part.”  

 

 

 

100 comments on “15 June 2018”

    • Dear Susan,

      No. This story isn’t based on any true history. It’s my hope that Nathan will count his losses and let it go. Somehow I don’t think he will. Thank you very very much. 😉

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

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      Reply ↓

  • Ice-blue eyes that scorch–along with the promise of death–chilling, to say the least.

    I had to Google this picture to help me figure out what it is. Turns out I was right, but your story helped clarify the setting for me 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  • Great story that definitely suggests Nathan will take revenge on the couple. Putting a few thousand miles between themselves and him and getting new identities could be one solution. I really like your phrase “thick summer breeze” too.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Dear Penny,

      I’m sure if Lucie doesn’t realize the cost of her actions, she will. Although, I’m also sure that marrying Nathan wouldn’t have ended well for her. Either way he was a risk. Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

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      Reply ↓

  • I don’t have any problems whatsoever with the historical fiction bit. Clearly this is an interracial affair at the time of slavery in the US, a time that some obviously want to get back again? Which makes it historical fiction because it’s history, and the story is fictional. Otherwise it would be a biography or do I understand that wrong?
    Anyway, great story telling, Rochelle. In a few words you make us feel for and with the characters.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Dear Gabi,

      I could hug you! You absolutely are on the same wavelength. Although I was thinking later in the history of the Deep South. I rather pictured it as taking place somewhere between the 30’s to 50’s when the black man was ‘free’ but sill considered a boy. Definitely another dark place in American history. Thank you for your wonderfully affirming comment.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

      • Squee, a hug from Rochelle! Squeezing you back. I feel knighted (or is that damed?) 😉 I’m not familiar enough with NA history to pick up the nuances, so I thought further back in the past… which probably would have been even more deadly.

        Liked by 1 person

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  • Dear Rosa Klebb W(T)F,

    I remember hearing Walter (Jeff Dunham’s puppet) say this about his wedding, “When my wife repeated the preacher and said, ‘Until death do us part’ I never thought she’d live this long.” It sounds like Nathan has already bought a nice life insurance plan for Lucie and will be cashing it in as soon as the opportunity arises.

    Walter Snarky

    Liked by 1 person

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  • Dear Rochelle,

    Late to the party 😉 But, as you can see… computer’s up and running again. A simple update issue. Sigh.

    K, back to your story. I can so imagine a scene like this taking place in many areas of the 40’s, 50’s South… who are we kidding – still today, in some areas! Nathan is obviously Daddy’s choice, not Lucie’s; and Lucie’s choice would be most difficult for the average family to accept.

    They should make their way up to Canada 😉

    Lotsa love,

    Dale

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • Dear Dale,

      It’s still Wednesday, so you’re not all that late. Glad the computer’s updated and running.
      Because I could see this set anywhere from the 30’s onward, I tagged it as Historical Fiction. However that seemed to confuse some because there weren’t any historical figures. (Read Gabi’s comment. 😉 ) The connection with it being historical is the sleeping porch. Something people built onto their homes before the days of AC, hoping for a cool breeze on hot summer nights. Sigh. You can buy ’em books and they still eat the pictures. 😀

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

      • And in today’s world too: Any home up north, like my mom’s old house… because no screened-in porch = no sitting outside without being eaten alive by the bugs…
        And you’re up late, young lady!!!

        Liked by 1 person

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  • Well done, Rochelle. I was a bit slow on the uptake today and didn’t pick up on the two different names until I read the comments. That’s no reflection on you. It’s actually good that we can check out understanding of these efforts, because it can point out holes both in our writing and our comprehension. I got pulled up on a point today, and it was good to have the opportunity to make the correction. It’s a very helpful process and as always I appreciate your efforts in hosting it for us.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply ↓

    • Dear Rowena,

      You weren’t the only one pulled up on point. I’d originally tagged this piece as historical fiction, which in my mind it is. At any rate I changed it because most have historical fiction confused with biographical fiction. A minor point not worth explaining in ever comment. Then there was the issue for one or two with the word ‘bronze’ not showing clearly enough that Jimmy is black. Another writer suggested ‘ebony.’ That clears it up. I could’ve stuck by my guns and spent the day explaining that, too. It’s nice that we change in midstream, isn’t it? I also changed the recording. Easy peasy. And that’s what this challenge is about, giving and taking concrit. 😉 While I might not always agree with it, I’m open to it. It’s how we grow as writers.
      Hosting Friday Fictioneers is one of the most important things in my life on many levels. Meeting folks from around the globe is one of my favorite things about blogging. Thank you for being a part of it. And thank you for taking the time to leave a comment.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

      • I love being able to meet people from right around the world and get to know them and more about where they live from more of an inside perspective. I also find myself talking about my friend in London, my friend in Arizona with the cacti etc. It’s changed my frame of reference and has been such a lifesaver with my health battles.
        Best wishes,
        Rowena

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply ↓

        • Without going into a lot of detail, Rowena, I can tell you that joining, and then taking the lead for Friday Fictioneers has been one of the best life decisions I’ve ever made. In 2012 I was going through quite an ordeal with work, ie lawsuits and bad management stuff. Applying myself to the weekly challenge of 100 word stories helped keep my mind off the issues. Also at that time I made a few friends, a few who have become closer than those who live in close proximity. Thank goodness for technical miracles such as Skype and Facetime. One or two of these friends I’ve been able to meet in person. Perhaps one day I’ll write a longer story about this amazing thing called social media. ❤

          Shalom,

          Rochelle

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply ↓

          • It sounds like for you, as for me, it’s been a God send. I’m currently in the throws of working on a joint series with a fellow blogger Geoff Le Pard who lives in London and is a wonderful man, although we’ve never met. I bought a 1960s book about London and there was a two page letter outlining a suggested itinerary. I had a go following it on Google earth and emailed it to Geoff who had walked the journey out with his dog and sent me photos. It’s quite an extraordinary journey between 3 people who have never met.
            I tend to think of my blog as alternative media, rather than social media. I think social media is an apt descriptor for Facebook, but not so much for much of the blogs that are out there, aside from the interactive element. There’s an implied implication that social media isn’t as credible or equal to the “real” media, where I feel it is actually more authentic and truly represents freedom of the press. I also put a lot of time and research into my posts and they’re not generated from other people’s press releases either. While I feel my work is not fully appreciated and given the same credence as if I was paid and published even by those closest to me, I hold my head high.
            Best wishes,
            Rowena

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply ↓

  • Dear Rochelle. How delightful that you took the screen and turned it into a sleeping porch. I’ve always wanted one of those. I have a feeling there’s going to be a bad ending to this tale. I read it then reread it, listening to the audio as well. It was then I caught the ebony arms. It made the tale take a turn in my mind. Well done. Cheers, Lish

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    • Dear Lish,

      Kudos to your for catching the sleeping porch. That was my link to history…to a time before AC when sleeping porches were used to catch a cool summer breeze. I’m pleased you listened to the audio. I wasn’t sure anyone did. 😉
      A little backtrack. I originally had “bronze arms” but that seemed to cause a bit of confusion. It was suggested off the grid by Sandra that I might change that to “ebony.” Good call.
      At any rate, thank you for reading, understanding and commenting, my sharp friend.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply ↓

  • This is so gorgeous, so breathless, it leaves the reader gasping. You weave such a complex story in so few words – all the danger and prejudice coming through so clearly even though so much goes unsaid. This really is a masterclass in flash fiction and just such a good read. Wonderful, Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

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  • So much sultriness – the heat of the summer and their love. I like how mother swoons, as again it could be the heat or the shame, or Lucie choosing to follow her heart. Great story with so much left to ponder.

    Liked by 2 people

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