MIRACLE

Published May 18, 2012 by rochellewisoff

What can I write about a rainbow? Here’s my take on the picture for Madison Woods’ Friday Fictioneers.

Merciless rain pelted the Conestoga’s canvas roof. Tildy’s stomach swelled and roiled with each pitch and sway.

Three-year-old Jonas whimpered in her arms. Like periwinkle marbles, his eyes rolled in aimless delirium. She almost welcomed his fevered warmth in the penetrating damp.

The wagon lurched and stopped. Smelling of horses, leather and wet denim Noel slipped through the narrow opening. In silence, his vigilant eyes on his son, he nestled under the blanket beside her.

Tildy woke to hushed sunlight. Her baby was gone.

Outside, naked as dawn, Jonas hopped and pointed at the rainbow. “Ma! Pa! Angels came!”

34 comments on “MIRACLE

  • Dear Rochelle,This was hard to work out and being the first to comment (I think) I don't have the crutch of other's opinions to help me out. When Jonas says the angels have come, was it that they'd come for anyone specific? Or just touched the earth and left their heavenly colored trails as a sign. Did Jonas' fever break? No one died, did they?A lovely story, full of imagination and pathos. i loved the 'Periwinkle marbles'. Great stuff.Aloha,Doughttp://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/no-rain-no-rainbows-3/

    Like

  • So hard to make it clear in 100 words or less. No one died. The miracle was that Jonas' fever broke and like any three year old boy (I've had three of my own) he stripped naked and ran through the open field. As for the angels, I believe young children see them when adults can't. The child knew that the angels came and made him well.

    Like

  • I'm off to Branson and OWL's–I always try to make a weekend of it. Beautiful story–so typical of the hardships of pioneer life. Lovely ending for a sad occasion. Nicely done.I have no post this week–just a thank-you for your past visits and comments on my site.

    Like

  • Wow, that was a change of pace! Totally different little homespun yarn – and pretty happy ending. Actually, a surprise ending – as you built up to the expected conclusion of the sick child – the surprise was the happy ending…So okay, well done, on a difficult prompt.Yours as ever,Laura lindaura

    Like

  • I really loved this Laura Ingalls moment. The descriptions were so all encompassing. I think you did an excellent job of expressing the story in 100 words.Wakefieldhttp://www.wakefieldmahon.com/1/post/2012/05/light-supremacy-friday-fictioneers.html

    Like

  • I had to read through it a few times to get a few things clear on the ending, etc. too, but read your explanations to other commenters. I was trying to figure out the name 'Noel' and getting it figured out who was who in the family, and wondered if a baby actually died there. But, still good imagery and vivid description. I know sometimes it can be hard to get a powerful story packed in a mere 100 words, but sure is good practice, huh? It is for me anyway, who leans the other way with too much sometimes. lol It has been fun, though and reading good stories and poems from others.

    Like

  • This was a wonderfully descriptive and beautiful little story. What I liked best were the last two lines because I love the innocence of the child. As adults we look at a rainbow and sort of know how it's formed and why we see it, but to to a child, it's angels! Thank you for the smile!

    Like

  • Speak to me so I know someone's reading me. (Your comments brighten my day.)

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

    Google photo

    You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

    Connecting to %s

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    Our Literary Journey

    Driveling twaddle by an old flapdoodle.

    Addicted To Living

    learning from one crazy experience to the next.

    saania2806.wordpress.com/

    Philosophy is all about being curious, asking basic questions. And it can be fun!

    Invincible Woman on Wheels

    Conquering the World

    This, that and the other thing

    Looking at life through photography and words

    Kelvin M. Knight

    FLASHES of inspiration. SHORT deliberations. STORIES for all.

    Na'ama Yehuda

    Speech Language Pathologist, Writer, Blogger -- musings, anecdotes, stories, quotes, life lessons and growth

    Diane's Ponderings

    Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

    Jellico's Writing Nook

    A cup of coffee and a quiet morning respite to write

    Penz-o-Paula

    Paula Shablo

    Lost Imperfect Found

    Self-discovery through self-reflection.

    Sarah Potter Writes

    Pursued by the muses of prose, poetry, and art

    Sammi Cox

    Author Aspiring

    Neil MacDonald Author

    A writer's journey

    Autumn Leaves

    For those who enjoy fiction

    Native Heritage Project

    Documenting the Ancestors

    Living In Eternity

    If Eternity Is Forever, Am I There Now?

    Rereading Jane Eyre

    Author Luccia Gray

    zicharonot

    Catskills Memories, Genealogy, travel and commentary

    e.l. dalke: survivor

    a journey of fractures, in my own words

    Creativity for You

    Posts about creativity from Thomas Ward, Professor Emeritus of Psychology, University of Alabama.

    WHAT PEGMAN SAW

    a weekly flash fiction prompt inspired by google maps

    Lori Ericson, Author

    An author's perspective of mystery and more.

    %d bloggers like this: