5 July 2013

Published July 3, 2013 by rochellewisoff

WELCOME TO FRIDAY FICTIONEERS. 

As always, writers are encouraged to be as innovative as possible with the prompt and 100 word constraints. 

Henry David Thoreau said it best.

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”

********

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

THE RULES:

  • Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments.
  • MAKE SURE YOUR LINK IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH FICTION. (Should you find that you’ve made an error you can delete by clicking the little red ‘x’ that should appear under your icon. Then re-enter your URL. (If there’s no red x email me at Runtshell@aol.com. I can delete the wrong link for you).
    •  Make note in your blog if you’d prefer not to have constructive criticism.
    • REMINDER: This page is “FRIDAY FICTIONEERS CENTRAL” and is NOT the place to promote political or religious views. Also, you are responsible for the content of your story and policing comments on your blog. You have the right to delete any you consider offensive.

    **Please exercise DISCRETION when commenting on a story! Be RESPECTFUL.**

    Should someone have severe or hostile differences of opinion with another person it’s my hope that the involved parties would settle their disputes in private.

  • 😉 My story follows the photo and link tool. I enjoy comments and relish constructive criticism. 😀
  • Shalom,

              Rochelle

    • Copyright - David Stewart

      Copyright – David Stewart

      Special thanks to those who have contributed photos. I’m building up quite a library. And on that note, I have a request. Please when emailing your jpgs (some have sent more than four at once) put your name on it somehow. I’m not always the most organized nor do I have the best memory. So far I think all are named and accounted for. Thanks. Don’t stop sending them. 

       

get the InLinkz code

Genre: Literary Fiction

Word Count: 100

IN THE BALANCE

            Cold metal ladder-rungs dug into Melinda’s bare feet. She shivered as icy wind tugged at her robe.

            Like jetsam in a whirlpool, disjointed images swirled through her mind; anniversary flowers delivered in the morning followed by somber uniformed officers in the afternoon bearing unthinkable news. Her husband, Grant, dead—a sniper’s bullet.

            No one left to live for; she stepped onto the roof and studied the rock-strewn ground below. Breath held, she inched toward the edge.

            Suddenly, her unborn child kicked for the first time.

            Melinda shrank back.

            Grant’s voice whispered on the wind, “Take good care of our son.”  

117 comments on “5 July 2013

  • I can’t think of anything worse than getting word a loved one has been killed in such a situation. To see the military car pull up in front of your house. The mind-numbing pain and fear. What a marvellous ending.

    Like

    • Dear Lyn,

      Horrible experience. As soon as you see them, you know why they’ve come. My husband’s brother was killed overseas in 1974. It’s one of those things that remains indelibly etched in my memory.

      Thanks for commenting and I’m glad you liked the ending.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Wonderfully crafted – again! One of the secrets is how many different levels you take your readers…I counted 4 little key extras, culminating in the whispering wind…beautiful, sad, and heartening.

    Like

  • Dear Rochelle,

    The wind whispers to all of us. Trick is to listen close and pay attention. You are one who has stepped back from the edge and your readers are the ones to benefit. I loved ‘In the Balance’ and commend you for finding yours.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    MMLHSD

    Like

  • Hi Rochelle, AnElephantCant see the little boxes to link his story.
    Sorry to be a nuisance, might be the laptop problem.
    Can you add please?

    Anelephantcant.me/2013/07/03/the-ladder-friday-fictioneers/

    Like

    • Dear Elephant,

      I guess I do at that. We are multifaceted beings and I love to read stories that reflect that. So, in turn, I like to read them. Guess you could say I’m character driven…or a driven character. 😉

      Thanks for commenting. Glad you liked it.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Rochelle, I had a mis-start this morning — there was a glitch with my post (at position 18) and so I’ve re-posted (position 20). I wasn’t sure how to edit (or if I even could) so if you could kindly delete position 18 as it is a dead link, I would appreciate it!
    On to read now…

    Like

  • It started out so sad, but ended up being uplifting. Your story makes me wonder how many women through the ages have stood where she stood and felt what she felt. Thought-provoking as per your usual Rochelle. 😀

    Like

    • Dear Linda,

      No doubt, many women have felt this way. I remember when my sister-in-law came back from Turkey without Jerry. Very tough time. If it hadn’t been for their son…who knows?

      Thank you for your comments.

      shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Another heart-breaker from you, Rochelle. I’m certain she will decide to listen, but the road will not be an easy one for her. The first part is beautifully described – I liked the flotsam analogy too, although for a second it put me elsewhere than on a rooftop.

    Like

    • Dear Jen,

      I wanted you to go elsewhere with Melinda. So my mission is accomplished. Her mind is going ninety to nothing at that point and her thoughts are like tattered bits of paper, trying to grasp at a reason to live, yet not wanting to.

      Thanks for your comments. I value them very much. Again, your story was stellar this week. Bravisimo!

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

    • Dear JWD,

      It’s a matter of holding my mouth in just the right position while I type…nah not really. Excuse my warped sense of humor. I don’t take your compliment lightly. Writing is my passion. Thank you

      shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Ah Rochelle,
    I see I’ve entered the world of white knuckles and sighs of relief !
    Loved the unborn child making ts presence known, and the father too…
    Your message that the voices and the love are there for us always is so uplifting

    Like

  • always amazed by your stories. so much story, so much tension and so much emotion packed into a hundred words and still able to fit in great descriptions to set the scene. 🙂

    Like

  • Hi, Rochelle. I loved your intro material. And your story is so very well done. Had me snagged from word number one right through the last one.

    And I really liked your story for the picture with the cat on the table. Powerful — and a true report of many similar lives destroyed.

    Like

    • Dear Sandra,

      Thank you for your comments…on both stories. “Final Declaration” is in the top five of my favorite flash fictions. (Don’t try to say that fast.). Glad you liked them.

      shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • The wind whispered to me also on one of my darkest days. The wind is very wise. Excellent story with a great ending. Have a wonderful 4th!

    Like

  • It’s a good thing her husband was watching from beyond. Her sorrow is understandable, but she bears her dead husband’s pride and joy. A bittersweet tale, very well told.

    Like

  • Busy week between volunteering, traveling, and the holiday. Celebrated my Country’s Birthday as well as my YankeeDoodle Fatherinlaw’s birthday. It’s not fair that he always gets fireworks and awesome music! Anyway, this weeks pic did serve as very inspirational for a scene for my current WIP that I’m writing for NanoCamp this month. It’s way longer than 100 words, but it’s yanked right out of memories from service. Thank you to all my fellow Veterans and Welcome home!

    Like

  • Beautiful story, Niagara. The last line made me think of the Jimi Hendrix song, “The Wind Cries Mary,” or in this case, Melinda.

    Hope you had an enjoyable Independence Day,
    Harlan

    Like

  • Definitely step back! It’s the people who are left behind! Today in Manchester UK I noticed a Memorial Tree which listed the names of all the (Manchester) civilians killed in WW2 (mainly bombing as the Germans targeted all the heavy industry and the docks at the end of the Manchester Ship canal.)

    Like

  • I can see the sniper idea – a good one to spin off of and then the roof for the wife, but I don’t know, I think I would have preferred something else coming to mind to stop her. Like, “Oh gee, I promised to take mom to the seaside next week…”

    Like

  • It’s perhaps the greatest of all mysteries, why we choose to go on living when we know that misery and suffering is certainly a part of what we can look forward to! We all come to stand on that edge one time or another. And there’s always a voice in the wind to pull us back, if we choose to hear it. I like your vocab: wind, whirlpool, swirled. I even saw the anniversary flowers being ripped from their stems and scattering in the wind, a kind of parallel for how she would have experienced the voice carrying the bad news.

    Like

    • Dear Ann,

      Reading your comments is almost as exciting as writing the story. I want to say “great visuals”. I feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that you saw what I wanted you to.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Dear Rochelle,
    Why do we get the feeling there is nothing left to live for when we lose love? Then comes that kick. It brings us back to ourselves and makes us realize that there is so much more for us to be thankful for. Good story and a good lesson too.

    Always,
    Renee

    Like

  • Dear Rochelle
    I was so worried you were going to have her jump, then delighted with your ending. You got lots into this story, painted a beautiful picture.
    Take care
    Dee

    Like

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