WELCOME TO FRIDAY FICTIONEERS.
As always, writers are encouraged to be as innovative as possible with the prompt and 100 word constraints.
Henry David Thoreau said it best.
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
THE RULES:
- Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments.
- MAKE SURE YOUR LINK IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH. (Should you find that you’ve made an error you can delete by clicking the little red ‘x’ that should appear under your icon. Then re-enter your URL. (If there’s no red x email me at Runtshell@aol.com. I can delete the wrong link for you).
- While our name implies “fiction only” it’s perfectly Kosher to write a non-fiction piece as long as it meets the challenge of being a complete story in 100 words.
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- ***PLEASE MAKE NOTE IN YOUR BLOG IF YOU PREFER NOT TO RECEIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.***
- REMINDER: This page is “FRIDAY FICTIONEERS CENTRAL” and is NOT the place to promote political or religious views. Also, you are responsible for the content of your story and policing comments on your blog. You have the right to delete any you consider offensive.
**Please exercise DISCRETION when commenting on a story! Be RESPECTFUL.**
Should someone have severe or hostile differences of opinion with another person it’s my hope that the involved parties would settle their disputes in private.
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My story follows the photo and link tool. I enjoy honest comments and welcome constructive criticism. 
- Shalom,
Rochelle
Genre: Historical Fiction
Word Count: 100
FAT MAN
“Ichiro is honorable,” said Okasan. “He’ll be a faithful husband.”
“He’s too fat and reeks of fish.”
“Instead you’d rather shame your family and become a prostitute?”
“Geisha. They are artists.”
“So your father says.”
Since dawn Yuki had tried to reason with her mother, but, no matter what she said, Okasan’s face remained an obdurate fortress, damaged by years of sorrow and betrayal.
“It’s after 11:00. I’ll be late.”
“Please, my only child, don’t leave your home.”
Yuki turned her gaze to the calming garden pond.
“Nagasaki’s no longer my—”
Savage-radiance seared brilliant koi colors into her eyes.
.
.
.
August 9, 1945
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
Phew! Rochelle !!!
That was a killer literally , ..very clever, and you really caught the Japanese atmosphere and cultural nuances ( I have a Japanophile husband, and haven’t been able to avoid learning something about the culture! You are obviously much more up with the play than me…)
A perfect little bombshell of a story – a tragic moment of history caught in time. Very subtle, including the play on the atomic flight and name… it was so grotesque wasn’t it !!
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Dear Valerie,
Although I find it fascinating, and could be a Japanophile myself, I really don’t know much about Japanese culture. I’m fortunate in having a friend/muse who’s also a most generous instructor with his appreciative student.
On a favorite TV show a shallow character said, “War is hell.”
Another replied with, “War is worse than hell. In hell there are no innocent bystanders.”
Even in my most gruesome writings, I can’t begin to imagine the horrors some have lived through.
That you caught the nuances and commented makes my heart sing. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wow!This is the first time I am here though I have heard about FF from a number of other like minded writers.Had some spare time and am so happy to have decided to drop by today-if not for anything but to have had the opportunity to read such a beautiful story in just 100 words!Loved how it started with a simple dialogue which increased in intensity and then the calming Koi pond and one is expecting a Zen kind of end when POW!!Fat man indeed- N-Bombastic!! I salute you Rochelle!
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Dear ATRM,
Welcome! I’m happy that you dropped by and liked what you saw. Thank you so much for your “explosive” comments. I return the salute.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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:-)Thank you Rochelle-am hoping that I will be able to contribute my two bits but am quite raw,so writing at the drop of a hat is still a distant dream for me-so am waiting for an idea to take seed,ha!ha!
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AnElephant loves Rochelle’s cheery wee starts to a Wednesday!
Great stuff.
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Dear Elephant,
I’m nothing if not cheery 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nothing like two bombshells at once to make one’s day.
A searing contrast the peaceful koi pond and the blasting light
Another well done history flash
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Dear Leslie,
Thank you for such lovely comments.
shalom,
Rochelle
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dear Rochelle,
as always an extraordinary story! The snapshot into the life of two women in a historical moment . great. I always love your stories.
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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Dear Carmen,
Your comment has me smiling. This one was a learning experience for me in more ways than one. I’m happy my experiment in writing worked.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wow. Just wow.
Jim
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Just thank you. 😀
shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
That is the effect of your story on the reader can be likened to the word coined by survivors of that day to describe the experience of the moment of detonation. Pika Don.
From your subtly layered title to searing conclusion, Fat Man is a textbook example of ‘Flash’ fiction. This one will be hard to beat.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
Mahalo from the bottom of my heart. Comments from an author of your caliber are hard to beat. IHN
Shalom,
Rochelle
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No story from me this week as other than today, I’ll be either traveling or in Philly the entire week with no time to read other stories. I don’t like to ask people to read mine if I can’t read theirs. However, I love this prompt and thought I’d stop by to say good morning to everyone, and that I’ll miss all of you this week as well as read your story while I’m here. I’m so glad I did! This one may be one of your best.
janet
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Dear Janet,
Safe travels. Thanks for taking time to read and comment. It means a lot.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Well on the bright side the mother doesn’t have to worry about her daughter becoming a Geisha anymore. At least there’s that right?
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Dear Adam,
Yes, there is that. Bright side? Thanks for commenting.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Maybe bright side isn’t the correct wording, but you got my meaning.
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Actually I caught and enjoyed the irony in your comment. 😉
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Oh my, I was literally ‘blown away’ 🙂
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Dear Helen,
In this case, it’s nice to hear. Thank you.
shalom,
Rochelle
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That’s a great story of just how all the everyday problems and difficulties disappeared in one horrendous second. I visited Nagasaki about 10 years ago and it was quite sobering to see the bomb site and imagine what it would have been like. Absolutely perfect title too.
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Dear David,
Even as I write about it, I can’t begin to imagine. At least in the case of my characters, there was no time for suffering. Not at all a proud moment of American history IMHO.
I’m pleased you liked my story and caught the nuance of the title.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh! That is a harsh ending… how many such lives are lost with the dreams, experiences and struggles, because of the political wars. A drastic read and a very well-written piece.
-HA
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Dear Anmol,
Life is an eye blink at best. If only we could send politicians to battle and avoid killing innocents in the crossfire.
In any case, thank you for your kind compliments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Brings to mind the feeding frenzy at the Koi pond at the conservatory back home. Have to give a few minutes, but it’s doable!
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Dear Rochelle,
Your story left a lump in my throat and my heart broken. The positive thing about it though was the young woman made the decision to leave her family home. To live her life on her terms, no matter how short that life was.
I have no idea the story I’ll come up with. May this blonde brain of mine brew something up soon.
Love, Renee
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Dear Renee,
Pity Yuki didn’t get any farther than the doorway. But I did see her as a strong woman who refused to follow her mother’s subservient path.
Thank you for your kind comments. Hope you’re on the mend.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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My dear I’m still trying to get better. This bronchitis is horrible. The antibiotics have kicked in but I’m still exhausted. Pray for me my friend. Giggle.
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That’s an excellent story, Rochelle. I was going to say an explosive story 😉
Your link to Douglas doesn’t work.
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Dear Al,
Glad you like it. I think I fixed the link. Albeit, a little late in the week. But everyone should be able to link to Doug’s most excellent story on the Linkz list.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’ll do that now, thanks Rochelle
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WoW…………JUST WOW…..unbelievable Rochelle. As well as ALL the other ingredients this story has that ‘brilliant haiku moment’, but there’s a play on THAT obviously as well. If this can be bettered I’ll eat my hat collection.
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Dear Managua,
Seldom have I received such a compliment. A humble thank you, sir.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That may well have happened, Rochelle.
Shalom 🙂
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Dear YS,
There’s no question in my mind that it could have. People were going about their normal morning routines when the end came in a flash. Makes one pause. And thank you for pausing to comment.
Salaam,
Rochelle
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True,
Shalom 🙂
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A great reminder not to sweat the small stuff, Rochelle. I love how much character you managed to give all 4 of the characters in just 100 words. Good stuff!
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Dear Jennifer,
Being human, we’re going to sweat the small stuff anyway, aren’t we? Glad you liked my story. Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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All I can say is what a story!!!!
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And all I can say is thank you, Ed.
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Wow. That was amazing. That last line was just killer, literally. Love how you always weave a bit of history into these stories.
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Dear Miss Tiffany,
If history teaches us anything, it’s that we’ve learned nothing. Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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How true that is, Rochelle.
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blown away by your story! it is a heartbreaking story within a heartbreaking story. my heart really broke for her 😦
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Dear KZ,
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Clever history as always, Rochelle. Fat Man was the name of the bomb dropped on Nagasaki. I love the way your stories teach. I wonder how many mothers of Geishas had this conversation. I can clearly see Okasan’s face as an “obdurate fortress.” Great description!
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Dear E. A.
Glad you caught the reason for the title. From what I’ve read about Japan at the time, a Geisha was often the widely accepted “other woman”.
Thank you for commenting with such kind words.
shalom,
Rochelle
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This is a splendid tale. As a girl I went on a field trip at the UN were they display a wall which holds the shadow of an evaporated person. It left an impression with me. Your story has done the same. How quickly life can change. Thank you for the reminder. This is one of my all time favorite FF.
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Dear Dana,
Compliments like yours leave me speechless. Thank you.
shalom,
Rochelle
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How many stories such as this will never be told? Regular people trying to live regular lives, caught in a dispute which is not their own.
Thanks.
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As Hawkeye said on one MASH episode, “War is worse than hell. In hell there are no innocent bystanders.” This is one of histories greatest and most unnecessary tragedies. Thanks for commenting, JK.
shalom,
Rochelle
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There must have been many such scenes playing out at that particular moment. Culturally replicated, very well done Rochelle.
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Dear Sandra,
A day that started out like any other. Lives cut short or forever changed. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I have been referred to as Fat Man a few times, and some have threatened to fly me over major sporting events with Goodyear written on my sides.
Once again you zeroed in on the target with pin-point precision and blew us away with outstanding writing. Now, if I can just get this fish smell washed off . . . .
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Dear Roy,
You really need to stop taking things so personally. Although the image of you floating above the crowd with Goodyear on your sides is an intriguing, if not amusing one. .
Thanks for your comments and compliments.
shalom,
Bubbles
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Oh my! This is stunning, Rochelle. As I read, I momentarily sensed this coming, and then was lulled by the wonderful dialogue and scene. That final line: “Savage-radiance seared brilliant koi colors into her eyes.” shocked me back into the moment. Truly great writing here!
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Dear Dawn,
How do I reply to such a comment? I’m glad you went where I wanted you to go. Mission accomplished. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It was truly one of my favorites this week. I’ve re-read it twice, and each time it still packs an evocative punch! Shalom.
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Clean and simple to Atomic blast in 100 words. Only you can do that Rochelle. The ending was such a powerful visual.
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Dear Linda,
I’ll keep my reply clean and simple. Arigato Gozaimasu.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Incredible story, Rochelle. Starts out as a day in the life, one rife with suggestions on the life before the day. But then, in your poetically described last sentence, everything changes. You have a talent for fitting normal lives into many different scenes of history. Another great story.
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Dear Dave,
I’m happy you understood and liked my story. It’s difficult to fathom the devastation when I think that these were ordinary people going about their lives. There are no words to describe it. Pika don.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful!
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Thank you, Elizabeth.
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Another amazing historical story. As soon as I saw the sentence starting “Nagasaki” I thought “uh oh”. A reminder that people were getting on with their everyday lives just before the bomb dropped.
Great word, “obdurate”. I shall have to try to pop it in a story somewhere!
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Dear Draliman,
I’m happy to have extended your vocabulary. Have we learned anything from history? I wonder.
Thank you for your comments and compliments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It’s the effect that a name like Nagasaki can have.. and remembering that they felt safe in Nagasaki.. after all it had been spared… shudder…
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Dear Björn,
The name is seared into our minds, isn’t it? Thanks for dropping by.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I had the honour of unofficially guiding a Japanese gentleman around Anne Frank’s house 20 years ago – a man who lost all of his family in Hiroshima, when he was a little boy. Everyday lives can just end – we seem to forget that…
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Dear Freya,
Two horrific tragedies. that must’ve been quite an experience for you. Thank you for sharing that with me.
shalom,
Rochelle
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It was – I felt such a responsibility and was utterly overawed by all that he had experienced in his life. I was in my early 20s, so knew absolutely nothing about what it means to live a life…. He was a lovely man.
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very powerful writing Rochelle. The use of the koi as description in the last line took my breath away. Just one of so very many lives and stories that came to an end that day.
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Dear RG,
It does make you stop, think and wonder if this day will be the last, doesn’t it? Thank you for your kind words.
shalom,
Rochelle
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What a beautifully written but sad story. It was quite moving. Thank you so much for sharing. It reminded me of when I visited Trinity Site in New Mexico, ground zero of the first atomic bomb explosion at what’s now White Sands Missile Range. It was unbelievable that just a few short weeks later that same horror would be unleashed on Japan. There are still low levels of radiation at Trinity Site even now, and in Nagasaki, I would imagine. It’s frightening.
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Dear Lisa,
The same day you commented another friend who lives in NM mentioned the Trinity Site. Perhaps one day I’ll get out that way. I find it amazing and appalling that brilliant minds are used to come up with new and better ways to destroy.
Thank you for commenting. Glad you liked my story.
shalom,
Rochelle
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“He’s too fat and reeks of fish.” is my favorite line.
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😉
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Very poignant. The young woman had limited choices, as so many women did in that era. But at least she had a life to live, a life of possibilities.
Thank you for illuminating history once again.
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Dear Jan,
So many bright futures literally melted that day. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wow, didn’t expect that! Sure made Ichiro seem like a desirable fate by comparison. Another interesting character study with an unexpected twist at the end; no wonder you are the master!
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Dear Perry,
Your comment makes me smile. Glad to have been able to catch you off guard. Shrinking my swelled head and moving on after humbly saying “Thank you.”
shalom,
Rochelle
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Beautifully wrought tale. And you did catch the nuances of the Japanese writing style so well. Plus, you included a horrific history lesson. I too was inspired to write a Japanese tale when I saw this gorgeous photo, but I have not, now that I have read yours. I do not think I could capture the detail as you did.
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Dear Lindaura,
I’ve watched and read Memoirs of a Geisha more times than I can count. I’ve always had a fascination with Asian culture and this photo just lent itself to it. Thank you for your lovely words.
BTW. We did fall back so now instead of waking at 2:30 in the blessed a.m. my eyes are popping open at 1:30. Early rising has been my habit for the past three years. It gives me extra writing time without interruptions before venturing forth to the florescent jungle.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Certainly is ‘flash’ fiction. But seriously, I like the contrast in this piece: the family argument (which is by no means trivial) becomes a mundane fact in the light of what happens at the end of the story. It humanises the event. Nice work.
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Dear Mike,
Thank you for your insightful comments. It’s amazing how trivial “important” things can become in the face of catastrophe, isn’t it?
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hi Rochelle,
Wow! This is a powerful and beautifully written story with all the richness imbued by setting it in this place at this time.
Karen
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Dear Karen,
Many thanks for your lovely compliments. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh my breath-taking! What an ending, beautifully written the story took me straight to the end without nary a hint to what was coming. Well done indeed!
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Dear Georgia,
Happy to oblige and take you where I wanted you to go. Thank you for your lovely comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Mission accomplished! Peace Georgia!
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Hi Rochelle,
On this day when the horror is all fake, you raised a very real and somber ghost from our history. What most Americans don’t know is that dropping the atomic bombs on Japan was totally unnecessary. They were within weeks of surrender anyway. And the myth that we’ve been taught, that dropping the bombs forced them to give up, that’s also false. The Japanese surrendered because the Soviets invaded Manchuria and would soon have been in Japan. But I’m digressing big time. Skillful storytelling, with a huge twist at the end and that closing line is poetic. ron
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Dear Ron,
Unfortunate and shameful piece of American history. I did know this and I ache as much for the innocent victims as much as I mourn for my own ancestors who survived the concentration camps. Thank you for your digression. Every American should know.
Thank you for you kind compliments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A rich story in a brief dialogue!
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Many thanks, Stephen.
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What an ending – boom! Takes the breath away…
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Thank you, Steve. Always nice to hear. 😉
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Wow. I love your vignettes — it’s your style — to set “real people” into these historical settings — you bring humanity to something that often seems abstract by virtue of being so far in the past.
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Dear Helena,
I was never fond of history in school. Why should I care? It happened so long ago and has nothing to do with me? Right? How wrong. As I’ve grown older (chronologically) much of my past has become “history” and it’s somehow made me realize that all history is someone’s past reality.
Thank you for your lovely comments that have me smiling all over.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Sympathetic depiction of the mother-daughter relationship and the daughter’s prospects. Then the dynamic ending, an unexpected emotional reminder of the horrors of war for the everyday population. Well done, as always, Rochelle.
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Dear VB,
It’s the everyday people, going about their lives, who are the most tragic victims. Thank you for your insightful comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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another memoirs of a geisha in the making. awesome…
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Dear Paridel,
The abridged version. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Looking at the other entries, all interesting. It was a good picture!
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Kudos to Doug for the picture. It’s so beautiful I just had to use it. 😉
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Intense turmoil beneath the glassy, calm surface. Nice…
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Dear Millie,
Glad you liked it and caught the nuance.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Bravo, a lovely written piece that captures the culture!! Nicely done 😀
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Dear Vittorria,
So happy you liked it. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful! Well done!
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A devastating tale. And an extraordinary leap from the picture to the story! You are definitely someone who thinks outside the box!
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Dear EL,
Box? What box? It was a devastating part of 20th century history. We talk about barbarism as something that happened in ancient times, but I can’t think of a more barbaric act. Thank you coming by and commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh, my. Once again everything in your fiction rings true. This is darkly beautiful.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/lure-of-the-nishikigoi/
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Dear Maggie,
Glad my fiction rang true for you. The thought of what really happened makes me shudder and weep.
Thank you for commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Talk about your explosive endings! Whew. Wonderful Rochelle. From the calm Koi to the terrible time in history. You done nailed it!
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Dear Jackie,
The only reply that comes to mind is, “Thank you.”
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I love the way you intricately weaved the pond into your story. Then, you last line stunned! It’s such a beautiful line even with the “savage” element! Wonderful piece, Rochelle.
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Dear Amy,
I’m pleased that you caught the “savage” part. Hard to describe such a travesty. Thank you for stopping by and commenting. It means a lot.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh my, your character development here is superb! To manage to make all three of these people seem so real — plus tell the action of the story — in just 100 words is amazing work. And that line “Okasan’s face remained an obdurate fortress, damaged by years of sorrow and betrayal” tells another whole story — a whole lifetime — all by itself. Work like this makes me wonder sometimes why we work so long and hard to write thousands of words in order to tell a story when it really can be told in just 100 when it’s the right 100.
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Dear Sandra,
Your wonderful comments have me blushing and saying, “Oh my.” Sometimes I think about writing some of these flash fictions into longer works and wonder what more I can say. To say I’m pleased you liked it is an understatement.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Looks even better in print than when you read it to me over the phone. Guess because I’m a visual kind of a guy. 😉 Drinks all around, good job.
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Todah and L’chaim…Chaim.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ver a ka welcome.
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Dear Rochelle
There you go again – great research, great story. I love the way you brought it all together.
Take care
Dee
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Dear Dee,
I just can’t resist history. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You have a surprise ending.
I’m sure it’s just like that. One second your making plans and the next … nothing.
May our lives continue for a long time and may we appreciate every second of it.
Blessings,
Phyllis
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Dear Phyllis,
Although my story is fiction, it’s a fact that people were simply going about their everyday lives that day. Many hoping and praying their sons and husbands would return from war. I’ve heard that we should live every day as if it were our last. I confess I don’t.
Thanks for swinging by with your comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Neither do I. Don’t really know how.
I do the best I can.
Somethings I get it right, sometimes I don’t.
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Oh. Oh no. I am forever skipping titles to get right to the story. Maybe if I hadn’t, I would have seen where this was going, and my heart would have been prepared for the sickening lurch provoked by the ending. I did not get to visit Nagasaki when I lived in Japan, but I did spend a sobering day in Hiroshima. So many lives destroyed in a flash–what I saw and read in the museum will forever haunt me. I hope history never repeats itself.
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Dear Michelle,
A dear friend told me that a good title adds 100 words to the story. I’ve never doubted his wisdom in this.
I’m sure that a visit to Nagasaki would’ve been as sobering. Although I’ve never been to Japan, I’ve read accounts and have seen the haunting pictures.
As for history, although we hope for better, it seems what we learn from it is usually nothing.
Comments such as yours encourage me to keep writing. Thank you for coming by.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nice read.
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Thank you, Kalpana.
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Lest we forget. Great reminder.
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Dear Patrick,
I hope we never forget, but fear we have. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It’s a harsh moment in history told with a brilliant viewpoint. While all of us would sooner forget, it’s better to remember the horror, so that it’s not repeated.
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Dear Cherry,
A horrible moment in history. I”m pleased to have been able to send out a reminder in some small way. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers and thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Devastating. I like how you set simple situations against complex backdrops like this. It’s incredibly moving.
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Dear H. K,
I humbly thank you.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh my goodness. A well-told tale, cut tragically short. Good work.
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