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- WELCOME TO FRIDAY FICTIONEERS.
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As always, writers are encouraged to be as innovative as possible with the prompt and 100 word constraints.
Henry David Thoreau said it best.
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
THE RULES:
- Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments. MAKE SURE YOUR LINK IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH.
- InLinkz has seen fit to change the format of the link box and automatically pastes the story title into the second box. IT WOULD BE HELPFUL IF YOU WOULD DELETE IT AND TYPE IN YOUR NAME SO THE REST OF US KNOW WHO THE AUTHOR IS. Thank you.
- While our name implies “fiction only” it’s perfectly Kosher to write a non-fiction piece as long as it meets the challenge of being a complete story in 100 words.
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- ***PLEASE MAKE NOTE IN YOUR BLOG IF YOU PREFER NOT TO RECEIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.***
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**Please exercise DISCRETION when commenting on a story! Be RESPECTFUL.**
Should someone have severe or hostile differences of opinion with another person it’s my hope that the involved parties would settle their disputes in private.
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My story follows the photo and link tool. I enjoy honest comments and welcome constructive criticism.
- Shalom,
Rochelle
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Copyright-Al Forbes
Genre: Literary Fiction
Word Count: 97
MERCURY RISES
Of all the gods, Hermes, the messenger sent from Heaven to visit Earth, fascinated me the most. My adoration took wing the moment we met. How had I, a mere mortal, been so fortunate?
We played hide-and-seek in the sunlight and danced when there wasn’t any music. Once he spirited away my favorite necklace and hid it. I seethed until he returned it, twined around the stems of a fragrant bouquet.
Nyx casts her shadow across our efflorescent valley.
From his IV jungle of tubes and catheters, my Hermes whispers with a breathless rasp, “Mom, it’s time.”
Rochelle,
it’s funny but I was about to call my story Mercury Rising. I’m glad now that I went in a different direction. I love the intertwining of real life and mythology in this, plus all the subtle little details, like “my adoration took wing” and the mention of Nyx. Beautiful, beautiful work.
-David
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Dear David,
You turn my plaster head. 😉 Thank you.
I really enjoyed the direction you took, but then, I’ve never read a bad story from you.
shalom,
Rochelle
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I am not sure I can handle the sadness when your tales are so tender! Am I the only one!!? Really a story that touches the gut carefully, slowly, turning everything over a few times…dear me..dear me.
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Dear Managua,
I hate to smile at your sadness but I can’t help myself. This was a bit of a departure for me and I’m happy that it seems to have worked. Thank you for your kind comments and compliments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Such a brilliant and moving story. Thanks for using this photos. It’s one of my favourites.
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Dear Al,
Thank you and thank you for the loan of the picture. It’s set a lot of imaginations into action this week.
shalom,
Rochelle
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It certainly did. I have enjoyed the variation of stories I didn’t realise how much traffic it would bring to my blog as well. Thank you for that.
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Happy to help. 😉
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🙂
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Once again you have taken us from joy to sorrow. This work of art has touched me to the deep. ..
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Dear Patricia,
It’s a high compliment to have my story called a work of art. Life is about joy and sorrow, isn’t it? You can’t seem to have one without the other. Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very moving, as always. And a bit of education to go with it. Well done Rochelle.
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Dear Sandra,
Thank you. I’m glad you liked it. I tried not include any ?’s. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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🙂 You may not have done so Rochelle, but I see they are out in force again this week?
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Superb.
Beautifully crafted, leading us blindly into the pain.
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Dear Elephant,
I do what I can. 😉 Thanks for following me there and leaving kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Evil…this pic just reeks evil– Orwellian evil….hmmm, gonna have to stew a little over this one. Good time to go in and stir the apple butter on the stove. Right now, it looks like a witch’s pot of goo. I’ll get back with a story today!
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Dear Rochelle,
wonderful story and wonderful pictures – even if it´s sad.
Liebe Grüße
Carmen
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Dear Carmen,
Thank you for your sweet words. Glad you liked my sad story.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh dear, but the linky isn’t working for me today. I’ll keep trying, but just in case: http://walkertoennien.wordpress.com/2013/11/06/friday-fictioneers-never-to-die/
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Rochelle,
Don’t know what the problem was, but glad it seems to have worked out. New links format…they must still be working out the bugs. Glad you made it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I love the mix of myth and reality, Rochelle. The subtle mention of Nyx (a lesser known goddess) was nice too. Your stories often to seem to have a bittersweet ending…they tug at my heartstrings.
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Dear Tiffany,
Happy to have tugged at your heartstrings again. 😉 I learned a bit of mythology myself this week. Nyx was the perfect fit. Thank you for dropping by with your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You’re welcome! That’s even better, I love learning knew things as I write!
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More than bittersweet this one, Rochelle. Just terribly sad. For all the delight experienced the ending drowns everything in sadness. Beautiful and mysterious.
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Dear Lindaura,
And life is often like that, isn’t it? So we look for the beauty in the sadness and learn to accept. Yes? Thank you for dropping by. Perhaps I’ll write something more cheerful next week. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Lyrical tale with a sad, realistic ending–well done, as usual, Rochelle.
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Dear VB,
I humbly say, “Thank you.” 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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i brace myself before reading your stories. they always have a powerful emotional effect and this beautifully crafted tale is no different.
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Dear KZ,
Saw more about the storms your direction. Hope you’re still safe. I’d hate to see you washed away since you give the nicest compliments. 😉
Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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lol thank you. im ok. storm just left. 🙂
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Very touching and hauntingly beautiful.
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Thank you, MT. 😀
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Dear Rochelle,
I can see her daydreaming about running with her young son, delighting in his youth and innocence. Only to be thrust back to reality with the incessant bleeping of a heart monitor and an array of other medical equipment. We feel for this woman because we are mothers. How devastating to lose a child. Not only to death, but the ravages of illness and injury beforehand.
Love, Renee
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Dear Renee,
You have obviously crawled inside my head. 😉 Yes, we are mothers. I have three sons and can’t imagine the agony of losing one.
Thank you for coming by with such insightful comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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🙂
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Yet again I’m reaching for a hankie, beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time 🙂
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Dear Helen,
Your comments make me smile. Thank you. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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What a heartbreaker, Rochelle. You have captured the curious love affair between mother and child beautifully, and left us gasping at the end.
(Mine’s up but the linky thing isn’t working right now, so I’ll try again with linkng it later)
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Dear Jen,
Sorry the link has been such a pain this week. They must still be working out the bugs. (And I pay for this?)
The joy of holding that little one for the first time doesn’t diminish over time. You summed up my intent eloquently and made me smile. Thank you.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Don’t worry about the link. I certainly wasn’t blaming you.
Talking of little ones, I think mine is just waking up. I hear the tinkling of a butterfly rattle!
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Mythical…but not. Loved the story within a story.
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Dear Millie,
Glad you caught my intent. Thank you.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Interesting story, Rochelle. I had to read it a few times. Lovely, in a sense, but so sad, the voice of the Mother.
I had to Google ‘Nyx’, although I was sure of her purpose. I got a video game character called Nyx the Assassin. Then the stock exchange. Finally, I got the Greek Protogenos of night. And yes, once again I learned something from one of your stories. Seems a weekly occurrence… Thanks! I’ll see what I can do with this one.
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Dear Ted,
You can’t pay me a higher compliment. Glad to help further your education.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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So sad, yet so beautiful. Your stories always touch the heart. Love what you did with this.
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Dear E. A.
Thank you for your kind words. This was a bit of a departure for me, an experiment, if you will. Glad it worked.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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sorry Linky is not liking me. My title loaded up on the link (ughh)
Rochelle, a beautiful intermingling of fantasy and reality. I think the imagination aids to lessen pain. I never got “used” to losing a patient as a peds nurse – each child is like family!
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That has to be one of the hardest nursing jobs. Thanks for being there for them.
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Dear Leslie,
As a mime artist, I was once hired to perform for a children’s oncology unit. It’s one of the most wonderfully heartbreaking things I’ve ever done. Kudos to you. It takes a special person to be a peds nurse. You have won my undying gratitude and admiration.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You tell the saddest, most beautiful stories, darling.
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Dear Helena,
You give the sweetest compliments.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Ah this was so sad. So sad! But I loved the play in the beginning. Hermes! Oh I’ll never think about him the same again. What a great Greek god you made him out to be! I just love him.
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Dear Linda,
I’ll admit that I had a great time writing this one. I learned some mythology in the process. 😉 Glad you liked it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The ending is heartbreaking, but beautifully crafted.
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Dear Steve,
Thank you for dropping by and commenting. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That is so sad. I love how the title closely reflects the story. Beautiful work, Rochelle.
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Dear Mike,
I’m happy you caught the title’s significance. A good friend of mine told me that the right title can add another 100 words to a story. I’m a firm believer in this. Thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Such a tender mixing of myth and reality, in a piece of well crafted fiction. “My adoration took wing the moment we met;” isn’t that so very true of motherhood! Really well done, and deeply moving.
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Dear Dawn,
Nearly forty (that many?) years can’t dim the memory of holding my son for the first time. It was the same with the next two. Such miracles.
Thank you for your kind words.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Indeed! Those moments are seared on my heart… and so many more, with my children. Their births, however, are truly sacred. You are welcome.
Shalom, Dawn
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Dear Dawn,
Nearly forty (that many?) years hasn’t dimmed the awe of holding my newborn son for the first time. And it was the same sense with his younger brothers. Such miracles.
Thank you for your kind comments, they mean a lot and encourage me to keep writing.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Awww. Poignant. You caught the relationship in all its poetic reality (if there is such a thing). Sweet.
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Dear Cousin Kent,
I believe there is poetic reality as there is poetic justice. Thanks for swinging by with your comments. Makes me happy.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle I love the mix of mythology and fiction. You story took me deep into melancholy. It was beautifully poignant and deeply moving.
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Dear Dana,
I hope you didn’t stay too long in deep melancholia. I’d feel responsible. 😉 It’s always nice to read that I’ve taken aim and hit the target. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Not too long. Just long enough to feel the impact. 😉
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You do this so well.
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Thank you, Dawn. Sweet of you to say so.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Heartbreaking, but so beautifully told.
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A simple and humble thank you, Jan.
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What a beautiful tapestry of life’s ups and downs!I admire the way you transport the reader into different time periods and the transition back to the present is so smooth,that there is hardly a bump!Excellent portrayal of a young,mischievous and restless spirit of Hermes in a young child and the sudden heart-breaking end!Amazing piece Rochelle-you really are an inspiration:-)
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Dear Atreyee,
You humble me with your stunning comments and make me smile. Thank you very much.
shalom,
Rochelle
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You deserve all those and more,Rochelle and I really mean it 🙂
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There is no doubt about it, Rochelle: You are the expert when it comes to embarking your reader on what he thinks is one kind of journey and then landing him at a destination he could never have expected. Even though I know you are so good at this and just might do it to us again, I’m still never adequately prepared for the punch. This is so powerful I’m still rocking from the impact of it as I write this.
And the language and imagery are beautiful.
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Dear Sandra,
I’m reeling from the impact of your comment. I’m working on shrinking my head as I type. 😉
I’m guessing as an English teacher of a certain age that you’re familiar with O. Henry. He remains on the A list of my favorite authors. His endings always take one by surprise with savoir faire.
Thank you for sailing by and leaving my smiles in your wake.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yes, I’ve been a fan of O. Henry for many years. And I certainly see a resemblance to his style in some of your work. Also you’ve done a piece or two that made me thing of Edgar Allen Poe. ( I think I mentioned it to you at one time.) It’s quite apparent that your muse hangs out in elevated company!
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Dear Rochelle,
Each time I pass this way and read, tears flow at the last line. So hauntingly beautiful and achingly sad.
Aloha,
Doug
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Dear Doug,
It pleases me that you’ve passed this way more than once and your tears are the ultimate compliment.
Mahalo nui loa,
Shalom,
Rochelle SD
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Beautifully written with a touch of sadness and sorrow. I have to echo Sandra Conner’s comment. Even though I expect the punch might be coming, I’m never fully prepared.
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Dear Russell,
Nice to be able to catch a writer such as yourself off guard. Mission accomplished. Can’t wait to see you. I’m still looking for my pom poms.
Shalom
Mad Dog
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A really moving piece, without the melodrama, which is much more effective.
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Dear Freya,
Thank you for your affirming comments. Glad you liked my story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hi Rochelle,
“Whom the Gods will destroy, they first make crazy.” Totally unexpected twist at the end, and a reminder of the mortality of all of us. Ron
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Dear Ron,
This has been my week for being faced with my own mortality. Thank you for commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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a beautiful, poignant story.
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Thank you, Plaridel.
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Very deftly handled and so effortlessly flowing from metaphor to sad reality. Terrific job.
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Dear Perry,
It’s a tall order to make a humorist sad. Although, not really, since humor is often the offshoot of sadness. Thank you for your kind compliments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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From joy to sadness in a trice.
Once again you have introduced me to a new word – “efflorescent”. My lack of vocabulary knows no bounds!
Lovely story.
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Dear Draliman,
Happy to pass on a new word. 😉 Thank you for swinging by with your kind comments. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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How sad…and how did Hermes, the immortal, get so entangled with mortality?
(And also – there must be something about that photo that nudges us toward Greek myths 😉 )
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Dear Sharon,
Don’t mothers all see their sons as gods? (Jewish mothers certainly do.;)
I think it’s the winged hat on the head that nudges us to mythology. Glad you dropped into comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Good points, though in my case I think it was the startled expression on the stone face that got my story started – wouldn’t you be surprised if you met Medusa?
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Hi Rochelle,
Such a beautifully sad story. There are so many vivid images. I particularly love “My adoration took wing…” and the “IV jungle of tubes…”
Beautiful writing,
Karen
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Dear Karen,
Many thanks for your beautiful comments. You leave me smiling.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I like this. You are indeed a master story teller.
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Dear Phyllis,
How very kind of you. Glad you liked.
shalom,
Rochelle
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:0)
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This is a beautiful story, and I don’t I’ve read anything quite so lovely as the necklace memory in a long time.
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Dear Cherry,
Thank you for your kind comments. What mother hasn’t been upset with a child for a possession and playing with it? A natural rite of passage I think. Then, later we realize it was only a thing. Glad you liked.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh Rochelle, such a beautiful layering of myth and meaning… and then the disbelief at the end as the truth dawned. Your last line was brilliant and poignant… actually too poignant to discuss in terms of art, only in terms of the wrench of pain at the realisation of where you had taken us….
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Dear Valerie,
That you took the time to read my story is no small thing. That you liked it and paid such high compliments delights me.
This was a bit of a departure for me as I’m finding my way as a writer. I’m pleased that it worked.
Your comments are music to my eyes and trophies for my heart.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, I didn’t expect the sad ending, but it was so poignant. Even in its sadness, I find it really beautiful. His mom treasured the moments they could share.
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Dear Amy,
If only we can remember to treasure every moment. I’m pleased you liked my story.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Nicely woven tale, one can clearly envision this relationship.
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Dear Patti,
Thank you. Glad you could envision it as I did.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
Well,thank goodness the Kleenex were handy!
A beautiful,hauntingly poignant tale that will, I’m sure, stay with me for a long time.
I have come to expect a journey into history with your stories, but this time you were right when you said it was something a bit different for you.
As always a joy to read.
Take care
Dee
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Dear Dee,
Maybe next time I’ll write a happier ending.
Glad my departure worked. As always the research part of the write made it a richer experience for me.
Thank you,
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Delightful and sweet and so sad. Well done.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/sentinel/
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Thank you, Maggie. Nice of you to say so.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, just flitting in to say I really enjoyed the departure from your usual historical fiction. The photo begs for a mythical story but you tied it deftly into the present as well while still including your trademark edge of sadness.
janet
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Dear Janet,
Thanks for taking some time from your FF hiatus to comment on my story. 😉
I did have to do some research in the mythological realm, but I couldn’t quite let my feet leave the ground. Trademark edge of sadness? I rather like that.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Stunning. So many layers of emotions expressed in such a short format.
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Dear Subroto,
Again, I extend my welcome to Friday Fictioneers and, also, my sincere thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very touching story Rochelle.
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Thank you, Kim.
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Ah, so sad.
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I do my best. Thank you.
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When I wrote my story, the linky took away my photo I have always used, put any new one in sideways and said others taken with the same camera were took big-i had to pick something random, Why is it when sites make “improvements” it is always worse than before?
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Dear Brenda,
And I pay to keep this link tool going. Oy. I agree. They made the changes without consulting me. 😉 I’m sorry you had problems, I’ve had a few challenges of my own with it. Hopefully the bugs will get worked out.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh this is a marvelous sad story.. How this take a sad turn from the dreamt joy to start with is excellent.. This was one of the hardest pictures I ever done I think… took me three days to think out, and my wife gave me the idea to turn to Medusa as my muse
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Dear Björn,
Thank you for your compliments. I’m happy you liked my story.
It wasn’t the easiest prompt we’ve had, was it? But challenges keep our skills honed. Taking your time isn’t a bad thing. I’m more impressed with an author who takes the time to write quality than with one who races to be first to post. 😉 Your wife was right. Thank her for me.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Close to home with this one. Which is worse the waiting or the actual ‘parting’.
Life changes everything…so does the alternative.
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Dear Jules,
Sounds like you’ve been there. In which case you have my regards and sympathy. Thanks for commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle, sad but wonderfully written story, very touching. Joy and sorrow are two faces of the same coin, have to accept both.
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Dear Indira,
Your comments are affirming. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Immortal gods (and goddesses) — conceived and conceiving at the birth of human imagination — illuminate the heart of this mother, and awaken the courage of her too-mortal child.
Your words evoke a world of wonder and yearning. Thank you !
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Dear Lee,
Thank you for coming by with your kind words.
shalom,
Rochelle
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