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The following photo is the PROMPT. Keep in mind that all photos are the property of the contributor, therefore copyrighted and require express permission to use for purposes other than Friday Fictioneers. Giving credit to whom credit is due is proper etiquette. This week the photo is one of mine.
Genre: Historical Fiction/Teaser
Not exactly an excerpt from FROM SILT AND ASHES
Word Count: 99
BOTHER IN LAW
Quinnon’s drunken accusations reprised like a canon in Ulrich’s head. How could Quinnon accuse his own sister of murder? No one could deny she had a fiery temper—but murder? Surely not!
Ulrich stood on the ship’s deck beside her. The moon’s reflections flickered on the waves like radiant sea creatures. A salt laden breeze ruffled his hair and chilled him through his thin shirt. Despite his raging mind, he relished the cool ocean spray on his face.
Catherine leaned her head on his shoulder. “What’s the matter, Ulrich?”
“I have to know. Did you kill your son?”
“Yes.”
A chilling story which makes me want to know more. Beautiful descriptions, and very evocative atmosphere! This line was exquisite:
“The moon’s reflections flickered pn the waves like radiant sea creatures.”
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Dear Vijaya,
I’m glad you want to know more. 😉 As I’ve mentioned, this is a teaser. Thank you for such a lovely comment in the early morning.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
So beautiful and thrilling and a real cliffhanger.
Best wishes
Helene
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Dear Helene,
Thank you for such a wonderful comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Powerful and chilling scene, Rochelle. Such vivid description. Your characters just spring to life. Great writing. — Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne,
I’m pleased that my characters seem alive to you. They’re most certainly real to me. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh dear, that single answer.
Very well written.
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Thank you so much, Chioma.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This reads like poetry to me… so well done, I can almost imagine the sea to be a metaphor for the emotions inside… and that question that delivers the answer like a punch.
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Dear Björn
What a lovely thing to says. I suppose the sea could be something of a metaphor in this scene.
Thank you,
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Never ask a question that you don’t really want to know the answer to.
Crit; Longer passage/more context might make it clearer. Did you mean ‘cannon’, rather than ‘canon’?
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Dear Archon,
Longer passage would make it clearer. All is explained in my second novel FROM SILT AND ASHES. This is sort of an excerpt and meant to be teaser.
I do mean ‘canon.’ Ulrich is a musician, which alas is not explained here.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Well how extraordinary that “yes” is.
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Thank you, Neil. There’s more story…in my book. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yes. Perfect excerpt to use with this picture.
And for those not in the know, great teaser! Smart woman, you!
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Dear Dale,
An author woman’s gotta do what an author woman’s gotta do. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That she does…😉
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I love the idea of the accusation rolling around in his head like a fugue. Nice image. Patrick O’Brian wrote of one his characters feeling the repetition of a Bach fugue begin to take on the tinge of madness. This reminds me of that.
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Dear J Hardy,
I’m pleased that you completely understood ‘canon’ not being the boom boom sort of cannon. Validation is always sweet. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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OMG! Yes, What a great teaser!
Beautifully written Rochelle,
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Dear Emmy,
Love your OMG comment. Of course, being a teaser, it’s my hope that people will order that books and read them. 😉 Two down, one to go.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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What a clever lady you are.
Superbly crafted, with not so much a punchline as a kick in the hee-haws, if you will forgive the expression.
Monumental.
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Dear CE,
It’s a great expression. It could show up in dialogue one day. 😉
Thank you for such a monumental comment. Always appreciated.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Laughing at the thought of that expression coming from one of your characters!
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I love the descriptive, picture forming writing. As a retired U.S. Navy sailor, your writing always brings back very real memories to me. The artwork and the writing make these characters and stories real in my mind. Awesome job, as always.
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Starts off strongly (I love the use of canon because the reader also fills in cannon before taking a step back to reflect I think).
Ends beautifully with just one word. ‘Yes’ but there is so much meaning in that one word.
Perfectly illustrates Less is more too, I feel.
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Dear Graham,
If Friday Fictioneers teaches us anything it’s that less is more. Thank you for your affirming comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Not only but also Rochelle. So many things I’ve learnt in this year of discovery.
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I too love the art work with this story, but was it murder, such a tease.
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Dear Michael,
Was it a murder? Ay that’s the rub. The answer’s in my novel FROM SILT AND ASHES. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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How did I not know you were an artist as well as a writer? And now I need to know the circumstances surrounding the death of Catherine’s son! Why would she do it? Was it accidental?
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Dear Lynda,
My lips are sealed. The answer to those questions can be found between the covers of my second novel, FROM SILT AND ASHES, the sequel to PLEASE SAY KADDISH FOR ME. Both books are available on Amazon.
At any rate, I’m glad to have aroused your curiosity. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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There’s nothing like a blunt and honest answer! I’m sure it won’t put Ulrich’s mind at ease though. He’s likely to have a lot more questions. As do we!
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Dear Thom,
Like any teaser, the the author has put the questions in your mind deliberately. The rest of the conversation and the events leading up to it can be found in my book From Silt and Ashes. 😉 Thank you for reading and commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Now that is a great sales technique! 😉
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That single last word is chilling!
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Mission accomplished,;) Thank you, Clare.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m out for the holiday weekend. I just wanted to pop in and send my good wishes and blessings and thanks to ALL Veterans from ALL wars! Have a blessed weekend, I’ll be thinking of you as I carry our flag, and pray over the many cemeteries I’ll be visiting! 🙂 Booyah!
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Great descriptions and he really didn’t want that answer, will he accept it? Will he allow himself to believe it?
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The answers to all of those questions and more can be found in my second novel, From Silt and Ashes. Thank you Michael.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The sea is a perfect environment for such a story. Your tale really brings out the ominous foreboding nature of that kind of crime
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Thank you, Larry. Of course the questions here, being a teaser from a novel, are what crime was it and who committed it. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wow – that was superb! Greedy for more…
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Thank you, Dahlia. There’s more in my novels. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The brevity of that last word that stops him dangling between hope and suspicion!
Awesome!
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Dear Sabina,
Exactly. Thank you. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The answer he was dreading. Many would suspect but never ask the question. I like that her answer was simply “yes”, with no extra explanation or excuses. Great piece!
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Dear Ali,
Her brother Quinnon has been tormenting Ulrich with the accusation. The answers are in the book. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wow, what a powerful moment. You told this so simply Rochelle, but I was gripped by the answer.
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Dear Laurie,
You couldn’t give me a better compliment. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Your radiant sea creatures puts me in mind of a line in The Ancient Mariner!
Good luck wit the new book. I am about to load number two onto my Kindle.
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Dear Miranda,
Your comments are music to my eyes. 😉 I hope you enjoy the second book. Please feel free to review both books on Amazon.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Karola Ruth Siegel,
I suppose from a therapist’s perspective, it’s always easy to blame the mother. And especially with such damaging evidence as her own words, “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
Just the facts, ma’am,
Roger
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Dear Roger,
That would be taking things to extremes. The facts can be found in FROM SILT AND ASHES…on the NY Best Sellers List (I can dream, can’t I?) Catherine is a therapist’s delight.
And that’s a fact, Jack…er..Roger.
Shalom,
Dr. Karola Ruth Siegel
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I wonder why she confessed so readily? Intriguing.
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Dear Liz,
The answer to that question and many more can be found in FROM SILT AND ASHES. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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he should have kept it a secret. now it’s out. if quinnon and catherine are having an affair behind his back, he’d be in real trouble. 🙂
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Dear Plaridel,
Catherine and Quinnon are hardly having an affair. They’re brother and sister. No incest in this book.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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ouch, i didn’t know they are. 😦
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Intriguing! I felt the abruptness of her response surprised me and in this length, I found it a bit hard to follow the POV switch to the second paragraph, but I appreciate this is a snippet and therefore not designed to be a complete story. You certainly get me interested to know more!
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Dear Jen,
There actually is no POV switch. The entire snippet is from Ulrich’s point of view. The abrupt end is, of course, part of the teaser. Although I write it this way in the book so it hits Ulrich like a sucker punch. Naturally, I want people to be intrigued enough to read the book(s). 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I meant abrupt in the sense that she replies instantly and there’s no clue for the reader about her tone, face or emotion. But yes, the impression for both reader and Ulrich is strong!
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Yes? And now? What does he say? Aaaahh… (I’ll read it, I know… 😉 ). The description is so lively I can feel the breeze. A great teaser.
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Dear Gabriele,
Thank you for such a great comment. I’ll be interested to get your reaction when you read the whole chapter (and book ;))
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You’ll get it.
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I too want to know more. At least she was honest.
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Dear Irene,
Of course this snippet is a small part of a larger story and deliberate misdirect. More than that I will not add. 😉 Naturally I’m glad you want to know more. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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RochelleThe teaser worked. I’ll be looking forward to reading more than a snippet. Cheers Irene
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That is just so cold on Catherine’s part! Is she a sociopath?
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Dear Seeker,
Actually, Catherine is definitely NOT a sociopath. That’s why this is called a ‘teaser.’ 😉 The answer can be found in FROM SILT AND ASHES, my second novel. http://www.amazon.com/Silt-Ashes-Sequel-Please-Kaddish/dp/1942981139/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1464344244&sr=1-1&keywords=from+silt+and+ashes
Sorry about the advert…but not really. 😉
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Families, eh! Who would have ’em.
Good luck with your run up to October. I for one will enjoy your extracts and the repeats.
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Dear Patrick,
I’m glad you enjoy excerpts and repeats. I promise quite a few in the coming months. 😉 Quinnon and Catherine put the D in dysfunctional families.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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ha ha – a “teaser” genre story 🙂 Now can’t wait to get the full scoop. Well done Rochelle.
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Dear Ansumani,
I hope you’ll enjoy the full scoop when you read it. 😉 This might not be going where you might think.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’ve been meaning to dip my toe back in for a while. What better way than with a picture of the sea!
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Dear Freya,
Nice to see you back here. I hope my story was as enjoyable for you as the prompt.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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How chilling, Rochelle. This is a great teaser. I love how you take us right there in the scene with the salt spray on his face and the wind ruffling his hair. You’re such a master at that. Things really heat up. This makes me want to dive into your story!
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Dear Amy,
I hope you enjoy the second book as much as you did the first. 😉 In some ways I like it better because of people like Catherine. But more than that I shall not add. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh dear. What a response. That was a punchline with oomph. Beautifully atmospheric images showing both his outer world and inner world.
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Dear Margaret,
Thank you for such a lovely compliment. Of course I leave the reader hanging since the rest of the story’s in the book. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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HI Rochelle
Great story. I love the way this challenge forces you to do things differently – the single word answer, which shouldn’t work, works really well and almost echoes in the mind.
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Dear EL,
What wonderful things to say. The answer is definitely a sucker punch to Ulrich’s solar plexus. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Beautifully evocative writing, and the sinister singular ‘yes’…I’m hooked 🙂
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Dear Cheryl,
And hooked is what I was going for. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh. My. This could be the intro on the jacket of the book, and it would fly off of shelves! Wonderful, Rochelle!
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Dear Dawn,
It might be a little misleading on a book jacket since this is a side story, although an important one to the book as a whole. Thank you for the magnificent comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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An intriguing teaser Rochelle! I like they way Ulrich’s conviction is completely reversed by the simplicity and honesty of Catherine’s answer. Seems he doesn’t know her as well as ne thinks!
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Dear RG,
Nothing evokes a good comment like a ticket on the guilt train. 😉 Ulrich definitely doesn’t know Catherine as well as he thinks. She has kept some dark secrets from him. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A very straightforward response – her smile yes leaves me wondering, what happens next!
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Simple, not smile… Now that would be sinister!
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Dear Freya,
Her response is a sucker punch to Ulrich’s midsection. The rest of her answer is in From Silt and Ashes, my second novel in a trilogy. (Nope, no smiles accompany her answer.)
Thank you and shalom,
Rochelle
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I hope she had a really good reason.
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She didn’t. But it might not have been her choice.
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I also love the vivid descriptions, and we know what kind of relationship these siblings have just by Catherine leaning her head on her brother’s shoulder.
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Dear Josslyn,
I”m glad you liked my descriptions however I didn’t mean to cause any confusion. The shoulder she’s leaning on is that of her husband, Ulrich. Quinnon is the brother who is making the horrid accusations.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I knew the answer but still enjoyed this.
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that means a lot, Dawn. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A highly effective teaser Rochelle. I look forward to reading more! I love the portraits too.
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Dear Siobhán,
Thank you on all counts.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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sorry for being late… i just missed on the linkztool.
http://abhishekwrites.blogspot.in/2016/06/sea-side.html
I am still keeping it linked up to u.
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Dear Rochelle,
I had to acknowledge your title, which I forgot to do last week. I noticed it right away, but failed to comment on it.
It’s brilliant.
Bother-in-law indeed!
🙂
Love,
Vijaya
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Loved the title Rochelle. Story is chilling but written beautifully as usual. Best wishes.
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Dear Indira,
I’m glad you caught the title. I figured someone would try to tell me it was a typo and I was missing the R. Nope. Not a typo. Glad you liked the story. Thank you for coming by. I’ve missed you, my dear.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear, I’m at my son’s place without my own computer. Reception is very bad here . I’m also missing your wonderful stories. Love you for saying that.
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Ah that explains it. I wanted you to know that your absence has been noticed. Thanks for friending me on Facebook. You’re one I consider a friend.
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Thanks a lot dear. It means a lot to me.
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