Our Mantra
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Please be considerate and try to keep your story to 100 words. Thank you.
Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100
COLD CASE
Mystery shrouded the vacant house at the end of the block.
According to the fifteen-year-old newspaper article I found while researching for a term paper, the place belonged to a young couple. One night someone broke in and savagely gutted Mrs. Jenson in her eighth month.
I asked my parents about it.
“Mr. Jenson hung himself,” said Dad. “Pity, they never found the baby.”
Mom flinched. “Glad they’re finally tearing that eyesore down.”
Dad’s spectral smile vanished and Mom turned ice-white when I presented them with the yellowed clipping and a photo of Mrs. Jenson who could’ve been my twin.
Beautifully written, chillin., And a new genre for you?
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Dear Neil,
A not often visited genre perhaps. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh my, what a chilling story. Well written.
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Thank you, Loré. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very well done, Rochelle. Quite chilling and very clever. xx Rowena
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Dear Rowena,
Thank you for such a nice comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh, that is horrible! What a twist!
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Dear Jane,
Since horrible is what I wanted this to be, I thank you for the compliment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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My pleasure 🙂 (or not)
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A nice, atmospheric build up and a twist that leaves things hanging with that ‘could’. A great story, Rochelle.
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Dear David,
Were Mom and Dad the murderers or innocent adoptive parents? I’m not telling. 😉 Thank you for your generous compliment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Nancy Drew,
Looks like it time to call Mystery Inc. and gather the original cast of Scooby-Doo to solve this crime. Personally, I suspect Ted Cruz and Paul Ryan, although I’m sure both will blame the untimely abortion on Obamacare. Stay close to your phone. More Tweets to come.
Detective Lowry
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Dear Detective Lowry,
Ruh-Roh! I’ll leave the milk, cookies and dog biscuits out for the team. Now for a roll in the mud and a scratch behind the ears. Maybe I’ll call Trixie Beldon and Honey in for a consult.
Shalom,
Nancy D.
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Do you know that there are no unresolved mysteries in Scotland? All are clarified by the accused, who explains succinctly if ungrammatically, It wisnae me, a big boy done it and run away.
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My children used the same excuse.
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I had that very thought when I walked by and snapped the picture. Peoria had a lot really spooky houses, but none so much as on Moss Avenue. Perhaps one day we’ll have Pegman visit that street. Nicely told story.
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Dear J Hardy,
Ray Bradbury had a knack for making us feel creepy about Small Town, Illinois. When I visited New Salem, IL I felt like I in one of this short stories.
This photo sent me straight to Creepy Town. No passing Go no collecting $200. Thanks for a great pic and a nice comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yes! I got it with the line, “Pity they never found the baby.” Shivers.
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Dear Linda,
I believe Mom and Dad know more than they’re telling. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Absolutely love this.
Clever, powerful, haunting piece, as good as anything I have ever seen from you.
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Dear CE,
On occasion I do have to step out of my historical box into another genre. I’m glad this worked. Thank you for such a wonderful comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I knew when ‘mum flinched’ there was something afoot!
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Dear Clare,
I’m not so sure the parents are all that innocent. Thank you for commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I love it when you step out of the “normal” box occasionally. But, I always know that there is a twist at the end. Great story in so few words. You are, indeed, the wordsmith.
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Dear Jan,
I’ve been told that “normal” is a setting on a washing machine. I do like to step away from the usual from time to time. 😉 Thanks for coming along for the ride.
Love,
Rochelle
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Reblogged this on All About Writing and more.
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Thank you for the reblog, Henrietta. 😀
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Hmm, time for the genetics test. Great story.
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Dear Trent,
I think we have a pretty good idea of what the DNA test will show. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ah, the ole ‘Appropriate the offspring / murder / demolition shtick’ – When will people stop falling for this obvious scam?
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Dear Martin,
I suppose as long as there are those kinds of monsters in the world people will fall for it. Although I’m not sure if you’re directing the comment at the people in the story or at my writing. At any rate, thank you for stopping by.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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…As in – it’s not obvious and no one ever does it! – Good stuff…
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I had a feeling about the baby when I read it. That gave me chills.
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Dear Bridget,
Alas, these types of stories do abound in real life. Chills were my aim. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You aimed well 🙂
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Dear Rochelle
Oh my goodness, that is a chillingly clever story. What a horrendous but interesting premise this would make for a novel. Sandra has competition this week, as FF’s Queen of Dark.
I’m really impressed.
All best wishes,
Sarah
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Dear Sarah,
Saying that I could remotely be competition for Sandra is high praise indeed! Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
My pleasure 🙂 It’s such fun, don’t you think, turning one’s hand to all types of fiction? I find that FF has really broadened my scope and given me a clearer idea of what type of stories people like best. Also, if a story promotes spirited discussion, that’s an entertainment in itself.
All best wishes,
Sarah
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Dear Sarah,
I love it when the audience gets so into the story and the characters they forget to say anything about the writing. I’ve heard that’s the mark of good fiction…you forget about style and print. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
And, yes, it’s great fun to dabble in other genres. Always good to step outside the comfort zone.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I have the feeling we’ll have a lot of creepy stories this week, but what a way to get the ball rolling! So deftly done in so few words – a murder mystery set and solved in a neat 100. Nicely done, ma’am 🙂
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Dear Lynn,
Creepy is the theme of the week it seems. I’ve seen a few stories similar to this on the news. So I went there. Glad it worked. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I really did work for me. Chilling, but then sadly life can be just that.
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OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!
Can’t stomach it!
Truth does have a way of coming out!
WHY DO PEOPLE THEN DO SUCH THINGS!
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Dear Sabina,
Why indeed? Yet those stories are all over. I could send you links but I won’t. I do feel for an 18 year old in Florida who found out recently that she had been stolen from a hospital nursery and raised by her kidnapper. So many emotional conflicts.
Sorry, but not sorry to evoke such emotion from you. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Don’t be!
I am angry that, when there are so many children who have been abandoned, so many refugees who need rehabilitation, so many orphanages overflowing with little ones needing care, someone would resort to such a heinous crime!
Methinks they did it more out of jealousy and an intent to destroy a family!
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I have to agree with Sarah. Sandra has a good bit of competition!
Here’s another twist. Let’s say the parents adopted the baby, not knowing she was the result of such a heinous crime? Until she pulls out the photo…
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Dear Dale,
And I repeat. To be accused of being competition with Sandra is a high compliment indeed. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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For sure!
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This is a chiller, Rochelle. I think secrets have been held a long time. Good writing as always. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne,
How many stories are there like this? I’ve found several variations on the theme. Horrible.
Re my writing. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wow, a new direction and very effectively done! Chilling and terrifying. Definitely something with this house!
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Dear Iain,
This house did inspire a good many of us to go dark. This is a different direction for me. 😉 Experimentation is good for the soul. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ouch! So many unanswered questions here, Rochelle, as I’m sure you intended. I have a few moments while Grandma takes the kids for a walk; it’s nice to do a bit of reading.
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Dear Jen,
A person can only say so much in 100 words. 😉 Yes, I did leave it open for question on purpose. Hope you’re enjoying your holiday.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Absolutely. I didn’t mean it as a bad thing. Although it’s a break away from your usual style, I don’t think there’s any harm in a bit of ambiguity.
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I didn’t for a minute think you meant it as a bad thing. 😉 I appreciate your taking time to read and comment, Jen.
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That was definitely horrifying. Well done.
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Thank you, James. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It seems Mom has a lot of explaining to do. For the sake of everyone involved, I want to think that the baby was out of Mrs. Jenson before it was taken. But all the flinching gives me pause…
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Dear Magaly,
Everyone seems to have a different take on who did what. 😉 That works for me. Mom and Dad definitely have some ‘splanin’ to do and I think it might be from behind bars. Thank you for taking your time to read and comment. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wow! That’s a departure for you – and you do it so well, too. Very very sinister. Well done.
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Dear Sandra,
I’ve been accused this week by a couple of others of competing with you for dark and sinister. Not so, just a temporary hike from my beaten path. 😉 Your comment/compliment means a lot to me. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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So grim, leaving so much for the reader to ponder about,
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Dear Michael,
There is a lot to ponder, isn’t there? I’ll leave you to it. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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How eerie!
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Eerie was my intent. 😉 Thank you, Margarisa.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wow! What a jolting last line.
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Dear Christine,
Mission accomplished. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This is s story I wish I would have written… now I cannot go for a body I think…
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Dear Björn,
I couldn’t receive a higher compliment. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A new crime thriller in the making!?
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Dear Claire,
I suppose it could be a crime thriller. But I think I’m only good for this one episode. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Don’t be silly! Change genre you never know…. I have noticed a lot of Flash Fiction seem to be crime related the two (haha) i’ve read
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There’s something about the creepiness of the gate and the house that inspired us to go dark this week. Change genre? I’ll have to think about that. 😉
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Very nice twist. “Dad’s spectral smile.” makes me think he, at least, knew what happened even if he didn’t actually commit the act.
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Dear April,
Astute observation. The word is deliberate to point a finger at Dad. The rest is left for the reader to ponder. Was Dad involved in the act or not? The author’s not even sure. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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oh-uh, it looks like mom and dad have something to hide.
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Dear Plaridel,
I should say they do! Karma has arrived. Thanks for swinging by.
Shalom,
rochelle
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Terrifying!
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Mission accomplished. 😉 Thank you, Hilary.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Welcome to creepiness. This one really was horrible. A fan, always..
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Dear Neel.
In this case, horrible is taken as a compliment. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh! This did bring goosebumps and my dinner did churn. Objective achieved! 🙂
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Dear Joyful,
Goosebumps are appropriate and taken as a compliment. Thank you. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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My eyes went wide and I was like, “Wow!” when I read the last line.
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Dear Shivamt,
I’ll take a “wow” anytime. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yikes! I’d be a little afraid of what mom might do now when confronted with the truth. And how much did dad know and when did he know it?
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Dear Rommy,
Even the author isn’t quite sure how much of a part Mom and Dad played in the grisly crime. Thank you for coming by. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yoinks! Is there something you’re not telling me, Mum and Dad…? Nice one 🙂
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Dear Ali,
Mom and Dad are pretty shady characters, aren’t they? Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh my god the end 😮😧 Creepy.
Great story Rochelle 😊
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Dear Vaidehi,
Creepy is exactly what it’s meant to be. Thank you. 😀 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh my! That is chilling!
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Thank you, Joseph. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yes, I agree with all, this was a chilling tale. My mind is still churning with how one would react to such news.
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Dear Cindy,
It would be tough to know how to react. Do you turn and hate the parents you thought you knew all those years? Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ooooooo talk about ghost story… surprise ending but those looks from the parents… soooo creepy
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Dear Laurie,
I’m not sure I’d call it a ghost story, but skeletons are definitely falling out of the closet. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Love what you’ve done here. And what else are these people capable of doing?
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Dear Sascha
You just never know about certain people, do you? Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wow Rochelle! So graphic but like a car wreck, I couldn’t look away. Truly enjoyed it.
Peace to you 🙂
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Dear Raymond,
What a comment! Thank you. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A change of direction for you this week Rochelle! Brilliant, creepy and open to one’s own interpretation. Loved it.
Click to read my story
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Dear Keith,
Every once in a while it’s good to go in a different direction. Glad you liked it. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The Horror! The Horror!
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Horror indeed. Thank you for coming by, Tamal. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Chilling Flash! It is a beautiful picture with a haunted atmosphere to it. Very inspiring.
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Dear Luccia,
The photo I take no credit for other than choosing to post it. 😉 Happy to send chills this week. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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YIKES …
Querida Rochelle,
Chilling and a bit gruesome … but I love it. Looks like someone has some explaining to do.
I didn’t expect this from you, my friend, but it’s a good, good vignette for a longer story.
Have a super weekend.
Abrazos,
Isadora
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Querida Isadora,
¿Quién sabe? Perhaps one day I’ll expand this one. Unfortunately, it’s based on more than one true story. Every so often I get a wild hair to leap outside my comfort zone. 😉 Glad you liked it. Thank you.
Shabbat Shalom y abrazos,
Rochelle
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Marvelous! So creepy and chilling…one wonders what the child will do!
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Dear Samantha,
I think the child might need to be in therapy for many years to come. Thank you. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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yes, I think you are right
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I especially like the description of “Mom” and “Dad” in the last paragraph – as though they were confronted with a ghost. Great venture into gruesome horror this week, Rochelle!
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Dear Joy,
I think the fecal matter is getting ready to hit the rotating device for Mom and Dad. Thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great way to put it, that made me laugh!
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Oh wow. Would love to hear how this turned out.
– Lisa
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Dear Lisa,
I think this could go in more than one direction. Thank you for the ‘wow.’ 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I am itching to know the whole story!
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Dear Dahlia,
The whole story I leave to your imagination. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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😀
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Ohhh, it’s a beautiful sunny Saturday morning here but this made me shiver. I like it!
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Dear Louise,
Mission accomplished. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Didn’t see that one coming! Brilliantly awful.
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Brilliantly awful? I like that. Thank you, Liz.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yikes, frightening! Very intriguing, too!
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Dear Emily,
Thank you on both counts. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m certain mum and dad are behind it all, their body language tells it. Why is it your stories always feel like having watched a movie or been there? Good writing, I’d think. 😉 How about historical crime fiction, eh?
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Dear Gabi,
Thank you for such a wonderful comment/compliment. Even if the “parents” didn’t do the deed themselves, I’m sure they know who did. And yes, they played a huge part.
Historical crime fiction? Not sure. I came close with Quinnon in FSAA, but I’m not sure I’d be up for an entire book. I’ll give it some thought. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh wow. Mom and Dad have got some explaining to do. Great construction – I didn’t see it coming.
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Dear Sarah Ann,
Yes, they do. I suspect some of their explanation will be from behind bars. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oooh i got shudders reading your final line Rochelle. I liked your use of spectral too, really added to the shock, and very chilling
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Dear TRG,
I’m glad you picked up on ‘spectral.’ Tip off. Happy to send shudders your direction. Thank you for coming by. the blue frog and I are smiling.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle
It seems we have both been in a dark place in order to respond to the prompt this week. A very upsetting tale, with shades of the Manson Family.
Well written, as always.
Take care
Dee
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Dear Dee,
Unfortunately, the concept wasn’t original with the Manson family. Something about that photo sent quite a few of us to the dark side this week. Thank you for your kind words. So happy to see you back.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Wonderful twist; it begs the questions, who knew, what, when.
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Dear Dawn,
All good questions that even the author can’t answer for certain. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Scary and intense. Love it.
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Thank you, Connie. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, I love your dive into horror. You do it so well. I’ve been watching American Horror Story with my wife and this is the sort of plot that would have come into the show somewhere. 🙂
-David
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Dear David,
Unfortunately, my little dabble in horror is based on more than one factual story. I just sort of melded them into one. 😉 I’m pleased that it worked. It’s not a genre I often tackle. Thank you…and great to see you here. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Horrible and truly disturbing, you’ve done a great job as always. It seems this was the week for horrible.
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Dear Michael,
There’s something about that photo, isn’t there? This was a stretch for me, but I rather enjoyed the reach. Thank you for such a nice comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The parents murdered the mother and kidnapped the baby right from the womb! It is sad that such horrors do happen in the real world. Such a different theme for you Rochelle, and so well written too.
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Dear Fatima,
This one can be interpreted many different ways. 😉 At any rate, the “parents” are in no way innocent. Thank you for your generous comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hi Rochelle, It took me a few times of reading this to ‘get’ it – but that’s the sign of a good story, that it’s not all laid out on a plate and you make the reader do some work! A chilling little tale which throws up many more questions…great!
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Dear Rebecca,
I’ve been told never to spoon feed a reader. 😉 Your comments make my head swell just a little. Thank you for making my morning.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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As the say in the X-Files, the truth is out there – or in this case, a lot closer to home! Great atmosphere
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Dear Siobhán,
I think the child is about to hear the truth from her ‘parents’ behind bars. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ooh! What have the lovely parents been up to? You take chilling and make it worse! Very nice!
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Thank you, Margo. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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