Our Mantra
The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.
A little teaser this week from my second novel FROM SILT AND ASHES
Genre: Historical Fiction circa 1904
Word Count: 100
LACK OF VISION
“I’ve been reading.” Arel peered over his newspaper at seven-month old Rachel in her highchair. “There are places for people like her.”
“She’s a person.” Havah seized the paper and ripped it in half.
“In one of those schools she can be with other persons who are…” he lowered his voice, “…blind.”
Choking on her anger, Havah hobbled to their bedroom where she hauled a suitcase from the closet. After stuffing it with his clothes, she shoved it down the stairs.
“Havah, listen to reason.”
“I will when I hear it. Come back when you decide to be a father!”
Powerful. You create a very vivid scene full of dramatic tension.
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Thank you, Jane. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Densely textured, Rochelle. A very satisfying story. And a brave title
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Dear Neil,
Thank you for such a full compliment. Glad you noticed the title.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Havah did the right thing, of course! Loved it. Powerful writing, Rochelle.
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Dear Esha,
Havah most certainly got his attention. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I already admire Havah . Wonderful excerpt . Thanks for sharing it and the gorgeous works of art , Rochelle.
Regards,
Moon
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Dear Moon,
Havah is a courageous woman and lets nothing stand in her way. Thank you for your sweet comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I guess some men are only sperm donors and nothing much else. I could totally empathise with Havah, you painted the picture so well.
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Yeah, we like to be thought of as sex toys.
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Men!
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Dear Joyful,
There really is more to this story. 😉 As I said, it’s an excerpt from a novel. Arel and Havah do go through a rough stretch though. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle, a very powerful image you have painted, both in the story and outside it. Kudos to Havah. Reading you will always be a delight.
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Dear Neel,
Thank you, as always, for such a wonderful comment. You have me looking in anticipation every week. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The depth of a true mother’s love is something to be reckoned with, indeed! 🙂 ❤ We all need Mom's like this. Great story. Love, love, love the artwork.
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Dear Jelli,
When it comes to her children in the novels, Havah proves to be a mother bear. You don’t mess with her kids. 😉 Glad you liked it. Thank you for your comments on all counts. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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While it would be easy to judge, in the historical context we still had much to learn about the value of any disabled person. Thankfully for the majority, times have moved on. Powerful scene Rochelle.
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Dear Iain,
There’s a lot of irony in Arel’s reaction to his daughter’s blindness as his father has been blind most of Arel’s life. But that’s another part of the book. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A powerful write Rochelle. Unfortunate and tragic that people like Arel are still around…
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Dear Dahlia,
Fortunately, Arel didn’t stay in his pit of ignorance and selfishness. Other’s never get it, do they? Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh I am glad 🙂
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Excellent 100 word story. So much visual in so short a story, but, I know you are the wordsmith. However, for those who have not read the book, don’t presume to know the finish. Get it, read it, and learn. (Smile)
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Dear Jan,
Of course, it goes without saying that you know where this is all headed. 😉 Thank you. ❤
Love,
Rochelle
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Oh I do love that excerpt from the book. The best choice a mother can do… and a real father is needed.
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Dear Bjorn,
The actual excerpt that I used is actually 314 words long but that would be breaking my own rules, wouldn’t it? I liked the challenge of distilling it. 😉 So glad it worked. Thank you
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I think there are still people who find it hard to accept the fact a child if it is less than perfect. And in the past having a disability was even more of a hindrance than it is today – what future was there for many blind people if they found work difficult or impossible? A depressing one for sure. A girl in that position needs a Mum on her side who’s a lioness and Rachel certainly has that! A touching story that raises many issues, wonderfully told, Rochells
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Dear Lynn, ‘
Lioness is an apt description for Havah. Saddled with her own disability, she is a mother bear when it comes to her children. Arel’s reaction truly baffles her, though, since his own father has been blind for most of Arel’s life. But, as you pointed out, somehow imperfection is more difficult to accept in one’s child. And the world back then wasn’t as accepting of children with disabilities.
Thank you for coming by and leaving such a nice comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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My pleasure. And perhaps Arel’s reaction is partly borne out of the difficulties he saw his father endure. As you say, difficult times for those with a disability. All the best 🙂
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Dear Rochelle,
Excellent choice of excerpt for this picture. I remember the scene well and agree with Lynn. Even today parents (sadly, more often the fathers than the mothers) have trouble accepting their children’s “imperfections”. My own BIL had trouble accepting his son was autistic. Took years for him to come to terms with it and realise that the boy (now a man) is a wonderful, capable, young man who just needs extra help.
Always in awe of you,
Dale
xo
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Dear Dale,
I think fathers, more than mothers expect their children to be perfect little reflections of themselves. (Perfect? Pfft.) I’m glad you liked the excerpt. I rather enjoyed writing that scene. At that point I knew the outcome. 😉 Sometimes, I myself have to ask what Havah saw in Arel.
Thank you, my friend.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Seriously. I wanted to smack him a few times throughout all 3 books!
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The heart wants what the heart wants. 😉
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Hahahaha!
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What a strong woman. I guess she told him. I love the sketches, Rochelle. Great writing. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne,
Havah is a force to be reckoned with. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great scene. Crappy fathers are as common a cigarette butts on a city sidewalk.
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Dear Josh,
All too true. However, there’s hope for Arel. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hi Rochelle!
Heart-breaking tale. I could hear the newspaper rustling in my mind’s ear as I read it. I posted two stories this week. Couldn’t decide which one I liked better.
Peace my friend.
kat
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Dear Kat,
No rules against posting more than one story for the same prompt. Usually I’m doing good to manage one 😉 Thank you for your kind words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh, nicely done. Good for Havah!
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Dear LIsh,
Havah is a mother bear when it comes to her cubs. 😉 Thank you.
Rochelle
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Good for Havah! She told it like it is. I like the way she didn’t hesitate. Great story, Rochelle!
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Dear Eric,
When it comes to Havah’s children…;) Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Good little tidbit there, Rochelle. Very well done.
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Many thanks, Varad. Glad you liked.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I hope Arel comes to his senses! This scene captures the family dynamics so well.
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Dear Magarisa,
Arel’s young and, I think, afraid of failure. I can assure you he will come to his senses indeed. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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What a drastic response from Havah. That’s practically the nuclear option! I hope Arel finds a diplomatic response!
Well written, Rochelle.
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Dear Penny,
There were a few other events leading up to Havah’s explosion. Afraid Arel’s response isn’t what you’d call diplomatic either. It takes him a while. (it’s all there in FROM SILT AND ASHES 😉 ) Thank you
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This Havah is a lioness! Love her 🙂
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Dear Karen,
Havah is a force with which to be reckoned. I’ve loved her now for the past 15 years. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Reblogged this on All About Writing and more.
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Thank you for the reblog, Henrietta. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You are welcome!
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Great story dear.It touched my heart.
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Thank you so much, Indira. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Shalom dear.
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Very poignant story, Rochelle, and a feisty main character!
My thought was, it’s impossible to judge the problem of blindness in 1900 with a 2017 mindset. I suspect his suggestion wouldn’t have been that unusual for that age, so there must have been some prior dispute between them over this issue that she reacted so strongly.
I’d like to read the whole account sometime. In an era and society where a husband’s income was usually vital to the survival of the family, she wouldn’t have been tossing him out without serious forethought. Our world and thinking have changed so much!
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Dear Christine,
In the novel Arel has a hard time accepting the fact that his daughter is blind, which might be difficult to understand since his own father has been blind most of Arel’s life. Although, it’s true that disabilities were handled differently 100 years ago. However, I can assure you that the rest of the family sets Arel straight. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A touching portrayal of an immensely difficult challenge for any parent, especially in that era, when they didn’t have the resources for the blind that they do now. Havah doesn’t pull any punches with her response though, does she? What a strong character.
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Dear Joy,
Havah definitely has a backbone of steel. And don’t mess with her children. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Good for her! She’s got her priorities straight.
Interesting twist in the image.
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She does indeed, Alice.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Dr. Drew,
Great excerpt. This little scene certainly has a heightened level of tension and suspense. You showed us a lot about the character of the participants in just a few short words–which is what flash fiction is all about. It touches the emotions. Bravo!
Calvin
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Dear Calvin,
I’m glad you approve and liked it. 😉 Be prepared for more of it at OWL. Looking forward to standing on a chair and seeing you face to face. 😀 Thank you for such a lovely comment.
Shalom,
Dr. Drew
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Or, I can sit on the floor and we can be eye level.
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There is that. 😛
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Havah did the right thing to Arel , an insensitive person. Rachel is in strong hands. A very powerful story, Rochelle. Loved the character of Havah.
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Dear Kalpana,
I’m fond of Havah myself. 😉 She’s definitely the perfect mother for Rachel. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh wow! That is amazingly intense.
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Oh no, Rochelle, you’ve spoilt the ending! Arel and Havah become married and have a daughter.
Apart from that spoiler, I like this, it feels self contained, a distinctive Beginning, Middle and End. Poor Rachel. What is she going to do?
Shalom
Kelvin
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Dear Kelvin,
I hope I haven’t spoiled it too much. I guess that’s the challenge of writing a series. It’s hard to hide certain incidents by the time you get to the second book.
You’ll just have to read FROM SILT AND ASHES for the full story. 😉 And just because you know that Arel and Havah do marry, you don’t know the whole story.
Thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I know, Rochelle. I would have been upset (surprised) if they did not marry, they seem such a compatible couple. And I will continue reading the series, because it’s the journey that’s important, not the destination!
I was just pulling your leg a tiny bit. 😉
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I loved the last line. Feels great to know about strong women. I do want to more now though! What a teaser.
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Dear FP,
There is one way to learn the whole story. ) Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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True! Can’t wait.
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Packed full of emotion. Brilliant Rochelle
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Thank you very much, Bettina. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very powerful! Definitely leaves me wanting more, and the illustrations are gorgeous.
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Dear Sarah,
As PT Barnum said, “Always leave the audience wanting more.” 😉 Thank you on both counts.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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this tells me with absolute clarity who is wearing the pants in the house. he better learns to behave. 🙂
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Dear Plaridel,
I suppose Havah does wear the pants in the family at that. 😉 Thanks for coming by.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Is life ever easy or straight forward?
Add complex or challenging circumstances and it becomes more difficult.
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Dear Chioma,
Life does throw us some curves. 😉 Perhaps Arel will find his child to be a blessing in the long run. But I’m not saying. Thank you
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I love Havah’s strength and love for her daughter. You set a very realistic and heartbreaking scene.
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Dear Cindy,
Havah has a lot of backbone. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh what a choice yet i think she made the right one.
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Dear Laurie,
In Havah’s mind there was only one choice. And it was definitely the right one. 😉 Thank you for reading and commenting. .
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Good for her. Chuck him out until he learns what parental responsibility (and love) mean.
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Dear Ali,
He’s a bit of a slow learner I’m afraid. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The title and the last few words wrap your story perfectly. Brilliant.
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Dear Keith,
Thank you very much for your astute comments. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Loved how the mother decided to stand by her child. I read this but had not commented. Absolutely loved it Roch
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Dear Akshata,
When it comes to her children, Havah’s a mother bear. 😉 Glad you liked my story. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Really a unique take on this picture!
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Many thanks, Zainab! 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Good read👍
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Thank you, Thrifty Campers. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’d have chucked him out too.
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Dear Liz,
You don’t mess with Havah where her children are concerned. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Good stand-alone story. I like the final line. Has attitude.
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Dear Cuzzin Kent,
Brevity is the soul of wit ¿no? Gracias.
Shalom,
Cuzzin Shelley
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😀
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So much going on here. Love it, Rochelle.
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Dear Linda,
Thank you for such a lovely comment. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That Havah, can’t help but love her.
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Glad you do, Dawn. And thanks for all the reviews.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You are most welcome.
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It took me a while to actually grip the story but superbly written
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Dear Dee Dee,
Thank you for sticking it out. Glad you liked it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very nice!
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Many thanks!
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A gripping tale, Rochelle.Loved every bit of it, Rochelle.
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Aw, Thank you for such a sweet comment, Kitty. 😀 It means a lot.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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My pleasure, you are welcome, Rochelle.
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A great scene, and a very fitting title. And I love the art. Your characters come alive through your writing, but the art adds the chocolate on top.
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Dear Gabriele,
Thank you on both counts. It’s tough to say which I enjoy more painting pictures with watercolor or words. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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