This week Pegman takes us to Talnakh, in Krasonoyarsk Krai, Russia. My story takes place in another part of Russia.
Thanks to Karen and Josh for the challenge and the extra 50 words.
Now that the holidays are basically behind us, I need to turn my attention to my next book, A STONE FOR THE JOURNEY. This week’s location is the perfect inspiration for this edited scene from AS ONE MUST, ONE CAN. Naturally it’s my hope that these excerpts I’ve posted will whet the reader’s appetite to read my novels and, of course the upcoming coffee table book–designed for those who like to look at the pictures. 😉 😉
Genre: Historical Fiction
Word Count: 150
BURIED DEEP
“What’s the matter with you?” Sergei glared at Nikolai. “You’ve never told Oxana about your own identical twin brother?”
Oxana seethed. “No. Why should he tell me anything? I am only his wife.”
“I don’t blame him for keeping it a secret.” Sergei took a labored breath. “I’m the one at fault. I used to slap him for even mentioning Bodrik’s name.”
“He was always so competitive. Had to be the best at everything.” Protracted memories zipped through Nikolai’s mind. The frozen Neva River ran like a ribbon through St. Petersburg. “‘Race you to the bridge,’ Bodrik yells. Of course he’s in the lead. Suddenly the dumb durak stops and sticks out his foot. Our skates tangle.”
“Nikolai looked like he’d been mauled by a bear. Bodrik escaped with a simple bump on the head.”
“What happened to him?” asked Oxana.
Nikolai shivered. “He died in my arms that night.”
Dear Rochelle,
You are right, perfect choice for this week. I remember that scene well. Heartbreaking.
I do hope these little snippets incite people to read the fantastic trilogy. I adored It!
Lotsa love,
Dale
LikeLiked by 3 people
Dear Dale,
I dub thee president of my fan club. 😉 I’m so glad you love my peeps as much as I do.
In reality this scene is a melding of two different ones. But I think it works well for this purpose. I wouldn’t want to rewrite the novels for the next book, would I? Thank you my friend. Stay warm.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
I accept!
Oy. Bad president to not realise it’s a melding of two… 😳
LikeLiked by 1 person
No worries. You’re not expected to have them memorized. 😉
LikeLike
No? Phew!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This small excerpt from the trilogy definitely works. Sad event, but part of a great character development tool from the toolbox of a great author. However, with the temps outside now, couldn’t you pick a warm, white sandy beach picture and whisk us there?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for the wonderfully encouraging comment, m’luv. I’m all for the warm sandy beaches but didn’t find any in Russia. 😉
LikeLike
A tragic story. Life can be so frail.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Life is frail indeed, Penny. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is a tragic scene. It really fits the prompt this week, too. Thanks for participating!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Josh,
In going back to print off the story for my book, I realized I was nearly 40 words short as I’d copied and pasted two sentences from another portion. Still the same piece…just more of it. 😉 Thank you for taking the time to read. I hope you’ll go back and catch 30 more words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s a pretty good reason for not mentioning him, I think. I could really feel his wife’s insult at not being told and imagine she’ll be more sympathetic now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear James
Lots of familial dysfunction here. But that’s what made them interesting. 😉 I think I might be upset if I’d been married to a man for two years without knowing he had a twin brother. But, yes, she might be a little more sympathetic. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some families keep great and terrible secrets, Rochelle. They make the best stories.
LikeLiked by 1 person
True that, James. Nothing works better in fiction than a few skeletons tumbling from the closet. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I have said this before, Rochelle, but I don’t mind sounding like a record and saying it again… the way you work flashbacks into your prose, without affecting the pace of the story, the reader’s enjoyment, is masterful.
Such a tragic tale.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Kelvin,
This kind of repetition is always welcome. 😉 This is one of my favorite moments in the three books when we learn why Nikolai has made some of the choices he has. Thank you!
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tantalizing tale well told. Masterful storytelling: You get across so much about each of the characters in so few words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Karen
Many thanks for such high praise. An author can’t ask for better. (Well a spot on the NY Times Best Seller List would be nice. 😉 )
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Yipes. Cerebral hemorrhage? That’s precisely why head injuries should never be taken lightly. I see why he never mentioned his twin. The pain of that day must’ve been horrific. You really pack a lot of emotion into so few words. Fantastic stuff, Rochelle!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Eric,
Probably a cerebral hemorrhage. But it remained a mystery and had much to do with Nikolai’s choice of a career in medicine. It’s funny how the muse works. I didn’t know about Bodrik myself until I’d started the third book. 😉 Thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
How tragic to not only lose a brother but a twin. “A simple bump on the head, as we now know, can be big trouble. Always good writing, Rochelle. —- Suzanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Suzanne,
They say there’s a special bond between twins. I see this with my daughter in law and her identical twin. At the time I started this part of the third book, Natasha Richardson died after a bump on the head that seemed minor. Thank you for your sweet comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Some feelings are so strong they just can’t be spoken of. But maybe it’s time a little light penetrated this sealed corner of his mind.
Happy new year to you and your family.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Christine,
Inadvertently, Sergei has made his surviving son feel guilty for living. It is indeed the point in the book where light is being shed in the dark corner. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom and Happy New Year to you and yours.
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s often the wounds you can’t see that run deeper. Nice little snippet 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Ali,
Internal wounds take years to heal, don’t they? Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
A vivid and tragic scene, Rochelle. And a death that rings so true, a death hiding inside you, ready to claim its victim. Well written story
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Lynn,
A tragedy such as this one leaves wounds that take a lifetime to heal. Thank you for your affirming comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
My pleasure 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person