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PHOTO PROMPT @ A. Noni Mouse
Click the dancing frog to join the fun.
Genre: Hysterical Fiction
Word Count: 100
I REST MY CASE
My son slept on a mattress on the floor. Dirty glasses and plates with mold enough to save the planet from infection littered his room. Filthy clothes and towels covered the bed.
I fumed. “You could hide a body in this room.”
One morning I went to wake him for work. No Evan. I even called his friends.
My heart thrashed at red smears on my white cabinets.
Before I could call the police, Evan entered the kitchen. “Mo-om, why didn’t you wake me? Oh, sorry about the spaghetti sauce.”
“Told you. You can hide a body in that room.”
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
I like it and having two boys of my own can relate. Not only can you hide a body it sometimes smells as if there is a body (:
Well done.
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מיכל יקרהת
Oh yeah, the stench was there, too. Not enough words to describe it fully. 😉 Thank you for feeling my pain. Fortunately he grew into a responsible adult.
שלום
רחל
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Mumdering the spaghetti sauce was fun and unexpected.🙂
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Thank you, Mike. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yeah, kids, wotcha gonna do, eh?
Fun stuff, m’lady
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Dear CE,
It’s best to clean their rooms after they move out. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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A beginning, middle, and end. A story that loops back on itself, end echoing the beginning. Now there’s a masterclass in writing flash!
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Dear Neil,
Now there’s a comment/compliment to make my day! 😀 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Happy Hump Day to ya, Rochelle.
Well, I enjoyed that story. Fun, if not always fond, memories. Well done.
Peace, Bill
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Dear Bill,
At the time, it wasn’t fun. But now that “Evan” is a grown man, living far from here, they are fond memories. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I remember my brother’s room. Totally gross. So yes, I can identify with this, even down to the spaghetti sauce. Good one.
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Dear Sandra,
The roles were reversed in our family. My brother was the neat one. There’s no justice, is there? Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Sounds kind of like the voice of experience after three boys, huh? Loved the spaghetti sauce! The photo kind of reminded me of what our kitchen looked like when I was three or four.
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BTW, that was MY comment just now. Forgot to identify myself. Oops!
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🖖🏻😎
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Dear Anonymous Cuzzin Kent,
It’s still early here in the steamy Midwest. The only fictional part of this story is the name of the son. 😉 Oy that room. If I’d had more than a hundred words. Of course, according to the stories my dad used to tell, my mother would stand in the doorway to my room, scream and shut it. Some people are neat and orderly…then there’s me.
Shalom and Good morning,
Cuzzin Shelley
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You grok? 😉
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Context is all. I’m on a couple ‘The Odd Couple’ pages on Facebook so I suspect his mattress is covered in things like goop melange, and lasagne and French fries, besides the sports page of his local newspapers
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Dear Larry,
He was most definitely the younger version of Oscar Madison when it came to neatness. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I love your genre. As the wife of a messy man, I can relate 😀
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Thank you, Joy. 😀 Afraid my husband’s neater than I am.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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My 2 haven’t got this bad yet, or rather, we haven’t let it get this bad yet.. once they hit the teenage years, we’ll see! Good fun Rochelle 🙂
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Dear Iain,
Just so you know. I found both of your comment attempts in my trash folder…with Dale’s. Go figure. I don’t know why this is happening. At any rate, perhaps you’ll be lucky with your kids. Not all of them are slobs in their teen years. Although mine were. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks for letting me know Rochelle, very annoying when WordPress randomly starts blacklisting certain people! We’ll see how my two turn out when they hit the teenage years!
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Dear Rochelle,
I know of what you speak. Funny how my dishes multiply when they decide to clean their rooms… Suddenly, I have the proper set of plates and bowls and cutlery…
Shalom and Lotsa ya-gotta-love-em-anyway love,
Dale
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Dear Dale,
Exactly so! The room really looked like something out of Hoarders. Thank you.
Shalom and lotsa this-too-shall-pass hugs,
Rochelle
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Oh gawd… I know this scene…
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lol, you never specified if the body were dead or living….
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Considering Evan emerged from the squalor, I’d say the body was alive. Thank you, Trent.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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yes, but I was thinking in the original statement about hiding bodies…
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What a fright! Time for a clean. Although that might be another horror story!
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Dear Tanille,
That room was never really clean until all three boys were grown and gone. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Aha, telling tales of the past once again. And a true account of, probably, the stories most parents could relate to. Good job Lady Wordsmith.
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Tales of the Bermuda Rectangle. 😉
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Phew! Relieved 🙂
Spaghetti sauce and no body – glad you didn’t call the police to investigate 🙂
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Dear Anita,
The spaghetti sauce on the cabinet and my son’s name in the story are the only parts that are fiction. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh, poor Mum! Made me smile though. 🙂
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Dear Susan,
I smile in retrospect. At the time…well, I didn’t always see the humor in that room. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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It is so hard to get kids, even grown-up ones, to tidy their bedrooms. Yet, I always considered that the kitchen was a place they had to keep tidy, with more or less success.
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Dear Gavriella,
Mine didn’t do much for my kitchen either. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nice twist! Enjoyed this.
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Thank you, Paula. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I appreciate you leaving out the ‘odor’ so we not have to imagine that … (oy, now I just did … ;)) This was fun!
And, yeah, who knows how many bodies are hiding in some such rooms … 😉 or could be …
Na’ama
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Na’ama Y’karah,
Sorry, I’m just getting around to replies. It’s been a hectic week. Partly because I’m under the gun to finish my novel in progress. Not a bad thing when an agent and publisher are interested. 😉
As for the room. Even his girlfriend dubbed it The Bermuda Rectangle. If I’d thought of it sooner, it would’ve been the title.
Happy to spare your olfactory. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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My olfactory is very pleased to be saved … 😉
Congrats on the novel-in-progress and the interest from agent and publisher – woohoo to you! :
Hugs galore!
Na’ama
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Rochelle, perfect title for your story. It reminds me of my sons’ rooms when they lived at home. Now in their 30’s, one is still a slob (takes after me) but one is a neat freak (setting a new trend for the family.)
Shalom,
Lisa
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Dear Lisa,
If I’d been thinking about it, the title would’ve been his girlfriend’s word for it at the time, The Bermuda Rectangle. Actually, this one has become something of a neat freak. Boggles my mind. He has all of his CD’s (which number in the 100’s or more) in alphabetical order. Go figure.
Thank you. Guess mothers everywhere can relate. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle,
LOL on The Bermuda Rectangle! Sounds like he’s really into music which is a good thing also.
Shalom,
Lisa
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Hidden well then… At least it was bag bowl and not something else…
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Thank you, Claire.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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this made me laugh. definitely stuck a chord in me. 🙂
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Dear Plaridel,
Mission accomplished. 😀 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I can relate. I always get stuck with messy people. Your story takes me back to my childhood and why my brother and I could not share a room. The spaghetti sauce reminds me of my roommate. She cooks. I clean. It looks like a murder scene when she makes spaghetti. Once, she got spaghetti sauce on the ceiling. I don’t know how it was possible.
Good story. I would have enjoyed it more if it didn’t stroke my PTSD.
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Dear Nobbin,
Sorry to stroke your PTSD. I hope you’re not having terrible flashbacks. 😉
My childhood was the reverse. My older brother was the neat one. My mom used to just keep the door to my room shut. My dad jokingly said I hung my clothes on the floor. I guess my little acorns didn’t fall far from the tree.
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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There is humour in this as it reflects the truth about sons and daughters. I think when they are worried (mostly over nothing) they tend to ignore the world around them.
My teenage daughter once complained there were no glasses left in the kitchen.
Yes, I know, I told her. That is because they are all in your bedroom.
She said, If you knew they were there, why didn’t you bring them back to the kitchen.
Honestly, I said. With all the mould growing in them I didn’t want to disturb your biology experiments.
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Dear James,
You made me laugh out loud. I had the same conversations with my son. Thank you. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh no! A heart stopping moment!
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It was, Colline. Thank you for stopping by.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Great story! I like the swerve from the dark build-up to the almost punchline of the ending.
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Thank you, Josh. Life’s experiences are great fodder for stories, aren’t they?
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Very entertaining story, Rochelle! The scene you described reminded me of my son’s room. A bit like a hamster cage we would always say. 🙂 Hope you are well!
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Dear Brenda,
Hamster cage? I like that. My son’s girlfriend at the time aptly referred to his room as The Bermuda Rectangle. 😉 I am quite well, thank you. 😀 and thank you for your sweet comments on my story.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Sons!
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Indeed! 😀
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Boys will be Boys !! can totally relate to the mess my son creates!
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Dear Ruchi,
Yep. I had three of them. Not a neat one in the bunch. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Funny story, Rochelle. Oddly enough, our son was the neatest of our two children. Once in a restaurant, my two-year-old son watched the waiter sweeping the carpet with a short-handled sweeper. I noticed a short time later he had grabbed the sweeper and was energetically doing the same. He also watched the maid when we were staying some days in a Holiday Inn. I later found him with a washcloth wiping down the tile walls in the bathroom as he had seen her do. He’s now married to a woman as clean as he is. 😀 — Suzanne
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Dear Suzanne,
My brother was always the neat one in our family. 😉 For the most part my boys grew up to be fairly organized in their own homes. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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He was very well hidden it seems! A delightful little tale Rochelle.
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Dear Keith,
Honestly, I looked. Thank you. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Sounds like one heck of a mess! Fun 🙂
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It was, Ali. Thank you. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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You just never know what you’re going to find where. Not the kind of excitement that’s encouraged..:)
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Dear George,
His girlfriend at the time dubbed his room The Bermuda Rectangle. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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https://wordpress.com/read/blogs/152466281/posts/5076
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Hi Lauren,
I’ve taken the liberty of adding your link to the inLinkz list where you’ll find other stories to read. 😉 https://fresh.inlinkz.com/party/a726c1a84f8449a089662ab02d75654c
This part of my page is for comments on my story. Thank you and welcome to Friday Fictioneers where reciprocation is half the fun.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you. I was unaware.
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There’s always a learning curve, Lauren. Hope you enjoyed my tale of woe.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Peace be with you. I love learning new things.
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I had an interesting time reading the comments, I could not help laughing all the way down. My last two boys have me always fuming over the sloth and filth in their rooms. Unwashed cloths, plates and cups for days and the smell! Oh no! Now I know and feel somewhat relieved it is a universal situation. 🙂 There is hope yet. 🙂
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Dear Celestine,
I do believe the problem is universal. The operative is “boys” although I was kind of that way as a girl, so my little acorns didn’t fall far from the tree. Fortunately they seem to have outgrown their slovenly ways. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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That gave me a good laugh Rochelle. Excellent ending. Let’s hope he cleaned up after that. Aren’t young adults fun? Note the sarcasm.
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Dear Shelley,
The truth is, he didn’t clean up until he left home. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Oh Rochelle, a departure from the factual, brilliant, my heart was in my mouth, great stuff.
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Dear Shrawley,
There’s factual and then there’s factual. 😉 Than you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m glad you didn’t go there, there. Well done.
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Dear Josh,
I was glad it didn’t go there, too. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Alfredia Hitchcock W(T)F,
Nice build up of suspense, but the end was more Mel Brooks than Hitchcock. Was this your tribute to Carl Reiner?
I used to make the same remarks about hiding a body in Jesse’s room. 🙂
I didn’t play this week, but wanted to read yours. Glad I did.
Liza’s Dad
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Dear Liza Jane’s Daddy,
Please get that tennis ball under the sofa.
It’s nice to think of my story as a tribute to Carl Reiner. I’m mourning the loss. I wonder if Mel Brooks won’t be far behind (even if he is 2,000 years old). 😦 Truth is, I cut my first tooth on Carl Reiner’s comedy. My dad was a huge Your Show of Shows fan. At any rate, thank you for high praise.
My son’s girlfriend in high school referred to his room as the Bermuda Rectangle. Wish I’d thought of that as a title first.
Shalom,
Alfredia Hitchcock W(T)F
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Haha. Maybe it’s time to get him a cleaning kit. (Though if he’s like me it’d probably get done by the end of the century).
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Dear Bernadette,
The happy ending, so to speak, is that he outgrew his slovenliness…after he left home. 😉
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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All’s well that ends well.
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This gave me a good chuckle, Rochelle and I could relate completely as you described perfectly, my son’s room.
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Dear Michael,
It seems every parent in the group related. 😉 Glad to give a chuckle…my purpose in writing it. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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OMG ! My brother was exactly like this!
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Dear Laurie,
Seems to be the same all over the world. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I think my room was kept much tidier than what my daughters keep theirs. Possibly because of lessons learnt in a boy’s boarding school where if your locker is not clean the consequences were much severer and painful 😉 Or boys are just neater 😉
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Dear Subroto,
When I was growing up, my older brother was the neat one. My room, on the other hand, was a constant disaster. However where neatness is concerned I’d never say boys were better at it than girls. My son(s) are a case in point. Again…The Bermuda Rectangle. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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This story rings true. Did it really happen that way? Sounds like the room had just as many species as a tropical rainforest! 😉 A fun read, Rochelle.
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Oh Mags,
This one is as true as true can be. The only fiction is spaghetti sauce on the cabinet and the son’s name. 😉 His girlfriend affectionately referred to his room as The Bermuda Rectangle. Thankfully he’s outgrown his slovenly ways. Thank you. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
You must be relieved that he’s outgrown his slovenly ways! 😀
Shalom,
Mags
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Querida Rochelle,
I wanted to stop by and see some of the stories from last week.
I hit my hand on the pool tiles while trying to swim. LOLOL – swollen left hand. Getting better!
YIKES … on your story. No disrespect to anyone who does these things. I never had a mess nor did my kids. Could it be from being beaten to my bones as a child if I did?
MMmmm … I have had friends complain about their children. Well … since I can’t relate I’ll just say … nada. LOL
Abrazos y Carino,
Isadora 😎
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