19 January 2018

Published January 17, 2018 by rochellewisoff

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“The key to building an audience is reading and commenting others’ works.” Russell Gayer

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.ย 

PHOTO PROMPT ยฉ J Hardy Carroll

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As the new year has begun, I need to concentrate on my coffee table book. (I hope you’re not tired of hearing about it.)ย 

There are always those scenes on the cutting room floor. Here’s one that didn’t make it into AS ONE MUST, ONE CAN. It’s edited from over 200 words as well. The lesson to be learned here is ‘never throw anything away.’ ๐Ÿ˜‰ย 

Genre: Historical Fiction

Word Count: 100

A TIME TO LAUGH

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  Guilt niggled Havah for watching Vaudeville at Electric Park on the Sabbath. But didnโ€™t the Book say laughter is good for the soul?

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  Jugglers wearing gaudy costumes spun plates on sticks. Acrobats in skintight outfits flipped in midair.

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  Havah marveled when the magician made a pair of turtledoves appear out of nowhere.

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  โ€œItโ€™s called sleight of hand.โ€ Itzak shrugged. โ€œHe probably had them stuffed in his trousers.โ€ย ย 

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  โ€œWho cares? Heโ€™s amazing!โ€

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  Next the tricksterโ€™s dog pointed to letters on cards with his paw to spell out his nameโ€”P-I-L-U.

ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  In a stage whisper, Itzak said, โ€œGlad his name isnโ€™t Constantinople.โ€

 

120 comments on “19 January 2018

    • Dear Suzanne,

      I had a backstory that I’d originally written into the first novel. After working with it, I realized it just didn’t pulse the story forward. Nonetheless, I kept the segment. Turns out it works beautifully in the third novel. You just never now. ๐Ÿ˜€ Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • This story made me chuckle at the end. Great writing. Very visual in so few words. I can hardly wait to read all the “new” stories that will accompany the artwork in “A stone For The Journey “. This will be an epic, must have book. Keep on keepin on M’luv.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Francine,

      I suppose, just reading this snippet, you could take Itzak and Havah to be kids. Actually, in the books they’re adults…although Itzak never quite grows up. ๐Ÿ˜‰ And no bad things happened to them. It’s interesting how entertainment has evolved, isn’t it? Vaudeville is seen as so innocent and primitive in our high tech society. At any rate, forgive my long winded reply and I’ll stop with a simple Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • I love this scene – such a vivid image of the carnival and its entertainers and I love the contrast between your characters, the wide eyed wonder of Havah and Itzak’s shrugging practicality. A good character piece as well as a lovely period scene.
    You’re so right about saving cut scenes – I’m redrafting a novel at the moment and stowing all the cuts in a separate file. You never know, eh?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Lynn,

      I’m glad the contrast between them came through. There’s a little more explanation in the longer version of this story that will go in the coffee table book. Itzak is usually the clown in the family.

      As for saving, I still have the longer version of my last novel in MS form. Who knows where and when the excess ill be used. Waste not, want not. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dear Ted,

        I’m glad you’re saving your shekels. When my publisher suggested this book he said he was looking at selling it for $30.00. Hardback with full color pages. Yeah…I’m pretty pumped about it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        I could claim guilt by association with Russell for the final line, however, he’s innocent. Glad you joined the party this week. Thank you.

        Shalom,

        Rochelle

        Like

    • Dear Sandra,

      I’m not sure the dog could’ve done more than four letters. I actually found Pilu the dog in some article about a carnival in the day. It might even have been one about Electric Park. It was quite the place in its day. Thank you for the read and the comment.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Dear Rochelle,

    You are a smart cookie for keeping your “scraps” – I only hope I’ll be that smart one day! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    And this scene is lovely. Heaven forbid we laugh on a holy day…

    Lotsa love,

    Dale

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, Dawn. The coffee table book was my publisher’s idea about two years ago when I was posting the character bios on my blog. Originally my thought was to have it a book of character studies with the sepia portraits. Since then it has evolved which is why you see all of the illustrations here and on Facebook. I’ve never even seen something quite like this so my hopes are high. ๐Ÿ˜€

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Lish,

      I was told early on when I was writing and rewriting and editing Please Say Kaddish for Me not to throw anything away. I did find that a couple of scenarios I cut out of the first book ended up in the third. ๐Ÿ˜€ This scene was too cute to pulse the story forward in the third book but, see, it will work in the coffee table book. Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Jan,

      I’m sure you know how it is. Sometimes those stories slow a novel down. Some of my slaughtered darlings have ended up as short stories. Glad you enjoyed this one. ๐Ÿ˜€
      Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Like

  • Dear Marie Laveau W(T)F V.D. (doctor of voodoo medicine)

    I’ve always heard that a bird in the hand was more comfortable than two in the trousers. I enjoy good magic acts and never worry about “how they did it.” That Bullwinkle was amazing. He fooled me every afternoon at 4:30. Him and that damn squirrel are partly to blame for me turning out the way I did.

    Lovely excerpt,
    Delbert Q.

    Liked by 1 person

  • Hahaha. What a brilliant last line, Rochelle!
    I realised after reading your beautiful and refreshing story that I hadnโ€™t been to a fair for a long time. Thanks for reviving some lost memories.
    Loved the dialog.๐Ÿ™‚
    Best wishes,
    Moon

    Liked by 1 person

  • Dear Rochelle

    Moi, tired of hearing about your work in progress?

    Of course, I am not.

    So glad this outtake found its way up from the cutting room floor. I can almost smell the grease paint, hear the, ‘Roll up, roll up, meet the incredible bearded lady!’

    Shalom

    Kelvin

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Brenda,

      By the time I came along Electric Park was a thing of the past but we had Fairyland Park and Kiddie Land. Very happy memories of those places. It’s fun writing about a woman in my hometown, almost a century before I was born. ๐Ÿ˜€ Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • Dear Rochelle,

    That’s a wonderful bonus, an additional scene featuring Havah! Her delight at the Vaudeville is infectious. See me smiling ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ I love her spontaneity and childlike pleasure in things. I’m sure that here delight outweighs any objections that people could possibly have towards her doing something “frivilous” on the Sabbath.

    All best wishes,
    Sarah

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Sarah,

      And for a rabbi’s daughter, as well as being a rabbi’s daughter in law. ๐Ÿ˜‰ But you’ll remember that Yussel enjoyed baseball games and Crackerjacks. ๐Ÿ˜€ Coming to America changed a lot of things. Thanks for taking the time to read and leave a nice comment.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • We lost some great entertainment when vaudville dwindled out, that’s for sure. Sabbath in my house, despite my mom’s paganity, was extremely strick. You could read, do homework, sunbathe, visit family or neighbors, but never, never go out to something like the fair. She took ‘no work’ seriously, even not eating out and making others work. Sometimes, i miss that part…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Jelli,

      All cultural background aside, ie my maternal grandfather was Orthodox. By the time I came along we rarely attended Shabbes services unless it was for a Bar Mitzvah. If anything my mother was ‘religious’ about her Saturday afternoon Mah Jhongg games. :/ Thank you for taking the time to read and leave such a nice comment, my friend.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • I love the line at the beginning, “didn’t the Book say laughter is good for the soul?” On the one hand, she felt the rules said she shouldn’t be at the show; on the other, she reasoned that what she did was in line with principles. Interesting for theological reflection.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Anna,

      Actually, in my books, Itzak is the family comic who can find humor in every situation, even tragedy. Hard to pull that off in 100 words. But it’s fun seeing the interpretations I hadn’t thought of. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

  • I love the excitement in this, the guilty secret of watching, the detailed descriptions of everything new, and the cutting observation at the end. This is such a lovely vignette I worry about what else might be on your cutting room floor.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Sarah Ann,

      This was just one of those scenes, that while fun, didn’t pulse the overall story of the novel forward. I cut about 7,000 words…scenes that were just ‘too cute’ or too much of a derail. At any rate I’m glad you enjoyed this scene. Happily it’s going in the next book. Thank you.

      Shalom,

      Rochelle

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s good to hear it will be used. I am editing at the moment and am reading with ‘does this advance the story?’ in my head the whole time. It makes you read in a different, and much slower way.

        Like

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