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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.
PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz
Click the frog for adventures in literature!
Genre: Histrionic Fiction
Word Count: 100
ASK FOR MAYO AT YOUR OWN PERIL
“You want your sweet potato chips?”
“Ugh, take ‘em.” Ralph scowled “Give me the regular ones any day. I can’t believe I let you order for me. At least the pastrami sandwich was good.”
Alice savored the flavor. “For your information sweets pack a more nutritional punch than whites.”
“I’ll give you a punch.” Ralph waved his fist under her nose. “One-a these days, Alice. Pow! Right in the kisser.”
“Seriously. Sweet potatoes have more vitamin A and twice the C.”
She reached for his plate again. He clapped his hand over hers. “Keep your grubby mitts off my pickle.”
*
*
Note: Alice and Ralph Kramden weren’t Jewish but they were New Yorkers which is similar. 😉 So I leave you with these words of wisdom:
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple 
I understood the motto at the end of the piece, which made me smile. I recogised that the story depended on nostalgia for a bygone era of television. But I think you probably have to be American to get it
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Dear Neil,
Yes, I did go with American nostalgia this week. Apologies to those who don’t get it. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’ve done that so I know how it can backfire. The Honeymooners has always struck me as a show the whole world would be expected to know though
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Not sure I’d call it a total backfire…a bit of a miss, but I think most are getting it. 😉
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Different times, m’lady, when a threatened punch in the face was considered amusing.
I like how you slipped in dietary advice!
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Dear CE,
Glad you caught the dietary advice. Nothing like a good sweet potato fry (chip) with horseradish sauce. 😉 The truth about Ralph and Alice that made the threats funny was that he was a teddy bear who would never lay a hand on her. She wore the pants in the family. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m guessing a match made in heaven? A bit before my time. I’m sure violent threats are endearing in some circles. 😀
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Dear Tanille,
It’s actually a tiny bit before my time. 😉 The endearing part about this match was that Ralph would die before actually laying a hand on Alice. Alice was truly the one who wore the proverbial pants. Enjoy a sweet potato today. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Lovely dollop of nostalgia and smiles!
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Thank you, Peter. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Amusing stuff. Certainly nostalgic – I wonder what would happen if I went to my producer today and suggested a comedy series where the husband keeps threatening to give his wife a pow in the kisser – but he loves her really! Changed times indeed.
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Dear Iain,
I doubt your producer would pick it up. And they called them “gentler times.” On the other hand sitcoms are loaded with biting sarcasm, aren’t they? Alice was very good at that, by the way. 😉 That part hasn’t changed. Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Not familiar with Ralph and Alice but I got the drift just fine. And loved the subtext too. Pastrami just doesn’t float my boat, but maybe I should have it with rye and see if that makes a difference. Well done as always.
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Dear Sandra,
No doubt, Britain had something similar in the way of sitcoms back in the day. Glad you caught the subtext, too.
Pastrami is definitely different on a good dense rye…with mustard or horseradish, never mayo (hence the title which I nabbed from a Katz’s Deli Menu. https://katzsdelicatessen.com/
Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you for the memory recall, Ralph and Alice their antics lovely, almost as good as pickles.
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Dear Michael,
You remember The Honeymooners? Thank you for your lovely comment.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Funny, I paused at the photo of the Honeymooners at the top of the page and thought they would make a good subject for a FF story… I guess you were way ahead of me.
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Dear Trent,
Not sure what about Ted’s photo sent me to the Honeymooners, but the trip was fun. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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The trip to the moon and back… It was fun 🙂
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As a real New Yorker~and as Jewish as the Kramdens and Nortons~I can believe this
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Dear Larry,
My dad was a rather rotund Brooklyn-born Jew transplanted by the Army. Jackie Gleason reminded me of him in a lot of ways. As a true New Yorker I’m not surprised you came along for the ride to da moon. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I have no connection to Brookly..originally from Queens, then Long Island..but I most certainly know that kind of humor so well too. There was a line on the show that stands out, where Ralphie Boy Pal O Mine says, ‘ No Mrs Schwartz this is a house phone. You can’t get Jersey on it. ‘ but other than that, it was mostly for us Irishmen…Shalom
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Nonetheless, there’s a whole different mindset in New York. Of course my dad always said Brooklyn was a separate country. Was he right? 😉
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They have a distinctive mindset of their own. You might remember from ‘Welcome Back,Kotter’ that it’s the fourth Largest City in the U.S.. Someone who moved into Brooklyn fifteen minutes ago tells people he’s from there, including a Lyft driver I met from Jamaica(the island, not Queens). They have a large Italian population, unlike other boroughs, which are known more for minorities(blacks, hispanics etc), besides Italians. They seem to be the borough with the most distinctive personality and folklore
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My dad had a lot of stories about growing up there in the early 1900’s. 😉 I always tell people I’m half NY Jew.
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To the moon Alice! 🌝 I can see this in my head. Very good.
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Thank you, Andrea! 😀
Shalom,
Rukhelita
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I needed the smile. So much sadness in the air.
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Dear Joy,
Your smile makes me happy. 😀 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Cute little story.
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Thank you, Neel. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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As a non-American, some of it did go over my head, but the last sentence really had me chuckling!
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Dear Keith,
I realized early on that my friends across the Pond might not completely relate to my decidedly American story. I’m so glad there was something about it that made you chuckle. But never touch my pickle, understand? Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I would dare to even tickle your pickle!
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Fun! I actually laughed out loud one the last line. Alice could keep Ralph at bay, all right.
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Dear Cuzzin Kent,
As if Ralph would’ve ever laid a finger on Alice. That was the humor of it. She just stood there calmly and waited for him to end his rant and then boldly spoke her mind. Loved them. Glad you laughed. My work here is done.
Shalom,
Cuzzin Queen Shelley
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I liked the story, however, I do mayo as you are aware, and you haven’t died yet. lol. I do love my pastrami on rye, and you can’t have my pickle. But you always try.
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Dear Jan,
Yeah, I know who you are. No I haven’t died, but I’ve cringed and gagged a lot. 😉
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It’s a neatly written story, and a good take on the prompt. Americana is a bit out of my cultural bubble though.
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Dear Penny,
I knew from the first comment that some would relate to the characters and some would not. 😉 We’ll call it a sharing of cultures. How does that sound? Thank you re the writing. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’ve never had the pleasure of a New York deli. Maybe, someday. Loved the story, as it brought back great memories of laughter and fun. May Ralph and Alice live in perpetuity in television reruns, so the next few generations can enjoy them like we did.
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Dear Linda,
If you’re ever in New York, check out Katz’s Delicatessen on Houston ST (that’s pronounce How-ston…important to remember), you won’t be sorry. Be sure to enjoy the pickled tomatoes. Afraid if I were to have the chance to go again I’d have to set my gluten free diet aside and have a pastrami on rye. 😉
Happy to take you to the moon with me. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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New York has no appeal for me, sad to say. I’ve been there, don’t care if I never go back. But, from your description, I think I would love the offerings from those delis. Maybe I just need to go with someone who knows and loves the city.
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I went a few times with my eldest son, which of course makes the memory to be savored even more. 😉
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Dear Rochelle,
I won’t go into the pastrami vs Montreal smoked meat nor the NY vs Montreal bagel… we shall remain friendly on this here platform 😉 Love the link to the Honeymooners, which, while before my time, who hasn’t (obviously speaking of North America) seen at least a snippet or even used a ‘Pow! Right to the kisser’ or ‘to the moon’ at least once?
Fun stuff and perfect to lighten today’s mood.
Shalom and lotsa to the moon love,
Dale
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Dear Dale,
When you say smoked meat, you’re speaking my language. To pastrami and smoked meat are apples and oranges. Both delicious.
Fun stuff is needed right now, isn’t it?
Shalom and lotsa lighthearted hugs,
Rochelle
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I must agree. But don’t tell me you’re giving me smoked meat when you give me pastrami!
Fun stuff is necessary right now.
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No indeed. They are NOT the same thing. Although smoked corned beef is awfully good. 😉
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Smoked corned beef…Hmmm… I’ve had it boiled but not smoked! I’ll trust you on that one.
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Definitely the best of both worlds. Yum
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Now I’m hungry.
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That’s back when the threat of domestic violence was funny. Those were the days. (That’s a different show.) It was only funny because no one believes Ralph has ever or would ever hit Alice. The buffoonish venting of his frustration is the actual joke. Punctuated by the unflinching, almost mocking look from Alice.
Fun story. It makes me want to go watch The Honeymooners. I’ve only seen a few episodes.
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Dear Nobbin,
Exactly the running gag. Ralph was all blow and Alice didn’t buy into it for a second, did she? I can only watch snippets of those shows now. They were hilarious and engaging when I was a child, but now they’re kind of tedious. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Trust a woman not to give in!
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Dear Sabina,
Alice had backbone and Ralph was all blow and no show. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Normal in certain homes, rt!
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Never seen these people before, might be slightly before my time and country, but really nicely written, once again I’,m back for my weekly education!! Nicely done Rochelle
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Dear Shrawley,
I’m always happy to share. 😉 No doubt country has more to do with it than time. Here in the States. The Honeymooners are still showing on certain nostalgia channels. I hope my instruction on sweet vs white potatoes registered. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I’m making some leek and sweet potato soup later on today, so something has sunk in!
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Phew! I’m relieved to know that my true message had an effect. 😉 Enjoy your soup!
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Hi Rochelle,
Well, I got it.
I gave up white bread one Lent and never went back. I wonder how many lives I have thus saved. 🙂
I should (need to?) be doing this. “And Away We Go…”
Shalom,
Bill
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Dear Bill,
You won my heart at “And away we go…” 😀 This Jew thanks you for not eating white bread. 😉 Actually the life you saved is probably your own. 😉 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Of course, Rochelle.
Growing up, I was so well acquainted with Jewish Rye Bread, it was much later before I discovered there were other varieties. I thought it was a law; pastrami on rye with mustard…all one word. 🙂 But with PB&J, white bread seems right.
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Sweet potato fries, yum! I cut wedges, coat with olive oil and seasoning, and bake. Very tasty with a mayo-hoisin dip (yes, I know that ruins the nutrition part.) To the moon delicious.
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Dear Lisa,
I’ve had some good luck making sweet potato fries in the air fryer. So yummy. I admit to liking them with horseradish sauce. Regular mustard works for me, too. 😉 Thank you for reading and commenting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, I’ll have to look up air fryers. If it avoids calories… haven’t tried horseradish sauce but love horseradish, so will try it. Thanks for the tips, and you are welcome 🙂
Shalom,
Lisa
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Air fryers are fabulous. Similar to oven frying but even better in reducing the amount of fat used. I highly recommend them. 😀
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Didn’t know about the quote at the end.
Ordering pastrami can result in death of a Jew?
Stay safe, Rochelle!
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Dear Anita,
It’s a joke that probably doesn’t translate. The joke is that a Jew would be offended by someone eating pastrami on white bread…not literal death. Stay safe yourself.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yeah, Ralph was never going to hit her. It was only funny because he didn’t really mean it. The quote in the notes was brilliant. Pastrami on white bread is blasphemy! It’s gotta be on rye at the very least.
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Dear Eric,
A good Jewish rye with caraway seeds is the best. 😉 White bread? Blasphemy indeed. Glad you see it that way. As for Ralph and Alice–exactly. I loved the way she let him blow off steam with that deadpan expression she had. Obviously, she didn’t feel threatened, did she? Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I have just binged a sandwich series on youtube… if you ever grow tired over that one, I know the danish open sandwich culture better, and during covid I have started making my own sourdough (which I take with cream cheese and Swedish roe spread mmm)
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Dear Björn,
The Swedish roe spread sounds divine. I’m a huge fan of gravlax and make it often, too. It’s interesting how many have taken to baking during lock down. Thank you for coming by.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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this made me laugh. language is truly alive and evolving through generations. 🙂
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Dear Plaridel.
Glad it made you laugh. 😀 Yes, language does evolve.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks for the dietary tip Rochelle. Such a lovely, heart-warming story! My hubby used to do that too, place his fist on my cheek playfully. I guess only old-timers will get the cuteness if it 🙂
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Dear Joy,
Yes, a few were quick to point out the threat of violence. As if Ralph would ever hurt his beloved Alice. 😉 Thank you. Glad you caught the dietary tip. 😀
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you for the smile … 🙂
I’ve shared mine …
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Na’ama Y’karah,
You’re always welcome to a smile. 😀 Enjoyed yours.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rochelle
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Smile is be good! 🙂
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🤣🤡🤣💜
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I laughed and thought – how typical since once the food is on the plate it is not for sharing. Nice tale – must try sweet potato chips.
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Dear James,
Some people don’t appreciate sharing their food and recoil at the though of someone else’s hand on their plate. Then there are those of us who see the other guy’s plate as fair game.
Sweet potato chips are really good. Bon apetit.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I wish I’d turned the volume down on my laptop before I clicked on that video.
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https://brooklyneagle.com/articles/2019/06/05/brooklyn-queens-day/
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I wouldn’t let anyone take my pickle anything either. Luv ’em!
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Dear Ali,
Same here. And nothing beats a good Kosher half-done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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I could not fathom a pastrami sandwich on white bread. Or any other kind. Good one, Rochelle. Will be fun to read what everyone writes.
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Dear Ted,
When my (very gentile) husband and I were first married my parents gifted us with real corned beef and rye bread from a local Jewish deli. My husband slapped the delicacy on two slices of white bread, slathered it with mayo and added the ultimate nasty, American “cheese.” Thanks for adding your 2 cents worth (or 2 cents plain 😉 ) and the generous loan of the photo.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Ah ha, I see. You are most welcome.
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I enjoyed this without having to know the series referenced. The dialogue did it for me and until now, I didn’t know white bread was such an evil monster either. 🙂
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Dear Michael,
I always loved peanut butter and grape jelly on white bread….but NEVER pastrami. OY VEY!!!
I’m glad you enjoyed my story. 😀 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Mmm peanut butter, now you’re talking 😋
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Peanut butter is one of my mainstays. 😀
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What a charming and up-beat bit of nostalgia Rochelle – all new to me. I appreciate learning more about how other people live. Thank you.
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Dear Francine,
I so glad you enjoyed. Thank you for saying so.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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If nothing, you do have a rye sense of humour Rochelle. Must look up Alice and Ralph on youtube.
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Dear Subroto,
Moi? A rye sense of humour? That’s all white with me as long as I’m not half baked. Thank you
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Nice one, Rochelle. It brought back memories. When I lived in New York, I used to watch The Honeymooners every night. Loved the show. Good old Ralph, Alice, Norton and Trixie.
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Dear Adele,
The Honeymooners were hilarious, weren’t they? As if Ralph would ever have hit Alice. I don’t think so. 😉 Thank you for your kind comments.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Yes, they were hilarious. And you’re right, Ralph would never have hit Alice. And most times the show ending with them kissing and making up. You’re welcome. Thanks for the memories 🙂
Shalom,
Adele
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I think my favorite parts of this story may have been the quote at the beginning and the motto at the end. LOL. She is totally right of course that sweet potatoes are probably healthier, but mm, I do love me some starchy and oily fried potatoes. I can see both sides here. I want to say that I have never ordered pastrami on white bread – nor would I – because that is indeed unnatural and wrong. Now give me turkey on rye, and I will be a happy little human.
Anne
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Dear Anne,
Oh I never said I didn’t love french fries. Good ole white ones, extra crispy. 😉 The title is a quote from Katz Deli’s menu. I’ve been there. I think they mean it. Thank you for your comments that made me grin from ear to ear.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Fried chips (sweet or white) have almost zero nutritional value. I hope Alice knows this 😊
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Thank you, Moumita. I’ll let her know. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hahaha good one! So many great references!
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Happy to make you laugh, Laurie. 😀 Thank you.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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LOL…love the quote. I would never order a pastrami on white bread. Never!
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Dear Dawn,
You’ve restored my faith in human nature. Thank you. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
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