Humor

All posts in the Humor category

23 August 2019

Published August 21, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

So I’m not blue. Click on me anyway. 

Genre: Realistic Fiction

Word Count: 100

CHEMISTRY

“He has a great personality,” said her brother Bart.

Twenty pounds overweight with no prospects, Denise agreed to a blind date.  

Grant was a lulu—kinky orange hair and squinted eyes behind thick horn-rim glasses.  

He fidgeted and checked his watch. “We ordered dinner an hour ago.”

“Yeah, I’m wasting away to a ton.”

“Stop it. You’re just right.”

Denise’s cheeks warmed. “Really?”

“And pretty.”

She relaxed. They chatted away like two old friends until their orders came.  

“Filet of dinosaur.” She skewered her steak. “Yum.”   

He flashed a dazzling smile. “Bart didn’t lie. You do have a great personality.”

 

16 August 2019

Published August 14, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Jan Wayne Fields

Click on the Frog! 

Genre: Hysterical Friction

Word Count: 100

ALL THE AMENITIES

            May 1984. We couldn’t wait to take advantage of our newly-purchased lot in a nearby recreational development. So we packed our children-plus-one and everything we needed for a successful camping trip.

            Sometime in the night the soothing buzz of locusts gave way to thunder and driving rain that demolished our tents.

            Thanks to the help of a sympathetic grounds attendant, our excursion ended in a half-finished bathroom with three bedraggled boys and one engorged mother whose inconsolable baby chose the worst time to wean himself.

            Shivering, I muttered to my grumpy husband. “Someday we’ll look back at this and laugh.”

Weekend Writing Prompt – AMATEUR

Published July 27, 2019 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s comment section.

Word Prompt

Amateur

Challenge

My friend lists my achievements in wide-eyed wonder. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

While it’s true I’ve had some good reviews, my books aren’t on the Times bestseller list.

Despite sales, with each new painting, I still feel like an amateur.

And, please, don’t ask me about my organizational skills.

Weekend Writing Prompt – GRIMACE

Published July 13, 2019 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s comment section.

Word Prompt

Grimace

Challenge

As usual, with the weekend writing prompt, I wrote the first thing that popped into my head. 😉 I couldn’t help myself. If English is your first language…

Bad grammar. Don’t it make you grimace? Don’t it sit your teeth on edge? Me and my writer friends seen it over and over. They is just as upset about it as me.

 

 

LOST IN TRANSLATION

Published June 23, 2019 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s comment section.

Word Prompt

Translation

Challenge

The following is an updated flash fiction I posted in Friday Fictioneers a few years ago. It just seemed to fit the prompt. My title is part of the word count in this case. 😉 

LOST IN TRANSLATION

A stunning contradiction of cropped black hair, bronzed skin and sea-foam blue eyes, Aggie McKewen’s face reflected her Inuit and Scottish parentage.

Every Saturday Keith, who worked at his uncle’s café in Seward, Alaska, served her grilled salmon in shy silence. He longed to speak to her but she was as deaf as a fencepost. 

He enrolled in night classes, determined to learn to express his feelings in sign language.

After six weeks of diligent practice, he felt ready to ask her out and signed his invitation.  

With a voiceless giggle she snatched his pen and order pad. There she wrote, “I’d love to but why did you call me a tampon?”

At a restaurant in Alaska – Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

 

21 June 2019

Published June 19, 2019 by rochellewisoff

Dear Friday Fictioneers,

While I realize my page is FF central where you come for the prompt and instructions,the lower half of the page is also my comment section. In light of this, I have a favor to ask of all of you. When you have an issue such as problems with linking in the inLinkz or have a technical question, please direct these to my email runtshell@gmail.com. I check my email as often as I look at my comments (which I also appreciate greatly). Thank you for your consideration.

Shalom,

Rochelle

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Click the Frog and Hop on board. 

Genre: Recent Memoir

Word Count: 100

SWEET FULFILLMENT

At Ben Gurion airport in Tel-Aviv my cousin and I settled in for a twelve-hour wait.

A young man clutching a colorful bouquet and heart-shaped balloon caught our attention.

“Do you suppose he’s waiting for his arranged-for bride?” asked Kent.

“Doubtful. You’d never see a Hasid in shorts.”

My curiosity piqued. What would she look like? Our hero checked his watch. We checked ours.

At last his pretty sweetheart rushed into his arms. They laughed. They cried. They kissed.

“How romantic.” I sighed. “Dontcha just love a happy ending?”

“Yeah. Now what do we do for the next eleven hours?”

Cuzzin Kent and me at the Western Wall. © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

31 May 2019

Published May 29, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Susan Eames

CLICK THE FROG AND HOP ABOARD!

Genre: Nostalgia

Word Count: 100

CALL ME

I love to sing along with the Marvelettes’ catchy 1962 hit single, “Beechwood 4 5 7 8 9.”  

            Remember letter exchanges in phone numbers? Ours was Willow 2 1774.  For easy access, it was imprinted on the dial. “WI-2…” My brother added “soff” so it read “Wisoff 2-1774.”  

            The telephone has certainly evolved. Before 1954, you relied on the operator from the one and only Telephone Company to reach your party.

            I’m as guilty as the next person of attachment to my cell.   

            Hey, Baby Boomers—just for fun—how many Millennials does it take to dial a rotary phone?

 

          

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

Published April 24, 2019 by rochellewisoff

PHOTO PROMPT © Sandra Crook

Click the Frog to Add Your Link!

Yes, it’s me. Second time around this week. Sometimes ya just gotta take another dip in the Friday Fictioneers pool. 😉 

Genre: For my own a-MUSE-ment

Word Count: 100

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

The gauntlet has been thrown with Neil’s comment, “Why don’t you write something about the future?”

            I could write a dystopian story about how the honeybees are dying causing famine from a lack of pollination. I did.

            I could write a story about our future being ruled by artificial intelligence, but I can’t raise the bar any higher than such authors as Ray Bradbury, Arthur C. Clark or Isaac Asimov already have.

            Lemme give it some thought.

            “Hey Siri, what kind of futuristic story should I write?”

            “George Santayana said, ‘those who cannot remember history are doomed to repeat it.’”   

 

GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT

Published April 14, 2019 by rochellewisoff

This week Pegman is in Portland, Oregon. Your mission is to write up to 150 words inspired by the location. Feel free to use the image supplied with the prompt, or choose your own view of Portland in streetview or photosphere.

Once your piece is polished, share it with others at the link up below. Reading and commenting on others’ work is part of the fun.

Congratulations to Karen for passing her certification test. Did we have any doubts? Thanks to Josh for holding down the fort in her absence. 

Below is the photo I chose from Google

Click Mr. Froggie to join the fun!

Genre: Wishful Fantasy

Word Count: 150

GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT

“Portland is amazing.” Dale snapped a photo. “Especially at night.”

Rochelle breathed in the rain-soaked air, relishing the salty aroma. “What a fabulous way to celebrate Karen’s certification and Dale’s birthday.”

Lish ruffled her fingers through her auburn hair. “Let’s find a place to sit, shall we?”

The ladies found a table at a local tavern. Karen popped the cork of a bottle of champagne.  

Rochelle raised her glass, shifting her gaze from face to face, etching the details of each one into her memory. “To writing challenges and great friends.”

Without warning, the floor rumbled beneath them. Glass shattered.  

The bartender screamed. “Earthquake!”

Karen, Lish and Dale vanished amid the rubble.

“No!” Rochelle cried. “The party’s just starting.”

“Honey, wake up.”

Rochelle rolled over and looked up at her husband. “What day is it?”

“Sunday. Why?”

“Oh crap. It’s April 14th.  I forgot to send a card to Dale.”

12 April 2019

Published April 10, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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Please be considerate of 70 or more participants and keep your story to 100 words. Thank you. 

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Roger Bultot

CLICK THE FROG TO JOIN THE FUN!

Get the Code

This Friday, April 12 is my 7th Anniversary as a Fictioneer!!! I posted my very first story 12 April 2012  

(I didn’t start as the facilitator and I had a lot to learn about reciprocation.)

Genre: Memoir

Word Count: 100

This man influenced me more than I realized all those years ago. 

YOU’RE A GOOD MAN, UNCLE CHET

My drama teacher intimidated me. With meerschaum pipe in hand, he commanded center stage.

            Etched forever in the cloisters of my memory is the day he offered my partner and me a few pointers on our duet for a drama contest. Mr. Landes dropped to his hands and knees. Tongue hanging, he yipped and sniffed.

            It took every ounce of self-control to deliver my lines. “Atta boy, Snoopy, it’s a beautiful day for chasing rabbits.”

            After completing the scene, Chet Landes adjusted his ascot and resumed his dignity, then turned to Kent. “That, sir, is how it’s done. Any questions?”  

 

Note: I’ll count this as a comment. I shared the story with the other half of the duet and this was his response:  “What a sweet … and hilarious … memory!And you better believe I remember this very moment. Mr. Landes playing Snoopy? Hah! Thanks for sharing, Rochelle. This is very special. Kent.”

 

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