17 November 2017

Published November 15, 2017 by rochellewisoff

Our Mantra

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

Please be considerate and keep your stories to 100 words. Thank you.

get the InLinkz code

Genre: Realistic Fiction

Word Count: 100

LAST RITES

Grandma Tollard met Jeannie at the front door, her long grey hair askew. She seized Jeannie’s arm with one bony hand. “Thank you for coming, dear.”

“What happened?”

“I…we, that is…he…he had a heart attack and—”

“Did you call 911?”

“—he’s dead. I called Fr. Jenson.”

Grandma clutched her lace peignoir robe at the neck and led Jeannie to the bedroom. Biting her quivering lip, Jeannie pulled the sheet over her grandfather’s grinning countenance.

She wrapped a comforting arm around her weeping grandmother.

Grandma sniffed. “I’ll never forget his final words to me.”

“What were they?”

“‘Hi-ho Silver!’”

Many thanks to my BFF Jeannie O’Hare for her generosity in allowing me to share her strange but true family stories. Some things just can’t be made up…but they can be embellished.

Jeannie and me

To hear my interview on Impact USA radio last week CLICK HERE

13 October 2017

Published October 11, 2017 by rochellewisoff

My story with a message from last week:

Please be considerate and keep your story to 100 words. Thank you.

Like us on Facebook

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO POMPT © Douglas M. MacIlroy

get the InLinkz code

Genre: Hysterical Fiction

Word Count: 100

BIRD THONG

“Raaaawk! Perry pecked a pack of pimpled pipers.” The bird flapped his feathers and strutted across his perch. “Perry’s pimpled pipers ate pickled peaches. Raaaawk!”

Connie swept bird poo beneath his post, dumped it in the trash, and shook her head. “It’s Peter Piper, you silly goose.”

“Hoooonk! I’m a goose!”

“No, you’re a Mynah bird.”

“Raaaaawk! Mynah place or yours, sexy thing?”

“Don’t! Stop it, you dumb bird.”

“Don’t! Stop! Don’t stop! Don’t stop!”

Outside, her husband’s truck juddered into the driveway. She met him at the door. “Russell Gayer, why can’t we have a dog like normal people?”

Th-th-that’s all folks!

Th-th-that’s all folks!!!

7 July 2017

Published July 5, 2017 by rochellewisoff

Like us on Facebook

Our Mantra

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Claire Sheldon

get the InLinkz code

Genre: Hysterical Fiction

Word Count: 100

GEM OF AN IDEA

Darren scratched his ear with a straightened paperclip. Gina slapped it from his hand. “Stop! You’ll perforate your eardrum!”

“Then I won’t havta hear your nagging.”

“Ohhh, just do your homework.”

“Do your own.” He rolled his eyes. “Sisters.”

“My report’s done.” She stacked three typewritten pages and paper-clipped the corners together. “Consider the lowly paperclip. Know who invented it?”

“Who cares?”

“Some think it was Johan Vaaler, a Norwegian. But it was actually an American, William D. Middlebrook, who even patented the machine to make them in 1899. Whaddya think?”

“I think you need to get a life.”

*

120521_Design_Paperclip_image5_gemads.jpg.CROP.article568-large

120521_Design_Paperclip_image3_patentreplace.jpg.CROP.article568-large

9 June 2017

Published June 7, 2017 by rochellewisoff

Like us on Facebook
Our Mantra

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Sarah Potter

Please be considerate and try to keep your story to 100 words. Thank you.

get the InLinkz code

No doubt everyone has their own version of my story. This came to mind on one such night where I solved all of the world’s troubles and none of my own.

Genre: Somewhat humorous

Word Count: 99

EARWORM

I stare at the ceiling fan, hoping to hypnotize myself into oblivion. Instead my tangled thoughts rage with each rotation.

“Sherry ba-abeee…Sher-er-reee.”

Midnight.

“I’m gonna make a you my-yi-yi-in.”

“Authors are a dime a dozen. Chaim Potok I’ll never be. Loser.”

“Come, come, come out toniiight.”

01:45

Every person who’s ever wronged me comes to mind. I plot revenge.

“We’ll dance the night awaaaay.”

03:30. Numpty o’clock. I should just get up.

Finally my head sinks into the hollow of my pillow and I succumb to a delicious wave of drowse.

“Crap! I forgot to pay the gas bill.”

*

And just because I can. 😈 Buah ha ha!

10 February 2017

Published February 8, 2017 by rochellewisoff

Like us on Facebook

Our Mantra

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

get the InLinkz code

Contrary to the familiar Thoreau quote, this week it’s what I’m looking at that matters in my story.

Genre: Hysterical Fiction

World Count: 100

ETHEL AND CHERYL AND TED AND ALICE

Ethel, Cheryl and Ted strolled along the banks of Egg Lake singing “Alice’s Restaurant” in three-part harmony.

“Walk right in, it’s around the back…,” sang Ethel.

Cheryl chimed in with, “…just a half a mile from the railroad track.”

Ted stopped at the lake’s edge and raised his trusty Canon. “Whoa, what a great shot!”

Ethel frowned. “With all this beautiful scenery why would you take a picture of an old chair in the water?”

“To post on my blog.” Ted snapped another angle. “I never know when that purple-obsessed midget might snag one of my photos for Friday Fictioneers.”

.

Ted and a familiar book. 😉

Every Village Has One – An Interview with Russell Gayer

Published December 2, 2016 by rochellewisoff

Like Benjamin Franklin, Russell Gayer spent most of his adult life in the printing industry, except for three years in which he was a framing carpenter. During that time he’s been honing skills that his wife, Connie, has made sure come in handy ever since.

His collection humorous short stories, THE PERILS OF HEAVY THINKING, is available at Pen-L.com, Barns & Noble.com and Amazon.com.

Russell is the resident humorist of Friday Fictioneers who, every week, manages to pull laughter from the most somber photo prompt.

You may ask (or not ask) what makes Mr. Gayer tick? I did ask. Here are the answers:

What made you decide to be a writer?

I’m not sure it was a conscious choice. I began writing songs and poetry at an early age. I have written over 200 poems. The majority of them were pretty somber or serious stuff. I gave our neighbor, Linda Apple, a book containing some of my poems and short stories about ten years ago, and she invited me to attend a local critique group with her. Several people in that group were published authors who were willing to give of their time to help us “rookies” grow and improve. It was a very nurturing environment and I’m extremely grateful for their guidance and support.

What is your favorite genre? Why?

My favorite genre to write is humor. We live in a very fast-paced world filled with pressure, tension, and stress. People need an escape from that. Sometimes a little silliness is just what the doctor ordered. When people tell me they laughed out loud or snorted coffee out their nose while reading my work, I feel like I’ve touched them in a positive way and perhaps replaced some of that stress with joy, if only briefly.

I’m fascinated by near-death experience books. I find these stories encouraging and supportive of my spiritual beliefs—sort of an affirmation of faith—if you will.

Who is the author who inspires you the most?

My “go to guys” in the humor field are Patrick McManus, Dave Barry, and David Sedaris. Sedaris is more subtle in his approach to humor, but still very funny. I’m also a huge fan of Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder.

In addition to enjoying the story, I study the structure of their work. Their characters, how they set up a scene, use of dialogue and narration, any little thing that can help me become a better story teller.

How often do you write?

I write something every day. Weekdays, I get up at 5 am and write for an hour. It could be on a story, or reading and commenting on blogs. When I go hunting, I take a pad and pen and write in the woods. Some of my most productive periods have occurred in the woods.

I am also what people in my writing group call a “Pantser,” meaning someone who doesn’t diagram out a story before they write, but simply flies by the seat of their pants.

Do you have any major projects in the works?

I’ve been working on ONE VILLAGE SHORT OF AN IDIOT for over a year now. This title was originally used in a Friday Flash Fiction post in October 2015. When I decided to turn the concept into a longer piece, I envisioned something in the neighborhood of 5,000 words. As of today, we’re at 29,000+ and counting. The characters have taken over the story on numerous occasions and created scenes that I never anticipated or would have thought of on my own. It’s been a real blast to write, as I never know what’s going to happen next.

What are your writing goals for the future?

I have a dozen other short stories lying around impatiently waiting for me to finish the Idiot saga. Hopefully, I’ll wrap that one up and hand them all off to Pen-L Publishing shortly after New Year’s. I was hoping for an April Fools book release, but that doesn’t seem too realistic at the moment.

What advice would you give other writers?

Write what you love. Be observant and study the work of others. Hone and polish your craft. Join a critique group and find a beta reader who will provide open and honest feedback. Attend writers’ conferences and rub elbows with published authors.

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes.

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is… the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” — Mark Twain

(This quote copied from fellow OWL member Lori Ericson’s blog) https://loriericson.com/2016/09/18/every-word-is-a-choice-and-opportunity/

5 September 2014

Published September 3, 2014 by rochellewisoff

The following photo is the PHOTO PROMPT. Let it ignite the flames of your imagination. Then, tell me a story in one-hundred words or less.

PHOTO PROMPT -Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

get the InLinkz code

Genre: Realistic Fiction

Word Count: 100

FIRE IN THE HOLE

Two months ago my husband bought a dehydrator, a nifty gadget that reduces ten pounds of apples to less than a pound of mummified slices in a matter of hours.

“Think of the money we’ll save,” said Jeff.

“Seriously?” I rolled my eyes.

The final straw broke when he dehydrated jalapeños.

A short time later the dog begged to be let out. With my howling baby tucked under one arm and a handkerchief over my stinging nose I blindly kicked open the front door.

It took a week to fumigate the house. It’ll take longer to let Jeff back in.

16 November 2012

Published November 14, 2012 by rochellewisoff

Every Friday authors from around the world gather here to share their 100-words based on the photo prompt and offer constructive crit and encouragement to each other. This creates a wonderful opportunity for free reading of very fresh fiction! Readers are encouraged to comment as well.

Writers:

Depending on your preference, leave your blog link in the comment section or use the linkz tool (or both ;)). My story follows for those who’d rather not read it before writing their own.
Please make sure your link works. There were a couple last week that didn’t. If you find that you’ve made an error you can delete by clicking the little red ‘x’ that should appear under your icon. Then re-enter your URL.
If your blog requires multiple steps for visitors to leave comments, see if you can simplify it. If you can disable CAPTCHA –that wavy line of unreadable letters and numbers– please for the sake of our writerly nerves, disable it. It’s frustrating to have to leave a DNA sample, your blood type and your shoe size just to make a comment. (So I exaggerate. But hopefully you get the picture).
Challenge yourself to keep stories to 100 words. (There’s no penalty for going over or under).

*********

HAPPY NOVEMBER BIRTHDAYS TO FICTIONEERS:

Lora Mitchell – 13

Charles Williams – 14

Madison Woods – 15

Russell Gayer – 16

(If I missed you let me know. ;))

*************

THIS WEEK’S PHOTO PROMPT

: Copyright-Sean Fallon

get the InLinkz code

***********

Thanks to Sean Fallon for his intriguing photo. This particular song served as an inspiration and springboard to:

A WELL-ORDERED LIFE

Prototypical milquetoast, Benjamin Parker wore bow ties and kept to himself.

Three days of no-call, no-show to work passed before anyone missed him enough to call 911.

When we broke into his immaculate apartment we found his pajama-clad body in bed. No sign of foul play.

Jars filled with things like batteries, safety pins, wine corks and matchbooks lined cabinets and counter-tops.

“Quite the collector. Wonder if he jarred his tighty whities.” I flung open the closet door and choked. “What the—?”

In single file on the top shelf human heads floated in name-tagged gallon jars.

.

FRIDAY’S BUS

Published October 18, 2012 by rochellewisoff

It’s with mixed emotions I post my story inspired by Ron Pruitt’s photo prompt. This is Madison’s last week as Friday Fictioneers leader and my last week as one just of the gang. She will be one tough act to follow. Click here for other FF stories. Enjoy!

My offering this week is a tribute to Madison and our diverse global community that I hope continues to grow and flourish.

*Note: I don’t think I can put the linkz tool on my blog without upgrading. So it looks like we’ll be back to posting our blog addresses here and in our comments. I’m open to any and all feedback or instruction on this.

****

copyright-Ron Pruitt

Apprehensions whelmed the new driver. How could she steer this behemoth? Her feet barely reached the gas pedal.

A lithe maiden with pointed ears and iridescent wings floated past her. Next was an imposing man whose black silk cape skimmed the floor. One by one, diverse passengers stowed their baggage and found their seats.

“Welcome,” said the last in line. “I’m Russell.”

Warmed by his congenial smile she tried not to stare at his plastic clown nose and grasped his offered hand.

Zzzzzzt! His joy buzzer sent shockwaves to her shoulder.

He chortled. “Are we there yet?”

EDIBLE COMPLEX

Published September 16, 2012 by rochellewisoff

Over twenty years as an on-again off-again professional cake decorator I’ve been asked to do some interesting things with the edible media. A few of these creations will forever hold a fond place in my memory.

One such customer was a young woman who wanted a cake to celebrate her son’s potty training success. While I’ve decorated cakes for birthdays, baby showers, wedding showers, graduations and monumental achievements, I can honestly say that this one is a first. Nonetheless, it is a milestone. Why not commemorate it?