Humor

All posts in the Humor category

Weekend Writing Prompt – Downpour

Published May 23, 2020 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it Sammi’s Comment Section.

Word Prompt

Downpour

Challenge

We hope history doesn’t repeat itself. 88 words on the button, not including title.

I HEARD GOD LAUGHING

Although overcast, no rain befell us Saturday morning. Excited energy prevailed over the park full of local artists whose crafts ranged from jewelry and ceramics to paintings and photography. I hoped this two-day fair would be as successful for me as last year.

Patrons crowded my tent.

“Beautiful work.

“Magnificent watercolor technique.”

Sprinkles gave way to downpour. I tried not to let it dampen my spirits.

That was then, this is now. I fill out the application.

Nothing can stand in my way—except for, maybe, a plague.

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Weekend Writing Prompt – Fade

Published May 16, 2020 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s Comment Section.

Counting on my fingers, to make sure I had the right number of syllables…I give you Haiku

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Flower petals fade

Shriveling blossoms will fall

The artist preserves.

(Realizes she has seven words left over.)

Paradise Misplaced

Published May 2, 2020 by rochellewisoff

Today Pegman ventures to the Dominican Republic. The island is rich in culture and heritage, chock full of wonderful possibilities for the alert storyteller. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to wander around until you find something that inspires you to write up to 150 words, then link your post using the blue frog below. Remember that reading and commenting on fellow contributors’ work is part of the experience.

Do your best, and have fun! Thanks to Josh and Karen for hosting.

Genre: Fiction (probably someone’s reality)

Word Count: 150

This story stands alone, but is also a sequel to my Friday Fictioneers offering this week. Couldn’t help following Mr. and Mrs.Hap 😉

PARADISE MISPLACED

Basking in the ocean breeze, Gretchen stood on the balcony of their hotel suite gazing at the clear blue Caribbean waters. Although her marriage to Jared had a rocky beginning with him blowing a rod on the way to their wedding, she had no doubt the honeymoon would be perfect.

“La Rupiblica Dominica. I can’t wait to swim. I’m glad I took español in school. Didja notice how the waiter smiled when I ordered our dinner in his language?”

Behind her, Jared playfully nibbled her neck “That chicken dish was scrumptious but not as tasty as my bride.”

Gretchen’s stomach gurgled. “Speaking of food.”

“You’re looking a little green, darlin. I’ll go buy some 7-Up to settle your tummy.”

A cramp seized her. The floor tilted as she made a mad dash to the commode.

In the other room, Jared slammed drawers and wailed. “Hells bells, someone’s nabbed my wallet!”  

***

*Note here’s a LINK to the story I wrote when Pegman visited the Dominican Republic two years ago. I almost reposted and then decided not to.

1 May 2020

Published April 29, 2020 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

Genre: Romance

Word Count: 100

JILTED AND SCORNED

The four-tiered cake, a culinary masterpiece dripping with elegant flowers graced the table—untouched.

Gretchen stared out the window. “It’s not supposed to be like this.”

What happened to Jared? Why would he abandon her?

Outside a man banged on the door. Dripping hair hung in his dirty face.

Perfect ending to a perfectly horrid day. Damned vagrant.

“Go away!” She hollered.

“Gretchen, please.”

Her stomach flipflopped. He stumbled through the doorway, spattering her Gucci gown.  

“Engine blew—” he sputtered between muddy kisses “—nearly drowned—hiked from—Good God, I love you.”

“Shut up and marry me now.”

*

*

*

Thanks to Dale for permission to render her beautiful photo. Prints and note cards available. 😉

***

Not four tiered but one of my favorite cakes from my decorating days.

 

Weekend Writing Prompt – Fabric

Published April 26, 2020 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s Comment Section.

When I figure out how to keep the machine threaded I’ll finish hemming my jeans.

NEEDLES AND THUMBS

I referred to it as home wreckanomics with good reason. I hated cleaning and I was a disaster in the kitchen.  At twelve, I’d already set my sights on, one day, becoming a professional artist. I’d never be Suzie Homemaker.

I only took the class because seventh graders were offered two of three “electives”—music, homemaking for girls and shop for boys. No art class until eighth grade. Boo. Hiss.

I still have nightmares of trying to make baked Alaska for a class presentation. What? You don’t dump sugar into the egg whites all at once?

Then came sewing. We were to make simple shifts. I chose a white cotton duck fabric with a red, white and blue nautical theme. I actually wore it once or twice before it mysteriously disappeared.

The author. The artist. The dress.

Weekend Writing Prompt – Obsolete

Published April 18, 2020 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s Comment Section.

Summing it up in 24 words. 

Older?

Yes.

Wiser?

Questionable.

Exploring possibilities

At my keyboard

At my easel

A dreamer?

Always and forever.

Obsolete?

Qui, moi?

Not by a longshot!

Weekend Writing Prompt – Keepsake

Published April 4, 2020 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s Comment Section.

*

*

 

Today I’ll downsize.

With a large trash bag at my disposal I dive into the sea of clutter—useless junk—only to rediscover heirlooms—handwritten notes, children’s drawings, a sixty-year-old dreidel—keepsake after keepsake.  A sea of treasures and memories. I cannot part with them.

I’ll downsize tomorrow.

Maybe.

In case you wonder what a 60 year old dreidel looks like – It’s a piece of plastic that might have set the synagogue back less than a cent a piece to give each child at the Hanukkah party. To me a priceless keepsake.

3 April 2020

Published April 1, 2020 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Douglas M. MacIlroy

Click the Frogs to join the fun!

Genre: Hysterical Faction

Word Count: 100

HASHTAG-GIMME-A-BREAK

Ah those befuddled moments between waking and the first swallow of coffee. Anything’s possible, isn’t it? Or so it seemed this morning when I turned on my iPad to find Keanu Reeves followed me on Twitter. Fame had found me. I followed him back.

A few minutes later, I received his private message. “Good day, beautiful, your face looks so familiar. Are you an actress?”

Puh-lease. I was born on a day, but not yesterday.  

I went to his page @John_wink. Wink?

Hard to believe a star of Keanu’s ilk only had twenty-seven followers.

Unfollow. Block. Report spam. Bye-bye fame.

Weekend Writing Prompt -Continuity

Published March 28, 2020 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s Comment Section.

JUGGLING ACT

I work on my current WIP only to be sidetracked by a blog challenge or to add a detail to my painting. Mustn’t forget my beta reading. No continuity for this multitasker. Life is grand!

  • WIP – Work In Progress

KEYSTROKES

Published March 25, 2020 by rochellewisoff

Another idea struck me this morning and decided why not double dip? This is what happens when a person wakes before 04:00 with her mind on spin cycle. A hearty thank you to my mother who sat me down with my brother’s Gregg textbook and insisted I learn to type. I argued, “What does an artist need with typing?” 

PHOTO PROMPT © Jeff Arnold

Genre: Questionable

Word Count: 100

KEYSTROKES

Q is for quill which is what Charles Dickens used to write his stories.

W is for the white-out I would need were I using a manual machine.   

E is for happy endings.

R is for ruminations, renderings and rebuttals. It’s also the first letter in my name.

T is for typewriter. Imagine writing a novel in longhand. Hats off to Christopher Latham Sholes.

Y is for yesteryear when life was simpler. Was it really?”

Rochelle studied her brightly-lit desktop screen. “Not so sure about this one.” She tapped the delete key. “Or maybe…” She hit CTRL Z. “Viva technology.”

Could I avoid history? I think not. CLICK HERE.

The reason Jeff took the picture. 😉

 

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