Humor

All posts in the Humor category

29 March 2019

Published March 27, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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As always, please be considerate of your fellow Fictioneers and keep your stories to 100 words. (Title is not included in the word count.)  Many thanks. 

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT© Sandra Crook

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Genre: Hysterical Faction

Word Count: 100

STORY THREADS

Am I the only one who has found learning the current rules of writing ruins the enjoyment of reading? Suddenly, I find myself editing. Oh dear. I shouldn’t have started that last sentence with ‘suddenly.’ As Mark Twain is credited with saying, “If you see an adverb, kill it.”

What about disembodied body parts? Don’t tell me you’ve never noticed them. 

“His eyes traveled about the room.” Can you see them rolling along the walls?

How about, “Her nose ran to the scent”? Disturbing at best.

“The boy’s hand waved vigorously.” All I can say to that one is, “Duck!”

WEEKEND WRITING PROMPT – IMPERVIOUS

Published March 24, 2019 by rochellewisoff

The challenge is simple: each week you will be given an exact number of words you can use to write a poem or piece of prose.  You can use any format or style you like; go wherever your inspiration takes you.  

Thank you, Sammi

Does the name Kenner ring a bell? If you grew up—or had a child—between 1960 and 2000 it should.  

Remember Stretch Armstrong? You could tie him in knots, stomp on him and extend his body from Kansas City to St. Louis. What Kenner advertisers never bothered to tell you was how the impervious super hero didn’t stand a chance against a four-year-old boy and his comrade.

I’m not sure how the indestructible paladin met his Waterloo. I can only tell you what it’s like to scrape ten pounds of gooey innards from the basement floor. R.I.P., Stretch.  

A DAY IN THE LIFE

Published March 9, 2019 by rochellewisoff

This week Pegman is still wandering around in the Northern Hemisphere. However this time Pegman visits Greenland for the first time.

Your mission is to write up to 150 words inspired by this week’s location. Feel free to use the photo supplied with the prompt or search for your own. Be warned–you won’t find much in the way of streetview or photospheres here.

Once your piece is polished, share it with others using the Linkup below. Reading and commenting on others’ work is part of the fun!


Thanks to Karen and Josh for hosting the challenge. 

A DAY IN THE LIFE

So, it’s Saturday morning. Like every Saturday morning for the past two years, there’s an email in my inbox from Karen or Josh with the location of this week’s What Pegman Saw Blog Challenge.

I laugh at a picture of a flock of penguins on the ice preparing to swim. Surely there’s a story in that. I could write an amusing tale of anthropomorphic birds at a royal ball in black and white tuxedos. After all, talking cerebral animals worked well for Deborah Howe in her hilarious children’s book, “Bunnicula.”

After thinking it over I decide against penguins. Magnificent landscapes aren’t inspiriting me. In the end, I’ve decided to go with my first thought. I couldn’t help myself.

In the movie “A Hard Day’s Night,” which followed a fictitious day in the life of the Beatles, an interviewer asked John Lennon, “How did you find America.”

“Turn left at Greenland.”

*

*

*

SEASHORE – Weekend Word Prompt

Published March 9, 2019 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in the comments.

Word Prompt

Thanks to Sammi Cox for the challenge. 😀

A little reminiscence . 

 

My parents took me to Miami Beach the year I turned fourteen.

My first trip to the seashore.

However…

Puberty wreaked havoc

Hormones raged.

Everything was wrong. I didn’t have a Twiggy figure.

My hair required constant ironing.

Nonetheless…

The sea calmed me.

            The ocean stretched before me.

                        I dipped my toe in the water.

                                    As the future beckoned.

 

A picture my brother took of 14 year old me being very unhappy with myself.

 

1 March 2019

Published February 27, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Jean L. Hays

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I hope the new format for the inLinkz works. Just click on the froggy.  I’ve put the update off for a month. Don’t you love updates? I think I’ve done this right. I’m still resisting the new WordPress dashboard. 😉 In any event, after wrestling with the new inLinkz format, here’s my ‘story’ for this week.

Genre: Hysterical Fiction

Word Count: 100

DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?

“It’s not what you look at that matters…,” said Sandra.

“…it’s what you see,” said Shrawley.

“Our Fairy Blog Mother posts it almost every week like it’s highly significant or something.” Russell repositioned his clown nose while his pooch, Liza Jane, warbled a tune. “Ask Louisa May Alcott Wisoff-Fields yourself.”

“You yanks are so obtuse,” fumed Ali. “Don’t you see the flying saucer over the market?”

“Pfft!” Dale rolled her eyes. “Give it up.”  

Rochelle’s frustration mounted. “The prompt is a mere suggestion. Use your imaginations, please.”

“Oooh. Now I see it.” Russell pointed to the Coors sign. “Bottoms up.”   

 

HORIZON

Published February 9, 2019 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.

I find the word and varying word counts a refreshing challenge. This week the word “Horizon” took me down a different avenue without a GPS. Who’d ever heard of those in 1980? We didn’t even have a CB Radio yet. “Kick ‘er back. Come on, now.”

Many thanks to Sammi Cox who posts this prompt challenge every week.

Our 1980 Plymouth Horizon was a lovely shade of mauve with four on the floor.

“Left foot clutch, right foot gas,” my husband said. “It will become second nature.”

I did learn with a few bounces, lurches and pops along the way.

Fast forward thirty-nine years.

Every time my precious 6-speed’s in the shop it happens. Did you know loaner cars never come with standard transmission?

Both feet hit the brakes. It’s second Nature.

***

Fields Family 1980 © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

8 February 2019

Published February 6, 2019 by rochellewisoff

 

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As always, please be considerate of your fellow Fictioneers and keep your stories to 100 words. (Title is not included in the word count.)  Many thanks. 

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Anshu Bhojnagarwala

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When I saw this picture, I decided it was the perfect time to rerun one of my favorites. Some of you might remember this one from four and a half years ago. 

Genre: Hysterical Fiction

Word Count: 100

FIRE IN THE HOLE

            Two months ago my husband bought a dehydrator, a nifty gadget that reduces ten pounds of apples to less than a pound of mummified slices in a matter of hours.

            “Think of the money we’ll save,” said Jeff. 

            “Seriously?” I rolled my eyes.

             The final straw came when he dehydrated jalapeños.

            A short time later the dog begged to be let out. With my howling baby tucked under one arm and a handkerchief over my stinging nose I blindly kicked open the front door.

            It took a week to fumigate the house. It’ll take longer to let Jeff back in.

                       

HELTER-SKELTER

Published January 26, 2019 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in the comments.

Thanks to Sammi Cox for the challenge.

HELTER-SKELTER

When I decorated retirement cakes in the bakery I dreamt of ocean cruises or relaxing strolls in the park.

Three years ago, I walked out of said bakery for good. I don’t miss the helter-skelter of appeasing fussy customers. Nor do I miss genuflecting before managers who expect the case to be filled with twelve dessert cakes, fifteen flowered sheets and thirty dozen cupcakes in five hours—by one decorator. 

Retirement has given me more time to devote to painting and writing, to facilitate a blog challenge, enter art shows, sign books and serve on a writers’ league board. I’ve no complaints, mind you. This kind of helter-skelter is my passion.

 

 

 

 

18 January 2018

Published January 16, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

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Ever have one of those weeks where the prompt doesn’t spark a single viable idea? No thesaurus in the world can help. We all have them. Here’s the result of my brain freeze. 

Genre: Hysterical Fiction

Word Count: 100

STREAM OF UNCONSCIOUSNESS

To Whom it May Concern,

I cannot write today. My imaginary friends won’t speak to me. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Mine are broken. All the duct tape in the world won’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again. The face in the mirror is blank. No reflection on you, of course. Have I reached 100 words? Nope. Thirty-three and a third to go. That’s an LP you know. They were vinyl CD’s back in the days before stereo was king. And nothing rhymes with orange. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Shalom,

Rochelle

4 January 2019

Published January 2, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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As always, please be considerate of your fellow Fictioneers and keep your stories to 100 words. (Title is not included in the word count.)  Many thanks. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Russell Gayer

get the InLinkz code

Genre: Historical Friction

Word Count: 100

PILLAR OF FAITH

“Hurry, wife. The city’s crumbling around us.” The aged patriarch bent to fasten his sandals, and straightened with a groan. “Oy. I’m too old for this.”

            “Do you prefer the blue tunic or the beige?” She held them up. “I think the blue brings out my eyes.”

            “Woman! Are you meshuga? An angel warns us of the incoming wrath of God and you’re concerned with clothes?”

            “No fashion sense.” She rolled her eyes. “You really believe this judgement mishegoss, don’t you?”

            “Don’t you?”

            “Angel shmangel.” She shrugged. “Lot, my love. I take everything you say with a grain of salt.”  

*For those unfamiliar with Old Testament Bible stories, when God delivered Lot and his family from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, the angel had instructed them not to look back. Lot’s wife did and turned into a pillar of salt. 

***

ANNOUNCING:

My Coffee Table book A STONE FOR THE JOURNEY is now available on Amazon KINDLE, Paperback or Hardcover.  Hardcover is also available at Barnes & Noble.com

I’m not crazy about the formatting job they did on the Kindle, but it’s all there. 😉 I’ve yet to see the paperback version so I reserve opinion. Nor do I understand why the paperback and hardcover are the same price. 

 

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