Humor

All posts in the Humor category

25 October 2019

Published October 23, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Jean L. Hays

Kermit

Hi-ho! Give us a little click. 

Genre: Hysterical Fiction

Word Count: 100

PIN MONEY

“Drat. This is my favorite skirt.” Dale noted her unraveled hem. “I left my sewing kit at home.”

Rochelle dug through her purse. “Here you go.” She handed a safety pin to her friend. “Temporary fix.”

“Thanks.”

“Ever wonder who invented the safety pin?”

“No. Do you?”

“Glad you asked.” Rochelle grinned. “William Hunt, a little-known inventor from Martinsburg, New York, created it from 20 centimeters of wire in 1849 so he could pay off a $15 debt. He later sold the patent for a mere $400.”

“Oy!” Dale rolled her eyes.  “I just had to ask Encyclopedia  Britannica Wisoff-Fields.”

CLICK TO KNOW MORE

  • Note…Where did 7 years go? 7 years ago I was working on my first novel, employed as a cake decorator in a local grocery store and had just begun to write for Friday Fictioneers. I loved the feedback and meeting other writers around the world. Sandra Crook, Russell Gayer and Ted Strutz were among the first to welcome me. I had only been an FF’r for 6 months when Friday Fictioneers creator, Madison Woods decided it was time to move onto other things. I was devastated. Coerced by my husband and two other friends, I begged Madison to let me take the helm. Click Here to check out my first story as facilitator. Thank you to those who participate, reciprocate and have become great friends! ❤

27 September 2019

Published September 25, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Na’ama Yehuda

Frog delightfully rendered by Keith Hillman

Genre: Hysterical Friction

Word Count: 100

CRY OR LAUGH?

Despite prognosticators’ predictions for probable precipitation, we preferred not to pass up a potentially profitable fair.

Although overcast, no rain befell us Saturday morning. Excited energy prevailed over the park full of local artists whose crafts ranged from jewelry and ceramics to paintings and photography.

Patrons crowded my tent.

“Beautiful work.

“Magnificent watercolor technique.”

Sprinkles gave way to downpour. The crowds dispersed.

We did our best to shield my vulnerable artwork.

Sales from a few bedraggled diehards kept the day from being a total bust.  

I shrugged and grinned at my damp-around-the-edges husband. “Not exactly our finest hour, is it?”

***

The rain was quite heavy at times. The tent next to ours collapsed on the artists and their ceramics. The park was a virtual swamp. Although some came back for day 2 on Sunday, many of us did not. Below are a few pictures of the ill-fated event.

 

30 August 2019

Published August 28, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Linda Kreger 

CLICK ON FROGGY AND HOP ABOARD 

Genre: Hysterical Faction

Word Count: 100

ERAT CHIROGRAPHUM DECRETI

            For Jeffrey, trying to learn Latin was somewhat akin to pushing a cart sideways—uphill. Verb tenses made him tense. Nouns didn’t compute.

            He stared at his teacher’s one word comment scrawled across his most recent quiz. “Mr. Bland, what does ‘tennible’ mean?”

            Mr. Bland leaned back in his chair. “Let’s explore the Latin roots. ‘To have. To hold.’ Teneo, I have. Tenet, you havefrom that root we arrive at ‘tenable—capable of being held.’”

            Jeffrey presented his paper. “Why did you write it on my test?”

            Taking it from the boy, Mr. Bland frowned. “That’s not tenable. That’s ‘terrible.’”

 

My brother Jeffrey and his wife Debbie.

*The title is Latin for Handwriting. The story itself is not my own, but my brother’s. It was too good not to share. 

23 August 2019

Published August 21, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

So I’m not blue. Click on me anyway. 

Genre: Realistic Fiction

Word Count: 100

CHEMISTRY

“He has a great personality,” said her brother Bart.

Twenty pounds overweight with no prospects, Denise agreed to a blind date.  

Grant was a lulu—kinky orange hair and squinted eyes behind thick horn-rim glasses.  

He fidgeted and checked his watch. “We ordered dinner an hour ago.”

“Yeah, I’m wasting away to a ton.”

“Stop it. You’re just right.”

Denise’s cheeks warmed. “Really?”

“And pretty.”

She relaxed. They chatted away like two old friends until their orders came.  

“Filet of dinosaur.” She skewered her steak. “Yum.”   

He flashed a dazzling smile. “Bart didn’t lie. You do have a great personality.”

 

16 August 2019

Published August 14, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Jan Wayne Fields

Click on the Frog! 

Genre: Hysterical Friction

Word Count: 100

ALL THE AMENITIES

            May 1984. We couldn’t wait to take advantage of our newly-purchased lot in a nearby recreational development. So we packed our children-plus-one and everything we needed for a successful camping trip.

            Sometime in the night the soothing buzz of locusts gave way to thunder and driving rain that demolished our tents.

            Thanks to the help of a sympathetic grounds attendant, our excursion ended in a half-finished bathroom with three bedraggled boys and one engorged mother whose inconsolable baby chose the worst time to wean himself.

            Shivering, I muttered to my grumpy husband. “Someday we’ll look back at this and laugh.”

Weekend Writing Prompt – AMATEUR

Published July 27, 2019 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s comment section.

Word Prompt

Amateur

Challenge

My friend lists my achievements in wide-eyed wonder. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

While it’s true I’ve had some good reviews, my books aren’t on the Times bestseller list.

Despite sales, with each new painting, I still feel like an amateur.

And, please, don’t ask me about my organizational skills.

Weekend Writing Prompt – GRIMACE

Published July 13, 2019 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s comment section.

Word Prompt

Grimace

Challenge

As usual, with the weekend writing prompt, I wrote the first thing that popped into my head. 😉 I couldn’t help myself. If English is your first language…

Bad grammar. Don’t it make you grimace? Don’t it sit your teeth on edge? Me and my writer friends seen it over and over. They is just as upset about it as me.

 

 

LOST IN TRANSLATION

Published June 23, 2019 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend.  How you use the prompt is up to you.  Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like.  Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise.  If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s comment section.

Word Prompt

Translation

Challenge

The following is an updated flash fiction I posted in Friday Fictioneers a few years ago. It just seemed to fit the prompt. My title is part of the word count in this case. 😉 

LOST IN TRANSLATION

A stunning contradiction of cropped black hair, bronzed skin and sea-foam blue eyes, Aggie McKewen’s face reflected her Inuit and Scottish parentage.

Every Saturday Keith, who worked at his uncle’s café in Seward, Alaska, served her grilled salmon in shy silence. He longed to speak to her but she was as deaf as a fencepost. 

He enrolled in night classes, determined to learn to express his feelings in sign language.

After six weeks of diligent practice, he felt ready to ask her out and signed his invitation.  

With a voiceless giggle she snatched his pen and order pad. There she wrote, “I’d love to but why did you call me a tampon?”

At a restaurant in Alaska – Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

 

21 June 2019

Published June 19, 2019 by rochellewisoff

Dear Friday Fictioneers,

While I realize my page is FF central where you come for the prompt and instructions,the lower half of the page is also my comment section. In light of this, I have a favor to ask of all of you. When you have an issue such as problems with linking in the inLinkz or have a technical question, please direct these to my email runtshell@gmail.com. I check my email as often as I look at my comments (which I also appreciate greatly). Thank you for your consideration.

Shalom,

Rochelle

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Click the Frog and Hop on board. 

Genre: Recent Memoir

Word Count: 100

SWEET FULFILLMENT

At Ben Gurion airport in Tel-Aviv my cousin and I settled in for a twelve-hour wait.

A young man clutching a colorful bouquet and heart-shaped balloon caught our attention.

“Do you suppose he’s waiting for his arranged-for bride?” asked Kent.

“Doubtful. You’d never see a Hasid in shorts.”

My curiosity piqued. What would she look like? Our hero checked his watch. We checked ours.

At last his pretty sweetheart rushed into his arms. They laughed. They cried. They kissed.

“How romantic.” I sighed. “Dontcha just love a happy ending?”

“Yeah. Now what do we do for the next eleven hours?”

Cuzzin Kent and me at the Western Wall. © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

31 May 2019

Published May 29, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit. 

PHOTO PROMPT © Susan Eames

CLICK THE FROG AND HOP ABOARD!

Genre: Nostalgia

Word Count: 100

CALL ME

I love to sing along with the Marvelettes’ catchy 1962 hit single, “Beechwood 4 5 7 8 9.”  

            Remember letter exchanges in phone numbers? Ours was Willow 2 1774.  For easy access, it was imprinted on the dial. “WI-2…” My brother added “soff” so it read “Wisoff 2-1774.”  

            The telephone has certainly evolved. Before 1954, you relied on the operator from the one and only Telephone Company to reach your party.

            I’m as guilty as the next person of attachment to my cell.   

            Hey, Baby Boomers—just for fun—how many Millennials does it take to dial a rotary phone?

 

          

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