SPAM JAM

Published December 8, 2019 by rochellewisoff

I’m reasonably certain I’m not the only blogger who takes issue with spam. If you’re a Word Press blogger like me, I strongly recommend a daily sweep of your spam folder. Akisment does a wonderful job of keeping these unrelated “comments” from showing up on my post, but there are days I find up to 20 of them in my spam folder. Not to mention that, on occasion, valid comments find their way there, too.

I seriously do not understand what spammers hope to accomplish by littering my posts with links to porn sites or lengthy paragraphs that make no sense whatsoever.

Here’s one from this morning:

Do I need to explain why I can’t read this? Oh wait, I can read “ero-videos” toward the bottom of the comment.

I do not like spam, Sam I Am. I do not like it with toast and jam. Wham, bang, no thank you, ma’am.

Here are a couple from this afternoon. (Yes, I checked it twice today…10 this morning and 7 this afternoon.)

It’s nice to know this person loves junk food. But I’ve no clue what this might have to do with the post which featured a flash fiction about my brother’s difficulties with Latin in high school. CLICK HERE to read that story if you wish. 😉

My brother Jeffrey and his wife Debbie.

Then here’s this next little goody:

Of course I don’t read Russian either. Then I noticed the translate option at the top of the page.

Just what I want to see, right? NOT! Another thing I’ve noticed over the past few years of policing my spam folder is the majority of these annoyances show up on my November 26, 2016 post. I’ve never been able to figure the reasoning behind it, if there’s any reason to be had.

The post in question was a piece I did for Friday Fictioneers expounding on my great love for the color purple. CLICK HERE if you’d like to read.

For more on this nuisance, my fellow blogger, Dale Rogerson, shared some of her thoughts recently.

WEEKEND WRITING PROMPT – MORPHOLOGY

Published November 30, 2019 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend. How you use the prompt is up to you. Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like. Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise. If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s Comment Section.

GRAMMATACIDE 101

Thank John Garland for inventing the English dictionary and Al Gore for the internet. Without them I would or I’d never’ve known about morphology or free (bad) and bound morphemes (badly). Hence, this lunacy might’ve been unreadable.

8 November 2019

Published November 6, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Ronda Del Boccio

I’m not blue but I will be if you don’t click me to join the fun. 😉

Genre: Histrionic Fiction

Word Count: 100

A WRINKLE IN TIME

Elise wound a chestnut curl around her index finger and frowned. “Time for a little Miss Clairol.” Twisting her lips into a wry grin, she tilted her head. “Maybe I’ll just dye it purple.”

After she brushed her teeth, she cleansed her face and applied her foundation repeating the Mary Kay mantra she had learned years ago, “When you pat you place, when you rub you remove.”

The morning ritual continued with eye-shadow and mascara.

She gave her lips a coat of color and studied her reflection over the sink. “How the hell did my mother get in my mirror?”

*

My mother didn’t really look like this. 😉

25 October 2019

Published October 23, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Jean L. Hays

Hi-ho! Give us a little click.

Genre: Hysterical Fiction

Word Count: 100

PIN MONEY

“Drat. This is my favorite skirt.” Dale noted her unraveled hem. “I left my sewing kit at home.”

Rochelle dug through her purse. “Here you go.” She handed a safety pin to her friend. “Temporary fix.”

“Thanks.”

“Ever wonder who invented the safety pin?”

“No. Do you?”

“Glad you asked.” Rochelle grinned. “William Hunt, a little-known inventor from Martinsburg, New York, created it from 20 centimeters of wire in 1849 so he could pay off a $15 debt. He later sold the patent for a mere $400.”

“Oy!” Dale rolled her eyes. “I just had to ask Encyclopedia Britannica Wisoff-Fields.”

CLICK TO KNOW MORE

Note…Where did 7 years go? 7 years ago I was working on my first novel, employed as a cake decorator in a local grocery store and had just begun to write for Friday Fictioneers. I loved the feedback and meeting other writers around the world. Sandra Crook, Russell Gayer and Ted Strutz were among the first to welcome me. I had only been an FF’r for 6 months when Friday Fictioneers creator, Madison Woods decided it was time to move onto other things. I was devastated. Coerced by my husband and two other friends, I begged Madison to let me take the helm. Click Here to check out my first story as facilitator. Thank you to those who participate, reciprocate and have become great friends! ❤

27 September 2019

Published September 25, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Na’ama Yehuda

Frog delightfully rendered by Keith Hillman

Genre: Hysterical Friction

Word Count: 100

CRY OR LAUGH?

Despite prognosticators’ predictions for probable precipitation, we preferred not to pass up a potentially profitable fair.

Although overcast, no rain befell us Saturday morning. Excited energy prevailed over the park full of local artists whose crafts ranged from jewelry and ceramics to paintings and photography.

Patrons crowded my tent.

“Beautiful work.

“Magnificent watercolor technique.”

Sprinkles gave way to downpour. The crowds dispersed.

We did our best to shield my vulnerable artwork.

Sales from a few bedraggled diehards kept the day from being a total bust.

I shrugged and grinned at my damp-around-the-edges husband. “Not exactly our finest hour, is it?”

***

The rain was quite heavy at times. The tent next to ours collapsed on the artists and their ceramics. The park was a virtual swamp. Although some came back for day 2 on Sunday, many of us did not. Below are a few pictures of the ill-fated event.

30 August 2019

Published August 28, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

PHOTO PROMPT © Linda Kreger

CLICK ON FROGGY AND HOP ABOARD

Genre: Hysterical Faction

Word Count: 100

ERAT CHIROGRAPHUM DECRETI

For Jeffrey, trying to learn Latin was somewhat akin to pushing a cart sideways—uphill. Verb tenses made him tense. Nouns didn’t compute.

He stared at his teacher’s one word comment scrawled across his most recent quiz. “Mr. Bland, what does ‘tennible’ mean?”

Mr. Bland leaned back in his chair. “Let’s explore the Latin roots. ‘To have. To hold.’ Teneo, I have. Tenet, you have…from that root we arrive at ‘tenable—capable of being held.’”

Jeffrey presented his paper. “Why did you write it on my test?”

Taking it from the boy, Mr. Bland frowned. “That’s not tenable. That’s ‘terrible.’”

My brother Jeffrey and his wife Debbie.

*The title is Latin for Handwriting. The story itself is not my own, but my brother’s. It was too good not to share.

23 August 2019

Published August 21, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

So I’m not blue. Click on me anyway.

Genre: Realistic Fiction

Word Count: 100

CHEMISTRY

“He has a great personality,” said her brother Bart.

Twenty pounds overweight with no prospects, Denise agreed to a blind date.

Grant was a lulu—kinky orange hair and squinted eyes behind thick horn-rim glasses.

He fidgeted and checked his watch. “We ordered dinner an hour ago.”

“Yeah, I’m wasting away to a ton.”

“Stop it. You’re just right.”

Denise’s cheeks warmed. “Really?”

“And pretty.”

She relaxed. They chatted away like two old friends until their orders came.

“Filet of dinosaur.” She skewered her steak. “Yum.”

He flashed a dazzling smile. “Bart didn’t lie. You do have a great personality.”

16 August 2019

Published August 14, 2019 by rochellewisoff

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The next photo is the PROMPT. Remember, all photos are property of the photographer, donated for use in Friday Fictioneers only. They shouldn’t be used for any other purpose without express permission. It is proper etiquette to give the contributor credit.

Click on the Frog!

Genre: Hysterical Friction

Word Count: 100

ALL THE AMENITIES

May 1984. We couldn’t wait to take advantage of our newly-purchased lot in a nearby recreational development. So we packed our children-plus-one and everything we needed for a successful camping trip.

Sometime in the night the soothing buzz of locusts gave way to thunder and driving rain that demolished our tents.

Thanks to the help of a sympathetic grounds attendant, our excursion ended in a half-finished bathroom with three bedraggled boys and one engorged mother whose inconsolable baby chose the worst time to wean himself.

Shivering, I muttered to my grumpy husband. “Someday we’ll look back at this and laugh.”

Weekend Writing Prompt – AMATEUR

Published July 27, 2019 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend. How you use the prompt is up to you. Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like. Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise. If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s comment section.

Word Prompt

Amateur

Challenge

My friend lists my achievements in wide-eyed wonder. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

While it’s true I’ve had some good reviews, my books aren’t on the Times bestseller list.

Despite sales, with each new painting, I still feel like an amateur.

And, please, don’t ask me about my organizational skills.

Weekend Writing Prompt – GRIMACE

Published July 13, 2019 by rochellewisoff

A word prompt to get your creativity flowing this weekend. How you use the prompt is up to you. Write a piece of flash fiction, a poem, a chapter for your novel…anything you like. Or take the challenge below – there are no prizes – it’s not a competition but rather a fun writing exercise. If you want to share what you come up with, please leave a link to it in Sammi’s comment section.

Word Prompt

Grimace

Challenge

As usual, with the weekend writing prompt, I wrote the first thing that popped into my head. 😉 I couldn’t help myself. If English is your first language…

Bad grammar. Don’t it make you grimace? Don’t it sit your teeth on edge? Me and my writer friends seen it over and over. They is just as upset about it as me.