Humor

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2 October 2015

Published September 30, 2015 by rochellewisoff

Flowers from the Hill Thoreau

Erie Canal

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The following photo is the PHOTO PROMPT.  Does it download a story to your head. Tell us in a hundred words or less–beginning, middle and and end. 

NOTE: We have experienced some technical difficulty with the inLinkz box. It was in the middle of an update at the most inconvenient time. PLEASE for future reference, if you’re experiencing a difficulty with the site EMAIL ME! I’m as close as runtshell@gmail.com. Thank you. 

Shalom, 

Rochelle

PHOTO PROMPT - © Marie Gail Stratford

PHOTO PROMPT – © Marie Gail Stratford

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Genre: Historical Friction

Word Count: 100

TRASH 80

            “Isn’t it beautiful?” Jan showed off his latest acquisition from Radio Shack.

            I fumed. “Our electric typewriter works just fine. A computer will end up being another dust collector like your precious Polaroid SX-70.”

            “How was I supposed to know the film would cost a fortune?”         

***

            Thirty-six years have passed since that day.  I’ve acquired my own desktop, scanner-printer combo, a netbook for travel and Jan takes sharp pictures with his iPad.  

            He reads my story over my shoulder and says with a sly smile, “Lemme get a rag for you.”

            “Why?”

            “You’ve been at it hours. You’re collecting dust.”

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3 July 2015

Published July 1, 2015 by rochellewisoff

Another Hightway

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The following photo is the PHOTO PROMPT. What story does it have to tell? 

PHOTO PROMPT - © Jean L. Hays

PHOTO PROMPT – © Jean L. Hays


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Genre: Hysterical Fiction

Word Count: 100

GENERATIONS

            “Summer of 1954. What a heatwave,” said Great-Gran. “We didn’t have air conditioning. My boyfriend and I went to the drive-in theater on Saturday nights. If we were lucky there’d be a decent breeze and a good flick like Roman Holiday or From Here to Eternity.

            “I saw them on Netflix.”  Fourteen-year-old Megan loved old movies, the older the better.  “Burt Lancaster was really hot in that sex scene on the beach.”

            “I missed that part of the movie but I think the one in Bobby’s Bel-Air topped it.” Great-Gran’s eyes sparkled.

            “Does Gramps know he’s a passion pit baby?”  

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12 June 2015

Published June 10, 2015 by rochellewisoff

Another Hightway

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The following photo is the PHOTO PROMPT. Some of you may remember it from long ago. 

Kitche picture prompt

PHOTO PROMPT -© Raina Ng

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Summer reruns are upon us. As I will be somewhat out of commission this week to have a physical inconvenience taken care of I’m falling back on one of those prompts from my first year in Friday Fictioneers. I’ve updated it a bit to make it one hundred words exactly. You can find the original post here. I will try to make the rounds but, at this time, make no promises. 

Genre: Realistic Fiction

Word Count: 100

THE GIRL MOST LIKELY

            Coffee and baking cookie aromas filled Gail’s kitchen. She wiped dust from a dog-eared yearbook, set it on the table, smiled at her high school chum and said, “I’m so glad we found each other.” 

            “We were darling, weren’t we?” Brenda flipped through the faded pages. “You’ve done well for yourself, Miss Homecoming Queen. Nice home. Handsome husband. I’m so jealous.”   

            “Thirty-seven glorious years next month.”

             “Amazing.” Brenda pointed to a picture of a moon-faced boy with horn-rimmed glasses and buck teeth. “Hey remember him? What a geek! I wonder what ever happened to the little twerp.”

              “I married him.”

19 December 2014

Published December 17, 2014 by rochellewisoff

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Friday Fictioneers and Poppy

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The next photo is the PROMPT. I can only imagine what’s going through your mind as you look at it. 😉 I dare you to think outside the box. I double-bug dare you! 

My story follows the prompt and the blue inLinkz froggy. I appreciate honest comments as well as constructive criticism.

 

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Genre: Hysterical Fiction

Word Count: 100

BUG TUSSLE

            “Well now it’s time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin…”

            “Dumb show.” Dottie switched off the television. “Bug Tussle. Who’d give a town such a stupid name?”

            “Grandpa and I got hitched there,” said Gran without looking up from her knitting.

            “You’re kidding.”

            “Bug Tussle, Texas.” The yarn strands between Gran’s fingers blurred. “I was only fifteen. Grandpa sure could sweet-talk. Judge Fink officiated.”

            “Fink? Don’t tease me, Grandma.”

            “James Bates Fink. He’d marry anyone for a dollar.”

            “What did your parents say?”

            “Well, Daddy lowered his shotgun and hugged us. Your mama came a month later.”   

 

Yes, Virginia, there really is a Bug Tussle, Texas.  

© Original Artwork -Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

© Original Artwork -Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

 

7 November 2014

Published November 5, 2014 by rochellewisoff

 

FIC

Remember…

The disc and the dragonfly

*IMPORTANT NOTE -Please use the photo prompt in some way shape or form. Printing “Friday Fictioneers” in your tags doesn’t necessarily make it so. 

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The next photo is the PHOTO PROMPT. Study it and let it speak to you. My story follows the blue inLinkz frog .

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PHOTO PROMPT - Copyright - Jean L. Hays

PHOTO PROMPT – Copyright – Jean L. Hays

  

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Genre: Historical Fiction

Word Count: 100

IN AN EARLIER LIFE

            “Too much studying will ruin you. Carpe Diem. Let’s play catch.” Ted grabbed Douglas’ notebook and pressed a pie tin into his hand.

            “Catch? With this?”

            “From the Frisbie Pie Company. It’s all the rage on campus.”

            For the next hour Douglas forgot about Yale, final examinations and commencement. Tension from late nights hunched over text books lifted off his shoulders and a sense of euphoria filled him as he and Ted flung the whirling dish back and forth.

            “This is bound to become a national sport,” cried Douglas.

            “Tin Tossing Tournaments?”

            “Why not?”

            “School’s finally driven you mad, MacIlroy.”

Frisbie Pie Tin

LOGICAL CONCLUSION

Have I gone too far off the beaten path with this one? 

Scout’s Honor, I started with the pictured Ford Edsels. In fact,  I spent a whole day researching Edsel Bryant Ford, the only son of Henry Ford. While I learned a lot, I just couldn’t eke out a story.

However, the Edsel made its debut on my fourth birthday, 4 September 1957. What else happened in 1957? An online timeline showed that before Buddy Holly and the Crickets went to the top of the charts with “That’ll be the Day” in February, Wham-O introduced the first Frisbee 13 January. For some reason, this piqued my interest.

If you’d like to know more now, click here for the History of the Frisbee.  

Doug and plastic

Aloha!

 

AUTOMATIC BLUES

Published October 20, 2014 by rochellewisoff

I GOT THEM STEADILY DEPRESSING, LOW DOWN MIND MESSING, MY CAR’S IN THE SHOP AGAIN, BLUES.

            This past year has not been the best year for my car. In fact I’m beginning to think it’s the incarnation of the Li’l Abner character with a cloud over his head. Remember him? For those of you who don’t…never mind.

            In the midst of our frigid Missouri winter, my Chevy Cruz’s heater went out. So it spent some time in the shop. Due to the lack of a small part that had to be ordered my car was MIA longer than expected.

            My joy at being back in my little car was short lived. The day after getting it back it died in the parking lot after work. This time it had to be towed to the dealership but not before I spent an hour in the car keeping warm and bandying words with the dingbat at the dispatch center. It seems she sent the tow truck driver to Lee’s Summit, Missouri when I’d specifically told her I was at 23rd and Lee’s Summit Road in Independence, Missouri.

            After another week in the shop, my car was returned in perfect working order. End of story? I wish.

            About a month ago, on the way to work, a deer on a suicide mission ran out in front of me. While I was shaken by it, I wasn’t hurt and the car was drivable. Thank God for insurance and a $100 deductible.

Front end after hitting the deer.

Front end after hitting the deer.

     A week ago last Thursday we were on our way home from an event when the driver of an SUV decided he needed our lane on the freeway as well as his own. He sideswiped us and barreled down the road not so gently into the rainy night.

            Of course, the car’s back in the shop. Because we filed a police report and it’s a clear case of hit and run it won’t count against us on our insurance. I’m also grateful to be here. It could’ve been so much worse.

            My story doesn’t end here.

            I’m part of a dying breed of people in the United States who prefer a standard transmission as opposed to an automatic.

            It wasn’t always so, but circumstances thirty-five years ago dictated.

            When Jan taught me to drive a stick he assured me coordinating my left foot and right hand would become second nature. I had my doubts as I popped the clutch and bounced down the street like a rubber ball.

            It happened as he said, though not overnight, it happened. Since then every car, I’ve owned has been a standard. 

            Ever hear of a loaner car with a standard transmission? I shouldn’t complain, right? It could be worse. At least I have a car.

            An automatic requires intense concentration. When coming to a stop, my left foot trembles and my right hand wanders aimlessly. More than once I’ve slammed both feet on the brake and nearly catapulted myself through the windshield.  

            Tonight, I hope, my car’s coming back home, with luck, slightly worse for wear and virtually unwrinkled. I might take her for drive to experience the sheer joy of downshifting to a stop.

            I hope my brake lights work.

 

5 September 2014

Published September 3, 2014 by rochellewisoff

Snorkeling in St. Thomas

Undersea St. Thomas 4 Meme

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The following photo is the PHOTO PROMPT. Let it ignite the flames of your imagination. Then, tell me a story in one-hundred words or less. 

Campfire

PHOTO PROMPT -Copyright – Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

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Genre: Realistic Fiction

Word Count: 100

FIRE IN THE HOLE

            Two months ago my husband bought a dehydrator, a nifty gadget that reduces ten pounds of apples to less than a pound of mummified slices in a matter of hours.

            “Think of the money we’ll save,” said Jeff. 

            “Seriously?” I rolled my eyes.

             The final straw broke when he dehydrated jalapeños.

            A short time later the dog begged to be let out. With my howling baby tucked under one arm and a handkerchief over my stinging nose I blindly kicked open the front door.

            It took a week to fumigate the house. It’ll take longer to let Jeff back in.

START WEARING PURPLE!

Published July 21, 2014 by rochellewisoff

It never occurred to me to designate a theme song for my blog until Junk Chuck (whoever he) dropped by my “About Rochelle” page and left this video. Nothing more to add. Enjoy!

😉 Shalom,

Rochelle

P.S. Click here to meet Chuck. You won’t be sorry. 

4 July 2014

Published July 2, 2014 by rochellewisoff

Thoreau.banner2

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What does the photo prompt below say to you? Tell me in a hundred words. 😉

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Genre: Realistic Fiction

World Count: 99

WHAT’S ON THE MENU?

            “There’s so much I haven’t seen, Mom.”

            “It’ll keep. You’re only eighteen.”

            “I’m a woman.”

            “You’re still a child. The city will eat you alive.”

            “It’s a full scholarship.”

            Three months later, miles from parental scrutiny, Evelyn strolled into the university studio, virgin sketchbook under her arm. 

            She lowered herself onto an art bench, looked up at the statuesque model on a raised platform, held her pencil erect at arm’s length to calculate perspective and, with great relish, contemplated all that nature had bestowed upon him.

            “Study hard,” her mother had said.

            Evelyn smiled.

            “I will, Mom, I will.”  

Toemageddon

Published June 29, 2014 by rochellewisoff

LIGHTNING STRIKES TWICE

I’ve often claimed to be my own anecdote.  But if I can’t laugh at myself…and so on and so on and Scooby dooby dooby do.  

            Although I don’t like to share my physical trials and tribulations, sometimes a situation presents itself that’s too ridiculous not to share. For example, some may recall post about my minute clinic excursion for a mouth ulcer last year that led to a trip to the ER for an abnormally low heart rate.  

            My story begins during the last week of April when I slipped and stubbed my left big toe before going of to work. I thought nothing much of it as I donned my shoe. No bruise, no swelling.  It was uncomfortable but not unbearable the rest of the day. Imagine my shock and amazement when I removed my shoe that afternoon. 

X-rays showed that I’d fractured it at the top joint. 

Left Toe

            A month later, another x-ray showed that my poor broken digit hadn’t healed. My sentence was another four weeks in the stylish, open toed “oxford.” Ironically I haven’t had much pain with this one. For this I’ve been thankful.

            This brings me to this past Friday morning. As I blissfully stepped out of the tub after a refreshing shower I banged my right toe against the sliding-door track. Sharp pain. But I’ve done that before many times over. Nothing to worry about, right?

Broken toe two

            Instead of subsiding, the pain grew steadily worse as did the swelling and discoloration. By yesterday morning (Saturday) it had swollen more. My husband insisted on taking me to the local ER.

            Before all was said and done I warned the ER nurses about my heart rate which for me is normal. (49 for those curious readers.)

            A tech came in and snapped four different x-ray views. I prayed for a diagnosis of simple bruising. Go home put ice on it.

            No such luck.

In the ER

            The PA came back and showed me one of the x-rays on her iPhone. A lovely little fracture in the middle of the joint where foot meets toe.

            So I look forward to returning to work Tuesday wearing not one, but two, ortho boots.

photo 2 (5)

            Sigh. Off to take my pain meds.

Prescription

 

L’chaim.

           

 

            

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